edging

I asked for it. I let Mrs. Lion know that I like being teased. Now, she is much less likely to give me an orgasm even if I’ve been waiting for a long time. I’m pretty sure she won’t push me too far into the future. She likes making me ejaculate. On the other hand, she has considerable fun watching me humping air when she brings me right to the edge. She knows I love getting a blow job and has learned to effectively edge me with her mouth. That means I can’t assume that because she is using her mouth, she will let me come.

It’s important that she keeps me waiting. If she gets me off because I really want to ejaculate, I am effectively in control. If she demonstrates her authority by repeatedly edging me even though I’ve been waiting a long time, she is reinforcing a role.

What we do by practicing orgasm control is to turn what many people think is a natural instinctive activity into something that is consciously planned. It’s true that if we weren’t practicing male chastity, I might get more opportunities to ejaculate. There’s also a very good chance I wouldn’t.

Before we began all this, Mrs. Lion had lost interest in sex. It kind of tapered out over several years. As a result, I don’t think she thought about sex too much in terms of me. I had to hint very strongly in order to get her to jerk me off. I didn’t like that. I’ve always been terrible at initiating. I was even worse about asking for something just for me. As a result, she got me off about once a month. Even though she wasn’t aware of it, I took care of myself two or three times a week.

When I asked her to lock me up in a male chastity device, we made an agreement that she would do something sexual with me at least every other day. Of course, she did not agree to get me off every other day. All she agreed to do was tease me. I was told that I could never jerk off again. Mrs. Lion told me that it really bothered her that I could get myself off. Of course, it was easy for me to obey that requirement because she had me locked in a chastity device full-time. It only came off when she played with me.

In our case, by putting structure around something that people might think should be “natural”, we took care of a festering problem. Beginning enforced male chastity also improved our communication. When we also began a Female Led Relationship with Discipline, communication further improved on several levels.

The most important one, I think, was that Mrs. Lion was able to let me know how she felt and make sure I understood how I could make things better. As my disciplining wife, she had the duty to punish me when I did something I shouldn’t. In the beginning, this applied just to the rules she made. Later, as we both grew, I was also disciplined for annoying her or being rude to her.

I get spanked anytime Mrs. Lion feels I need it. The spanking is beneficial because it reinforces my desire to do what she wishes. But that’s not the real benefit. The real benefit is that Mrs. Lion has agreed to let me know anytime I do something that annoys her. This has been very difficult for her. She’s still working on being able to do this consistently.

Even though a lot of interest is expressed about our orgasm control and spanking, the real benefit is the way we’ve improved our communication. It’s interesting that this communication includes physical activity — edging and spanking — that assures we stay in close touch. There is much more to this than playing with my penis or swatting my bottom. I agree that those activities are things we like, but the real reason we keep them up year after year is that they help us get closer and grow.

Mrs. Lion commented in her post yesterday that if you want to see a man move fast tell him you’re going to give him a blow job. She’s right. When she told me to get into position, I didn’t waste a second. There’s no question about it, if we don’t have vaginal sex, oral sex is definitely my favorite. In fact, when we had vaginal sex I still liked oral better. Mrs. Lion is a virtuoso at it.

She often writes about her dilemma when deciding when to finally give me release. She’s right, sometimes I do complain if she gives me an orgasm too soon. How long should she make me wait? That’s a difficult question for both of us. Historically, my average wait over the last couple of years is just under seven days. We’ve gone through fairly long periods when it was just three or four days.

Recently, she hasn’t been able to get me very close to the edge some of the time. This is usually the first five or six days after I ejaculate. Sometimes, it takes her at least a week. I have no idea why I respond that way. There’s no obvious explanation. Even oral sex won’t get me up there. When I’m finally able to get to the edge or beyond, we both have a lot more fun.

Sunday was the magic day when I could reach the top of the curve. This is the time when Mrs. Lion frets about what to do next. I certainly get frustrated after repeated edging. I don’t believe that’s a good reason to take me out of my misery. I also don’t think there’s a formula to apply to decide when I finally get to ejaculate. From my perspective, as long as she’s willing to put in the effort, teasing me for days and days after I finally get that ability to reach the edge is a lot of fun for me. Before I get to that tipping point, I’m not all that interested in getting off. However, I really love the attention.

BDSM activities are a real aphrodisiac for me. We’ve learned that even though I like them, the clock that controls when I can reach the edge doesn’t seem to change even if we play. It does improve my general happiness even if it doesn’t make me want to ejaculate.

Sexual stimulation for me seems to be in two phases, well three if you count my refractory period. After the refractory period passes, stimulation gets me erect and I enjoy being masturbated. At some point during the stimulation, I lose the erection and my interest in being stimulated. This is a very frustrating phase for me. How long this phase lasts is variable. Sometimes, by the third day, I can be edged without a problem. Other times, like this past week I wasn’t able to reach the edge until the eighth day.

We haven’t tested whether BDSM activities change the day I can be edged. It might. The thing is, we need to acknowledge that I have this pre-edging phase and make the best of it. It is fun for me. I love the attention. I just need to accept the fact that every time I’m sexually stimulated I may not get all the way to the edge of orgasm. I know that Mrs. Lion accepts it, now I have to.

She’s right when she says that I’m not broken. I don’t have any idea why I do this, but apparently this is the way my body works now. Obviously, I would prefer to be orgasmic right from the day after I have my ejaculation. I’m grateful that Mrs. Lion can make me hard and is willing to stimulate me without the incentive of frustrating me.

