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In: Domestic discipline, Male Chastity, Spanking
With: 4 Comments

So much has changed in the last ten years. In February, we celebrated this blog’s tenth anniversary. That also means it’s been over ten years since I’ve masturbated. That’s right, not one self-induced orgasm in over a decade. I’ve been true to the name of this blog. Of course, that doesn’t mean I haven’t had orgasms. I have. Mrs. Lion gives them to me when she decides I deserve them.

Mrs. Lion has complete control over my sex life. She also has the right to punish me if she feels I need correcting. This has evolved over the years. We don’t live in a full-time BDSM lifestyle with Mrs. Lion as dominatrix; far from it. We are a loving couple with a few, shall we say, adjustments in our marriage. We are both happy with how it works.

Fellow bloggers have evolved as well. A few have been forced to change because of the death of a beloved partner. Others have reversed roles. Spankers have become spankees. Tops are now bottoms. Menopause has slowed or stopped the sex drive of some women, including Mrs. Lion. Adjustments had to be made and written about. Sadly, some blogs have faded away completely. One or two had massive ego attacks and moved to pay-to-read platforms.

Blogging can become time-bound. A topic can be beaten to death. More often than not, the position of some sex bloggers becomes frozen in a fantasy they struggle to live. This seems particularly true in the domestic discipline blogosphere. That’s too bad. Real-life power exchange is a rare and interesting topic.

Mrs. Lion and I think about what we are doing. We both understand that we couldn’t live under a totally female-controlled marriage. The pressure on Mrs. Lion would be too great. I am way too much of a type-A personality to submit that way. I’m pretty sure that no marriage can flourish under an authoritarian model with either partner in complete control.

If you read some of the longer-surviving domestic discipline blogs you will find that most are marriages like ours. The male partner is active and shares control over marital matters with his wife. Domestic discipline comes in when he breaks a behavioral rule. Invariably, he is punished by being spanked. That’s how it works in our house as well.

Zooming out from the rhetoric, it’s interesting to observe that spanking and only spanking is used to punish the errant husband. Much more effective punishments like grounding and removal of privledges never get used. I think this is very significant. While most of the practitioners (the guys) insist they have purely disciplinary relationships, they overlook the obvious fact that spanking is probably one of the least effective correctional tools a wife can have.

A week or two without TV, early bedtime, and grounding are much more effective. The selection of spanking as the only punishment comes from the men. A very large percentage of adults have spanking fantasies, most as the person being spanked. Spanking has a strong sexual connection. There is a desire to be spanked. I have it, and so do they.

Don’t get me wrong, the use of spanking and its sexual connection doesn’t invalidate domestic discipline. It just explains why so many men want it. Over the years, consistent application of the paddle has caused me to change. The changes aren’t huge, but they are indisputable. I have to admit that I’m very surprised that I changed.

The most obvious is that I went from regularly spilling food on my shirt to almost never doing it. I didn’t try to change. I got spanked every time I did it. Within a month or two the spankings for spills were getting very infrequent. Spanking worked to change me.

From my reading, I’ve learned that spanking won’t cure more serious problems like anger issues and alcoholism. It will moderate disagreeable behavior. The key is consistent enforcement of rules. Only when Mrs. Lion spanked me each and every time I broke a rule, was change effected. It didn’t matter that spanking has a sexual overtone. It hurts and is humiliating. Yes, it turns me on to think about it. To my surprise, my unconscious works hard to avoid more spankings. I change without conscious effort.

This brings up another issue that the domestic discipline guys have a bit of trouble explaining in a disciplinary context. Many of us need regular spankings out of an inner need. I think it’s sexual, but maybe for some, it isn’t. The point is that once I nearly stopped breaking any rules and spankings became less and less frequent, I missed them. I need to be spanked whether or not I earned it by breaking a rule.

This need is usually rationalized as a “maintenance” spanking that reminds the man what happens if he is naughty. We call them “Just Because” spankings that are given “just because” I probably did something I shouldn’t and got caught. We both know that’s not really the reason. I need spankings to recharge some deep-seated sexual battery.

That’s what drives the domestic discipline crowd nuts. How can something with deep sexual roots also be a legitimate punishment? It can, and it is. No matter what sexual need spanking meets for me, when I get punished I know it is for doing something I shouldn’t. Humans are complex creatures who are capable of getting more than one message from a single activity.

We tried making disciplinary spankings more severe than “Just Because” spankings. That didn’t work for me. All spankings I receive meet a minimum severity level. The only time that changes is when I break more than one rule and am punished in a single session. My minimum spanking is ten minutes long. Each additional offense adds five minutes. I hate it when that happens.

