By:
In: Lion's Journal

My perception of my chastity and Mrs. Lion’s are very different. It’s impossible for me to miss this gap when I read our blog. I write that I am surrendering control and Mrs. Lion seems to be more comfortable taking charge. I read that Mrs. Lion is feeling uncertain of what she is doing and that supporting my forced chastity and power exchange is hard, unfun, work. She writes that she does it because she loves me and knows it is something that makes me happy. I understand that. I love making Mrs. Lion happy. We have been head-over-heels in love for about 12 years now.

But if Mrs. Lion is making me wait, spanking me, anally playing with me, etc. because I want it, who is really in control? In some sense it has to be me. She does things I say I like. At the same time she wonders about me liking it. How can I “like” pain? “But if Lion likes it…” So, if I say tomorrow morning that I hate spanking, does that mean Mrs. Lion stops? What if I decide I don’t want to be locked in a chastity cage? Does she unlock me?

This is where intentions start becoming important. If Mrs. Lion actually wants me locked up and she actually wants to spank me because it reinforces her control, I know that the answer to those questions will be, “Absolutely not, my pet.” But if she does all this as a service to me, why shouldn’t she stop if I say I am tired of it?

When we started, I asked her to take control and I explicitly said that I can not withdraw consent for all of this. I said that she is in control and what happens is out of my paws and in hers. But if she doesn’t really get any value out of the control, is there any incentive to refuse my requests to stop?

In my mind, I have surrendered and have no expectation that I can stop the spanking, locking, anal play, and other uncomfortable activities associated with the power exchange. It’s important to me that I can honestly believe that no matter how much whining or grumbling I do that things will not change. I don’t want control. The problem is that Mrs. Lion doesn’t either. She’s made that clear.

I know that doesn’t mean she will stop. She won’t. But she has no real reason to continue if I am unhappy with her doing it. In my reality the reason she would continue is that she wants to train me and wants me to continue to understand that she is in charge of me sexually. In my reality, she spanks me because she wants to make a point or to play with me because I like it. But she sees no reason not to do whenever she wants. In my reality Mrs. Lion wants me to wait to orgasm so I learn she owns them as well as the rest of me.  My reality is very exciting to me.

Clearly, we see things very differently. Some might say I should just be grateful she is making my fantasies come true. In fact I am deeply grateful. But there is a catch. My fantasies are about loss of control. Mrs. Lion is doing all the things I said I wanted. The uncomfortable question is whether she will continue even if I no longer want them? In my reality there is no question. She will continue because she chooses to.

I suspect we are far from unique in this respect. I’ve known lots of top/bottom couples over the years. I can’t think of any that stayed in sync in terms of their top/bottom fantasies. As a result, most of them parted ways. I know that Mrs. Lion and I are in no danger of that happening. Our relationship isn’t based on top/bottom stuff. It’s based on love and respect. That’s wonderful. But it does beg the question of how to manage our differences.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. It seems to me that we have to live in each other’s reality. I have to work hard to provide the vanilla affection and sexual attention she needs. She has to assume the role of my loving-but-firm keyholder. Even though she has no reason to continue if I want to stop, to live in my reality, she has to firmly refuse. For my reality to work, I need to be stuck in this cage no matter what. I have to accept spanking, etc. even if I truly learn to hate it. It’s what I want, even if I stop wanting it. Does that make sense? It does to me. I hope it does to Mrs. Lion.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex
lion penis in new, shorter catge
My shortened cage came yesterday. It is much shorter than the old one. Click the image for a larger color image. Click here to view my old Jail Bird and this new one.

Mrs. Lion has been very kind to me. She hasn’t made me wait very long between most of my orgasms (see orgasm wait times on my Lion’s Adventure page. The line chart tells the story. Most of the time I have had to wait only a short time (three to five days) between orgasms. Lately that time has lengthened. My last wait was nine days and currently I am waiting twelve days. Now this isn’t a giant sacrifice for a caged male. Many routinely wait a month or more between releases. I’m not complaining. One keyholder commented to me that I come more times in a month than her male gets to come in a year. Lucky lion! Regardless, now that I have one more day to wait, I am humping trees!

