One of the most difficult things about forced male chastity for me are the long dry spells between chastity or sex-related activities. It’s not a problem with my keyholder. I don’t think it is a defect of mine eihter. The simple reality is that I am constantly aware that my cock is locked in a cage. It’s a small cage that is comfortable enough, but it is a cage nonetheless. So here I am with this steel hanging between my legs and nothing is happening beyond my getting 2 inch semi’s (that’s all the cage will allow).

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t spend all my waking hours thinking about my poor, confined, little weenie. It does come to mind when I sit down to pee, or need to make a quick adjustment when sitting. It’s not even unpleasant realizing that she doesn’t have to do anything more to prolong my suffering. Generally, in a dominant/submissive situation, the person holding the power has to act on the person receiving. Not with forced chastity. Mrs. Lion’s actions ended when she snapped that little lock shut.

Like most men who are in forced chastity, I expect there will be more than solitary confinement. My expectations include some teasing, cleaning, and inspections…hopefully some orgasms too. In my case I am getting lots of attention, sometimes more than I want (like having to wear diapers). But then that is part of the power exchange.

The trouble for some males is that their expectations are fantasy-based and no mortal keyholder is going to be able to meet them. I see this kind of whining fairly often on chastity forums. It makes for dull reading. Actually, if two-year-old’s could type, this is what they would write.  I have even see one toddler type “If she won’t play with you the way you want, throw a tantrum and cut the cage off. That will show her.”

Wow, I bet a threat like this scares the poor woman into doing just what he wants. Even though I have to endure long periods of confinement with no stimulation, I am the one benefiting from Mrs. Lion’s kind indulgence of my kink. As someone who has been on the dominant side of power exchange, I can say with complete confidence that the way to enjoy a long term, submissive (read forced chastity) relationship is to treasure your keyholder and the work she does to please you. If you don’t think it is a gift, start reading the Web. You will find endless, sometimes pathetic attempts single males make to simulate a forced chastity situation. There are quite a few females out there who collect thousands of dollars just to receive and mail back chastity cage keys. I am a very lucky caged lion.

Mrs. Lion continues to astound me with her ability to understand and then own my forced chastity. Last night I was released for a “stretch”. She played with me right up to the edge. Excellent tease and deny! She left me uncaged after she stopped. A half hour later, she resumed her activity. This was great for a couple of reasons: It is always fun to be teased by my love, and I need some recovery time before I can really enjoy sex after being locked up for days. The first stimulation takes a while to get me hard and the sensations are mixed at first. This is probably due to my body adjusting to its new freedom.

The second time she played with me, I was enjoying every second. When I got close, she asked, “Would you like to come?”

I said, “Yes Ma’am.”

“Is it worth wearing a diaper both Monday and Tuesday nights?” I had to think about that. As I have written before, Mrs. Lion’s first creative stroke was to require me to wear a diaper from Friday until I leave for work on Monday morning. I have to use the diapers to pee. This is most definitely not a fetish of mine. Neither of us is into adult baby play or anything like it. The diaper wearing is a way for Mrs. Lion to show her control in no uncertain terms. She knows I dislike this part of our play. So, asking me to trade two nights of peeing myself in a diaper for an orgasm was not a simple decision for me.

My decision-making ability wasn’t helped by her continued stroking of my hard cock. I really wanted to come. I also really wanted to get out of diapers until my next scheduled time (Friday). I think if her lubricated hand wasn’t moving up and down my shaft, I probably would have elected to deal with the frustration. But this was too much! I said, “Yes, please!”

“Are you sure? I know you don’t like to wear these.” She held up the diaper she removed so she could unlock and play with me.

“I’m sure,” I panted.

“Ok.” Her hand moved more rapidly. I felt release building and in a few seconds her hand was bathed in the happy result.

Afterward, she asked me, “How did I do?”

I know she wasn’t referring to the hand job. She knew exactly how she did with that. She was asking about her new found dominance. “You are amazing,” I told her.

“It was ok?”

“Absolutely,” I said, “You offered me a tough choice. You know I hate wearing a diaper and you knew I really wanted to come. It was brilliant!”

“I’m glad it worked for you,” she said in a quiet voice.

She hasn’t yet internalized her role. I know she is still doing it just because I want it. But I have hope. Even if this doesn’t turn out to be her favorite hobby, I think she is getting comfortable in her role. Mrs. Lion is truly an amazing woman!

