Domestic discipline

Last night Lion had another erection as soon as the cage came off. I suppose it’s too soon to declare the experiment an unqualified success. At some point, he’s bound to not have an erection when the cage comes off. How sustainable could it be? Everyone has off days.

It’s nice to have him so responsive this soon after an orgasm, but that response doesn’t necessarily translate into edging. Obviously, there’s more to edging than having an erection and being horny. The mind can be willing even if the body leaves you hanging. I may have gotten him somewhat close last night. [Lion — She did.] My main goal during these early stages is to make him feel good. As long as it feels good and I’m not annoying him, I’ll keep going. Within reason, of course. I won’t go hours just because it feels good to him. I’ll get tired eventually. Sometimes I crap out before he does. Having him tell me he thinks he’s done isn’t a bad thing. We’ll just pick it up tomorrow.

As we get ready for our trip, we discussed his wearing the cage while we’re gone. He says there’s no reason he can’t wear it since it’s comfortable and he can pee straight. We have two copies of each key so I put a set on my camper key chain. Now I won’t forget them. The lion would be a bit upset if I did. He wouldn’t be unlocked for six days. I know in the male chastity world that may not seem like a long time, but it is to Lion. He may like being locked up, but he loves being unlocked and played with even more.

lion's paddle
The camper paddle that Mrs. Lion hangs in full view just inside our camper door.

I’ll also need to put the toy bag back in the camper. I think I took the paddles out so I’ll replenish those. If I forgot them, I still have the camper paddle available. We hang it just inside the door to remind Lion who rules the camper. In a pinch, I can use it to confirm that fact. It may be small, but it packs a powerful punch. I don’t usually punish him, or play with him for that matter, much when we’re camping. I’m usually tired from driving and not sleeping well. But I’m going to make more of an effort. He needs to know I’m paying attention.

Mrs. Lion growled at me on Thursday night and again on Friday. I asked if I had earned a spanking and was told I had. She was too tired on Friday night and told me that I would be spanked soon. She also said the spanking would reflect the two offenses. I suppose it’s my own fault for asking her if I had punishment coming. I want to be sure that we get past the inertia covering enforcing annoying my lioness. Perhaps we are on our way.

The other day I mentioned a Disciplinary Wives Club (DWC) saying, “The more it hurts him, the more he will love you.” It has been on my mind. The DWC context is a clear encouragement for wives whose husbands asked for their discipline. It isn’t easy to hurt someone you love. It took Mrs. Lion years to learn to spank me strongly enough to be meaningful.

I don’t think I am in any danger of her becoming abusive. She understands what works for me in terms of spanking. I don’t always agree with her assessment. I shouldn’t. By definition, if I am comfortable with the level of spanking I receive, it most certainly means that it is too mild to be useful. The entire point of punishment, even adult, husband punishment is to hurt enough to effectively deter future wrongdoing.

As for loving her more as the pain increased, I don’t think so. I also don’t love her less because she makes my bottom sore. After being punished, I am much more aware of how I am acting. I want to avoid another spanking.

When the enforcement is new, like annoying Mrs. Lion, I realize that I will get frequent spankings. It will take me time to learn what I have to change and internalize those changes. Here is where a slight modification of the DWC saying makes sense: “The more you make him hurt, the faster he will improve.”

We have learned this over the years. Each time Mrs. Lion became more consistent with punishing me, I learned. As her spankings got more painful, I learned more quickly. I’m not trying to explain why this works with me. I like to consider myself fairly smart and capable of learning without a paddle to help. Apparently, when it comes to habitual behaviors, I’m not.

Just as important, when the paddle is used, Mrs. Lion doesn’t hold on to negative feelings. She appears to get a sense of closure when she beats me. We clean the slate and hopefully, I also will avoid repeating my sin.

If I do repeat it, Mrs. Lion doesn’t feel helpless and angry. She has recourse; painful recourse. She knows that if she consistently punishes me, I will learn. In the meantime, she knows she is being heard. Don’t underestimate that. It means a lot to unmistakably know you are being heard. That may be one of the big reasons she missed our domestic discipline when we temporarily suspended it after my surgery.

