Category: Living with chastity

Tuesday night was a surprise orgasm night. Mrs. Lion unlocked me and then after a while came over to snuggle. She spent a lot of time just holding me and playing with my nipples and chest. It felt really good and I wasn’t feeling particularly horny. Eventually, her hand drifted south and she began playing with my penis. Predictably, it rose to the occasion. I had a little sore spot. I think the Evotion chastity device may have rubbed a bit of skin. Mrs. Lion said that this sore spot was in about the same place as the one I had a week before. I’ll have to check the device to see if there isn’t a little bit of roughness in that area.

It took a little while to get my motor running. Once I was excited the tension built up quickly. I was near the edge when Mrs. Lion stopped. She waited and started again. She’s an expert at keeping me right at the brink of an orgasm. Finally, after pushing me to the edge a few times, she kept going and I had a wonderful orgasm. It had been a week since my last one. This is about the average wait time for me over the last year or so. When all the activity was done, Mrs. Lion told me she would leave me wild to allow the sore spot to heal. Also, there is little risk my hands will stray down into that forbidden territory so soon after I have ejaculated.

This month marks our sixth anniversary of starting this blog. I started it just a couple of months after Mrs. Lion took the keys to my male chastity device. It’s been a remarkable adventure. In this time we’ve written nearly 4100 posts. That makes us one of the largest sex blogs on the Internet. It’s also been a true journal recording our growth, challenges, joys, and sadness over these last years. Many readers have become remote members of our family. Both Mrs. Lion and I have posted nearly daily throughout this time.

When we travel on vacation, we sometimes find ourselves writing posts in our car parked outside of a fast-food joint. Other times, we do our writing in a restaurant. Most of the places we visit with our camper don’t have cell service or any Internet coverage. We find a way somehow. Frequently, that means we have to drive 15 or 20 miles for the nearest cell reception. We remain very committed to sharing our lives with you.

We’ve evolved quite a bit over these years. Things that seemed radical and almost impossible are now routine parts of our lives. For example, I am always naked when at home. The only exception is if it is too cold and I get to wear a T-shirt, or we have visitors. This is absolutely routine. I feel uncomfortable if I have to wear clothes at home. Mrs. Lion generally chooses to stay naked too. Since December 2013 I haven’t masturbated. This is probably the most radical change in my sex life. Prior to that, I had been masturbating since I was 11 years old. I never considered it wrong or dirty. It was something I did to relieve tension or to feel good.

On the night I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me in a male chastity device, the subject of masturbation came up. I think the discussion began in the context of edging. I told her that I had been masturbating about once a week since we had been together. She didn’t like that at all. She said that she had no idea I did it. She then announced that her first rule was that I must never masturbate again. I thought that was rather draconian and I wondered if I would be able to obey it. Of course, being locked in a chastity device took the decision to masturbate out of my hands.

As far as I know, very few men don’t masturbate. It’s easy and feels good. For the record, I haven’t masturbated once since Mrs. Lion made that rule. That brings me to a question: Wasn’t that rule the real beginning of our female led relationship? The fact that I asked her to lock me in a chastity device certainly gave her power over sex. So long as I was locked in I couldn’t masturbate on my own. But if I were ever wild, I could sneak in an ejaculation or two.

Along with her admonition about no more masturbation, Mrs. Lion made it very clear that she would consider a violation of this rule a very serious offense; almost like cheating with another woman. No penalties were discussed. She just let me know how serious she was about it.

I accepted her rule. It never occurred to me to question her authority to make it. I didn’t associate that rule with the fact that she became my keyholder. I didn’t think of it as part of anything. I just knew that it was something she told me not to do and therefore I wouldn’t do it. It was no different than the fact that I can’t wear clothes at home. Mrs. Lion says I can’t, so I can’t.

I don’t think either of us thought very much about what had happened. Mrs. Lion knew that I like the idea that she made a rule for me — the one about me being naked at home — and didn’t have a lot of feelings either way about enforcing it. Essentially she didn’t care. For the record, she cares now. The masturbation rule was different. She felt that I sexually pleasing myself without her was a betrayal. She let me know that. Neither of us considered discussing penalties for breaking it. I had the clear sense that if I jerked off, it would threaten our marriage. That’s how serious she was.

Looking back through the years, it’s easy to see that locking me in a male chastity device and forbidding me masturbation under any circumstances represented important first steps in a true female led relationship. There was no contract or even verbal agreement about who’s in charge. It was my act of surrendering sexual control by asking her to lock me in a chastity device and her assumption of authority by insisting I never masturbate again that established the FLR.

Both came out of needs unrelated to the desire of being in a disciplinary relationship. I found the idea of surrendering sexual control to Mrs. Lion and letting her lock me up as very hot. She figured I’d get tired of the chastity device and we’d stop fairly soon after we started. She, however, was very serious about forbidding my masturbation. I don’t think she saw this as an extension of male chastity. She was truly offended that I took sex into my own hands. She felt she had a right to insist I never do it again.

