Chastity games

jail bird chastity device
It may not look like a wedding ring, but it turns out that this is a very important symbol of our devotion as well as our chastity power exchange.

Now that we’ve been practicing male chastity for six years, I think I have a pretty good handle on what it is, and more importantly, what it isn’t. In the beginning I was very turned on by the idea of wearing a male chastity device. I love bondage and the chastity device is certainly a very intimate form of bondage. I think this is true of most guys. In the beginning we get obsessed with getting the right chastity device. We read everything we can find about the hardware. We may even buy a device or two from Amazon or dhgate.com. We want something cool to lock around our cocks.

We also think about what it will be like to lose control of our orgasms. Once locked in that device, there is no chance of any sexual activity. The sexual activity this controls most often is masturbation. I don’t know of any guys who wear one to prevent having sex with other women. From its inception in Victorian times to the present, the male chastity device’s main purpose is to prevent masturbation.

I find that idea very hot. I’ve never been much of a secret masturbator, though I did jerk off once or twice a week when Mrs. Lion stopped wanting sex. When I got a device that fit, I asked Mrs. Lion if she would lock me into it. She agreed. She asked me a few questions about masturbation. She was very surprised to learn that I jerked off a couple of times a week. I was amazed that this bothered her. It turns out that she had no idea I was doing it and felt it was a betrayal. My first rule was that I was never to masturbate again.

That’s how we started. I think this is pretty typical. A short time later we drafted a chastity contract that spelled out our expectations. It specified that Mrs. Lion had total control over any sex I might get. It specified that she would unlock me and masturbate me to the edge of orgasm at least once every other day. She would be the only one who decides when I go further and get to ejaculate. It was a simple agreement. It said that after six months we would reevaluate and decide if we want to continue.

Mrs. Lion was sure that by six months I would want this over and done with. Within a few weeks of starting, we both surprised ourselves by realizing that we liked this arrangement. I was getting regular sexual stimulation and Mrs. Lion enjoyed having control of my sexual pleasure as well as deciding when I would get to ejaculate. It turned out that we both really enjoyed this power exchange.

Shortest Jail Bird on Lion's penisWe are still doing it. It’s changed very little. The only noticeable difference is that I’m not always locked in a chastity device. Mrs. Lion is indifferent right now as to whether or not I wear one. It doesn’t matter in terms of our male chastity power exchange. With or without a device locked on my penis, I never masturbate. It’s almost as if I’ve forgotten how. The only sex I receive comes from Mrs. Lion. She allows me to get hard if I want and I can use my hand to do it. But I’m not allowed to get close to the edge of orgasm. I never have. Male chastity for us is a way of life.

It doesn’t feel odd that I have lost control of my sexual pleasure. It feels natural and comfortable. I haven’t masturbated in six years. Unlike some guys, Mrs. Lion does not allow me to do it myself even under her supervision. She wisely believes that if she allows me to do it any time, I will be likely to try it on my own. So my paws remain away from “her weenie”.

If you are new to this, or your man has asked you to lock him in a chastity device, there are a couple of important points that our experience might illustrate. The first is that the only thing that male chastity is about is controlling the male’s sexual pleasure. That’s it. A chastity device is a very good idea in the beginning; by that I mean at least a year or two. It takes that long to get fully conditioned. I’m completely trained in terms of the sexual use of my penis. It belongs 100% to my lioness. Three years of continuously wearing a chastity device trained me very well. I know that if I’m even tempted to get myself off, Mrs. Lion will lock me back up immediately. Being wild, as we call it, is a privilege.

I think that writing an informal contract is an important beginning step with male chastity. Its value isn’t so much that it “legally” binds you as much as it defines the boundaries of this new, hot activity. Even if you plan to do it just for a weekend or a week, the contract adds a lot of heat to an already hot idea.

A chastity contract isn’t a good document that requires a form or some other complex set of instructions. It only has to cover a few important points:

1. How long the agreement is in force.

2. How often the device come off for cleaning and teasing.

3. How long (this is optional but important for some people in the beginning) is the maximum amount of time he has to wait between ejaculations. Another way to look at this is what is the minimum amount of time he has to wait. For example, it could say that he will not even have a chance at ejaculation until at least seven days has passed. This is useful and very exciting.

