By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments, Power Exchange, Punishment, Ruined orgasm, Spanking

Lion made some big mistakes yesterday.
I don’t really have any intention of making Lion wear panties every day. They wouldn’t be as special if I did. It would just be one more thing he’d get used to doing. I think they should be saved for days when I think he’s feeling pretty. Who decides when he’s feeling pretty? I do, of course.

Yesterday I was looking at bras and panties. I told him at this point I don’t see the need for padding or fake boobs. I’d rather be able to pinch his boobies whenever I want to. He snapped at me. He said I only do that when we’re playing. That may be true but he’s never worn a lacy bra before. When I found a sheer, flowered, lacy bra in red with black accents, he told me it was a bit much. He showed me a satin set he thought would be better. Where’s the lace? Where’s the sheerness? Where are the flowers? Of course the one I picked out was a bit much. It’s supposed to be.

I forgot to mention that Lion was snarky yesterday. When we were setting up the satellite for the camper, I’d suggest something and he’d tell me I was wrong. Then, as I was trying to do something he asked me to do, he was in the way so I said I needed to get where he was. He told me I was being snarky with him. I finally figured out what was going on. He wants me to take charge. I try to take charge. Every time I do, he pushes back. Um. Nope. No good. Flag on the play. Aside from the fact that he interrupted me a bunch of times, he was undermining my power by talking back. That earned him a red butt later on last night.

He did beg for me to stop spanking him. He promised he’d behave. I didn’t stop spanking. I told him I didn’t believe he’d behave. Eventually I got his buns as red as I wanted them, so I stopped. He was grateful I stopped, but later on told me I took it easy on him. He wondered why. I didn’t think I had. Am I going by what I want or by what he wants? I’m pretty sure he’d want more (in hindsight, so to speak) no matter how long or hard I spanked him. His butt could be bruised, bleeding, and he wouldn’t be able to sit for a week, but he’d say I went easy on him. [Lion – No, not at all. It’s much more complex to me than that]

I was going to edge him last night. Thursday night he had a nice oral orgasm. We didn’t play Friday. By last night he was horny again. I revved him up a few times and then I went a bit too far. When I realized it I could have gone in for the salvaged orgasm, but I decided to let the ruined one pan out. I got myself a nice snack and Lion got a bit of writhing around and not much fun. I wondered what would happen, aside from a pissed off Lion, if I only gave him ruined orgasms. He’s just as horny afterwards. The only difference between edging and a ruined orgasm is the crème filling. No, I’m not going to give Lion nothing but ruined orgasms. I was just an evil thought.

By:
In: Humiliation, Lion's Journal, Punishment

I’m pissed off!

I had a completely different post planned for today, but I’ve had enough. Over the last nearly-four years there have been a number of comments about topping from the bottom. Not one of the people complaining that I do this, actually knows what the term means. Topping from the bottom refers to bottoms who try to direct a scene while it’s in progress. It has nothing to do with conversations outside of the activity involved. For the sake of those who still don’t get it, if I try to change Mrs. Lion’s spanking style while she is spanking me, then I am topping from the bottom.

If I suggest new ways to do things outside of the time we are actually doing them, I may be annoying but it isn’t topping from the bottom.

Specifically, Mrs. Lion wrote of her frustration about an email exchange I am having with someone I greatly respect. The exchange discussed the nature of spanking, specifically in relation to me; more about that in a few paragraphs. Mrs. Lion and I have a longstanding misunderstanding about the meaning of my attempts to convey newly acquired knowledge. This isn’t confined to power exchange information. It happens no matter what the subject.

When I discuss new possibilities, Mrs. Lion internalizes my suggestions to means she isn’t doing enough to make me happy. She invariably jumps to this conclusion. She freely admits this. I’m faced with choosing not to offer ideas to avoid this situation or to remind her she is doing a great job and my ideas are just that, ideas for different-not-better ways of doing things. In the context of our domestic discipline, she can simply thank me for my ideas and let me know she isn’t ready to try anything new just yet. Information is not criticism. It’s just knowledge being shared.

Now, as promised, here is the real story about what all this sturm and drang is about. In my correspondence I asked about spanking. I was, in turn, asked how I reacted. Specifically, I was asked if I reacted as a child. Do I kick my feet? Beg to have the spanking stop, promising never to do it again? Cry? Roll over to stop it, only to be told to expose my bottom again? The answer to all except rolling over is “no.”

I recently wrote that I wasn’t exactly sure why the practice of spanking is so ubiquitous, but it is. Now I think I understand. Each and every spanking is supposed to be cathartic. It is successful when it allows cathartic release. It isn’t the color of my butt that decides when the spanking is done. It’s when I have exhibited that I experienced the release.

This isn’t Mrs. Lion’s problem; at least not entirely. Her role is to not stop until that release occurs. In the context of a spanking, my “no” means “yes.” “Yellow” means keep going, just a little lighter for a bit. Rolling over means telling me to get my butt back and even raise it to ask for a hard swat. The rest is up to me. My reaction to painful swats has been to literally roar and scream. It’s not the reaction of the vulnerable child. It’s a dominant, grownup protest to the pain.

I’m learning that for me to successfully surrender, I have to react as the child. The spanking is a demonstration of my submissive position to my lioness. It isn’t so much about the pain, though there is plenty. It’s about me feeling punished and having gotten to the point I am just a blubbery mass of submission. That actually doesn’t require the hardest possible swats, just unrelenting spanking until I experience that catharsis.

This won’t happen for either of us all at once. I have to learn to react appropriately. Mrs. Lion has to learn to guide me. Like everything else we do together, I’m confident we will work at it until we both succeed.

