Lion’s Journal (Page 2)

Male Chastity, at least wearing a chastity device, is a sort of sexual game. It’s exciting and fun for the man wearing the device. The rules are simple: He gets locked into the device (or she locks him in). She has the keys. He can’t get any sexual pleasure until she unlocks him. Most people who do this play for a day or a weekend at a time. While he is locked up, she keeps him as horny as she can. Guys love it.

penis in chastity device

Most of the fantasies are a lot more complex. The reality is that simple. Some men, like me, end up in a chastity device for a very long time. At some point it stops being a game and becomes something more.

The key power exchange, whether for a weekend or forever, is the transfer of sexual control to the keyholder. Most men masturbate their entire lives. We jerk off when we are horny and a partner isn’t available. Yes, we prefer sex with our partners, but a hand will do if one isn’t available at the moment.

Our partners are sexual chocolate. We can live without it, but much prefer it if we can get it. The key is that we don’t depend on our partners for sex. We just prefer it. Male chastity changes that. The chastity device makes masturbation very difficult. The game of wearing the device makes it dumb to defeat the hardware. For most of us it’s the first time in our lives that we can’t take care of business ourselves.

Mrs. Lion didn’t know I jerked off until I asked her to lock me into a chastity device. I told her that I had been masturbating two or three times a week. She wasn’t that interested in sex and was either giving me a handjob or oral sex about once a month. Apparently she thought that was the only sex I was getting. She was surprised and a little upset to learn that I jerked off.

She agreed to lock me in the male chastity device and also made me agree to never jerk off again. I was surprised she felt so strongly about it. To this day, almost seven years later, I haven’t jerked off. She won’t even let me do it under her supervision. Chastity device or no chastity device, it’s paws off for me.

Unknowingly, we stumbled on to the most important benefit of male chastity. It wasn’t the power exchange or the teasing. It had nothing to do with the popular fantasies. It was much more basic than that: I am completely dependent on Mrs. Lion for sexual release. I can’t ejaculate unless she does what it takes to make me come. She lets me make myself hard if I want, but that’s it. If she won’t get me off, I don’t get to ejaculate.

Most women don’t think of this as particularly profound. Many women don’t masturbate, or if they do, it is because they don’t have a sexual partner. Men masturbate whether or not they are in a sexual relationship. Many of us don’t think of jerking off as sex. It’s just a release of tension. That’s why becoming totally dependent on someone else for release is such a big deal.

I wore a chastity device continuously for three years. It only came off when Mrs. Lion wanted to tease me or make me ejaculate. She made sure she had full sexual control of my penis. The device came off for a while because I had some surgeries. More recently, I’m not locked up most of the time. It doesn’t matter. She broke me of the habit of jerking off.

Regardless of any sexual games that might be played using male orgasm control, when practiced the way we do it, a new physical bond is formed. We have always been in love and will stay together as long as we live. That was true while I was jerking off. Now, my total dependency on Mrs. Lion for sexual release brings us closer on a physical level.

She knows  I need release and whether or not she is interested in sex for herself, knows that I depend on her. She also knows it is fun for both of us if she teases me and makes me wait to ejaculate. Aside from the fun aspect, it serves to remind us both of her sexual control. That control is the real basis of male chastity and, as it turns out for us, a great benefit.

I am writing this on Thursday afternoon. All-day I’ve been feeling pretty good. It’s still too early to know whether or not my mysterious illness is going to strike again. It’s an intestinal vampire. It seems to sleep all day and then creep out as it gets dark. Oddly enough, it tends to leave me alone while I sleep. This is probably due to the fact that I use the medicine the doctor gave me just before I go to bed. If I stay reasonably pain-free later, maybe I can convince Mrs. Lion to do something sexual with me. I know it’s way too soon for an orgasm and I’m probably not ready for one anyway.

Based on her post yesterday (“He Really Did Ask For It“), she’s more aware of how I affect her. That’s good. Well, good for us but maybe not so good for my rear end. I’m not trying to find new ways to get spanked. I know it seems that way. I’m also not looking for ways for Mrs. Lion to be more outwardly dominant. Mind you, I wouldn’t mind if she was, but that isn’t the point of this. I really want to know when she’s upset with me. I also want her to help me learn to avoid doing things she doesn’t like.

I know it’s difficult for many to believe, but settling these upsetting situations with a spanking actually clears the slate. There’s a sense of closure and just resolution when the punishment is done. I don’t know if Mrs. Lion has articulated this, but I do get the sense that by spanking me she is resolving a feeling that might otherwise fester under the surface.

The other day when she spanked me, she let me know it was for two offenses. She told me when she was finished spanking me for forgetting the coffee pot. Then she announced I was being punished for being snarky. I took all that in. The second part of the spanking was if anything, more severe than the first. I felt punished for upsetting her. I hope she felt vindicated.

It turns out that for us, punishment, physical punishment does more than satisfy some kinky need for spanking. It goes beyond the idea of dominance and submission. It’s true that both kinks are involved. They are the match that lights the disciplinary flame. I don’t think either of us thinks about BDSM or sex when I’m being punished. It’s about sending a message. Of course, there are other ways to send this kind of message. DD is what works for us.

