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In: Domestic discipline
lion's spanked butt

As I predicted, Mrs. Lion spanked me on Wednesday as soon as she got off work. It was a ten-minute-plus spanking that had me yelping all the way. Mrs. Lion said that there was lots of blood, but that didn’t deter her. She has long experience tanning my hide. I got the message that she was determined to let me know how important it is to send her a daily email before noon. This was my sixteenth spanking this year. I expect that Mrs. Lion will make up for lost time now that she is in disciplinary mode again.

The idea of adult spanking can seem incredibly strange and kinky to people unfamiliar with the practice. I admit that I have had an erotic attraction to being spanked. I can’t positively confirm it, but my only childhood spanking–pajamas down and over my mother’s lap–was cut short before she got off a single swat. I’m sure it was because I had an erection. She had no experience with spanking, and I imagine my hard little penis disturbed her. Women who come from spanking families are familiar with male erections before a spanking starts. I’ve read enough accounts of male spankings to believe this pre-spanking erection is common. It usually goes away once the pain begins. It does with me.

My erotic association with spanking is what motivated me to ask Mrs. Lion to spank me. She did it in BDSM scenes with me. It evolved into our current domestic discipline marriage. I don’t get hard before spankings anymore. Thinking about being spanked does turn me on. Being spanked is absolutely no fun at all. I work hard to avoid being spanked.

Adult spanking is very different than the more common parental spankings. For one thing, they are far more severe. That makes sense. Adults fully understand why they are being punished, and the punishment has to rise above any fantasy or erotic thoughts. In order to make the proper impression on my, Mrs. Lion has to make sure that she is causing me sufficient pain for me to realize that she is unhappy with my behavior. Adult spanking is a form of communication. Its purpose is to express unhappiness with something I’ve done in no uncertain terms. It also reminds me that I’ve granted my lioness the power to hurt me if she feels I need correction.

If a spanking isn’t strong enough to make me understand that it’s better to follow a rule than get punished, domestic discipline won’t work. Mrs. Lion has learned to make sure that I understand that breaking a rule is far worse than following it. That’s the entire point of domestic discipline. Punishment is unavoidable if I break a rule. I have a sore spot on each cheek to remind me to send that daily email.

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In: Domestic discipline, Spanking

I did it again. I forgot to send Mrs. Lion a morning email. Yes, I had an excuse. The website was having a problem. I fixed it, but in the process forgot to send Mrs. Lion her morning message. That means I’ll get a spanking tonight or tomorrow. Ugh. As of today (Wednesday), it’s been six days since my last paddling. I can’t believe that I forgot again.

Mrs. Lion has been helping me aim the syringe for Edex injections. On Tuesday night, she picked a location a little too close to the head of my penis. The result wasn’t a full erection. We were supposed to try again tonight, but Mrs. Lion has a policy of no sex on nights when I get punished. There’s a chance that she’s changed her mind about that. We did Edex and oral sex after my last spanking, and the result was a nice orgasm. Since I’ve had to use Trimix and now Edex, we’ve had to rethink the way we have sex.

While how we handle sex may change, domestic discipline is a constant in our marriage. We both agree that it continues to serve us well. Mrs. Lion is still not fully back in terms of her spankings. The last one was just five minutes, but her intensity and choice of tools were approaching the level she was operating at before we hit our disciplinary slump. I’m now required to make sure that she sets the timer to at least ten minutes.

I’m not looking forward to my punishment. Mrs. Lion is back to her old self in terms of spanking. I expect her to be particularly strict since I’ve repeated an offense less than a week since the last time she punished me for forgetting. As a rule, that usually means more time riding the spanking bench (fifteen instead of ten minutes), or more heavy wood paddles applied to my bottom or both.

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In: Domestic discipline
spanking paddle with his on business end and hers on handle

Our weekend was busy. Family visited from the East Coast. It was nice to see them again. Neither of us has any attachments here in the West. It was amazingly nice to reconnect. Mrs. Lion didn’t bother hiding any of the evidence of our kinks. The Hers and His paddle stayed in its place on the refrigerator door. Miscellaneous paddles were visible around the house if they cared to look. We had breakfast with them in the kitchen both Saturday and Sunday. Their chairs faced the fridge.

I don’t know if Mrs. Lion even thought of looking for evidence. I thought about it and decided that it just didn’t matter. Is that a sign of maturity? I think it might be. We’ve been in a domestic discipline relationship for at least five years now. If asked why there was a paddle on the fridge, I don’t think I would be embarrassed to explain. I can’t speak for Mrs. Lion, but I suspect she probably would be equally comfortable answering.

