We’ve been together for 17 years. Seven of them have been spent with our FLRD and orgasm control in place. As Michael (collardmichaelcom.blog) pointed out in a comment, we don’t seem to get angry at each other. It’s true we get annoyed. I growl and Mrs. Lion snarls. Since we’ve added domestic discipline to our marriage, there is less snarling and more spanking. I don’t want to give the wrong impression. I can’t remember more than two times I’ve been spanked for annoying Mrs. Lion. I expected much more frequent visits with her paddle to manage things I do that piss her off. That hasn’t happened.
It’s tempting to digress into the why-I’m-not-punished-for-pissing-her-off discussion; that belongs in a post all by itself. The simple truth is that things don’t escalate very far with us. I think we both had enough bad experiences in our lives to give us a sense of proportion. I can’t speak for Mrs. Lion, but for me, it’s pretty simple: is it worth risking the most wonderful thing in my life for some issue? I’ve never been able to answer yes to that question.
It could be that Mrs. Lion is a very easy-going, good-natured woman. Her good nature sometimes worries me because I know that there may be things going on under the surface she is reluctant to express. We’ve talked about this many times and she promises to not let things simmer. This seems to be very difficult for her. I’m not sure why. She has to know that she can’t lose me by growling at me or spanking me. I guess there’s a nagging fear under the surface that the little things will build up and I could lose her.
Some psychologists claim that couples who don’t fight have unhealthy relationships. Their theory is that there must be conflict in any relationship. If the conflict isn’t brought to the surface, it can fester and eventually destroy the couple. This sort of thinking was a very big deal in the 70s. The idea was that every feeling should be expressed, evaluated, and resolved. It didn’t matter how trivial. This is a very tiring way to live. We just don’t want to go that route.
I tend to express my feelings. I don’t think it’s a mystery how I feel about anything. This isn’t true of my lioness. However, I think she has gotten much better at letting me know when things bother her. This is probably the main reason we’ve never fought. She’s used to me growling and knows how to manage it. In her role as my disciplining wife, while she has the tools to express her feelings, she’s been slow to use them.
I don’t think she believes she really can. Even if she doesn’t, over the years we’ve worked out our own style of communication that satisfies us. We’ve both been open in our posts. They accurately reflect how we’re feeling at the time we write them. We’ve assiduously avoided any whitewashing. With us, it’s pretty much what you see is what you get.
I’m still committed to helping Mrs. Lion extend her disciplinary power. I know there are times that she just stuffs her feelings to avoid any growls or snarls. I keep hoping any snarl opportunity will convert to spanking. That would be best for me, I think. (Famous last words!)