There appear to be two major schools of thought about forced male chastity. One group wants to go longer and longer without orgasm. The goal appears to be indefinite waiting. Why? Who knows? By the way this is the wish of the caged males, not necessarily the keyholders. That’s not to say that a good number of keyholders want to keep their males orgasm-free for long periods. I know that’s a big component of this school. The second school seems to be the escape artists. This is a group of males who want to be locked up just to see if they can find a way to orgasm without being released. This group is almost entirely made up of single males who have taken on this hobby. It’s expensive and can be very frustrating, but for them it is a nice substitute for a sex life.

The first group, I call them long-termers, is most interesting to me. When I read what they write, it’s hard to separate the myth from reality, but it is very clear that being made to wait a long time does change them. The most interesting change which is reported by nearly all of them, is that they begin to substitute their keyholders’ orgasms for their own. When the keyholder gets to come, either with the help of the male or alone, the caged male seems to get a similar satisfaction to having an orgasm himself.

The longest I have been made to wait, until this week, has been nine days. During that time, I can’t say that I felt a transfer of Mrs. Lion’s sexual pleasure to substitute for my own. I do get hard inside my cage while I stimulate her. That has been true even when I was waiting just a couple of days. I love to get her off. But her orgasm didn’t feel to me like I was having one too.

I can say that the longer I have to wait, the more desperate I get to have that orgasm. I don’t walk around wanting to hump trees, but I feel a genuine longing for that wonderful release. I am pretty sure that if I weren’t frequently teased, that desperation would fade over time. But with regular teasing, my next orgasm is never far from my thoughts. If I were waiting longer, would I try to replace what I can’t have with what I can? Is that why these males get so much satisfaction from their keyholders’ orgasms? Could be. I’m hoping I never find out for myself, but I suspect I will one day.

Forced male chastity has stimulated Mrs. Lion and I to independently rethink the role of sex in our marriage. For a long time, sex was not a focus for us as a couple. Mrs. Lion lost interest and I just took care of myself most of the time. Our approaches to each other were very genitally centered. Mrs. Lion mentioned that to me in a recent email. We both just went for the orgasm. Thanks to me being caged and our increased level of communication, we have let each other know that this approach just doesn’t work well. Mrs. Lion has been spicing up my teasing with some nice play. I will be spicing up my advances with some treats of my own.

Schedule Vs. Spontaneous
Another aspect of desperation is the concept of knowing when the end will come. Until June, Mrs. Lion gave me no idea when my next orgasm would arrive. She gave me one when the spirit moved her. Fortunately this is a very active spirit and moved her a lot. I mentioned that it might be interesting if I know the next time I will orgasm. So, Mrs. Lion told me that my next orgasm would be July 4th with no chance of extending or reducing this sentence.

It turns out that this fixed date has been interesting for me. I find myself counting the days until I can finally orgasm. Mrs. Lion has said she has been too. Even though I am getting a lot less opportunity to come, this scheduled release has added considerable excitement to my chastity. Mrs. Lion has done a great job of reminding me that I have to wait. It’s been a lot of frustrating fun. If she also adds the opportunity to earn time off for good behavior, or adds time if I am naughty, things will get even more interesting and exciting.

Let’s face it, forced chastity is a game that plays with desperation. If rewards and penalties are added, and if the penalties are significant, the stakes go up and the game can get amazingly exciting. What’s a bit difficult for me to handle right now is that I am playing for the highest stakes: my ability to come. But that’s why it is so exciting. Mrs. Lion not only has control but can play with her control by changing how much waiting I have to do. In the meantime she can tease me and watch my desperation grow.

Once she overcomes feeling guilty for putting me through this and recognizes that this is a game we are both enjoying, I expect she will have a lot of fun too. Admittedly, my idea of fun and hers are pretty different. But she’s known that as long as we have known one another. Having fun yet, my dear lioness?

By:
In: Lion's Journal
no sex
Mrs. Lion means business. When she says, “No” she means it. Last night I really needed teasing, but she firmly refused to take me out of my cage.