I think Mrs. Lion is more severe when she punishes me. That’s fair. She needs to satisfy herself that I get the message. We never discuss this. I can’t confirm that she changes the intensity of her punishment. It’s just my perception.

Over the years, I’ve asked Mrs. Lion to punish me (spank) if I annoy her. She hasn’t been very successful at this. For a long time I wondered why this is so difficult for her. I think it comes down to the way she thinks about punishing me. If she believed that she was in a position of authority, spanking me for upsetting her would be no different than punishing me for not doing a chore. After all, she doesn’t mind spanking me, so why not do it when I piss her off?

The answer is that she doesn’t want to be unfair. She worries that her upset may be due to more than my behavior. If I forget a chore, there is no question that I earned a spanking. She’s happy to deliver one to punish me. Even though I’ve repeatedly said I am fine getting punished even if the circumstances may be cloudy or unfair, she still can’t do it. She is happy to give me “Just Because” spankings, which aren’t tied to any infraction, but unable to beat me if I make her snarl at me. I hope that will change over time.

Right now, I am rule-free. The spankings I’m getting are to recharge my sexual battery. We both agree that we want to restore the disciplinary aspects. Mrs. Lion is thinking about how to do this in our new house. In the meantime, she promises very frequent spankings “Just Because.”

By:
In: Male Chastity, Spanking

I was too cold after my shower on Monday to ride the spanking bench. I’m grateful that Mrs. Lion didn’t force me to lie shivering in place for my punishment. I suggested that spanking me before I shower would help me avoid freezing. It isn’t very cold in the house. I’m finding it difficult to feel warm this winter.

I’ll review the Mature Metal waist chain and a micro (1/2 inch) cage. I’ll also be trying it with my trusty Jail Bird. It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a male chastity device. It seems that the industry isn’t coming up with new ideas in penis bondage. That’s not a bad thing. Male chastity devices have been evolving since the 1990s.

If you’re wondering why that decade is so significant in male chastity, you need to consider the development of online communication. The 90’s was when newsgroups began. Newsgroups were forums hosted by universities and other non-profit institutions. Before the Internet, you had to dial in to a service to access it. Networks were evolving that allowed a local call to reach a national service.

Anyway, during this formative period, people used the medium for communication about sex. The famous alt.sex.spanking was a very hot group to join. Others began talkng about male chastity. There were lots of homemade devices being created. The objective was not only to prevent masturbation, but also to be escape proof.  Chastity belts were popular-if-expensive devices.

In the late 90’s along with the Internet, came the introduction of the CB2000, the first over-the-counter male chastity device. The original ones were handmade from acrylic rods and tubing . I have one. Later, they were injection molded. The Internet made it possible to learn about these small companies who made male chastity devices. Lots of guys made some extra money creating them. I tried and reviewed more than I care to count.

In the last decade, male chastity devices have evolved. Comfort trumps security. Better designs and new manufacturing techniques helped designers create better devices. If you look back through our archives, you can see some of that evolution. To my mind, the most significant change has been the realization that short cages work better for most men. The short cages assure that the urethra is always centered in the opening that allows spray-free urination.

Some men have a problem with attempted erections pushing their cages away from their bodies and causing the base ring to painfully squeeze their balls. The waist chain prevents this painful problem. It holds the base ring firmly against the body. This also prevents “pull out.” It significantly improves security. The very short cages can be a little too easy to escape. The waist chains need to be tight and can be a little uncomfortable.

I guess there are only so many ways to build a penis container. Most have been created. I’m always open to discovering new devices when they come out. There just haven’t been any in quite a while.

By:
In: Male Chastity, Spanking
There are over 3,000 images of my cock and ass on our site. Left–my bottom after a mild 2014 spanking. Right–my cock in it’s first male chastity device, a Chinese cage.

Our website is completing its first decade (the actual start date was February 2014). I would have never guessed that Mrs. Lion and I would be writing almost 6,500 posts so far. I’m particularly amazed since these posts are almost exclusively about a small area of my body between my belly button and my legs. We’ve published over 3,500 images of those parts of my anatomy. Almost ten million people have seen them. That’s pretty amazing, don’t you think? I would have never guessed there would be that much to write and show about my cock and butt. I certainly wouldn’t have guessed that so many people would be interested. Who knew?

lion's penis in jail bird male chastity device
One-inch Jail Bird

We started male chastity in December 2013. It began with a few cheap Chinese male chastity devices that I found on Amazon. None fit comfortably enough for long-term wear. The first models had hinged base rings. The hinges were protected by a bit of latex tubing. They irritated the hell out of me. My first custom cage was a Mature Metal Jail Bird. Over the last ten years, it’s proven to be the most comfortable and easiest-to-wear male chastity device. I’ve reviewed quite a few different devices over the years. The Jail Bird is still my favorite.

urethra view in male chastity device
My urethra nicely centered in my cage.