It isn’t that we don’t realize that what we do isn’t exactly mainstream. I think that we are both comfortable with what we do. Sure, it would feel odd to hear a relative say, “You really spank Lion?” Mrs. Lion would certainly smile and reply, “Yes.” No explanation. No hesitation. Where te conversation would go from there would depend on the questioner.

From my perspective, I’m comfortable with my role. I don’t believe that my masculinity or standing in other people’s eyes is affected by the fact that my wife spanks me. I suppose that writing this blog has given me many opportunities to analyze and consider my role. Mrs. Lion and I have a very happy marriage. We are faithful to each other and have unwavering love and trust. She is mine as much as I’m hers. Contrary to a lot of what you might read about domestic discipline, the devotion and caring don’t just flow from me to her.

It turns out that a disciplinary relationship is more of a conversation than a one-way flow of offense and retribution. Her goal has never been to train me to submission and unhesitating obedience. That is BDSM and fantasy. Domestic discipline is the establishment of sensible behavioral rules and their enforcement. Mrs. Lion never suggested that she be the dictator in the Lions’ den. Yes, she always has the last word. I am free to run things as I please, so long as she agrees.

Anyone who spends time with us sees the love and balance we share. I never feel oppressed. So what if others know that she spanks me when needed? We both agree that it works for us. I don’t care if someone is narrow-minded and chooses to stop knowing us if they are offended.

We don’t exactly advertise (except here) what we do. The paddle on the fridge can easily be interpreted as a sort of feminist joke. It’s not there as a conversation starter. It’s there to remind me to watch my step.

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In: Domestic discipline, Spanking
heart paddle on lion's butt

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the disciplinary relationship that Mrs. Lion and I have. I’ve gone through periods of fiercely defending that it is based on a real need to give my wife a strong voice in our marriage. At other times, I’ve acknowledged that there is a sexual turn-on when I think of her spanking me. There’s been a relationship between my general interest in sex and the frequency of  my spankings.

All of the above is true. Long before Mrs. Lion started using spanking as a punishment, she spanked me in BDSM scenes. Various partners have been spanking me for a very long time. All of those earlier spankings were in the context of scenes. This raises the question of exactly how spanking fits into our lives.

I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion would be just as happy if she didn’t need to spank me. She’s always said she doesn’t get any pleasure from beating my butt. She also says that she doesn’t mind doing it. She doesn’t like to be in charge. She prefers that I make most of the decisions. She also hated that I didn’t initiate sex. I’m OK with decision-making, but I have a real issue with initiating.

It’s clear that Mrs. Lion never wanted to wear the pants in the lions’ den, and she doesn’t. Nevertheless, I feel a strong need for her control. As I reflect on the subject, we could have gone about meeting this need in two ways. The first would be regular BDSM sessions with me bottoming. The other was what we ended up doing, establishing domestic discipline.

I’m not sure we made the best choice, but it’s way too late to change. Make no mistake, regardless of the sexual origins, we have a real disciplinary marriage. I think that Mrs. Lion still struggles with her role, but she soldiers on and is working on improving it.

It’s important for me to acknowledge that she is doing all this because it’s something I need. It isn’t about her. She doesn’t need to take on this role. I suspect that the same is true of other disciplinary wives. I also imagine that trouble occurs when the disciplined husband loses sight of this important fact. I believe that’s the reason Mrs. Lion has big trouble punishing me for upsetting her. That moves her role closer to her inner self. When she punishes me for not doing a chore, it’s a simple gotcha. I forget, I get spanked.

The problem with maintaining domestic discipline on the concrete rules level is that I tend to learn and stop breaking rules. A relatively new rule is the resumption of morning emails from me to Mrs. Lion. I forgot yesterday. Mrs. Lion caught me, and I was sentenced to a punishment spanking. It’s what she does. It’s what I asked her to do. I’ll probably forget a few more times. Based on our prior experience, I’ll forget less and less. Those spankings really work.

Mrs. Lion will need to find new things to catch me doing. It should be fairly easy if she decides to count the times I annoy her. She’s learned to snarl when I do. That’s a big step. It probably meets her need to let me know when I’m on thin ice. I sometimes don’t notice the growl. It’s a male thing, I guess. I don’t think it matters that much to her.

I’m fine with that. However, I think that given my need for control and spanking, she’s missing easy opportunities to catch me and punish me. Given my history, she’s also missing chances to change my behavior for the better. I don’t think it’s fair for me to say that she should spank me because it gives her a bigger megaphone in our marriage. I don’t think she wants one. I think that it is just another way to play her role. She isn’t punishing me to force me to take her more seriously. She’s punishing me because it’s part of a process I asked her to adopt. She isn’t turning into a strict disciplinarian. She’s just playing the game with a little more attention to detail.