Category: Punishment

lock weenie with clone

When I first saw the lion clone, I was upset how small it was. Fortunately, as you can see here, even with a not-terrific erection, the real lion weenie is substantially longer. Click image for a larger, color view.

Saturday night Mrs. Lion unlocked me so that we could try our Clone-A-Willy kit. This kit says it will allow you to make a perfect silicone copy of your erection. I admit that I was intrigued by this idea. Mrs. Lion said she wanted it so I could see how it would feel to be fucked with my weenie. Given the size dildos she has used in my ass, I guess feeling my own, much smaller member will not be a big deal. For my part, I was curious what it would feel like to have a clone.

The process of cloning my weenie is fairly easy. First you mix an algenate batter that hardens to a flexible negative image of the object inside it. Your dentist uses this stuff to make castings of teeth. You know, that slimy tray of stuff you bite into. To prepare, I took a Cialis a couple of hours in advance. I wanted every advantage. Naked, I went into the kitchen. Mrs. Lion put a cock ring around the base of my penis (to help keep me hard) and then proceeded to make me hard. Once hard, we took the tube that the kit came in and measured along the tube a section that would be about the same length as my cock. We cut the rest of the tube away. We had our mold. Mrs. lion mixed up the molding compound while I maintained my erection. After mixing, she poured it into the tube and I put the tube over my cock and tried to keep it centered. To help me stay hard (you need to be in the tube for two full minutes), Mrs. Lion tickled my balls. I love that! When the two minutes were up, I felt inside to see if the gel had hardened. It had. So I gingerly removed the tube. I looked inside. It did indeed look like the imprint of my penis.

Next, Mrs. Lion mixed up the two-part silicone solution and we poured it into the mold. We set the mold aside. The directions say to leave the silicone in the mold 24 hours until it feels solid. About 14 hours later, it felt solid and we decided to unmold the silicone tribute to my mighty weenie. It came out with a bit of encouragement. It looked like my erection. They only thing was that it was short; about 4 1/2 inches long. I could tell that it was my full weenie since there was a good impression of the ring I had around the base of my penis. Mrs. Lion says I am longer than that and probably wasn’t fully hard when being cast. I hope so. She promised to unlock me later and take a picture of my two weenies, side by side. If it turns out that the clone is accurate, my ego will need some adjusting. Mrs. Lion assures me that she likes me just the way I am. I hope so. If I have just held reality in my hand and studied it up close (can’t do that with the one attached between my legs), my manhood has suffered a mighty blow.

Interestingly, Mrs. Lion has been referring to my penis as my/her weenie. She’s never called it “your mighty cock” or “Godzilla” or “Big Bob”, so with my clone on top of my dresser mocking me in its minnie me grandure, I have to agree that weenie is the correct noun. It also is a bit humiliating to have her call it that. I like that part. So far she hasn’t told me that I have to refer to it that way too from now on, but I expect she will. You can judge for yourself. The image on this page (click it for a much larger color version) shows my weenie and its clone side by side.  We will try again to get a more accurate representation. Mrs. Lion did point out that the present clone is just fine to peg me with, so I will at the least feel my own penis up my ass and possibly in my mouth. Aren’t I a lucky lion?

woman spanking man

My most frequent punishment is spanking. Mrs. Lion has become a most excellent spanker

(Friday, June 27 2014) Last night we went to the theater so there was no time for any sexual activity. We were both tired and I was still feeling well teased (translation: horny) from the night before. Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote about teasing me and the mixed feelings it generates. I can understand that. I am also very happy she remembers that it is my choice to get this and she shouldn’t feel guilty. Or should she? No! Just teasing. My last post was about the emotional and sexual value of her teasing and denial. This is a profound discovery for me. Since in the short time (almost six months) I have been locked up 24/7, I have gone through periods of no sexual attention and others with a lot. As I wrote, the times when I was sexually ignored felt very lonely to me. This is a punishment opportunity for Mrs. Lion, I suppose, but one I hope she reserves for more serious offenses.

