Lion has been trying a new masturbation machine. He said it wasn’t as good as I am. Just to be sure he doesn’t forget that, I gave him a blow job. It didn’t require the massage table. I just had him lie across the bed as usual. And then his very own, live masturbation machine went to work.

The machine may have different settings and suction levels, but so do I. The difference is that he doesn’t have to adjust the settings. I do that as I listen to his noises and feel his movements. In all fairness, with the air conditioner on, it was difficult to hear him. I had to rely on movement. I think I did a pretty good job. I got him all the way to an orgasm. I know he hadn’t waited all that long between orgasms, but he doesn’t always have to. I wanted to see if he would give me some cream filling. In addition to having a satisfying orgasm, he did give a little taste of cream filling. Yum!

His past few orgasms have been “weird”. I don’t know exactly what that means. He wasn’t able to explain it. All I know is that it could have been better. Last night’s was. I hope that means he’s back to normal with regard to orgasms. I like his cream filling and I want him to enjoy coming.

Our excessive heat warning is set to expire tonight at 9 pm. However, tomorrow is going to be 86. While it’s true that’s seventeen degrees cooler than the 103 it was yesterday, it’s still pretty hot. I’m not sure it will be cool enough in the pantry to wax Lion. We may have to wait another day. This time around, it will take longer because I want to wax Lion’s legs too. I don’t mind his hairy legs, but they’ve taken on a life of their own. The hair is very thick, and it looks out of place with his naked body. It may even take two days/nights to get done. Normally, his back side doesn’t take long at all. But with the addition of the legs, it will take a lot longer. Legs are a pain in the neck to wax. Let’s tentatively schedule it for Tuesday night and Wednesday night. It will be cooler and both nights mean I don’t have to rush to get it all done.

[Lion — I never cared much about removing my leg hair. My thighs always look a bit unnatural when the hair just starts a short distance from my balls. I agree that I look better with bare legs. What do you think?]

Yesterday, I continued unloading things from the camper. I moved the car out of the way so I could take the truck to a car wash. It’s been sitting for a long time and, to paraphrase a rolling stone gathering no moss, a stationary truck gathers gunk. Dirt and algae and whatever other gross stuff grew all over it. I knew a car wash wouldn’t get all of it, but I had to start somewhere. Two runs through the automatic car wash and about $10 in the do-it-yourself car wash to get into all the nooks and crannies, and it finally looked like a somewhat clean vehicle. Then the fun started.

I already had a light on for tire pressure on the way to the car wash. No problem. A stop at Firestone would fix that right up. Supposedly, they put in the correct tire pressure and told me the indicator light would go off after I drove for a while. I didn’t think so, but I’m not the expert I thought I was dealing with at a tire place. Off I went toward home. The light was still on. I headed for a more reputable tire dealer. This one actually put in the correct amount of air but also told me the light would go off as I drove. I still didn’t think so, but off I went again.

I didn’t make it far. Now the check engine light came on. I headed for an auto parts store to see what fresh hell this was. The code popped up as crankshaft ventilation error. WTF is that? The auto parts guy didn’t know, but he turned the light off until I could figure it out. Off I went again. I didn’t make it far at all before the damn check engine light came back on. At this point, I was sure the universe hated me, I was cold, and I had to pee. I kept heading for home.

Lion and I Googled crankshaft ventilation whatever and we now knew, or thought we knew, what was going on. He called the dealer and I drove back to the town I’d just been in to wash the truck. Remember, we’re trying to sell the camper and this 6000-pound piece of crap that keeps lighting things up on the dashboard. The dealer said he’d have an answer by the end of the day. I had to rent a car but, since rental cars are in short supply, I ended up with a 15-passenger van. It’s not as bad as the old, enormous vans. It’s actually pretty nice once you get past the fact that you’re perched in the very front of a vehicle, almost over the wheels and that makes it turn differently from most things you drive. After a five-minute learning curve, I was on my way to grab lunch for Lion and myself. (Did I mention the tire pressure light in the truck hadn’t gone out despite driving over twenty miles?)

Somehow, the crankshaft ventilator whatever is covered under extended warranty. Win. However, the truck was due for a $100-plus oil change. Lose. It will be ready this afternoon. I went back to cleaning out the camper. Lion and I had decided we should tell the would-be buyers to come on Wednesday instead of today since I’d lost so much time on Monday. However, there was an email from said would-be buyers saying they were now won’t-be buyers. All of my running around on Sunday, making myself crazy was for nothing. I mean, I still have to clean out the camper. I just don’t have to do it now. And I guess it is a good thing we’re taking care of things on the truck before we sell it. I just wish it didn’t involve so much running around in circles.

