Living with Lion

Lion managed to stay awake watching TV last night. He wanted to watch the new Lion King movie. I’m partial to the original one mostly because of the actors who lent their voices to it. But also the stampede scene was the first time I ever really wanted to buy the video as soon as it came out. For the kids, of course. Yeah. For them.

Last night Lion asked if the cage could go back on so he can finish his Review. My stomach was reacting to the greasy dinner we’d had and the thought of wrestling with the cage was not high on my list of things I wanted to do. Then he said he didn’t just want the cage on. He wants pictures of it going on. Ah. Yeah, last night was not the time to do that. I promised to do it this morning. And this morning he said he was in no hurry to have the cage back on. He likes being wild.

It’s enough to make my head spin. He wants it on. He doesn’t want it on. It helps him. It doesn’t help him. He wants me to decide but he wants it on. But he wants it off. I should decide. But it’s nice to have on. And it’s nice to have off. Around and around we go.

When he got the new cage he put it on himself. Fair enough. He was excited to finally get it. I never said he couldn’t put a cage on himself. I only ever said he couldn’t take it off except under emergency situations. Then he didn’t like having an emergency key. I suppose with a non-metal cage it doesn’t matter so much. He can be extracted much more easily than with a metal cage.

Since he was in the cage, and it seemed to be helping him get to the edge, I decided he should be in the cage. He wrote that he likes the control and he knows if the cage is on he shouldn’t expect sex, but if it’s off he can expect some sort of play. Fair enough. And then the sore spot developed.

I’m positive the sore spot had nothing to do with the construction of the cage. It didn’t rub. I’m sure I pinched Lion when I was putting it on. I saw the mark the next time I took him out. It swelled a little and between the sensitive skin and warm conditions in the cage, it got more irritated. Leaving the cage off seemed the prudent thing to do. Except now he’s back to liking being wild.

I know he’ll be happy if I leave the cage off. I also know he’ll be unhappy if I leave the cage off. See above. Maybe, barring any more sore spots, I should come up with a schedule. Three weeks caged and one week wild. Two weeks on and two weeks off. Lion likes schedules. That might help him. When he’s caged and wishing he was wild, he can count the days till freedom. When he’s wild and wishing he was caged, we can count the days till lockup. I have no idea if this will work. I have no idea what schedule would be best. I’m just looking for ways to keep him happy even if it seems he has no idea what will make him happy.

I live with a silly Lion.

I have so many things to do around here and I haven’t been feeling well. I was sure that I didn’t want to wax Lion yesterday, but since it takes two days to accomplish, I had to start yesterday and finish today. Once the Tylenol kicked in it wasn’t so bad. I may have even figured out how to do his legs so I don’t leave bruises. That doesn’t mean I want to do his whole leg. I did from mid-thigh up. The front side of the Lion is fur free. Today I tackle the back side. Generally there’s less fur so I hope it will go more quickly.

During our waxing session, with Lion pointing out places I missed and which way I should pull the wax to get that hair, I told him he’s high maintenance. I’ve thought it for a while, especially when it comes to hair removal, but I don’t think I actually ever said it. It’s not necessarily a complaint, although he’ll take it as one. I consider him high maintenance sometimes when he wants to go out for dinner and I don’t. Or if he insists on doing something a certain way. My way would have been just as good, but we had to get there his way.

I like to think of myself as low maintenance. I don’t spend hours in the bathroom getting ready. From beginning to end, I can get be out the door in as little as ten minutes if I need to. I’ve showered the night before. We both do. All I need to do is brush my teeth, get dressed, brush my hair, put on deodorant, grab my phone and keys, and I’m set. What’s for dinner? Soup. Sandwich. Eggs. Works for me. Lion’s lament that there’s nothing to eat usually means there’s nothing here he wants to eat. We could survive off the food in the freezer for weeks if nothing had to match with anything else. Hot dogs with hash browns? Why not?

Maybe my low maintenance is actually high maintenance from Lion’s point of view. He apologizes when I’m ready first because he thinks he’s slowing me down. Most of the time he’s not. When he says, “There’s just one more thing I need to do”, that slows me down. Let’s put that in perspective though. Getting ready implies we’re going out. Going out is generally something I’d rather not do. I’m a homebody. The longer it takes us to get out, the longer it takes us to get back. Should we stop somewhere for lunch? We could eat home. What’s at home to eat? There’s nothing to eat.

Yes, you guessed it. This is just one more way we’re different. It’s a good thing we let our love develop organically. If we had done any charts with pros on one side and cons on the other, we’d never have gotten together.

Later on, I’ll wax the back side of my high maintenance Lion. The laundry will get done. I don’t know how much of the rest of the list will be crossed off, but we’ll deal with that organically too.

Lion doesn’t like when I refer to him as a toddler or a child. However, there are times when he acts like one. And I am certainly not the only woman to refer to her significant other as a toddler or child, in or out of a female led relationship. Sex is most definitely a time when he does it. He wants what he wants when he wants it. Last night was no exception.

