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In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Male Control (training), Rewards
six of hearts
Mrs. Lion picked a card. It was a Six. That’s how long I will have to wait until my next orgasm.

(Saturday, July 12, 2014) Last night Mrs. Lion had a surprise for me. If you read her post yesterday, you know that she created cards with wait times on them. I didn’t read her post until this morning because I was busy at work yesterday and last night we went out to dinner then she sprung her surprise.  She showed me the cards. She also had me look at each one so that I could see they all didn’t say, “1 year”. Actually there was only one card that had a long wait. It was for 21 days — three weeks. She didn’t like that card. I was less disturbed by it, but I really wished she wouldn’t pick it. Luckily, she drew six days. I can do that.

It’s funny that she created the cards at pretty much the same time that I had decided it was fine if she didn’t give me fixed times. This sort of thing often happens with us. We each express a preference, then go away and think about what the other said. In a short time each of us has agreed to the other’s idea. We’re back where we started. The thing is that there is merit in both ideas. Her original concept of not telling me when I will get to orgasm makes me wonder each time she teases me if this is the one. There’s a lot to be said for suspense. The fixed time, on the other hand, adds an interesting dimension to things. As she wrote in her post, I can earn time off by doing thoughtful things.  Though she didn’t mention it, I could have to wait longer if I displease her or break a rule. From her perspective, not telling me is the easiest. She can act on the spur of the moment and always keep me guessing. She doesn’t need to do any bookkeeping about days off or added to my time. Managing the fixed time requires more planning and keeping track of added and lost days.

From my perspective, I think both are fine. It could be fun (interesting, anyway) to work with a deadline and it being changed based on my behavior. On the other hand, simply not knowing if today is the day has its own special appeal. Tom Allen wrote that his wife will tell him that he can wait another week. He waits and then she tells him he can wait another. That sort of mind game is a nice activity for people engaged in power exchange.

What do I really want? I have been asking myself that question for a while now. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want to see how long I can go without coming. I just don’t care about that. I want to have Mrs. Lion control if and when I orgasm. Beyond that, I really don’t have any hard and fast ideas. I want her to play with me and tease me. I like when she restrains me and spanks me. I like the shock collar when she uses it. I love being able to give her orgasms. I’ve missed that for a long time. I really like our much improved level of communication. I like wearing my cage. It is a continuous reminder of her control.

That’s another thing I have been thinking about. I’ve been reading what other caged males think of their chastity devices. A significant number are very concerned that the device make it impossible for them to escape or orgasm while wearing it. I know that the most popular chastity fantasy always includes inescapable devices and absolute inability to orgasm while wearing them. I have that fantasy too. But after testing endless devices and interviewing device makers, I know that while you may not be able to get your penis out of a device, you can almost always find a way to get off. The only real life devices that have a chance against a determined male with tools and a vibrator are the ones that include spikes that make erections unbearably painful. Ironically, many of us males are capable of orgasm and ejaculation without an erection. It’s happened to me a few times in my life.

I like to think that I can’t escape my Jail Bird or orgasm with it on. I know if I really want to, I can get out and can get off with a vibrator. It doesn’t bother me to know that. Getting out will hurt and will make me feel badly afterward. The same is true of a vibrator. I never really liked being stimulated by  one. I really don’t think about cheating. It isn’t a moral decision. I just don’t. I asked Mrs. Lion to be my keyholder. Why in the world would I want to defeat what I really want? Even when my device was really painful to wear due to some chafing, it never occurred to me to try to get out. After all, I worked very hard to get in.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Long, long ago before the Internet, before the telephone, before trains and planes, people needed to communicate when they were not physically together. This was accomplished via snail mail. Letters were how romances started and blossomed, families shared news, and people stayed in touch. These letters were usually quite long and involved a lot of thought on the part of the sender. Technology changed all that. The phone and the Internet replaced personal correspondence for most of us. You might be thinking that the Internet brought written communications back; it did but not in the same way as before. Most email, text, tweets, Facebook messages, etc. are written quickly and sent without another thought. Before technology stepped in, it could take days to compose, edit and rewrite a letter before mailing it. You may be wondering what this has to do with forced male chastity; I’m getting to that.

One of the most amazing outcomes of my being caged turns out to be this blog. It started out as an alternative to the fantasy-based “information” that proliferates on the Web. Hopefully we are meeting that goal. Mrs. Lion and I are getting an unexpected benefit: the exercise of writing a daily post on chastity has become an opportunity to see into each other’s mind and emotions. By sharing our lives with you, we are also conducting a dialog with each other. This dialog as you know, is very intimate and touches on much more than just caging my penis.

