Living with chastity

I am increasingly concerned about the coronavirus. We live in the Seattle area, the epicenter of the US epidemic. Mrs. Lion works at a medical office. Fortunately, she doesn’t contact patients, but she does see other staff. From what she says, the office is not taking the problem seriously. After my 2019 health problems, I worry that I am vulnerable. I am not going out of the house. I canceled my physical therapy for the rest of the month. I’ve also shifted my 401k investments out of the stock market.

So far we are fine. I’m more than fine! Wednesday night, after an 11-day wait, Mrs. Lion gave me a great oral orgasm. According to her, I produced about a teaspoonful of semen. This is a nice improvement. I have no idea why I’ve gone back to making a good quantity. Mrs. Lion enjoyed it. I loved having a chance to ejaculate.

Enforced male chastity has given me a real appreciation of each orgasm. I think this is the best benefit it gives me. Prior to this power exchange, I didn’t think too much about my orgasms. Of course, I liked them, but they weren’t memorable. Now, I cherish each one. I’m grateful to Mrs. Lion for them. It’s a true gift.

BEC (Before Enforced Chastity) I considered ejaculation a normal bodily function with no special significance. I could ejaculate as often as I liked. Sure, it felt very good; but it wasn’t special. I did consider some partner sex special. Generally, it wasn’t the orgasm that was notable. It was the foreplay or the position. Blow jobs were always notable. I adore oral sex.

Now each orgasm is amazing. BEC I would get hotter and hotter and then in a few seconds I would ejaculate. Case closed. Now there is a long buildup and my orgasm goes on and on. I’m not really aware of when I actually ejaculate. I feel spasm after spasm. It’s amazing.

When Mrs. Lion gets me off after just three or four days, the orgasm feels just as good. It doesn’t have to do with the length of my wait. I think that my sexual surrender is responsible. I surrendered, I didn’t become passive. I tread the fine line between trying to convince Mrs. Lion to be sexual and being annoying. So far, when I cross that line all I get is a soft growl. I think it’s only a matter of time before that growl turns into a spanking.

I like being locked into a device. I consider it very hot. It may contribute to the way an orgasm feels to me. The base ring forces my balls out away from my body. It’s impossible for me to forget I am wearing a device (even the locking cock ring). That guarantees my penis is always in my conscious awareness. I like that.

This is different than BEC. I would be aware of my penis when feeling horny. Other times I didn’t think about it at all. The device reminds me it is there. If I sit down without adjusting, my balls can end up under me. Since the base ring keeps my balls out in front of my body, they can’t retreat and escape. I’m reminded that I am locked into the device.

Enforced male chastity doesn’t just affect my ability to ejaculate. It also refocuses my sexual attention. BEC I was focused on ejaculating. I was horny and I needed to ejaculate. My arousal was directed toward my ability to ejaculate. Under enforced male chastity arousal is an objective of its own. Even when I’m directly stimulated by Mrs. Lion, I have no assurance it’s going to end up in ejaculation. In fact the vast majority of the time it doesn’t.

I’ve learned to refocus on the fun of climbing the arousal mountain, not getting over the top. It’s very different to me than it was when my goal was to get off. After years of enforced male chastity, I’m not sure that I haven’t also undergone some physical changes. It could well be that one of the reasons my orgasms are longer and more interesting is because I’m releasing hormones differently than I did when my goal was just to ejaculate.

In fairness, I have to say that it takes just as long for me to go from being very aroused to ejaculating as it did BEC. In that respect, there is no physical change. The only demonstrable change is the way my orgasm feels. I may never be able to explain why it changed. I guess it really doesn’t matter. I like my orgasms much better now.

