Living with chastity

Let’s face it, we are all affected by the insanity around us. I spend too much of my time worrying about whether I will be called back to work from furlough. This is incredibly tiring. It may be depressing my interest in sex. I certainly have too much time to think about things. It’s probably not going to surprise you that I don’t spend a lot of my time thinking about male chastity. That’s a game with few rules and very easy for me to follow.

In fact, I don’t have to do anything. Mrs. Lion lets me stew in my own juices until she thinks I’m ready and then if I’m lucky, she will make me ejaculate. It’s fun, but not very complex. Similarly, wearing a chastity device is effortless as well. Once you have the size figured out and you find one that fits, all you have to do is wear it.

When we started male chastity, I wondered why I would want someone else to determine when I had a chance to enjoy sex. At that point, I was pretty tired of jerking off. I did that a couple of times a week. Mrs. Lion wasn’t particularly interested in sex. Again, not complicated even if it is frustrating. I did think that it could be fun to be sexually frustrated. I’m not sure that’s exactly right. It was exciting to anticipate the orgasm at the end of the tunnel. Being locked in a chastity device is pretty much like being a little kid waiting for Christmas. It’s all about anticipation. That’s why a wise keyholder will unlock her partner and tease him regularly. It’s like a visit to Santa. New dreams are created and anticipation grows.

Mrs. Lion seems to enjoy my reaction to being edged and then left sweating and panting. If I’m not in a chastity device, she knows that I have to control any impulse to finish the job myself. The penalty for doing that is very painful. Being edged is a little bit like being a kid looking for his presents. He finds some of them, shakes them, tests their weight, and then has to put them back untouched until Christmas. It’s fun and very frustrating.

Ultimately, enforced male chastity is a game designed to hold a man’s attention by controlling his penis. A lot of guys like it. Less, but still quite a few, women enjoy it too. There is a certain amount of fun in seeing how sexually frustrated she can get her partner. It’s the ultimate cock tease.

I like it when Mrs. Lion really gets into it. Sometimes she enjoys edging me day after day. Sure, it’s frustrating to me, but it’s also big fun. More recently, she plays with my penis pretty much every night. I don’t seem able to get to the edge in the early days after an orgasm. Eventually, she can get me to the edge. A day or two after I can be brought to the edge she gets me off. I think that it might be more fun if the wait-for-my-orgasm meter starts running after she can successfully edge me. I realize that will make my waiting longer, but I think we will both have more fun.

pick a card, any card

Lion's box of penalties
Lion’s Box O’Fun.

The most recent addition to this game is the Box O’ Fun. Now, I have to pick a card from the box and experience the “penalty” written on the card. That means there is a generally-painful price to pay before I can be teased. I think we are both enjoying this. Mrs. Lion isn’t being very strict about making me do everything that I pick. The other night, I picked “pegging”. I wasn’t in the mood, and as it turned out neither was she. So she let me pick another card. I think that’s fine. The point is that one way or another I’m going to get whatever it says on a card I pick.

After I pick a card, Mrs. Lion does not return it to the box. She puts it away. This way, I end up experiencing absolutely everything written on the cards in her box. It adds an element of suspense. When she thinks of new things, Mrs. Lion adds cards to the box. She doesn’t tell me that she’s done this. She used to have more than one card for some activities. These were things she particularly liked to do to me. Since we are doing this almost every night, I would too frequently pick the same activity on successive nights. This happened so often that we decided each activity would only be represented by one card.

I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion hasn’t thought about this, but there’s nothing to stop her from returning a card for an activity she particularly likes to the box after a few days pass. That way repeats would be spaced out and she would get to do the things she likes best. One card is a do-over card. This is like the “get out of jail free” card in Monopoly. If I pick that, I keep it. I can use it anytime I want. If I pick an activity I particularly hate, I can give Mrs. Lion the card and she will let me pick another activity. The card for the activity I hate goes back into the box. I am just postponing the inevitable.

There are a few anal activities in the box. When they’ve come up, Mrs. Lion and I have generally agreed to skip them for the night. It’s probably time to perform them when I pick them. I think one of the more interesting aspects of this particular play is that Mrs. Lion is free to edit and update the contents of the box at any time. That means I can’t be sure what’s left for me any night I pick a card.

It’s the BDSM version of male chastity. Mrs. Lion controls what will happen to me, but I control when it happens. That’s the effect of letting me pick from the box. Sooner or later Mrs. Lion will be using the roll-on Icy Hot on my balls. She will set a timer and I will have to endure the heat for at least that long. She also has a card for a different brand of hot stuff. It turns out that it’s just as fearsome as the maximum-strength Icy Hot. I never know how much she will apply.