(Tuesday, July 1, 2014) Mrs. Lion has been very kind to me. In the past she would give me an orgasm if I asked very nicely.  That stopped when she set my first scheduled orgasm for July 4. I have been waiting nine days and I am really feeling it. However, no amount of begging will get that date moved up. I did ask for it and now I have it. Grrrr!

Last night we reached another turning point. Having learned that Mrs. Lion, like me, needs a nice warm up before the real action begins, I made a point of kissing and touching all those special spots that turn her on. It worked very well. I followed the foreplay with delightful oral sex. I had a great time. She is so tasty! I love the sounds she makes as she orgasms. I was hard and trying to burst out of my cage. I’ve always loved making her come. Yummy lioness!

After we snuggled a bit, I asked if she would tease me. I know that it is hopeless to ask for an early orgasm, however her teasing is certainly wonderful too. She told me she wasn’t going to take my cage off. I did my best to convince her. I used my best puppy dog face, I grumbled and made her laugh; but all to no avail. Finally, she spent some time playing with my penis inside its cage. She commented that I reacted very strongly. Of course I did! It was eight days since my last orgasm and I had just finished a delightful lioness snack. I was ready! If only I could feel her mouth or hand on my cock, even if it left me wanting, it would feel so good. But no, that wasn’t going to happen.

This is a true sea change. Before, even without providing an orgasm to Mrs. Lion, she would take me out of my cage and tease me until I couldn’t take any more. All I had to do was ask. Now, even with her still mellow from several orgasms, she firmly declined my piteous entreaties. Oh cruel Mrs. Lion! I woke up several times during the night with my penis pressing against its cage. My erection didn’t wake me up, but I was surprised it was there each time.

While I am not happy that I have lost my power of persuasion, I am very happy that Mrs. Lion is now firmly in control and I can’t get what I want just by being pathetic. I can’t get what I want, period. Ironically, that’s just what I wanted. Now that I have it, well I am very frustrated. I wrote earlier that I didn’t seem to be suffering from tree-humping horniness. I now officially recant. I am tree-humping horny!

The question is why? I think it is a combination of three things: the length of time since my last orgasm, the amount of teasing I am getting, and most importantly, giving Mrs. Lion a great orgasm. We’ve had me wait nine days with lots of teasing. I was quite comfortable handling the wait. I did want to come, but I wasn’t terribly stressed. Now, at the ninth day again, things are completely different. Since Mrs. Lion’s orgasms last night I am really desperate for sex. Giving her that delightful oral sex turned me on and hasn’t let me turn off. For hours after we finished, I could smell her on my face. It was wonderful. My nocturnal erections were more like they were when I was thirty, not at all typical of someone my age.

Did it turn me on that Mrs. Lion refused to take me out of my cage? No, that wasn’t exciting at all. It was massively frustrating. But it was also really good. I’ve been spoiled all these years. I’ve always had sex on my terms. I don’t feel guilty about that. I’ve always given as well as I got. But I have wanted to surrender control. Now Mrs. Lion has taken control for the first time. She has been decisive about when I will come again, and now is firmly controlling teasing as well. It frustrates the hell out of me. It makes me grumble (for real), but I have to acknowledge that I am getting my wish.

Even better, Mrs. Lion is beginning to provide spanking and other play on her own terms. I know she does these things because she knows I want them and that they turn me on. But now she is doing them as less of a service and more the way I would do them as a top. As a top, I did things that my bottom wanted: spanking, clothespins, etc. However, while I might pick things she wanted, I didn’t let her control how much or how long. I have wanted that from Mrs. Lion. Now I am about to get that too.

Last night, she shared some ideas she had. She wanted to fix my hands above my head when my penis was uncaged. She wanted to do it in a way that was comfortable for me and that would let me rub my nose if it itches. I went down to the basement lion playroom and brought up a pair of heavy-duty velcro cuffs, some chain, and connectors. We set it up and it met her requirement. She also wondered about mittens that would prevent me from using my hands to play with myself if I were not restrained but uncaged. I went back down to my playroom and brought up leather bondage mittens. They almost met her requirements. She said she wanted mittens with little spikes or something to make it hurt if my hands wandered down there. Some years ago, we bought some 3M adhesive tread liner. It’s very coarse sandpaper on a plastic backing that you can glue to steps to prevent slipping. We used it to line a couple of paddles and some clothespins. It really hurts! She wondered if we could use that. I’ve been thinking about it and I believe we can. Tonight I will see if we have any, if not I will get some and put that on the outside of the mittens. I’m sure that will work.