Tuesday night was a surprise orgasm night. Mrs. Lion unlocked me and then after a while came over to snuggle. She spent a lot of time just holding me and playing with my nipples and chest. It felt really good and I wasn’t feeling particularly horny. Eventually, her hand drifted south and she began playing with my penis. Predictably, it rose to the occasion. I had a little sore spot. I think the Evotion chastity device may have rubbed a bit of skin. Mrs. Lion said that this sore spot was in about the same place as the one I had a week before. I’ll have to check the device to see if there isn’t a little bit of roughness in that area.

It took a little while to get my motor running. Once I was excited the tension built up quickly. I was near the edge when Mrs. Lion stopped. She waited and started again. She’s an expert at keeping me right at the brink of an orgasm. Finally, after pushing me to the edge a few times, she kept going and I had a wonderful orgasm. It had been a week since my last one. This is about the average wait time for me over the last year or so. When all the activity was done, Mrs. Lion told me she would leave me wild to allow the sore spot to heal. Also, there is little risk my hands will stray down into that forbidden territory so soon after I have ejaculated.

This month marks our sixth anniversary of starting this blog. I started it just a couple of months after Mrs. Lion took the keys to my male chastity device. It’s been a remarkable adventure. In this time we’ve written nearly 4100 posts. That makes us one of the largest sex blogs on the Internet. It’s also been a true journal recording our growth, challenges, joys, and sadness over these last years. Many readers have become remote members of our family. Both Mrs. Lion and I have posted nearly daily throughout this time.

When we travel on vacation, we sometimes find ourselves writing posts in our car parked outside of a fast-food joint. Other times, we do our writing in a restaurant. Most of the places we visit with our camper don’t have cell service or any Internet coverage. We find a way somehow. Frequently, that means we have to drive 15 or 20 miles for the nearest cell reception. We remain very committed to sharing our lives with you.

We’ve evolved quite a bit over these years. Things that seemed radical and almost impossible are now routine parts of our lives. For example, I am always naked when at home. The only exception is if it is too cold and I get to wear a T-shirt, or we have visitors. This is absolutely routine. I feel uncomfortable if I have to wear clothes at home. Mrs. Lion generally chooses to stay naked too. Since December 2013 I haven’t masturbated. This is probably the most radical change in my sex life. Prior to that, I had been masturbating since I was 11 years old. I never considered it wrong or dirty. It was something I did to relieve tension or to feel good.

On the night I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me in a male chastity device, the subject of masturbation came up. I think the discussion began in the context of edging. I told her that I had been masturbating about once a week since we had been together. She didn’t like that at all. She said that she had no idea I did it. She then announced that her first rule was that I must never masturbate again. I thought that was rather draconian and I wondered if I would be able to obey it. Of course, being locked in a chastity device took the decision to masturbate out of my hands.

As far as I know, very few men don’t masturbate. It’s easy and feels good. For the record, I haven’t masturbated once since Mrs. Lion made that rule. That brings me to a question: Wasn’t that rule the real beginning of our female led relationship? The fact that I asked her to lock me in a chastity device certainly gave her power over sex. So long as I was locked in I couldn’t masturbate on my own. But if I were ever wild, I could sneak in an ejaculation or two.

Along with her admonition about no more masturbation, Mrs. Lion made it very clear that she would consider a violation of this rule a very serious offense; almost like cheating with another woman. No penalties were discussed. She just let me know how serious she was about it.

I accepted her rule. It never occurred to me to question her authority to make it. I didn’t associate that rule with the fact that she became my keyholder. I didn’t think of it as part of anything. I just knew that it was something she told me not to do and therefore I wouldn’t do it. It was no different than the fact that I can’t wear clothes at home. Mrs. Lion says I can’t, so I can’t.

I don’t think either of us thought very much about what had happened. Mrs. Lion knew that I like the idea that she made a rule for me — the one about me being naked at home — and didn’t have a lot of feelings either way about enforcing it. Essentially she didn’t care. For the record, she cares now. The masturbation rule was different. She felt that I sexually pleasing myself without her was a betrayal. She let me know that. Neither of us considered discussing penalties for breaking it. I had the clear sense that if I jerked off, it would threaten our marriage. That’s how serious she was.