There aren’t many of us who just want our weenies locked up. All by itself forced chastity is surrender of sexual control; graphically giving our partners full charge of the sexual initiative. At least it appears that way on the surface. In fact, Mrs. Lion expects me to take the initiative with her. There are limits to what I can do, but she really enjoys my finger and my tongue. My penis isn’t needed for me to please her. So in my case being locked up gives her control of when I get sexual release but doesn’t confer on her the obligation to tell me when she wants to be pleased.  She also hasn’t said that my chances to get off depend on how good a job I do pleasing here. Too bad. I wish she would. I would like to earn my releases. Since I have been locked up only a month now, things may evolve in that direction.

The important thing is that I not try to direct how my chastity will progress. I have surrendered control and Mrs. Lion has accepted it. She and only she should determine how things will go. Recently, I heard other caged males complain about the lack of “attention” from their keyholders. They firmly believe that the fact that they are locked up creates an obligation on their partner’s part to fulfill their fantasies. That makes no sense to me. I have my fantasies and it would be big fun to live some of them. Others are just too much for real life and are better left in my demented mind. However, I didn’t trade the use of my cock for the realization of some fantasies. I surrendered it to Mrs. Lion and now she owns it and can do with it what she wishes. The attitude that having your partner lock you up entitles you to require her to act out the movie in your head is bound to cause you to fail. She may actually do it for a while, but unless it is actually internalized by her, she will just end up finding it work and will stop.

It’s hard work for me to give up control. I sometimes hint that I am horny…what a shock! Mrs. Lion takes pity on me and gives me release. That’s very sweet of her, but wrong of me to say that. I’m sure that when I say I am horny and she knows she has me locked up that there is a certain amount of guilt. That guilt may drive her to get me off. If I want to be a good boy, I have to just shut up and internalize my need to come. I have to let Mrs. Lion decide in her own way when the time is right for me to squirt. I am resolved to do this. I’m sure I will slip, but I am determined to let her make my forced chastity hers.

You Cum Too Often, Cage Hurts, What’s With The Diapers and more

You Cum Too Much

Hey caged lion, you aren’t really into chastity. Just look at your orgasm log, you cum more than I do and I’m not locked up. I think you aren’t really into chastity.

–Once a week

Dear Once,

I’m sorry that you don’t get enough. Forced chastity isn’t necessarily abstinence. A lot of  people into forced chastity find them having very little sexual release. Others, like me at least for now, are getting frequent release. Forced chastity is about control. My cage effectively prevents me from getting off. Mrs. Lion, my keyholder, decides when and how I get release. Our agreement says nothing about how often I get to cum. We agreed that I will be locked into my cage 24/7 and that Mrs. Lion will decide when or if my cage comes of and for what purpose.

So far she has given me two sabbaticals from captivity, both to allow sores to heal. Each time she released me she also made me cum. In her words, “You may be a wild lion for now but you aren’t likely to want sex for a while.” She’s right. She blunted the edge of my desire. When she decided I was ready to return to captivity she locked me up again.

The point is that my penis is not under my control. Mrs. Lion owns it. It just happens to be attached to me. She and only she decides when she wants to take it out and play. It’s up to her to take care of her toy in any way she sees fit. I’m very happy that she owns it and that so far she has been quite interested in playing with it. Unlike you, I can’t decide to play with it myself. If I get horny I have to deal with it. I only cum at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. That’s why it’s called chastity.

It hurts to be in my cage
Dear Caged Lion,

I’ve just gotten into being caged. I bought a CB6000S and have been experimenting with different sized cock rings. One of them seems to be the correct fit. I can just get one finger between the ring and my body. The longest I’ve been able to wear it has been for a few hours. The skin under the ring gets very sore and red. I just can’t keep it on.

Chafed

Dear Chafed,

This soreness is not unusual with a new device or just taking up chastity. As you go about your daily activity, your body flexes down there. The plastic ring on the CB6000 is pretty “grippy”; there is considerable friction between the ring and your body. As a result, your normal movements force the ring to overcome the friction and irritate you. Some people use lube under the ring. That will temporarily alleviate the friction. Others try larger rings. That sometimes helps, but of course reduces security. In my case, when I started out with a steel device, I had a 2″ ring. After an hour or two one of my balls would escape.  I moved down to a 1 7/8″ ring. That stopped the escape, but I could still get two fingers under it. Finally, I went to a 1 3/4″ ring. It was pretty uncomfortable for a few days. I got quite red and hurt. Mrs. Lion had to give me a 24 hour rest. Eventually, it stopped bothering me at all as my body learned to live with the cage.