That’s it. I don’t suggest any other complications are required. Male chastity is a very simple game. A lot of guys try to complicate it with all sorts of rules and penalties. You may want to add stuff later, but in the beginning this is really as far as you should go.

I don’t often say “should”. I really hate when bloggers make pronouncements about what you should or should not do. The only reason I’m saying that now is that the very simple act of locking up a man’s penis and then controlling his sexual pleasure is very powerful. A lot of guys don’t realize just how difficult this can be. Also, perhaps more importantly, most women start out with absolutely no idea what this is about or why their man wants them to do it. It will take time for both partners to develop patterns that support male chastity. It’s taken Mrs. Lion and I years to fully integrate this into our marriage.

Now it is so deeply embedded in our relationship that I don’t think either of us would have any real idea how to stop. I can’t imagine having any kind of sex without Mrs. Lion’s explicit permission. In fact, I can’t imagine having any sort of sex without Mrs. Lion producing my pleasure. She has become my sole source of sexual gratification. I can’t do it myself anymore. She and she alone provides me with orgasms. That’s powerful stuff. It doesn’t seem that way when you start because it’s also very hot. Trust me, at some point the idea that sex is now no longer in your own hands sinks in. When it does, you may want to get out.

Obviously, when I realized it, I was happy. I’m still happy. I have never regretted giving Mrs. Lion power. She wields it with love and not a little mischievousness. She has fun with it and so do I. I hope you do too.

urethra poking out of a male chastity device
When everything is lined up; my urethra peaks out of the center opening. Peeing is not a problem then. Should it slip down a bit, there will be a messy spray.
(click image to view larger)

Mrs. Lion seemed surprised when she read about my decision to order a Cherry Keeper 3D printed chastity device. After all, I do have a large collection of these items. So far, the only one I wear regularly is the Jail Bird. Part of the reason I do is that it’s out and available when it isn’t on me. The main reason is that it fits perfectly and is very comfortable. I suspect that Mrs. Lion also likes the steel better than white nylon.

The Jail Bird is an old friend. I’ve been wearing it since 2014. It’s gone through several modifications, primarily cage shortening, to improve the fit. It’s very unlikely that any off-the-shelf product can fit as well. Having said that, there is one issue with the Jail Bird that I wish could be fixed: the alignment of my urethra in the cage.

Each time I’ve had the cage shortened I expected the firmer contact with the front bars would keep my urethra centered and unobstructed. Now that the cage length is down to just 1 inch, the shortest Jail Bird can be made, my urethra still wanders a little bit. All it takes is for it to move slightly behind one of the bars to produce an unfortunate, messy spray of urine.

It may turn out that short of a urethral tube, no device will provide continuous, trouble-free alignment for the urethra. A partial solution is to sit when peeing. That way, messy spray is contained inside the toilet. Of course, if the alignment is off my balls get an unwelcome urine shower. My solution is to keep a Q-tip handy at all times. I can use it to realign the head of my penis so that spray is eliminated.

I really want a trouble-free device. Our collective experience with very short cages suggests there may be an opportunity to build devices that effectively hold the penis head position and, of course, provide protection from sexual arousal. The market dictates what’s important when designing and building male chastity devices. Until the last few years, there’s been very little feedback to the makers.

Thanks to blogs and forums, it’s possible for people who will design and make male chastity devices to keep their fingers on the pulse of the market. Discussion of security is more and more infrequent. Guys are maturing and recognize that they are wearing these devices because they asked to. That means, one of the major considerations in chastity device design: security is very low priority. With our discovery that cage length can be very short without compromising comfort, another formerly important fit issue has fallen by the wayside.

As my one-inch Jail Bird illustrates, the cage itself only has to contain the head of the penis. The flaccid body comfortably collapses upon itself and lives behind the cage and in front of the base ring. That means we can get a design that fits the head like a glove and has a mechanical mechanism, like the headlock in the Cherry Keeper, that doesn’t allow the head to pull back at any time. This fit should guarantee there won’t be any more migration causing those unpleasant sprays.