Sometimes she “paints” a racing stripe from the bottom of my perineum all the way up to the base of my penis. She follows the seam on my balls. If it’s a narrow stripe, it’s much easier to endure. If she decides to slather a lot on and cover my perineum and most of my scrotum, I’m in for a very nasty, hot time. How thickly she lays it on determines how long it will keep burning me. She doesn’t have to set a timer. She can just make me wait it out. Both of those products start losing their heat from 15 to 30 minutes after they are applied. Mrs. Lion is perfectly capable of slathering a thick coating on when she wants. She’s done it before and I’m sure she will do it again.

Our experience with domestic discipline has hardened Mrs. Lion’s BDSM play. She knows that I want this and is very unlikely to react sympathetically to my expressions of discomfort. As a disciplinary wife, she has learned to spank me without regard for my reactions. She judges the intensity and duration of my spankings by a standard that’s known only to her. I no longer have any input it all. All I can do is stay in position.

The same is true of the Box O’ Fun. She performs the activity without any particular interest in my reaction. That’s not exactly true. I think she carefully observes me. However, she doesn’t let my objections stop her. She’s going to go on until she decides she is finished. That’s lioness 3.0!

You know the trite meme, “Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.” I’m proof that the old saw is true. I wanted enforced male chastity. I wanted Mrs. Lion to own my sexual pleasure. The idea of her teasing me and making me wait to ejaculate was the hottest fantasy I could imagine. Here I am, nearly seven years later. I can’t have an orgasm she doesn’t provide. It’s no longer a matter of being locked up in a chastity device. I’m conditioned not to be able to ejaculate unless she stimulates me.

I asked for it!

I wrote post after post about how I imagined life would be with Mrs. Lion as my keyholder. She read what I said, but didn’t necessarily do what I wrote.

I also wanted to be spanked. I wanted spankings I would hate. I craved domestic discipline with Mrs. Lion in charge. She experimented with the concept. It took a long time and we evolved more than just adopting a disciplinary relationship. I wrote endlessly about how I saw it working. Mrs. Lion read my posts and then did what she wanted.

That’s the point, isn’t it? She wasn’t supposed to be an actor in a play I wrote. She was to be my disciplining wife. The feedback I gave told her that her punishments needed to be stronger if they were to teach me. For a long time, it seemed like she wasn’t going to be that harsh.

Then she was.

I can’t pinpoint when it happened, but in the very recent past Mrs. Lion decided to give me what I had been asking her to do: her spankings became total misery for me. I hated them from the first swat to the last. When I forgot that last Saturday was punishment day, I was truly unhappy at what I knew was coming.

My spanking was pure pain. I know, it’s supposed to be. However, they generally hurt, but I don’t fear them.

I do now!

She’s not done. I know that one of the “wishes” I made was for a spanking to hurt for days after getting it. Sunday’s fearsome beating left no lasting discomfort. That means Mrs. Lion’s work isn’t done. Based on our recent conversations, she has adopted my wish as one of her goals.

Another unfortunate wish was that she disregards any complaints, screams, sobs, or other protests during a spanking. She would only honor our safeword, “red”. That wish has come true. On Sunday she was unstoppable. I squirmed and kicked. I screamed and tried to roll away. None of it did any good. Mrs. Lion wouldn’t stop until she was done.

I don’t think I ever felt that out of control before. I always imagined I could convince Mrs. Lion to adjust if I was too unhappy with my beating. My wish was that I wouldn’t be able to do this; that she would spank me more if she felt I was trying to escape my punishment.

That’s what happened on Sunday.

Mrs. Lion made a point of bringing me back for more. Much more. It was no fun at all. It was really punishment. She said that she had to be harsher since I haven’t seemed to learn very well with less severe spankings.

I can’t argue with that.

I know she can make spankings even worse if she wants. She probably will since she would like to make that old wish of mine come true: lasting discomfort for days afterward.

Stupid Lion!

It’s the beginning of June. The stats are in. So far this year I’ve had 15 orgasms. . At the same time in 2019, my total was 22. That’s a decrease of 32%. If I keep going at this same reduced rate, I will end up having 35 orgasms this year. This will average an orgasm every 10 days. My 2019 average was 6 days. So far this year I’ve had 10 blow jobs and five handjobs. This is a distinct improvement over last year when I had 68% handjobs and 32% blow jobs. Mrs. Lion says she’s finding it easier to get me off orally. I’m delighted with this turn of events.

I’ve been tracking my releases since 2016. I decided to do it because neither of us was very good at remembering how long I had been waiting. I’ve been keeping a spreadsheet of my orgasms so that I would be able to remind her and myself of where we stand. Mrs. Lion has written that she thinks an orgasm every 7 to 10 days makes the most sense. In the past, she’s never suggested any specifics. She said that she preferred getting me off whenever the mood struck. She says she doesn’t keep track. She’s been very consistent this year. I’ve only had one very long wait due to my stomach problem. Other than that only once or twice did I wait less than a week.

