CBT

Mrs. Lion has been wonderful about daily sexual activity. She has done CBT followed by oral teasing almost every night. I’m horny nearly all the time. It’s big fun. On Wednesday night she created a “racing stripe” of sandpaper-lined clothespins from the bottom of my perineum to the top of my balls. Some of them really hurt.

As she put them on, she kept masturbating me. I was fully erect the entire time. Worse than when she puts them on, it really hurts when she takes them off. My state of arousal reduced the discomfort. Sweet lioness!

Lioness 3.0 is indifferent to my discomfort. In fact, she is proud and happy when she finds a spot that is particularly tender. I may have created a monster. She is equally unconcerned when she spanks me. My reaction doesn’t particularly interest her, though I think she enjoys it when I scream. She gauges her progress by the color of my skin. She gets a little annoyed when I bleed. Her paddle spreads the blood around and makes it difficult for her to see the skin below.

She isn’t being particularly cruel when she draws blood. For some reason, I tend to bleed after she hits an area on the right side of my bottom. When she wipes up the blood, there is no trace of a cut or sore. Apparently, a tiny crack in my skin opens up. It closes almost as fast as it opens. I don’t bleed much. The paddle spreads the drops of blood around as it goes about spanking me. Since she knows that the bleeding is very minor, Lioness 3.0 doesn’t even pause when it happens.

I’ve tried using skin cream to keep my bottom soft and supple. That doesn’t seem to help. Perhaps if I change my position to stretch the skin more, it will stop this from happening. Mrs. Lion doesn’t seem to feel that is necessary.

The entire spanking process is completely out of my control. My only job is to present my bare bottom and stay in position. When I loudly complain and tell her I want her to stop, she ignores me. It’s become very clear to me that spanking isn’t for my entertainment. It’s the punishment that I am supposed to hate. I do.

For the longest time, I had trouble reconciling the fact that spanking, at least the idea of it, turns me on. I can get hard thinking about being spanked. Yet spanking is how Mrs. Lion punishes me. It seemed wrong to get any pleasure out of something designed to make me unhappy.

I finally understand what’s going on. Yes, I’ve always liked the idea of being spanked. Before our domestic discipline, I looked forward to Mrs. Lion spanking me. I would often be hard when I got into position for a spanking.

Once Mrs. Lion learned to spank hard enough to hurt, I would quickly lose my erection once she got going. I didn’t like how it felt to be spanked. Yet, I got aroused at the prospect of getting my butt swatted. This isn’t too different from my reaction to other BDSM play. It was very hot to anticipate and remember, but not while it was happening.

I worried that if Mrs. Lion used spanking to punish me, I would feel the same way about a punishment spanking as a play spanking. For a long time, I did. Things changed when Lioness 2.0 began spanking me harder and longer. It hurt like hell. I wanted her to stop. It was definitely not a play spanking.

3.0 is even tougher. Her spankings are ferocious. I think she is still turning up the volume. I truly hate punishment spankings. Even though I like, even need to be spanked, I would never purposely do something to earn one. They are just too painful to do that.

This, of course, is exactly what we need. We both know that when Mrs. Lion punishes me, it is real. There is no play BDSM element at all. If I happen to get hard thinking about one of her spankings, once she starts I will remember that there is nothing sexy or fun going on. I don’t care what paddle she is using. Frankly, I can’t tell and have no time or energy to try to guess. I am way too busy trying to get through this horrible experience. All I think about is how I could be so stupid to earn this spanking.

Lately, on nights that I get spanked, there is no sex play. Mrs. Lion explains that it isn’t because she wants to withhold sex as part of the punishment. She knows that for some time after I get spanked, the last thing on my mind is sex. She’s right.

Mrs. Lion has mentioned that going to the trouble of spanking me after I annoy her is almost like adding insult to injury. She says that she usually doesn’t feel like expending the energy to punish me. I can understand that. However, we both know it is necessary if I am to learn. I don’t think she has bought into this yet. It’s probably time to bite that bullet. 3.0 knows that. It isn’t easy being Lioness 3.0. It’s also not that easy to be her lion.

I had a headache Tuesday night and another on Wednesday night. This morning I woke up with one. It quickly morphed into a migraine. I’d say Lion doesn’t have a hope in hell for play tonight, but it might feel better later. I never know. Last night I asked what he wanted to do. He said he doesn’t get a choice. Hello? I’ve been asking the past few days. If I didn’t want him to have a say, I wouldn’t have asked. He said he could always go for clothespins and then quickly added that he meant regular wood clothespins. Bummer. Well, he might get his choice but I can put a twist on it.