Male chastity has evolved over the last decade. I’d like to think that I had something to do with the changes. I think the most significant development is the nearly-universal switch to short cages. In 2013, there were no devices less than two inches long. Instructions were to measure the flaccid penis but avoid the extra-short cold water size. I discovered that unless the head of my cock were firmly pressed into the end of the male chastity device, my urethra would “wander” and end up straddling one of the bars at the end of the cage. That caused urine to spray everywhere. When I changed the length of my cage so it was short enough to guarantee contact, all was well. I learned that I could comfortably wear a one-inch-long Jail Bird.

I wrote a lot about this discovery. Over the next few years, over-the-counter male chastity device makers like Holy Trainer began selling short cages. Their Nano series is under one inch long. The long straggler in the custom cage world was Mature Metal, the company that makes the wonderful Jail Bird. That’s changed. Now they offer some of their lines in “mini+–one inch, and “micro”–one-half inch cages. I’ll be reviewing one of the micro models with an unusual twist. Stay tuned.

spanked butt
By May of 2022, Mrs. Lion was comfortable doing this to my bottom.

Somewhere along the line, we began a female-led relationship (FLR). It features spanking as the primary punishment. It took Mrs. Lion several years to get into the disciplinary head space and feel comfortable about spanking me. We’re at the point where she is comfortably brushing my bottom as needed. She is also much more comfortable punishing me for breaking the rules. Our nearly daily posts do a good job of documenting this evolution.

Domestic discipline has improved our marriage. We accidentally learned that my behavior changed due to consistent punishment. One of my very first rules was not to spill food on my shirt. I did that a lot, and Mrs. Lion figured it would be good training for us both because it would get me spanked often. It did; for a while. Without any conscious effort on my part, I stopped spilling on my shirt. My behavior changed. The same thing happened with other rules. After a bunch of punishment spankings for breaking them, I improved.

I still do things that annoy Mrs. Lion. She has had a lot of trouble punishing me for subjective offenses like interrupting her or acting like a know-it-all. She knows that if she consistently punishes me for doing something, I will improve, but something inside her gets in the way. She knows that I want and need her paddles. Spanking is important to me. Still, it’s a problem punishing me for upsetting her. Maybe fixing that is for the next decade.

I’m grateful to her for making such a gigantic effort to make me happy. I’m also grateful to you for sharing our  adventures.

Happy New Year!

By:
In: Male Chastity, Sex
woman masturbating

We were supposed to try for an orgasm again on Monday night. Instead, we watched our Giants win over the Packers. It was an interesting game with another NFL cliffhanger ending. Mrs. Lion keeps writing about spanking me but doesn’t seem in the mood to swat me. Her shoulders have been hurting, which has something to do with the delay. Yes, I know I’m going to regret reminding her here.

I’m going to be testing a new custom male chastity device. It’s the Mature Metal Micro Watchful Mistress male chastity device. It’s a tiny 1/2-inch-long cage with a flat front. What makes this one particularly interesting is that it includes a waist chain that prevents pull-out. One issue with very short cages is that they can be easy to escape. The waist chain holds it firmly against the body and prevents that temptation. William, who makes these devices, says that the chain gives him a sense of security and is comfortable to wear.

I’m a strong advocate of comfort over security when it comes to wearing a male chastity device. If you can’t work, play, and sleep while wearing one, you probably won’t be wearing it for long. As I’ve discovered, the real benefit of enforced male chastity comes after long-term wear. I’ve been successfully trained not to masturbate. It’s been a decade (as of today) since the last time I jerked off. The change was facilitated by full-time male chastity device wear.

When Mrs. Lion learned that I masturbated, she was unhappy. She never imagined I did it. For my part, I thought she knew. Her first rule was that I couldn’t masturbate. Since I was immediately locked into a male chastity device, and it only came off in her presence, masturbation was impossible. After about three years of full-time lockup, I was cured. Do I get a ten-year chip for keeping my hands off? [Mrs. Lion — For the record, I guess I wasn’t unaware that he did it. Maybe it was more the frequency that surprised me.]

I’ve wondered if Mrs. Lion was unique in not being aware that men jerked off, even after they married. I’ve also wondered how many women care if men do it. My ex-wife encourged me to jerk off when she wasn’t in the mood for sex. Sometimes she would tickle my balls while I did it.

I never gave any thought to whether or not any of my partners masturbated. I don’t think any did. It seems to be more of a male activity. I’d love to hear from our female readers about their opinions on this subject. Leave a comment or a Contact Us. Thanks!