First, let me say that I had my own meltdown the other day. I tend to do it on the way to or from work, by myself, in my mind. Between the power being out, my being the one responsible for most of the heavy lifting because of Lion’s recent health issues, missing work because of the power outage and Lion’s recent doctor visits, as well as his making me late for work because I had to mail a package for him, I was ready for a “me” day. Lion doesn’t understand “me” days. He wants us to be together all the time. Of course, he has plenty of “me” time since he works from home so much and can vegetate more often than I can. I don’t have any plans on my “me” days. I’d just like to be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it without influence from outside forces. A spa day without the spa, if you will. And this has nothing to do with not loving Lion any more or loving him less. Sometimes people just need alone time to regroup.

With all the heavy lifting and running around, I’ve been achy lately. Yesterday my back hurt. Nothing major. Muscle soreness, etc. I work half days on Fridays and I like to vegetate for part of the day. But the dog had a bath appointment, so no rest for me. I dropped her off because Lion was snoozing. I messed around on the computer for a little while before we had to pick her up. When we got home it was time for dinner so I started getting it ready and Lion took over. I wanted to sit down for a while but I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Lion to cook since his knee randomly gives out. When it came time to clean up, I did it because I don’t want Lion falling.

Once I get comfortable, I’d like to stay that way. When Lion asked if we could snuggle, I managed to move over to him. After a little while he wondered if I was going to make him hard. He’d mentioned earlier that he was horny. I decided if I was going to make him hard, I was not going to edge him. I keep telling him that’s one of my goals. I want to get him excited, without getting him to the edge, and just leave him hanging. To me, it’s far different from edging him. If I edge him, he thinks he’s going to come. If I just tease him, he never even gets the “satisfaction” of thinking he’s going to come. Since my back hurt, I didn’t want to have to sit up to edge him. I just got him very hard and stopped. He was not amused. Too bad.

Now this is after I read his post for this morning about his not even being allowed to say he’s horny. He thinks he should say he wants to ejaculate and leave it up to me whether or not I make it happen. (Silly me. I thought it was up to me whether or not I make it happen.) I said I didn’t think I liked that idea. He told me to think about it. That’s Lion code for: you’ll see, we’ll do it my way. Except, I like when he tells me he’s horny. I don’t really want to reduce it to clinical terms. That seems very impersonal. He might as well have a spanking machine, a sex doll and something to masturbate him.

I can deal with Toddler Lion, but sometimes he’s not going to get what he wants when he wants it. He can be horny. He can want orgasms. I’m not a machine and we’re not going to be clinical. I’m putting my paw down.

[Lion — I don’t remember saying I was horny. I did say I wanted to get hard. In terms of the ideas I expressed earlier, I accept that Mrs. Lion doesn’t want to go that way. I’m more than fine with that. In fact, my post tomorrow is on that very subject.]

sad lion
I’m not a happy camper.

Day 25 came and went. I wasn’t interested. Sex just isn’t interesting right now. I really didn’t expect to lose interest, especially since I was being edged daily. But, at day 23 I just didn’t care. I’m not sure how interesting my loss of libido is to anyone, especially me. I’m sure that it’s temporary. At least, I hope it is.

Part of the reason for it is most likely my allergies. They have been acting up, leaving me itchy and uncomfortable. When my body is unhappy, interest in sex quickly fades. Mrs. Lion has been working hard to remove dog fur and other potential allergens. Her efforts have helped but haven’t erased my discomfort. I’m not sleeping much due to the itching. No wonder I’m not particularly interested in getting off.

Enforced male chastity only works if the male wants the sex he is being prevented from having. The game simply won’t work if he doesn’t want to play. So, we aren’t playing. We talk, watch TV and follow our daily routines. Boring lions.

All this is my fault. Mrs. Lion is ready and willing to tease me and even give me a chance to ejaculate. I’m just not ready. This goes against all common knowledge about male sexuality. We’re supposed to be in continuous heat. The longer the time since the last orgasm, the more desperate we are supposed to get. That isn’t true of me.

For the first couple of weeks, I did get hornier and really wanted to come. After that, I simply enjoyed the edging and stopped worrying about ejaculating. Then, after three weeks, I stopped caring about any of it. Coincidentally, my allergies flared. It’s too easy to blame them for my loss of interest.

Mrs. Lion suggested that I’m just in one of my cycles of low libido. That’s possible as the reason. If it is, my interest will grow on its own.

I’m concerned that what’s happening to me is going to be difficult to overcome. Perhaps I’ll join the ranks of guys who mask loss of interest with bravado; bragging about how strong they are to not come in a long time. I’m not proud of the length of this wait. True, it is a way for Mrs. Lion to flex her power muscles. She wanted to do an experiment and her predicted outcome: my loss of interest happened. It doesn’t feel good to me. I don’t think she likes her experimental success either.

The next stated phase of this experiment is to revive my sexual interest. I don’t think she has a plan to do it. I hope she comes up with one. This latest phase makes me sad. Even if it is temporary, my loss of libido hurts. I was designed to be in heat. Right now I’m not. I don’t even have a chastity device locked on so that I pretend it is keeping me from sex. I am wild. I have no excuses. Well, I’m itchy. That feels pretty weak to me.

Today is the 26th day. I’m keeping track just because it is something to do. Now Mrs. Lion is wondering when I will come. It’s a fine mess we’ve gotten into.