Looking through time, it’s easy to see that those two actions started something much larger. I offered to surrender something important to Mrs. Lion. It’s true, that I thought it was very sexily exciting to do so. That certainly helped me feel okay about asking her. She felt good about demanding I never jerk off again. It didn’t come out of a sense of authority over me. It came out of a kind of moral indignation. Regardless, she fully expected me to obey. I recognize that and accepted her rule.

That’s the beginning of what we have now. Sure, we had done BDSM play where she topped me. That was always limited to the scene we played. It never extended into day-to-day life. I did enjoy it when she took charge. That’s why she asked me to stay naked at home. She knew I liked feeling that bit of her authority.

What happened next is chronicled over the last six years in this blog. We struggled with how to build the sort of relationship that works for both of us. We made lots of mistakes. We learned a great deal. What we have now is something that evolved over all that time. I don’t think either of us would have believed where we would be on that night I asked her to lock me into a chastity device six years later. I don’t think Mrs. Lion could ever imagine how her authority grew over all that time. We didn’t need a contract. Perhaps the millions of words we’ve published here represent an evolving agreement for our very unique relationship.

Mrs. Lion is feeling her winter malaise. She spends weeks feeling like she’s about to come down with a cold but doesn’t quite get there. I feel sorry for her. This seems to happen every year in the deep, dark days of winter. To make things worse, she begins to feel guilty she isn’t doing enough for me. I try to let her know that I understand and can certainly manage the reduced level of attention I get.

This situation highlights one of the more difficult aspects of our sexual power exchange. Mrs. Lion does not want me to take matters into my own hands, so to speak. She likes owning all of my orgasms. As I’ve discovered more recently, she isn’t too happy about extracurricular erections either. When she let me remain wild, I did get myself hard once in a while. She didn’t exactly forbid it, but when I wrote about it she responded by saying she never permitted it either. Now that I am securely locked into a male chastity device, erections of any sort aren’t an issue.

By assuming total control of my sexual pleasure, has Mrs. Lion assumed responsibility for providing a certain amount of it? Certainly she doesn’t have to. There isn’t very much I can do about it. It’s not like I can sneak off and masturbate. Sometimes when I’m horny I get frustrated and a little grumpy. If that gets on her nerves she can cure the problem very quickly without unlocking my penis.

This has less to do with me than it does her. When she thinks she isn’t teasing me enough or providing me with enough sexual stimulation of any kind, I think she feels guilty. If that guilt motivates her I can generally sense it. I hate the way that feels. I don’t want to be anyone’s responsibility.

The problem is that there aren’t any reasonable alternatives available to her. She really doesn’t want me providing my own sexual entertainment and absolutely doesn’t want me near any other women. That means that any sex I get has to be provided by her. Should she change her position? Does she need an assistant who can sexually stimulate me when she is not feeling capable? Should she let me take things into my own hands?

I am pretty sure I know the answer to those questions. Sure, it’s a hot fantasy to imagine that she recruits another woman to masturbate me when she’s not feeling up to it. You know, an assistant lioness. Her assistant could also spank me when needed. That’s definitely a hot fantasy. There’s no way anything like that could work. Even if Mrs. Lion liked the idea, what would be in it for her assistant? There isn’t a long waiting list of females who want to spank me or jerk me off. There’s actually only one and she’s doing it now.

For better or worse, Mrs. Lion and I are monogamous. We are devoted to one another. I really don’t want anyone else even if it means I end up missing out sometimes. For the record, I don’t consider spanking the same as genital sex. I don’t know how Mrs. Lion feels about it. I spent many years in the BDSM community and I’ve spanked and been spanked by many women. For the record, I didn’t have sex as part of the activities.

I really like our exclusivity. I belong to her and only her. We are mates for life. Sooner or later Mrs. Lion will feel better and the fun will resume. In the meantime, I can hold her and she can hold me. I can wake up in the middle of the night and hear her snoring softly next to me. I can eat meals with her and can sometimes piss her off when I call one of her stories a soap opera.

Mrs. Lion waxed me yesterday. Since my last hair removal was only about a month ago, I wasn’t nearly as furry as I was at our last session. That made her job much easier. I now have no hair from my knees up to my neck. I do have hair on both arms, but none in my pits. I admit that I like the feeling of hairless skin. I particularly like it in the Brazilian area. One of the reasons I asked to be waxed this weekend is because I plan to prepare my review of the Evotion Orion male chastity device. I’ve been wearing it for a while and I think I have enough information to write an informed review.

Mrs. Lion removed the device in order to wax me. She decided to let me remain wild until after the big game yesterday. We had a snack after the game and then Mrs. Lion applied the Magic Wand vibrator to my penis. It felt very good but I just couldn’t get myself close to orgasm. I was breathing hard and moving but for some reason stuck again. After I finish writing this post, Mrs. Lion told me that she will be locking me up again.

I don’t think that I’m broken. There are just times when it’s difficult for me. It’s been 16 days (as of today) since my last orgasm. Could it be that I’ve passed a point when my interest declines? I don’t know. My frequency has gone down quite a bit. I had just two orgasms in December and two in January. Typically I have three or four in any given month. Maybe this is a new pattern for me. By the way, I’m sure I’m not broken. I’m dripping precum as I write this post. As soon as she finished with the vibrator, Mrs. Lion suggested I go write my post. I was a lot more excited than I thought.