The Nub is a good example of a device that’s on the right track. Its 1 inch tube tightly holds the penis head and the urethra pokes through the single front opening. In my experiments wearing it, I find that the urethra can at times wander away from its position. Getting it back in position can be problematic.

I have an idea. What if the very front of the cage has a short funnel-like structure. If the head can be held firmly in place inside the cage, the short funnel can encourage the urethra to remain centered. The walls of this sloping shape can form a sort of seal between the head of the penis and the opening. This will assure proper alignment. I’m not suggesting that the funnel taper to a small opening. It doesn’t have to. It just needs to provide a little extra encouragement to keep the urethra where it belongs.

Once you stop worrying about security and somehow encasing the entire penis in a cage, you can think about the issues that make long-term chastity device wear more practical. I think it’s worth a try.

Enforced chastity doesn’t have to be a long-term kink. The famous CB2000, the forerunner of the popular CB6000 chastity device, was invented for weekend chastity play. At the time of its invention (the mid-1990’s) the chastity device market was mostly belts or uncomfortable tubes. Any quality device was custom made; expensive and with long lead time before delivery. The inventor of the CB device, decided to make his own. He also figured out a way to make it “adjustable”. Essentially, it was one size fits all.

Now, there are other chastity “kits” that contain multiple base rings and spacers. More common are off-the-shelf devices that allow you to specify base ring size and then mate it with a cage that is offered in several lengths and widths. This is perfectly adequate for short term wear. A very large range of chastity devices is available at dhgate.com. Many of these are cheap enough to be used once or twice and discarded. They offer an opportunity to try enforced male chastity before committing more than a few bucks.

Almost everything you find on the Internet talks, including this blog, talks about long term enforced male chastity. I’ve been practicing for almost five years. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t great opportunities to play with this kink.

The entire point of it is male sexual surrender. By wearing a chastity device and giving someone the only key to the lock, you effectively hand that person your ability to use your penis for anything but peeing. You can’t get hard. You can’t ejaculate. Sex is completely under the control of the keyholder. I find that a very exciting idea.

Many guys would like to experience this but aren’t prepared to make their surrender permanent. That’s fine. Enforced male chastity is a fun form of sexual bondage. Lock up your cock and then “earn” the ability to get off. Lots of possibilities must come to mind. A couple could spend a very fun weekend with the caged male earning his ability to get hard and come.

You don’t have to be caged for years. You don’t have to become a sexual slave. You can just get an inexpensive chastity device and add it to your toybag. She can lock it on when you get home from work on Friday and tease  you until Sunday nght, when, if you’re a good boy, she unlocks you and lets you come.

It never has to go any further than that. Just because some of us are under permanent control, doesn’t mean you can’t use the same stuff to spice up your sex life. Have fun!

I’ve been thinking of something for a while. Actually it’s only when I brush my teeth. That’s when I see the collection of nail polish. About a week or so ago I thought maybe it’s time Lion had pretty toes again. And then I finish brushing my teeth and the idea is gone. Until the next time I brush my teeth.

In all fairness, we’ve both been sick and painting his toe nails wouldn’t have been the best idea. It wouldn’t give him the sense that he belonged to me. He probably would have thought, “Great. I’m going to die from this cold and I’ll have pink toes.” Now that our colds are almost gone he won’t be so worried about dying with pink toes. He’ll still hate the pink toes though. But that sounds like a personal problem to me.

A similar personal problem would be if I made him wear panties again. Pink toes and pink panties? Mortifying! He’d put up with it. He has no choice. But he will not be happy. All the more reason I should do it. We need something to snap us out of our sickness. Why not pink toes and pink panties? Perfect for spring.

Yup. That’s my plan. He may not be caged at the moment but he’ll be pretty in pink. I’m sure he’d rather be caged. Too bad. It’s not up to him. When I get home I’ll paint his little piggies and select a nice pink pair of panties for him to wear tomorrow. And if he doesn’t have pink panties I’ll find something to match the nail polish we have. Don’t worry, Lion. I’m sure we can find a nice pairing.