I like the frustration. I’ve learned to love the way it feels to be brought to the edge over and over and then left hanging. Is this sexual masochism? Perhaps. Whatever it is, after more than six years of it, I consider this perfectly normal and what I really like. I may get tired of hand jobs but I don’t ever tire of Mrs. Lion’s wonderful sexual attention.

While I did take a shower earlier than usual, we didn’t play any earlier. Lion was snoozing a bit while watching TV and I hate to wake him. However, the news is not all bad. Sometime around 9, I told him to lay across the bed for some oral attention.

If you recall, I love playing with my food. Based on the purring I heard, Lion loved what I was doing. Of course, I also had the penis-o-meter, which raised and lowered in approval and disapproval. There wasn’t much disapproval. My biggest problem was that my hair was getting in the way. It had to be my hair because Lion is smooth as a baby’s butt down there. A few weeks ago I felt like I had a mustache. No more.

I didn’t set out with a goal. I rarely do. I didn’t want to edge him four times, for example. I just take things as they come. At one point, I thought Lion was starting to lose it but then he regained his harder erection. I struggled with whether or not to point out that he’s not as hard as I think he should be. Lion is quick to jump to the “I’m broken” conclusion. [Lion — I could feel that at times I wasn’t fully erect. She’s right. It worried me.]

A few weeks ago, I took Lion from flaccid all the way to orgasm without stopping along the way. It’s rare that I do that, especially with my mouth. Once I figured out how to edge him orally, I’ve been trying to do it all the time. Last night, I got particularly good at it. I got him so close to the edge I thought he was going to lose it. And there wasn’t even any danger of a ruined orgasm. I timed it perfectly. You know sometimes you do something and think you’d never be able to do that again in a million years? That’s how I felt the first time. And then the second time I swear I got him even closer.

I gave him less than a minute to calm down. I started right back in with little bursts of sucking. I didn’t want to lose momentum. I wanted him perched right on the edge. I don’t know how many times I actually shoved him toward the precipice. Eventually, I let him go. There wasn’t much in the line of cream filling, just Lion trying to catch his breath. He informed me a little while later that it had been six days. That’s not a long wait, by any means. I wasn’t going for a long wait.

Sure, I was thinking I should leave him hanging again, but then I got him closer and closer. And yes, I could have gotten him very close and still left him hanging, but giving him orgasms is the fun part for me. You might even say it was my reward for a job well done.

Obvious comment of the day: It’s easier to write a sex blog when you’re horny. Aren’t you glad I’m such an astute observer of myself? For the last couple of days, I couldn’t get it up. Well, I did sorta when Mrs. Lion gave me a blow job. I was apparently at half-mast. That’s the first time in my memory that I did that. The next two days I really couldn’t get it up at all. I had chemical help. On one of those days, I tried generic Viagra (a real prescription from a real drugstore) and the next generic Cialis (also legit). They didn’t help. Then on Sunday morning with no apparent motivation, I got fairly hard. This gives me hope that if Mrs. Lion chooses to play with me reasonably early today, we may have good results.

I wonder if the problem is simply either the hour we played or that my refractory period has gotten dramatically longer. It wouldn’t be too surprising if both are true. Also, on Saturday Mrs. Lion gave me a Brazilian waxing. I didn’t achieve an erection during that even though she tried to give me one, but I do consider losing hair sexy. Maybe that was foreplay for me. It might be. I think it counts.

Even though Mrs. Lion dislikes doing it, I love the results when she waxes me. Skin looks better than hair to me. Every so often some nude photographs show up on Twitter, posted by people who like to take pictures at nude beaches. I definitely find the women with shaved pubes more appealing than bushy ones. Fortunately for me, hairlessness appears to be the current trend in personal grooming. I’ve also noticed that those beach shots that include men show that they too get rid of their pubic hair.

I know that some guys think of losing body hair as a way of being submissive. Some women have commented that hairless men are more boy than man. That prejudice seems to be disappearing. Mrs. Lion is indifferent to the status of my body hair. I’m the one who prefers it missing. For the record, she doesn’t remove her pubic hair. It’s light and looks fine to me.

In her post yesterday, she was musing about giving me a Brazilian every month and removing the other hair every other month. I have no objection to that, of course. The only problem is that what grows back is very fine and scraggly. I think it just looks messy. She doesn’t think it’s worth wasting the money on getting professional waxing. If she can do it why spend money on paying someone else to do it? I think it’s much nicer when she does it anyway. We’ve made the investment in equipment. I just hate to see her doing something she doesn’t like, especially when it involves me.

I’m lucky that hair removal is the only part of lion care that she considers a chore. I would be devastated if she felt that way about edging me. For reasons I will never understand, Mrs. Lion really enjoys the flavor of semen. She’s made it crystal clear that it’s worth all the work it takes to get me to produce some for her pleasure. I like making it for her. It’s a definite win/win. Sadly for me, she’s perfectly happy rationing this treat. She is fine with waiting a week or more between snacks. Of course, I’m perfectly happy to provide it more frequently. That’s not gonna happen.

I’m very happy she likes it so much. She doesn’t want to share it. That’s very good! I don’t share her taste in this particular snack. I don’t like it when she decides to be generous and feed it to me. She says it’s good for me. I think it’s better for her.