diapers (Page 3)

When I told Lion he had a little more than an hour of freedom left he wasn’t too happy. Two big boxes of diapers arrived and are staring him down. What can I say? He probably shouldn’t have asked me if we wanted them. And if he did, he shouldn’t have asked me what we’d do with so many diapers. Silly boy. He knows the answer.

I find this sort of thing amusing. Technically I’m not hurting him. He’s not in any physical pain. It’s emotional pain. He’s humiliated by wearing a wet diaper. I suppose I could make it worse if I told him to wear the diapers that look more like baby diapers. Then I’d have to change him. His wife would have to wipe his peed butt and powder him before putting another diaper on him. How humiliating!

No, thank you. I can only go so far. I deal with poo sometimes when I peg him. I do not want to change a wet diaper. The only diapers I want to change are grandchildren’s diapers. They can’t help being wet or messy. I guess Lion can’t help it either since I’m making him wear diapers, but I don’t have to change him.

I’ll make sure Lion washes himself when I want to play with him. I don’t want to deal with pee smell either. Yuck.

There is one thing that I like about Lion wearing a diaper. His balls are warm and loose when we play. It’s like he just came out from under the blankets. I like when his balls hang down. In the past, I’ve stretched them with a weight but that’s not necessary. I am just a big fan of the rear view, bent over Lion with balls swinging in the breeze. And warm balls swing more freely. I also think the skin is softer when it’s warm. Of course those balls will be covered by a diaper this weekend except when we play. I know he’s hoping for some extended play sessions so he can avoid being in the diaper.

I think it’s funny that Lion doesn’t like much of what we do while we’re doing it but he would be miserable if we didn’t do it. In the past he’s told me we can stop playing. He insists it’s just not that important to him. After a few weeks he gets upset that we’re not playing. Every now and then he tells me he’ll love me even if we never play again. That may be true but he wouldn’t be happy.

He wonders why we have so many diapers in the house. What will we do with the new stash? Where will two big boxes of diapers go? What will we do with all these paddles? Where can we put all the dildos? If we stopped buying them (I’m guilty too) there may not be so many. But I think we buy them because we’re looking for the latest and greatest. And maybe this acquisition will be the one that tickles my fancy enough to make me truly love topping him as opposed to just doing it to make him happy.

The silliest part of it is that some years ago we donated a lot of toys to a local play center. They were very excited to get paddles and straps and dildos. And then we went home and started amassing a new mountain of toys. Each toy makes Lion both unhappy and happy to have. Well, he’s never really happy about the Velcro or tiny clothespins. But he has a love/hate relationship with the rest.

He doesn’t really care what we do. He just wants me to do something to him. Lion is famous for saying he doesn’t have an addictive personality. I disagree. He’s addicted to play. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Just an observation.

He’s dreading a weekend of diapers, but he’ll feel bad if I don’t follow through with it. He may not feel bad about not sitting in a heavy diaper, but he’ll miss the idea of it. So I won’t disappoint him. He’ll be home on Friday but he doesn’t need to start the diapers until evening – say 5 o’clock. If he’s in a heavy duty diaper he’ll have to sit through two pees and when he needs to pee the third time he can change into a new diaper for that third pee. That way he’ll always have a wet diaper. If he wears the lighter diapers he can change just before the second pee. He can wear plastic pants whenever he thinks he has the potential of either leaking or losing the diaper. A two pee diaper is fairly heavy. If the plastic pants might help him keep the diaper up.

I hope Lion feels lucky he won’t have to wear diapers all day Friday. If he’s a good boy he might get time off for good behavior. If he’s a bad boy he might have time added. Otherwise, the diaper can come off Sunday night.

Apparently, my vacation from diaper play is about to end. In her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion referred to a recent diaper acquisition I made. Actually, the diapers were offered to me for free. I asked Mrs. Lion if she had any interest and she said she certainly did. So, two cases (one daytime and one overnight) of adult pull-on’s are arriving Friday. It’s not that we don’t have a big supply. Over the years, I’ve purchased different kinds. I did it for the same reason I do many things: curiosity.

Curiosity may not kill this big cat, but it certainly has long-lasting side effects. I introduced the idea of diapers years ago. I was curious to learn what it would be like to wear one. I’ve learned! Boy, have I learned. The same is true of virtually all the uncomfortable activities that are now in the fabric of our marriage.

I just can’t help myself.