Since I didn’t have to make myself so achy with the camper, I was energetic enough to give Lion some attention. As I was sucking him, I wondered if I should edge him or give him an orgasm. It’s a debate I usually have with myself while sucking him. On one hand, it was a while since his last orgasm. On the other hand, he hasn’t been as arousable as he should have been the past few times we’ve tried. On yet another hand, he’s asked to be edged more. On yet another, another hand (I borrowed Lion’s hands), he always seems disappointed if I just edge him. I was even going to give up and tell him he was only getting part way to the edge because my neck was starting to hurt, when I felt his thighs tense. Actually, this time he was squeezing me fairly hard. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was just strange.

When he finally had his orgasm, it seemed shortened somehow. Usually, there’s the buildup, the climax, and a slow ride down the other side. This time there was the buildup, the quick climax, and then a drop-off on the other side. Lion said it was another weird orgasm. It wasn’t very fulfilling. And there was no cream filling again. Boo! I’ll have to figure out how to get him back in the swing of things again. I know, my pet. More bondage. More spanking.

I tried to take advantage of the nice weather and mow the lawn this morning. I got pretty far before I had to take a rest. I’ll try for more later. As Lion is no doubt thinking, I also have to save some energy for sex.

We ran a few errands yesterday and then both took naps. We’ve been staying up later and, of course, the dog doesn’t understand weekends, so she insists I get up. Lion tends to sleep through this. In his defense, he was awake a lot last night because of his allergies. Yes, I know I have to change the bed and clean up dog toys so we can run the vacuum.

You’d think, if we took naps, we’d be rested and Lion would be ready for sex. He says he was horny earlier on Saturday. He just wasn’t horny at 8 when I wanted to give him attention. The problem is, in part, that he’s like a newborn baby in that he’s got his days and nights mixed up. I can’t play with him earlier on a weekday. I can potentially do it on a weekend, but not if I have to mow the lawn, change the bed, do other chores, etc. The sweet spot for loving tends to be morning or night. He never liked sex in the morning so that excludes that portion of our program. Night isn’t working for him lately, even if he takes naps. I don’t have an answer for this issue.

We got further than Lion thought we would last night when I tried to edge him. I was hopeful that my magic mouth would get him there. No such luck. I know it felt good. I had fun. He just didn’t quite make it all the way. Yes, he could have had an orgasm. Yes, we’ll try again today. Or, more likely, tonight. I’ve got to get back to the lawn so I have time to rest up for the festivities later on. As long as I get the bed changed before bedtime, that part of the problem will be solved.

Wednesday night turned out to be interesting. Mrs. Lion had a real reason to punish me. I forgot to close the shower door. This is particularly humiliating since I wrote a post about how well I was doing following my two rules. I went 19 days without missing. Then, on the very day I wrote a post about how good I’ve been, I forgot. No, I didn’t do it on purpose. I was listening to an audiobook and forgot.

Mrs. Lion was quick to inform me that I had broken a rule. After dinner, she got out the spanking bench and informed me that I was to mount it. I did. I think she was in an experimental mood. She began with her hairbrush paddle. This is a hardwood paddle 3/4-inches thick, shaped like a large hairbrush. We got it so she could take it with her when we traveled. It is very effective. She had me yelping in no time. After a while, she switched to other paddles. I don’t know what she was using, but they hurt.

She told me that she wasn’t going for long-lasting pain, just an even red color when she was done. She was happy with her results. My bottom didn’t hurt long after she finished. It hurt a lot while she spanked me. I have no idea why Mrs. Lion decides to vary her style. She did one rather unusual thing this time. She moved next to me and held me down while giving me a series of hard, fast swats. They were very effective. I needed to be restrained for them. Those swats were the most effective yet in terms of making me yelp and want to escape.

I’ve seen spanking videos where this sort of technique is used. It invariably causes yelps and squirms. Now I know why. Wow! That was terrible. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Lion knew exactly what she was doing. I wonder if she likes that kind of close-up spanking. Her usual style puts her at a distance from me.

an oral treat

About an hour after spanking me, Mrs. Lion invited me to lie across the bed. I didn’t need a second invitation. I was there in a flash. She got between my legs and made my soft cock hard in no time. She has amazing oral skills. After she brought me right to the edge once, she teased me with her tongue. Then she went to work and edged me again and again. Finally, when she let me ejaculate, I exploded with what she said was a large creamy treat for her. I haven’t done that in a long time.

After that, we both settled in and watched some TV. Wednesday night was eventful. Later, the dog started acting up. I left her zapper control in my office. Mrs. Lion had to fetch it. When she came back into the bedroom, she announced that I have a new rule: The zapper control has to be where we are at all times. I’m responsible for assuring it is always available. That’s bad news for the pup and a likely source of spankings for me.