We spend a lot of time thinking about what each other writes and what we write every day. Sometimes our posts become a conversation about topics we have never been able to articulate out loud. It feels to me like a much deeper, more emotionally true conversation. Could we do this face-to-face just talking? I suppose we could, but I don’t think I would be able to articulate what I want to say at the speed of talk. Writing here allows me to stop and consider what I am saying. I go back and edit. Sometimes I throw complete posts away. I know Mrs. Lion does the same.

Does that mean you are eavesdropping on our intimate, lovers’ conversations? No, not at all. For me, it means that I am sharing with you, a trusted friend, my feelings and knowledge on this subject. My most trusted friend, Mrs. Lion is also a reader. We have both worried that maybe this is too dull and you aren’t going to get value for spending time here reading. Mrs. Lion is concerned that she is repeating herself. I have the same concern as well. But I don’t think either of us can really change what we want to say. We’ve learned that for us, forced chastity is much more than sexual control. It is a tool that requires us to actively consider and act on our sexual needs and desires. I can’t just withdraw and ignore intimacy. Mrs. Lion knows that I can’t even get an erection without her help. It brings our sexual relationship into sharp focus. For me it also allows me to experience surrender of control. That is a very big deal. An even bigger deal is that Mrs. Lion is willing to accept the burden of providing that control. And, thanks largely to our blog, we discuss what’s going on every single day.

I know that not everyone who takes up forced male chastity will have the same experience as ours. I am pretty sure that many people share our practical and emotional challenges. Your comments continue to provide us with helpful information that enriches our experience. In my opinion this is all happening because every day Mrs. Lion and I bring our chastity and sexual lives into focus so we can write to you. Thank you.

 

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In: Lion's Journal
reverse cowgirl sex position
This is reverse cowgirl. In this position, both of us can freely thrust. This is my absolute favorite!

We have just returned from a long July Fourth weekend camping trip. Well, no tents or bedrolls, just our large RV. Mrs. Lion calls it a “camper”. I think of it as a luxury hotel on wheels that we tow with our truck. If you recall, I got a set of bed restraints for use in said camper. We used them once earlier this season. This time there were no restraints but a great deal of activity. My 12 day wait was up on Friday.True to her word, after making me wait hours and hours, she had me lie face down on the bed. She warmed me up with a hand spanking that had me hard in seconds. She followed that with a 1-inch-thick rubber paddle from my extreme pain collection. It had never been used on me. I used it on several sweet bottoms to their screams and later delight. Since we were at a state park, I did all my screaming into a pillow. Wow that thing smarts. Mrs. Lion wasn’t holding back. She made sure I was nice and red before she asked me to roll over (my favorite lion trick to perform).

Once on my back, she teased me very close to the edge a couple of times, then as promised, rode me reverse cowgirl. Oh I love that.! More interestingly to me, Mrs. Lion was very wet and ready from the first instant. Her sleeping libido must have awakened. That was such a treat! It didn’t take long for me to finish. Mrs. Lion lay on her back and told me to clean her up. I did a very good job, I think. She came at least twice and I had a great taste treat. I could smell her on my face for hours later. Yum!

This was amazing sex for both of us. Before I was locked up our sex life was very one way. Mrs. Lion would give me a handjob now and then.  On rarer occasions I would masturbate her. Not inspiring. Now, after my longest wait, twelve days, we had the best sex we have had in many years. I’m convinced that my wait turned out to be as erotic for Mrs. Lion as it was for me. It’s worth waiting if we can both be so happy.

After we finished, Mrs. Lion told me that my next orgasm would be in five days (Wednesday, July 9). I was glowing from the sex and thought that was a fine idea. Saturday we did touristy things and had a pleasant, if-not-romantic-day. Sunday was pretty much the same until that evening I mentioned that we shared very little affection the past two days. That’s unusual for us. We are always very affectionate. We got ready for bed. Mrs. Lion had a surprise for me.

She unlocked me and played with me, edging me a couple of times. Then she edged me once with her mouth. The second time she didn’t stop. I warned her that I was about to come. She went faster. I came. She said that she decided she didn’t get to taste me on Friday and wanted her snack. She said it doesn’t change anything. Does that mean I get to come yet again on Wednesday? I will have to wait and see.

