This morning, I was working on one project and Lion was working on another. He called me over to ask me something, I answered and walked away. I heard him say something along the lines of “you’re never around when I want you.” I growled that I was trying to do something and he’s not the only person in the house. However… he was talking to the dog. My first renewed foray into growling at him and he was talking to the dog. Yeah. That sounds about right.

Apparently I need to count to ten before I growl. I’ve growled at Lion before, both in the moment and after a little while. Neither one feels particularly comfortable to me yet. And I have to figure out how to come back to the subject down the road without giving him the dreaded “we have to talk”. My daughter is studying to be a psychologist (she jokes it’s to diagnose the family) and she’s learned that the “when you do X, it makes me feel Y” used on so many TV sitcoms is real. It’s much better than “you always/never do X”. Lion is very sensitive to criticism. Generally, he’ll say he’s a horrible person for doing whatever I’ve pointed out. Maybe it depends on how I approach it. I don’t believe I bare my teeth and jump up and down in front of him accusingly, but maybe that’s what he feels. I’m famous for reading tones into emails and texts that don’t exist.

We were watching “The Good Doctor” the other night and one of the characters was quarantined with his wife because he’s had cancer and going to work would put him at too much risk. He’s able to have meetings online and be involved that way. His wife keeps bursting into the room and asking him questions or running the blender loudly while he’s in meetings. Then she goes out without realizing that if she’s exposed to the virus, she can expose him. She’s basically driving him crazy and he yells at her. It was interesting to watch the TV show with a couple go through that in a non-sitcom setting.

It wasn’t meant to be funny. It was actually showing what some people are dealing with being stuck home together during the quarantine. By the end of the episode, of course, they’ve solved their problems. And we both realized how lucky we are that we don’t have that problem.

Lion is very considerate when I’m working from home, as I am when he works from home. He asks if the TV will bother me. I don’t usually make a lot of noise anyway, but I’m used to having music on and people on the phone or talking loudly around me. The only issue I have when I work from home is that the damn dog needs to go out all the time and I’m the only one who can let her out. Lion can try, but she usually won’t go out for him if I’m home. Silly dog.

Now that I’m following Lion’s suggestion of growling rather than spanking (I know he said I can do either, but I like the growling better. Baby steps.), I have to work on how I’m going to accomplish it. If this morning is any indication, I think I’m willing to do it. I just have to make sure he’s talking to me and not the dog when I growl.

Lion and I haven’t been on the same page lately. My lack of a sex drive has been bothering him. He’s not able to reciprocate and that makes him sad. I can understand it. I’d feel bad if I wanted sex and Lion didn’t. I’d miss sucking him and giving him orgasms. I think eventually I’d probably give up sex. I hope Lion doesn’t give up sex. We talked a bit about it yesterday and actually listened to what the other was saying. I think maybe we might be back to a good place.

He didn’t flinch when I brought out the rope last night. He didn’t say he wasn’t in the mood. He just asked if I needed him to move over so I had more room. I tied his balls so they were separated and he was hard fairly quickly. When I told him to lay across the bed so I could suck him, he didn’t hesitate.

Sometimes I go right for the kill. Lion doesn’t like that so much. He needs a bit more time to get in the mood. It’s also why, I assume, sometimes he thinks I’m in a hurry. I’ve been trying to take my time. I let my tongue sweep across him and linger in certain areas I know are sensitive. I start sucking him slowly. I let the feelings build up before I go faster.

I used to go very slow. Lion didn’t really like that either. I mean, the quickness of my movements. Slow in, slow out. My theory was that it made him crazy with all the build up. I guess it drove him crazy, but not because of the build up. He wanted me to go faster. Obviously, there’s a time to go slow and a time to speed up. And it doesn’t need to be all fast or all slow. For example, last night I got Lion to the edge and then slowly let my tongue dance around the head of his penis. That seemed to be torture for him. He wanted more.

Normally, when I untie his balls, it means I’m done with him. Last night, I untied him and he was already starting to get soft when I sucked him to life again. I got him close and then I was done with him. I always like to keep him guessing. I was tempted to give him an orgasm, but I thought he was thinking I would. The last time he had an orgasm it was of the ruined variety. I wanted to make up for that. On the other hand, we’re just getting back in the swing of things and I want to torture him a bit longer. I think we can both wait.

Since Lion brought up preferences, I’m wondering about circumcised versus uncircumcised. Admittedly, my experience is very limited. I’ve only been with two men (yes, for real) and they are both circumcised. However, when my sons were born, I did not have them circumcised. I didn’t see the need to put them through the pain. I’ve read that uncircumcised men have greater feelings during sex than circumcised men. How can they know that? Women, I assume, can feel a difference. So my question is whether women a) can tell the difference and b) prefer circumcised or uncircumcised men. Talk amongst yourselves. Click here to take Twitter poll.

we were on the wrong page last night

Lion and I apparently were not on the same page last night. I worked from home because I’ve been nauseous for a few days. Who wants to be at work feeling like that? Around dinner time, we were trying to figure out what to have. Lion suggested pizza. That did not sound good to me. Ordinarily, I’m all over pizza. I assume my stomach had taken over my taste buds and vetoed it. The more I thought about food, the more my stomach protested. We finally decided to have our go-to upset tummy meal which is egg noodles and peas.

My stomach was behaving but I wasn’t sure for how long. Sometimes I move the wrong way and it sends out the evacuation order. We were watching TV and holding hands. Around 9, Lion asked if we were going to do anything and then said he shouldn’t have asked. I thought he meant he shouldn’t have asked because of my stomach. He thought he shouldn’t have asked because I’m in charge. He suggested we get an earlier start today. I’m not sure if he forgot about my stomach issue. Maybe he figured it was better because I wasn’t complaining about it.

So far, knock-on-wood, it seems okay today. We’ll have to see how it goes but we may be able to get that earlier start tonight. I still owe him some Icy Hot. (I just threatened him with Icy Hot. We really don’t have to use it.)

I was concentrating so hard on work yesterday that I didn’t realize until late that I hadn’t written a post. Normally I would have done one even if it was late, but then I got back into work and it was very late before I thought of it again. I was also dealing with stomach issues and a sore toe. Needless to say, I wasn’t thinking about sex or playing with Lion.

My stomach issues and toe pain also affected Lion attention last night. If not for my stomach, I would have teased him. Obviously, it’s difficult to be on my stomach with my weenie in my mouth if I don’t feel well. Lion reported tropical weather, but he understood that it was not to be. Tonight, however, is his night.

Lion pointed out that I stopped sucking him to ask if he was close. He thinks it’s because he’s hit a plateau and I’m wondering whether to continue. It’s not. I’m thinking he’s close and I’m missing the signs. I just want to be sure I’m not too close and in danger of going too far. I don’t think it’s taking too long. He’s been really excited lately. I have no doubt he can make it to the edge. Given the fact that the last ruined orgasm snuck up on both of us, I’m being hyper vigilant.

He also noticed that I call it punishment versus spanking. I thought I used both terms. I know I also say swats. I think I do it to avoid overusing a word. Other than that, it’s not something I think about. It’s strange that we appear to see things differently. But, I guess not considering his theory about why we do.