Looking back through the years, it’s easy to see that locking me in a male chastity device and forbidding me masturbation under any circumstances represented important first steps in a true female led relationship. There was no contract or even verbal agreement about who’s in charge. It was my act of surrendering sexual control by asking her to lock me in a chastity device and her assumption of authority by insisting I never masturbate again that established the FLR.

Both came out of needs unrelated to the desire of being in a disciplinary relationship. I found the idea of surrendering sexual control to Mrs. Lion and letting her lock me up as very hot. She figured I’d get tired of the chastity device and we’d stop fairly soon after we started. She, however, was very serious about forbidding my masturbation. I don’t think she saw this as an extension of male chastity. She was truly offended that I took sex into my own hands. She felt she had a right to insist I never do it again.

Looking through time, it’s easy to see that those two actions started something much larger. I offered to surrender something important to Mrs. Lion. It’s true, that I thought it was very sexily exciting to do so. That certainly helped me feel okay about asking her. She felt good about demanding I never jerk off again. It didn’t come out of a sense of authority over me. It came out of a kind of moral indignation. Regardless, she fully expected me to obey. I recognize that and accepted her rule.

That’s the beginning of what we have now. Sure, we had done BDSM play where she topped me. That was always limited to the scene we played. It never extended into day-to-day life. I did enjoy it when she took charge. That’s why she asked me to stay naked at home. She knew I liked feeling that bit of her authority.

What happened next is chronicled over the last six years in this blog. We struggled with how to build the sort of relationship that works for both of us. We made lots of mistakes. We learned a great deal. What we have now is something that evolved over all that time. I don’t think either of us would have believed where we would be on that night I asked her to lock me into a chastity device six years later. I don’t think Mrs. Lion could ever imagine how her authority grew over all that time. We didn’t need a contract. Perhaps the millions of words we’ve published here represent an evolving agreement for our very unique relationship.

Mrs. Lion is feeling her winter malaise. She spends weeks feeling like she’s about to come down with a cold but doesn’t quite get there. I feel sorry for her. This seems to happen every year in the deep, dark days of winter. To make things worse, she begins to feel guilty she isn’t doing enough for me. I try to let her know that I understand and can certainly manage the reduced level of attention I get.

This situation highlights one of the more difficult aspects of our sexual power exchange. Mrs. Lion does not want me to take matters into my own hands, so to speak. She likes owning all of my orgasms. As I’ve discovered more recently, she isn’t too happy about extracurricular erections either. When she let me remain wild, I did get myself hard once in a while. She didn’t exactly forbid it, but when I wrote about it she responded by saying she never permitted it either. Now that I am securely locked into a male chastity device, erections of any sort aren’t an issue.

By assuming total control of my sexual pleasure, has Mrs. Lion assumed responsibility for providing a certain amount of it? Certainly she doesn’t have to. There isn’t very much I can do about it. It’s not like I can sneak off and masturbate. Sometimes when I’m horny I get frustrated and a little grumpy. If that gets on her nerves she can cure the problem very quickly without unlocking my penis.

This has less to do with me than it does her. When she thinks she isn’t teasing me enough or providing me with enough sexual stimulation of any kind, I think she feels guilty. If that guilt motivates her I can generally sense it. I hate the way that feels. I don’t want to be anyone’s responsibility.

The problem is that there aren’t any reasonable alternatives available to her. She really doesn’t want me providing my own sexual entertainment and absolutely doesn’t want me near any other women. That means that any sex I get has to be provided by her. Should she change her position? Does she need an assistant who can sexually stimulate me when she is not feeling capable? Should she let me take things into my own hands?