I wasn’t going to swing all the way to the nasty dollhouse clothespins. I’m not that mean. However, we just did the regular clothespins not too long ago. I put a bunch on him the other day and avoided the stripe up the middle. This time I grabbed the clothespins with the grip tape on them. They’re mean too, but nowhere near as mean as the little ones. And I put them straight up the stripe. There are some spots that really hurt. I made sure I was at least close to them if I didn’t entirely hit them. My weenie was very excited. It’s interesting how the weenie enjoys himself even though the surrounding area is hurting. Of course, when the tiny clothespins are on the head, the weenie still enjoys himself. He’s a strange little being.

I still sucked Lion after I was done with the clothespins. He got close and had a very good time, but he still ended rather abruptly. I’m not sure why. As long as he’s enjoying himself along the way, I won’t get too concerned that he can’t last long. But when I decide it’s time for an orgasm, he better look like being ready. (I talk a good game but what can I really do if he’s not ready. Even if I spank him, it probably won’t change anything.) All I can do is keep at it until I get him off. Poor me, having to suck him more. Good thing I love doing it.

Life is very quiet here right now. There is only one more week of the Federal $600/week unemployment supplement. I’m still on furlough and without that extra money, we will have a very difficult time. Perhaps the government will do something in its new stimulus package. We hope so.

Lion's box of penalties
Only a few cards are left in the Box O’fun. At least one is for menthol rub on my balls.

As far as I know, the Box O’Fun and sexual activity are still optional for me. Mrs. Lion hasn’t said anything about making it purely up to her. She hasn’t said anything about tightening up discipline. That doesn’t mean she won’t. It just means she doesn’t want to discuss it with me.

There are just four cards left in the Box O’Fun. Mrs. Lion is sure that one of them is for the blue menthol rub on my balls. It feels like just yesterday that she slathered that nasty stuff down there. Since she pulled out duplicates, the number of cards is considerably fewer than before. That means my least favorites: dollhouse clothespins on the head of my cock, Icy Hot roll on, and blue menthol on my balls come up much more often nowadays.

Mrs. Lion thought I would like the card that calls for a coconut oil handjob. I don’t. At the right time, the coconut oil feels great, but as a play choice, it isn’t working for me. I expect Box O’Fun cards to be about CBT and other BDSM play. Directly going to sex doesn’t feel right to me.

The other night I picked the butt plug card. Instead of passing over it, I asked Mrs. Lion to go ahead and plug me. I have a love/hate relationship with anal activities. It’s a little like spanking. It’s exciting to think about and not always very comfortable to experience. We have a rather large collection of anal toys. It would be a shame to waste them.

When Mrs. Lion gave me my last orgasm, I had the NJoy butt plug up my ass. As I got more aroused, I felt myself clamp down on it. I think it added to the excitement. Mrs. Lion worried that it made the orgasm less pleasant. It didn’t. If anything, it added to the pleasure. In the past, with larger plugs up there, the clamping at the moment of truth can be a little painful. Regardless, the orgasms are always big fun for me.

Mrs. Lion was very smart to invent the Box O’Fun. It has turned out to be terrific foreplay in our peculiar sex life. Sex is purely altruistic for Mrs. Lion. She isn’t interested in sex for herself. Everything is for me. I truly appreciate how much trouble she takes to give me a good time. I just wish I could reciprocate. Since I can’t, the Box O’Fun is a way to add variety without stressing her to come up with things to do.

One thing she can do is to add cards back to the Box before it is empty. That way she can repeat favorites and since she is adding them back, she can control the spacing between occurrences. Wouldn’t it be a bitch if she kept returning my most hated activities to the box, particularly when it is nearly empty?

I have a mask/work/stress-induced headache. There are problems at work. There are problems with the camper. And we are getting ready for a trip across the state. I think COVID 19 is finally getting to me. No, I don’t think I have the virus. I think the issues surrounding it are making me crazy. I’m tired of being afraid of getting it. I’m tired of people who don’t want to wear masks. I’m just done. I need to make a reservation for a rubber room.

It’s a good thing I have a short attention span. I’ve been annoyed at things for about a week, but I’m still able to give Lion attention. His choice from the Box O’Fun was a butt plug. We both decided it wasn’t going to happen. His next choice was regular clothespins. He was happy about that. He can deal with regular clothespins better than some other things in the box.

Needless to say, I have a lot of regular clothespins. It’s been a long time since I put as many on as I could. It makes his balls look like a porcupine. Not all of them hit sensitive spots, but the combination is painful anyway. And, as I jerk him off, I make sure I wiggle them and tug on them to get the full effect. When I hit the ones on the sensitive spots, he lets me know with a grimace.

After I took them off, I counted how many I’d been able to get on him. I thought my record was 34 and I got 38 last night. Lion says he thought the record was over 40. Oh well. At least I got a lot on him. His scrotum looked like a plucked chicken with all the indentations. It didn’t last long. By the time I started sucking him, it was back to normal.

I got him very near the edge a few times. One time he kept bucking into the air when I stopped. I don’t think I’ve ever let him buck into my mouth before. I suppose it can be done but I decided to start sucking him again. Now he’s frustrated. I like that.