I suggest you consider going from the plastic to stainless steel. There are inexpensive cages available from China that can provide a pretty good fit. Be sure to measure carefully. See our measurement page for instructions on how to find your size. You can find the best prices and assortment on dhgate.com. Expect to wait three to four weeks for your cage. If you are in a hurry, amazon.com and ebay both list devices. In the meantime, try going up a ring size or two on the CB6000. You might also try pulling your scrotum skin back toward your body so there is a lot of loose skin between the ring and your abdomen. Some find this helpful. Lube isn’t really going to work long term. Also, take off the device and give yourself some time to heal.  Good luck!

Must I wear diapers?

Dear Caged Lion,

I enjoy your blog, but there is something I don’t understand. What do diapers have to do with chastity? Are you saying that in addition to being caged I should also expect to wear diapers?

–Staying Dry

Dear Dry,

Diapers have nothing at all to do with chastity. Years ago Mrs. Lion and I were experimenting with topping and bottoming (she was/is the top). One idea I had was to make me wear a diaper. At the time I figured that being made to wear diapers was a very clear signal of my submission. I wasn’t interested in being an adult baby. That just isn’t my thing. There was definitely a feeling of helplessness when I had to sit in a wet or dirty diaper until Mrs. Lion allowed me to change. All in all, neither of us really enjoyed it and we soon dropped that form of play.

When I asked Mrs. Lion how she felt about locking me up, she agreed because she knew I wanted it. She knew that I really missed bottoming. In fact, she said that she was considering putting me in diapers again since she knows that makes me feel submissive. I didn’t comment. I really prefer using the toilet. Shortly after locking me up she told me that she wanted me to wear a diaper from after work Friday until I got dressed for work on Monday. She said that I only had to pee in my diaper. I could use the toilet to poop. That was a relief. Of course I agreed.

After a month of weekend diaper service, I can say that it still isn’t fun for me.  I don’t really like to pee myself. However, having to wear them does, in fact, make me feel more submissive to her. Last night after discarding a wet diaper, I forgot to put on a new one. That earned me some swats with a very painful paddle. This amazed me. It’s been years and years since Mrs. Lion disciplined me. My butt hurt but my heart soared. That was just what I needed.

The key reason the diapers are going along with my chastity is that she knows I want to be locked up. She also knows that I would rather not pee myself. Both the chastity and the diapers to me are expressions of her control, but the diapers are her idea, not mine. That by itself is enough to give me the sense of submission I so badly wanted.

So, no I am not advocating diaper wearing as part of your chastity. It’s part of mine because it works for us.

My husband wants me to lock him up

Dear Caged Lion,

Your blog is great. Your section for keyholders helped me understand just what my husband wants. I was surprised and a little upset when he told me that he wanted me to lock up his cock. I thought he didn’t want to have sex with me. Now that I know more we have been talking about locking his cock. I now understand what he wants, but I am not sure I can do everything he says he needs. He wants me to control him and tell him what to do. He says that if I don’t please him, I should keep him locked up longer and not orgasm until I think he is being good. I’m a busy woman and I don’t have the time to be his nanny. I want my husband to be the man of the house. I am fine with controlling his sex life, but I don’t want to be his mommy.

–Not his mommy

Dear Not,

It sounds like your husband wants more than forced chastity. This isn’t unusual. I have fantasies that go far beyond our current activities. I think that is natural. However, he needs to understand that he is turning control over to you. That means he shouldn’t expect to create the scenarios that you do with him. He wants you to take charge. So do so. Tell him that you are okay about locking him up and controlling when he gets to orgasm. Ask him if he understands that you, not he will decide what else you control. You may expect him to be sexually aggressive and work hard to keep you satisfied. You may tell him that you want him to do more around the house. However, you don’t want to punish him. He has to be in charge of his own life. You might also let him know that if he is a good boy and makes you very happy, you might reward him by taking him out of his cage for some fun.

The key is to clearly communicate what you want and what you are willing to do. Ask him if he still wants to be caged. If he says yes, then lock him up and do things your way.

If you would like to ask Caged Lion, just click on the Contact Us link.We love mail.