This is what I want. I’m hoping Mrs. Lion will be willing to help me achieve it. If not, we will be fine and our power exchange will continue. I have a lot of confidence in her. Sometimes it appears I have more in her than she does in herself. If she is willing she will succeed. I am not nearly as sure I will learn my part.

There was a second concept mentioned: humiliation. That, for the record, is less about learning to submit than it is about a long-held kink. I admit I haven’t really had a chance to experience much of it, but the thought turns me on. Perhaps being made (not me volunteering) to wear panties and bra for Mrs. Lion, maybe under my clothes, is the sort of experience that would work with me. I don’t know.

I’m not saying I expect Mrs. Lion to start making me do this for her right now. I’m simply saying that when that subject came up, it turned me on. That’s all. Diapers also fit into the humiliation arena too, obviously. When Mrs. Lion makes me wear them and makes frequent reference to the infantile lion having to be diapered, it is exciting.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Punishment
ivory soap
This bar was inserted in my mouth after first soaping my tongue and entire interior of my mouth.

It finally happened. On Monday night Mrs. Lion washed my mouth out with soap. I had interrupted her over the weekend and on our Monday punishment night she decided to do something about it.

She started by spanking me. She used a very mean paddle. However, she used it with great skill. She started with lighter swats and built up. She used a steady rhythm, building up force quickly. She was great judging how I took the pain. When I was just about to yell, “Yellow!” she backed off. I didn’t have to tell her. She could have gone much further, but apparently didn’t want to bruise me.

Once done, she went into the bathroom, turned on the water in the sink and started rubbing her hands on a new bar of Ivory soap. After she softened the bar a bit, she told me to join her. I knew what was coming and I got hard. At that point I hadn’t been locked back in my cage.

She noticed my erection and reached down and played with it a bit. She commented on me being hard when about to be punished. I couldn’t help it. I had erotic thoughts about mouth soaping for a long time. Mrs. Lion went back to the sink and got her hands very soapy. She then rubbed the soap on and under my tongue and all through my mouth. She went back for more and repeated the process. She did this one more time. Then she took the wet, softened bar of soap and put it into my mouth. I held it there.

The soap had a surprisingly mild-but-unpleasant taste. My tongue couldn’t help but rub against the bar I was holding in my mouth. I looked into the mirror and my mouth was surrounded by soap bubbles. I didn’t want to swallow soapy saliva. After a couple of minutes, she took the bar out and let me rinse my mouth.

I took cup after cup of water, swirled it in my mouth and spit out soapy water. I finally got most of the soap out, but the taste lingered for hours. The combination of the spanking and the mouth-soaping dessert made an impression on me. I will try harder not to interrupt my lioness.

This was our first attempt at mouth soaping. I learned a couple things about the technique. First, Ivory isn’t the best choice for this application. It is very alkaline and burned a bit in my mouth. I’ve read that a hand soap is better for this task. Many are Ph balanced and have added ingredients that make the soap more pleasant for bathing and, I’ve read, make them taste much worse than Ivory.

Mrs. Lion said she will use her bath soap next time. Here’s the part where I make things worse for myself. I suggest that Mrs. Lion get my mouth much soapier before putting the bar in my mouth. Some dominants rub the bar against the victim’s teeth to force some soap between them. That makes the flavor stronger and last longer. My other suggestion is to make me hold the bar in my mouth at least 10 minutes.

I know that these suggestions will make the experience a lot worse for me. But I can’t help myself. I have to suggest what I’ve learned about effective mouth soaping.

Mrs. Lion will use soaping with spanking for offenses she thinks are appropriate for this combination. She’s informed me that she is working on other punishments that will fit the crime. I think the combination of spanking and something else is sending a much stronger message to me.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment
Maybe Lion is more appropriately named “Rhino” because he charges into everything full-tilt.

I think Lion is misnamed. I think he should be Rhino because he just charges into things with a full head of steam. No learning curve. No dipping his big toe in the water first. Nope. Hard on the gas.

Last night I added mouth soaping to the punishment repertoire. I knew I needed to get the soapy taste into his mouth. I was content with soaping up a washcloth and making him hold it in his mouth. Nope. I needed to soap my fingers and make sure every inch of his mouth was soapy and then insert the soap into his mouth for him to hold.Since it was the first time we’ve done this I was happy with a minute’s worth of soap holding. This morning, Lion says it should be more like ten minutes. Yikes! I don’t even have the patience to watch him for ten minutes let alone holding soap in my mouth for that long. I think that’s something we’ll need to build up to. I only made him stand in the corner for five minutes at the longest.

The other thing that Lion has gone extreme about is his cage. In his post this morning he says he shouldn’t even touch my weenie when he showers or to put the base ring on. I disagree with this assessment. I think he can be trusted in the shower. I think he can be trusted without the cage at all. He’s been wild for months with no issues. Plus, I don’t want to put on the base ring. There’s a certain amount of tugging and shoving involved and I don’t want to pinch Lion as I’ve done in the past. He does the base ring at my request. Does he need it to be made a requirement? Okay. It’s now a requirement that he put on and take off the base ring.

When I told him I wanted to continue to put on the base ring, he didn’t like the idea. The last email he sent me yesterday said he could wear gloves. Really? You’re going to waste a pair of gloves just so you don’t actually touch my weenie? Can you hear me rolling my eyes? When I was done edging him last night he did put the base ring on without gloves. I’m hoping he realized how ridiculous that idea was. I never know with Lion. [Lion — I do tend to charge full speed into things. It’s my nature. Yes, the gloves were a silly idea. There’s no need to uncage me for a shower at any time. We have the nylon cage when the steel one is being cleaned. Just sayin’]