Speaking of excitement, I fell asleep a few times during the Super Bowl. Neither of us is a fan of either Kansas City or San Francisco so the game was more just for the fun of watching football. I decided I would root for San Francisco and Mrs. Lion decided she would root for the Kansas City team. Her reasoning was that she considered Kansas City an underdog since it hasn’t won a Super Bowl in 50 years. I just like San Francisco because Chinatown and Fisherman’s Wharf are really good places to eat.

Before starting this post I also put the Evotion device into my ultrasonic cleaner. The finish was looking a little dull from accumulated body oils. It’s a good idea to use an ultrasonic cleaner every few weeks on a chastity device that’s worn continuously. Soap and water, even detergents, can’t really completely clean off the surfaces of a device. Amazon.com sells a variety of ultrasonic cleaners that are pretty inexpensive. It’s a reasonable investment if you wear a male chastity device full-time.

Even though I wasn’t able to get over the top last night, I’m still really horny. That should come as no shock. One of the big advantages I find in wearing a male chastity device is that it prevents me from getting an erection except after Mrs. Lion unlocks me. It seems like that causes me to store up my arousal. Even though I would never masturbate, getting hard does provide some sexual relief. I can’t explain it, but when I’m locked up it feels like my sexual battery is being charged with no opportunity to light up anything.

I’m sure you know that Kansas City won the Super Bowl. Mrs. Lion didn’t celebrate but seemed happy her team came through in the fourth quarter. I’m not disappointed at all. I’d still like a chance to go to Fisherman’s Wharf and have a nice fried sand dollar dinner.

For the record, Mrs. Lion and I don’t read each other’s posts before we write our own. Her post on Friday afternoon and mine yesterday morning were very similar and addressed the same issue. I wrote mine before she published hers. Clearly the same thing was on both of our minds. I did check out one of my assumptions. I said that I didn’t think women spend much time thinking about penises, or for that matter, chastity devices. Mrs. Lion said that she doesn’t think about either very often. I’m not surprised. I think about mine quite a bit. Actually, when I’m wild I don’t think about my penis too much at all. When I’m caged, it’s hard to ignore.

There is one very big difference between human sexuality and sexual behavior by most other mammals (primates excluded). Other mammals like lions, don’t spend any time dealing with being horny unless a female is ready to accept them. I’m not saying that lions are never horny if they aren’t near a female in heat. Of course, they get that way. But it’s nothing like the near-continuous heat that humans like me feel.

I can’t know what goes on in a real lion’s mind. But based on observed behavior, we know that they don’t behave sexually unless near female in heat. When I’m wild, being a primate, I exhibit and express sexual arousal whether or not I am with a female ready to accept me. Sex for us primates has more social value than reproductive motivation. When I am in a male chastity device, I still may have the sexual thoughts but physically I’m unavailable until my mate unlocks me and allows me to express myself.

That’s what makes wearing a male chastity device both frustrating and very interesting. Aside from the obvious power exchange, sex for me is 100% controlled by circumstance. I need my keyholder to release me before I can have so much as an erection. When her interest fades, I’m locked in again and my penis has no sexual function.

I wonder if this dramatic loss of physical sexual control ripples out to my mental state. Once the novelty of losing the ability to control when my penis is aroused and ejaculates, do I stop wasting time thinking about all the nice things I could do with it? The Victorians believed that if boys were allowed to masturbate they would lose intelligence and eventually go insane.

Obviously that’s not true. But could it be that deprived of the ability to ejaculate, boys found other things to do? Perhaps paying more attention in school is a byproduct of being forcibly sexually repressed. Perhaps offering more nonsexual attention and focus to my mate is a result of my sexual repression.

Many generations of Western civilization believed the biblical admonition against spilling one’s own seed. I could see that driving certain extremists to devise physical methods to prevent adolescent and unmarried male sin. I don’t think the Victorian obsession with male masturbation was entirely biblical. There had to be some “evidence” that led them to this action.

I wonder if there are changes in my behavior brought on by being locked in a male chastity device. Certainly I don’t make any attempt to turn myself on while wearing the device. I know it is futile and not even frustrating, just annoying. So I don’t bother. I still have sexual thoughts and fantasies. But they stay in my head. I don’t find myself starting to get hard when I think about such things. My body knows better.

I have read posts by some men who like the idea that the chastity device makes their penises disappear. They like being sexual vessels able to provide pleasure to others without needing to expose their own sexual desires. Some apparently like being aroused but resist ejaculating. The highly controlled environment of being in an enforced male chastity situation supports both of those scenarios. I like the idea that I no longer control the sexual use of my penis. I like that only Mrs. Lion can arouse me and, if she wishes, make me ejaculate.

There are probably many other ways enforced male chastity changes men’s behavior. The changes don’t seem to depend on the frequency the male is allowed to ejaculate. The long term physical restraint of the penis causes changes. I don’t think anybody has done studies on the sexual changes induced by wearing a chastity device. It would be interesting to learn from a larger sample.

If you wear a device, have you observed changes that you could attribute to having your penis locked up?

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