Part of this may be my biology. It takes much longer to get me off. In fact, it takes a lot of work if she tries in less than a week. I know she can make it happen if she wishes, but then as she likes to say she’s in no hurry. She also suggests that if I really wanted to come, I would in much less time. I’m not so sure of that. However, she is the boss.

Since I have more time on my hands, I’ve been looking around the web for good information on disciplinary relationships. I really haven’t found much. Even the almost-religiously followed Disciplinary Wives Club drops into catering to male fantasies here and there. I’m thinking about working with Mrs. Lion to write a “Disciplinary Wives Handbook”. My idea is to make it useful to women who have been asked to become disciplinary wives.

The goal is to separate the reasons we males suggest this change in our relationships from the practical realities our wives need to adopt. Since Mrs. Lion and I have been in a disciplinary relationship for about five years now, and we’ve documented our evolution, I think we’re in a good position to offer useful information. My plan is to add it as a feature on this website. That way it will be freely available to anybody who wants to read it.

A few of our readers have commented that they no longer can “Like” our posts and comments. Some post-reading software still allows likes but we don’t display them on the site. I discontinued them because few people bothered to express an opinion. I like it better this way. We still have sharing buttons that allow sending links on various social networks.

Mrs. Lion and I aren’t very active on social networks. We have a Twitter account for this site and I have one personally. Mrs. Lion has one too, but doesn’t really visit. I read my twitter account regularly and sometimes comment beyond the tweets about our posts. The best way to communicate with us is via comments on the posts or “Contact Us“.

Male Chastity, at least wearing a chastity device, is a sort of sexual game. It’s exciting and fun for the man wearing the device. The rules are simple: He gets locked into the device (or she locks him in). She has the keys. He can’t get any sexual pleasure until she unlocks him. Most people who do this play for a day or a weekend at a time. While he is locked up, she keeps him as horny as she can. Guys love it.

penis in chastity device

Most of the fantasies are a lot more complex. The reality is that simple. Some men, like me, end up in a chastity device for a very long time. At some point it stops being a game and becomes something more.

The key power exchange, whether for a weekend or forever, is the transfer of sexual control to the keyholder. Most men masturbate their entire lives. We jerk off when we are horny and a partner isn’t available. Yes, we prefer sex with our partners, but a hand will do if one isn’t available at the moment.

Our partners are sexual chocolate. We can live without it, but much prefer it if we can get it. The key is that we don’t depend on our partners for sex. We just prefer it. Male chastity changes that. The chastity device makes masturbation very difficult. The game of wearing the device makes it dumb to defeat the hardware. For most of us it’s the first time in our lives that we can’t take care of business ourselves.

Mrs. Lion didn’t know I jerked off until I asked her to lock me into a chastity device. I told her that I had been masturbating two or three times a week. She wasn’t that interested in sex and was either giving me a handjob or oral sex about once a month. Apparently she thought that was the only sex I was getting. She was surprised and a little upset to learn that I jerked off.

She agreed to lock me in the male chastity device and also made me agree to never jerk off again. I was surprised she felt so strongly about it. To this day, almost seven years later, I haven’t jerked off. She won’t even let me do it under her supervision. Chastity device or no chastity device, it’s paws off for me.

Unknowingly, we stumbled on to the most important benefit of male chastity. It wasn’t the power exchange or the teasing. It had nothing to do with the popular fantasies. It was much more basic than that: I am completely dependent on Mrs. Lion for sexual release. I can’t ejaculate unless she does what it takes to make me come. She lets me make myself hard if I want, but that’s it. If she won’t get me off, I don’t get to ejaculate.

Most women don’t think of this as particularly profound. Many women don’t masturbate, or if they do, it is because they don’t have a sexual partner. Men masturbate whether or not they are in a sexual relationship. Many of us don’t think of jerking off as sex. It’s just a release of tension. That’s why becoming totally dependent on someone else for release is such a big deal.

I wore a chastity device continuously for three years. It only came off when Mrs. Lion wanted to tease me or make me ejaculate. She made sure she had full sexual control of my penis. The device came off for a while because I had some surgeries. More recently, I’m not locked up most of the time. It doesn’t matter. She broke me of the habit of jerking off.

Regardless of any sexual games that might be played using male orgasm control, when practiced the way we do it, a new physical bond is formed. We have always been in love and will stay together as long as we live. That was true while I was jerking off. Now, my total dependency on Mrs. Lion for sexual release brings us closer on a physical level.

She knows  I need release and whether or not she is interested in sex for herself, knows that I depend on her. She also knows it is fun for both of us if she teases me and makes me wait to ejaculate. Aside from the fun aspect, it serves to remind us both of her sexual control. That control is the real basis of male chastity and, as it turns out for us, a great benefit.