It’s not a simple cause-and-effect process. It’s complex and emotional. It is easy to define what we do. I don’t think either of us really understands why it works. All we know is that it’s something that works for us. I’m very glad it does.

Mrs. Lion finally spanked me on Tuesday night. She did not hold back. I was yelping from the very start. I have a sore spot on the left side of my butt that hurts when I sit and even when I am in bed. I don’t bruise easily, so there is no mark. Mrs. Lion made a note to try harder next time. Gee, thanks.

spahing spoon on Lion's butt
Mrs. Lion used this paddle to spank me. It is the chechin spanking spoon. It’s made from very dense Chechen wood. This is one of the meanest paddle we own.

Part of the spanking was for interrupting and being “snarky”. I suppose I was. Mrs. Lion has a habit of using pronouns before she gives the noun it refers to. She will start a conversation with, “She said that she did this thing right, but didn’t. How dumb!”

Who did? I often interrupt to understand who she is talking about. The same was true of the prescriptions she brought home. She talked about “this one” and “that one”. I wanted to know what she got and how much each cost. I got impatient when she wouldn’t say. This is why I got the additional swats.

Mrs. Lion says that I have to wait and eventually she will tell me what she is talking about. In all the time we have been together, I can’t remember one time she actually did that. I think she assumes I know what she is talking about. I find this frustrating. I do much better when I know the referent of the pronoun. I also get frustrated when I ask a question and the response doesn’t seem to be what I expected.

I’m not trying to justify what I did. It’s fair to punish me for not being patient and waiting for the meaning to come clear. It’s very likely I can learn if Mrs. Lion consistently “corrects” me. Her communication style is different from mine. It’s certainly fair to teach me to accept it.

We haven’t done anything sexual since my orgasm last week. I’m not complaining. I imagine it’s because Mrs. Lion has been feeling under the weather. It’s difficult for her to do physical things around the house and last weekend she had a bunch of chores that caused her knees and other body parts to hurt. I have been feeling horny. That doesn’t mean I’m ready to have an orgasm again. It’s only been three days since I came.

My stomach problems continue. The doctor wants another stool sample. Mrs. Lion was overjoyed to hear that. NOT! I half-jokingly suggested I wear diapers to avoid “accidents”. Mrs. Lion said that would be worse than accidents. Her position was that cleaning me up after making a mess in a diaper would be really gross. I agree. Enough about my digestive tract.

If Mrs. Lion is serious about enforcing things I do that annoy her, I think I’ll be looking forward to frequent spankings. The only way to avoid this is for me to think very carefully before I say anything. Given that nasty sore spot I’m sitting on, I’ll be very careful, at least while it still hurts.

After a couple of days of posting about punishment and remembering to follow my rules, you’d think that being good would be at the top of my mind. No, not me. When we got up yesterday and Mrs. Lion went into the kitchen to make breakfast, she discovered that the coffee pot wasn’t ready to be used. I forgot to set it up. That’s pretty amazing considering I had written about remembering to do it the very day I forgot it. Go figure. You know what happened next. Yup, the paddle came out with the usual, unpleasant results.

I honestly thought that I had set the pot up. I don’t know how I managed to screw this up. Maybe too much time had passed since the last time Mrs. Lion reminded me. Apparently, there is an expiration of the effects delivered by a spanking. It’s been weeks since I made this mistake. I am very sure that I didn’t do this on purpose. I simply forgot. At least I think I forgot. I don’t intentionally break rules in order to get spanked. Mrs. Lion is more than willing to spank me if I ask her.

Even though my stomach is not completely better, I’m very sure I’m on the way back. My sex drive has returned. I missed it while it was gone. Even though I’ve had the rule to be naked when home for many years, more than 15, the quarantine has really stepped up its meaning to me. Except for very short periods of time when I had to go to a doctor, I have been completely naked for three months. It sure cuts down on the laundry. While we are traveling down memory lane, it’s been more than 25 years since I’ve had pubic hair. I remember thinking after I first started removing it that perhaps one day I would completely forget how I looked with pubic hair. I can honestly say that I have no memory of my former, hairy self. I don’t even have a picture.

Over time changes become fixtures. For example, my basic rule to wait for Mrs. Lion to eat first has been in force for way over five years. I can’t remember the last time I broke that rule. I believe the last occasion was because I didn’t correctly see what she was doing. I thought she was eating, but she wasn’t. I wonder if Mrs. Lion’s consistent reinforcement of her coffeepot rule will make that second nature for me. I’m certainly going to find out.

Yesterday (” A Red Bottom Makes A Clean Slate“), I wrote about the fact that Mrs. Lion doesn’t discipline for offenses that annoy her. As usual, she read my post and told me it was good. She didn’t say a word about what I discussed. I had hoped that we could start figuring out why she is completely consistent about some things and the opposite about other, more important stuff. I think it’s a serious issue for us.

Things are moving along here. Mrs. Lion is working from home and has developed a rhythm that apparently feels good for her. I’m bored and hope my furlough will end soon. Now that the weather is warming up I’m thinking of getting out more. I’m also hoping our favorite Chinese restaurant reopens soon.