In her post, Mrs. Lion worried about me wearing a diaper under my clothes in public. She is concerned that a leak could be visible. Years ago, she had me wear one when we went shopping for an evening. I even had to use it. No leak. I also have those rubberized underpants designed to prevent any public problems. I was curious what it would be like to wear that over a diaper. For the record, it works keeping leaks in. It’s a little hotter than wearing the diaper on its own.

You might think that owning all this equipment is a strong indication that I want to be put into diapers; that it’s yet another fetish I have. Actually it isn’t. Somewhere in my BDSM past when bottoming to a girlfriend, she suggested diapers. Her reasoning was that they add to my feeling of helplessness, and her feeling of control. It also made it possible for her to keep me tethered for long periods without worry that I will need to use a toilet. She was right on both counts.

I don’t feel like a baby when Mrs. Lion makes me wear diapers. My feeling is more primal than that. I feel controlled, and after a few hours, sorry I suggested it. I would never choose to have to pee myself and walk around with a wet diaper. With the high-capacity diapers, I’m often required to walk around with two pees in my diaper. I get to change it only when I am ready to pee again. That way, the fresh diaper is always wet with at least one pee.

Given the technology in the incontinence business, I don’t really feel soaking wet. The diaper keeps most of the moisture away. Similarly, there is no strong smell. There’s a little, just enough for me to be aware of what’s happening. The most pronounced sensation is the weight of all that liquid. A full diaper is heavy. It tends to try to droop down and it looks very bulky. This is humiliating when all I get to wear is that heavy diaper.

I have some pull-on’s (Depends) that don’t have the capacity of the ones that look like big, baby diapers.They look and fit like regular briefs. I can wear them under my jeans without them being noticeable. When wet, they add a little bulk to my lower crotch. That’s not very noticeable to a casual passersby. The big problem for me with public diaper-wearing is when I need to change one. That requires a stall in a public men’s room, undressing, changing, dressing, and then trying to discreetly dispose of the full diaper.

It seems to me that the diaper experience is a combination of private humiliation and some physical discomfort walking around with a few pounds of gelled urine. The helpless feeling starts to cut in after a day of continuous diaper wear. It’s one kink that gets old fast. It doesn’t matter. Those wet diapers remain on me until my sentence is up. If they go on Friday after work, I’m tired of them by Saturday afternoon. But weekend diaper wearing goes on until I am ready to leave for work on Monday. I may or may not be allowed to shower over the weekend. If Mrs. Lion wants to tease me, she will let me wash. Otherwise, the sticky, smelly state I’m in is part of the fun for her.

Lioness 1.0 would let me sleep without a diaper. They do feel warm and have the possibility of interfering with my sleep. I’m not sure Lioness 2.0 cares about that and may want me to get the full 24-hours-a-day experience. I guess if I am tired enough I will sleep; wet diaper or not. That’s what the overnights are for, after all.

Last week Lion found a good deal on diapers. He ordered them and they will be arriving on Friday – just in time for the weekend. Lucky Lion!

Now he keeps reminding me of all the diapers we have around the house and there are more coming. I guess that means I need to put him in diapers. OK. I’m game. He can be in diapers this weekend. I’m not sure what plans we have, other than the dog going for a bath on Sunday. By then Lion will need to be hosed off too. I’ll work out the parameters in the next few days.

When Lion bought the diapers he said they’re more like regular diapers than the ones he’s been wearing. At first I thought that meant they had the tape and I’d have to change him. Yuck! I told him I’m in charge and I shouldn’t have to change a yucky diaper. My lioness hands should not touch disgusting things. Then he showed me a picture of them. They’re pull-on diapers like the other ones. However, they are white rather than gray and maybe they don’t fit quite as well as the underwear version. Phew!

It’s been a while since Lion was in diapers. Apparently he’ll need to be in them more often if I am to get rid of the stockpile. I do like to see Lion in “misery” because he’s sitting in pee and because he always stands up when he has to pee just to make sure it doesn’t leak all over the place. It’s sort of the equivalent of watching a little kid concentrate so hard when you know they’re pooping in their diaper.

Aside from those moments, I don’t really like him in diapers. I worry they’ll leak if we’re out somewhere. They never have but I still worry. We’d both be embarrassed. I don’t really want to embarrass Lion in public. I guess that’s one reason I’ve never made him wear his punishment shirt. It’s one thing to humiliate him in private. It’s quite another to do it in public.

Maybe Lion really wants to be humiliated in public. I can’t help him there. I have enough trouble doing it in private. I know he’s looking forward to Lioness 3.0. Maybe she’ll be better at that.