This is all a very big deal to me. It means that Mrs. Lion is no longer doing things because I like them with an eye toward always making it fun for me. She is now taking me at my word and acting as a true top. I’m going to find out how it is to be a real bottom / chaste male. More importantly, even if I hate it, I know it won’t stop. That’s very important to me too. If I have surrendered control, that’s it. This is Mrs. Lion’s show, not mine.

By:
In: Lion's Journal
ejaculating penis
Does this look appetizing to you? It doesn’t to me. But effective immediately it will be my post-orgasm snack.

(Saturday, June 21, 2o14 6pm) It’s my eighth day since my last orgasm. This is the longest I have gone since being locked up in February. It may be my all time record. I don’t know. If it isn’t, it’s close. Last night I awakened several times. This isn’t unusual and I don’t think it is related to my sexual deprivation. I do this most nights. However, last night my mind was definitely on sex each time I woke up. It’s been on my mind all day too. Mrs. Lion hasn’t done anything to encourage me to think this way. I am wearing my shock collar (no shocks so far today) and I got a few swats on my bare bottom for starting breakfast before Mrs. Lion. When not engaged on domestic activities, I retrieved a video that I had seen a few years ago about tease and denial. This video (now here on this site. You can find it here) is a real-life keyholder giving her caged male some “yard time”. I was particularly taken by what she said. It was obviously very natural, and frankly really hot to me. I really like how she related to her partner. It is sexual and features full nudity. To date, this is the only video I have seen that has not only the ring of truth, but also turns me on.

Mrs Lion’s post yesterday (Saturday, June 20) proposed some rules for me. The first being a fulfillment of the fantasy I had expressed in a previous post. This fantasy started after six days of denial. In it, I was required to eat any semen I produced. My analysis of this fantasy was that I wasn’t asking to eat semen right after I come — most men don’t want any part of it at that time — I truly don’t like eating my semen. I think the fantasy was my mind working out a negotiation to end my dry spell. Maybe if I offered to eat it, Mrs. Lion would get me off. It’s true that I have been fed it before. Generally, when I am required to eat it, Mrs. Lion just gives me a little drop or two. Once, she did ask me if she made me come, would I eat my semen. I agreed and I ate it. It has a nasty aftertaste, but otherwise just a yucky texture. Now I see that unless she has me ejaculate in her mouth, I will be at the least, sharing my bounty. Fair enough. Give me a chance to make some and I will consume it! Of course, if it is a ruined orgasm, I will still have to eat it. Oh well, a lion has to take the bad with the good.

Actually, I am really happy she has decided to consider these rules. She created them and it shows she is evolving and more willing to consider things for herself. I like that a lot. These rules, in particular show that she is thinking about controlling me. That’s what I asked her to do. I am beginning to think she is starting to find practical value as well as some fun in this new arrangement.

I also like that you are sharing this with  us. In one sense I am blushing a bit. You now know that I am a regular semen-eater. Your knowledge of this very intimate and somewhat humiliating tidbit represents a significant increase in my vulnerability level. It’s one thing to read about my fantasy and then read that Mrs. Lion is thinking of making me do this, and another thing entirely to learn I am going to do it and I will report these events in Lion’s Adventure each time I do it. If you care to know, you already have full knowledge of all things sexual about me since my lockup by reading these posts and following my adventures. I wish I could give you a logical reason why I decided to do this. Am I an exhibitionist? Do I want public humiliation? Am I crazy?

Well, I don’t think I am the first two. The third you can decide for yourself. I can’t provide a rational explanation for all this. I just feel it is the right thing for me to do. Mrs. Lion and I are both profiting from reading each other’s posts. Your comments and emails have been wonderful support for the two of us. Thank you for taking this trip with us. It means a lot.