Mrs. Lion filled you in on our very busy afternoon and evening Sunday. I really hated my spanking for eating first. I think we are at a point where Mrs. Lion may want to consider more things spankable. Aside from the fact that domestic discipline works well for us, the next logical step is for Mrs. Lion to increase what she considers spankable offenses. I know that I frequently get “passes” for behavior she isn’t very happy with. It may be time to stop giving me those passes and get out the paddle.

In my reading, it’s extremely rare to find a disciplining wife who didn’t get initial guidance from her husband. Years ago, the disciplinary wives club website and correspondence offered support. Like today, most of its readers were male. The instructions the website offered were relayed from husband to wife. This doesn’t map to the fantasies, but it is probably the best way to offer disciplinary instruction. The fact that the husband is imparting this information, strongly suggests he is asking his wife to adopt whatever it is he discovered online.

One of the more interesting aphorisms that came out of the DWC was, “The more you make a spanking hurt, the more he will love you.” That gets to the heart of the insecurities I think that wives feel, at least in the beginning. I also believe it’s true for me. It’s a very odd feeling to truly hate the spanking I’m receiving yet feel grateful Mrs. Lion is doing it for me.

It seems to me that one of the most difficult, blocking factors stopping Mrs. Lion from making more things spankable is her sense of fairness. She has often said that she doesn’t think it’s fair to punish me without first telling me what it is that will earn future spankings. I agree that would be the fairest way to approach things. The problem is that we never get to the point that something is disciplinary.

For the record, I am not talking about the fact that she helped me on Sunday night by reminding me the coffeepot was not set up. That was a kind and reasonable thing to do. I appreciated it. I’m thinking about what she may consider “little things” that get under her radar. Other disciplined husbands have written that the principal way their DD relationships grew was by their wives tightening up on what they could get away with.

While we had the training wheels on, it didn’t make a lot of sense for Mrs. Lion to simply announce that something I just said annoyed her and was spankable. At that time, we were building the good habits we needed for our disciplinary relationship. Somehow we got stuck there. I think it’s time for her to use her observational skills and her strong paddle hand to call me to task for things she once considered small. That’s the thing about education, you start learning basic concepts and once learned, move into the subtle less-easily-observed stuff. I think we are at that point.

[Mrs. Lion — When will I have time to do anything else? 😆]

The other day, Lion said there should be a trial period for domestic discipline and that once the trial was over there should be no reason to end DD. His feeling is that ending it would signal the end of the marriage. I disagree.

If Lion came to me and said he wanted to stop DD, I wouldn’t wave him off with a laugh. There must be a good reason he no longer wanted to do it. I can’t see giving him a yes or no answer without first discussing things. Why does he want it to end? Does he, in fact, want to end the marriage? I think there would be signs long before he asked to end DD, but it’s a valid question. Is he depressed and doesn’t feel he can manage following rules anymore? Again, I’d hope there would be signs, but talking is good. Is he somehow physically unfit to handle punishment? Yes, I should know long before the request, but he may have been hiding it for fear that I would see it as rejection or weakness. My point is, if there’s a problem, we should discuss it.

I’ve said before that I don’t rule with an iron fist. I’m not heartless. I want Lion to be happy. If he’s not happy, I need to know. The only way he knows I’m unhappy is if I tell him. The same goes for him. Neither one of us is exactly equipped to share our deepest darkest secrets. The last time Lion was unemployed, I never knew he cried after interviews until he shared it in a post. I am a pro at hiding when he hurts my feelings. I’ve made some progress with this lately, but I still do it sometimes.

Things are rarely black and white. Life is a roller coaster with much of the ride in the non-terrifying parts. If Lion wants to stop domestic discipline, I’d be willing to bet he’s stuck in one of the terrifying parts and needs to be towed back to the loading zone for repairs. We’ll need to see what we can do to get things rolling along again.