I am pretty sure I know the answer to those questions. Sure, it’s a hot fantasy to imagine that she recruits another woman to masturbate me when she’s not feeling up to it. You know, an assistant lioness. Her assistant could also spank me when needed. That’s definitely a hot fantasy. There’s no way anything like that could work. Even if Mrs. Lion liked the idea, what would be in it for her assistant? There isn’t a long waiting list of females who want to spank me or jerk me off. There’s actually only one and she’s doing it now.

For better or worse, Mrs. Lion and I are monogamous. We are devoted to one another. I really don’t want anyone else even if it means I end up missing out sometimes. For the record, I don’t consider spanking the same as genital sex. I don’t know how Mrs. Lion feels about it. I spent many years in the BDSM community and I’ve spanked and been spanked by many women. For the record, I didn’t have sex as part of the activities.

I really like our exclusivity. I belong to her and only her. We are mates for life. Sooner or later Mrs. Lion will feel better and the fun will resume. In the meantime, I can hold her and she can hold me. I can wake up in the middle of the night and hear her snoring softly next to me. I can eat meals with her and can sometimes piss her off when I call one of her stories a soap opera.

Mrs. Lion waxed me yesterday. Since my last hair removal was only about a month ago, I wasn’t nearly as furry as I was at our last session. That made her job much easier. I now have no hair from my knees up to my neck. I do have hair on both arms, but none in my pits. I admit that I like the feeling of hairless skin. I particularly like it in the Brazilian area. One of the reasons I asked to be waxed this weekend is because I plan to prepare my review of the Evotion Orion male chastity device. I’ve been wearing it for a while and I think I have enough information to write an informed review.

Mrs. Lion removed the device in order to wax me. She decided to let me remain wild until after the big game yesterday. We had a snack after the game and then Mrs. Lion applied the Magic Wand vibrator to my penis. It felt very good but I just couldn’t get myself close to orgasm. I was breathing hard and moving but for some reason stuck again. After I finish writing this post, Mrs. Lion told me that she will be locking me up again.

I don’t think that I’m broken. There are just times when it’s difficult for me. It’s been 16 days (as of today) since my last orgasm. Could it be that I’ve passed a point when my interest declines? I don’t know. My frequency has gone down quite a bit. I had just two orgasms in December and two in January. Typically I have three or four in any given month. Maybe this is a new pattern for me. By the way, I’m sure I’m not broken. I’m dripping precum as I write this post. As soon as she finished with the vibrator, Mrs. Lion suggested I go write my post. I was a lot more excited than I thought.

Speaking of excitement, I fell asleep a few times during the Super Bowl. Neither of us is a fan of either Kansas City or San Francisco so the game was more just for the fun of watching football. I decided I would root for San Francisco and Mrs. Lion decided she would root for the Kansas City team. Her reasoning was that she considered Kansas City an underdog since it hasn’t won a Super Bowl in 50 years. I just like San Francisco because Chinatown and Fisherman’s Wharf are really good places to eat.

Before starting this post I also put the Evotion device into my ultrasonic cleaner. The finish was looking a little dull from accumulated body oils. It’s a good idea to use an ultrasonic cleaner every few weeks on a chastity device that’s worn continuously. Soap and water, even detergents, can’t really completely clean off the surfaces of a device. Amazon.com sells a variety of ultrasonic cleaners that are pretty inexpensive. It’s a reasonable investment if you wear a male chastity device full-time.

Even though I wasn’t able to get over the top last night, I’m still really horny. That should come as no shock. One of the big advantages I find in wearing a male chastity device is that it prevents me from getting an erection except after Mrs. Lion unlocks me. It seems like that causes me to store up my arousal. Even though I would never masturbate, getting hard does provide some sexual relief. I can’t explain it, but when I’m locked up it feels like my sexual battery is being charged with no opportunity to light up anything.

I’m sure you know that Kansas City won the Super Bowl. Mrs. Lion didn’t celebrate but seemed happy her team came through in the fourth quarter. I’m not disappointed at all. I’d still like a chance to go to Fisherman’s Wharf and have a nice fried sand dollar dinner.