July Fourth was the best ever! I feel that Mrs. Lion and I are turning each other on again. The fact that she was so wet and ready is a dramatic change. My long (to me) twelve day wait made me extremely excitable. I got hard instantly when she removed my cage. If waiting 12 days or longer can bring the kind of excitement we shared this weekend, then I will be very happy to be tree-humping horny as long as Mrs. Lion likes.

By:
In: Advice to caged males, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Control (training), Punishment, Sex
squeeze technique
The squeeze technique, originally described by Masters and Johnson is an effective way to stop an orgasm. Used in conjunction with tease and deny, it can help the male have more conscious control over when he orgasms.

Most of us (males) at one time or another have wished we could “hold off” to let our partner have her orgasm.  We’ve tried to think about math problems, sports scores, the weather, anything but sex. Usually we have been unsuccessful in our efforts. Until very recently I never thought I could really control when I come, much less prevent myself from coming altogether. However, as a caged male, it might be useful to know how to do this.

As wait times between orgasm grow, our keyholders may well grow impatient at the loss of the use of their toys: our cocks. Also, since tease and deny is an important part of the forced male chastity regimen, it would be more convenient if we lose our hair triggers so that accidents would be less likely to happen. All this makes sense to me, but I’m still not a fan. However, like other caged males, I don’t get a vote.

So what is this all about? Apparently, it is possible to exercise zen-like control over the orgasm reflex. Other caged males have done it. Tantric yoga also features male orgasm control exercises. It must be possible. The question is how to do it? In a prior post I mentioned using punishment for “accidents” to provide this training. Mrs. Lion said she will not beat that into me. I expect that aside from being distasteful to her, it isn’t very helpful for me either. We need a different strategy.

First, let’s consider the situations where I will need to exercise this control. There are two: when Mrs. Lion wants to ride me but does not want me to orgasm, and when she is teasing me to the edge and wants me to assure that I won’t have an accidental ruined orgasm. My initial thinking was to consider a lion “accident” the same way you consider a puppy’s accident on the rug. By punishing the puppy, she learns to hold her bladder and go outside. Well, that doesn’t really work well for the puppy. For me, all it would do would be to make me even more unhappy I failed.

We know that some tantric practitioners can voluntarily prevent orgasm no matter what the stimulus. That means theoretically I can do it too. But how? When I feel an orgasm coming on it is overpowering. I breathe hard and make some sounds that Mrs. Lion likes. She can read the signs and stops just short of the point of no return when she teases me. I don’t feel that I have any control to delay it at that point. But what about when I feel it building up. I have at least five seconds between that indescribable tingle and the point of no return. Is there something that I can do to distract me and prevent the accident?

I am very sure being trained to only orgasm when given permission isn’t important to Mrs. Lion. It probably sounds like one more “chore” in her lion training. In fact, for many males this may not even be something your keyholder cares about. In some cases, a keyholder will want frequent intercourse and needs to feel her male’s penis inside her. This is complicated if he has an orgasm date that is still in the future. In cases like this it would be helpful if he could hold off until his times. In vanilla relationship it is always nice if the male can wait until his partner orgasms. However, would that vanilla partner be willing to help her male hold off long enough to satisfy her?

Let’s assume that it makes sense to learn to hold off. Masters and Johnson developed a technique that can effectively help a male stop an orgasm. It was developed to help train males not to ejaculate prematurely. In our context, it is an easy, effective way to help the male gain some control. During a tease and deny session, it’s an interesting variation that will serve to frustrate and educate at that same time. This is something I would like to experience if only to find out how it feels. The image above explains this simple concept.

Another easy technique is to use a method to desensitize the penis so that much more stimulation is needed to get off. This is easily done with desensitizing creams (usually Lidocaine 4 or 5 percent). A small amount applied on the underside of the penis, just below the head can work wonders. Apply and wait 15 minutes before sex. Voila! It may take some experimentation to get the right amount. Too much and he won’t be able to get or stay hard; too little and, well you know.

Another fairly simple technique is to simply wear out the male’s orgasm reaction. I mentioned this earlier in the post. It’s fun and very effective. It will take some experimentation to work it out, but once you do, your male won’t be able to orgasm at all and you can have all the fun you want.

From my perspective, the most important benefit of learning orgasm control is that it is yet another way the keyholder has taken control of her male; caged or uncaged. I have had a sort of academic interest in this. If Mrs. Lion wants to try, of course I will do my best to learn. If she doesn’t, it’s fine with me. There may be an occasional accident for which I do expect some discipline. But she needn’t expend any energy training me this way for my benefit. This is one thing she should try only if it pleases her.