In this game there appear to be two distinct types of punishment: corrective and playful. Playful punishment in my mind is used for forgetting things, eating first, dropping food, etc. It ranges from shocks with my invisible leash to spankings (hard and soft). The punishments fit my need for discipline and are not emotionally painful; they just hurt physically. They really aren’t playful in the sense of teasing me, they do hurt; but they don’t make me sad. Corrective punishments are reserved for lessons I need to be taught. If Mrs. Lion wants me to understand that something I have done (or not done) should never be repeated, then the punishment needs to send a strong message completely outside my discipline fantasy. This can include significant extension of my wait for my next orgasm, no attention for a period of time, removal of privileges, etc. Now, extension of my lockup time is really more of a playful punishment and I expect (hope?) it is imposed frequently. But extension of a month would be corrective. In that case it is a matter of degree.

While Mrs. Lion wrote about teasing and the guilt it can provoke. I think she feels even more guilt about any punishment that I don’t appear to enjoy. That may sound contradictory, but it isn’t. She has learned that I love the idea of being spanked and I love remembering how she spanked me  after she has finished and some of the burning has faded. She also knows I hate it while she is doing it (sometimes). But I have noticed that if she sees I am not having a good time (in a masochistic way) during the spanking, she reduces the force and stops soon after. I think that is because she is doing the spanking for me since it is something I want. She’s right, it is. But there’s more to it than that.

This is very much like my forced chastity. What makes it really work for me is that I have given up control.  I’m learning how it feels to lose control over my sexual satisfaction and how to deal with it, and Mrs. Lion is learning that she should feel good about depriving me. The same is true with discipline. I need to learn that when I am punished it isn’t for my entertainment. It is to reinforce my understanding that if I don’t obey or do something I shouldn’t that there will be consequences I can’t control and won’t like.

Usually it is very arousing for me to be face down on the bed awaiting my spanking. That’s fine for me and Mrs. Lion (she comments if I’m not hard). It’s really good that when she spanks me, she builds up slowly to help my endorphins by starting slowly with her hand and then graduating to more painful toys. It’s perfect! In fact, if we were doing BDSM play, she would be rated as a topnotch spanker. Where things get more difficult is when it is clear I am starting to hate my spanking. My butt is burning and each swat with the paddle makes me want to run away. That’s why restraint (or sitting on my back) is required. If she is spanking me right, I will try to escape. At this point she is in control and I know I’m not going anywhere.

When I want to escape, it is the point where a conversation — one way with Mrs. Lion speaking — is useful. The point of the conversation is to reinforce her control. Telling me that a hard one is coming, or here are ten quick swats is a way of verbally asserting the control her paddle is reinforcing. Similarly, asking me if I want her to stop and then telling me, “No, you need more,” is another assertion of control. That’s the entire point of the chastity and discipline. I love that.

Mrs. Lion has done a wonderful job learning to spank me. She has conquered her feelings of guilt to a large degree and has entered into the spirit of our adventure. I don’t want her to feel this post is highlighting something she is doing wrong. It isn’t. This post reflects my newly crystallized understanding of my need for chastity and discipline. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t change anything, we will be fine. In my eyes she is perfect.

waves crashing on a rock

Once given the power of orgasm control, extending the time is as inevitable as the tide coming in. With power comes control I am starting to feel Mrs. Lion taking my reins.

If you’ve been following along, you may have noticed that Mrs. Lion is taking a much more active role in my chastity. Over the last few days she has proposed new rules and yesterday announced that she was going to make me wait at least two weeks before my next orgasm. She also said that I will have to learn to control when I come; that she wants me to wait until she signals me before I can orgasm.

My reaction to these developments is mixed. On one hand it is exactly what I had hoped would happen. On the other, now that it is happening I am starting to worry a bit. I realize this is irrational. I couldn’t have believed that once I surrendered control of when I could come that I would be allowed release whenever I thought I should come. That would certainly be contrary to the reason I am caged. Knowing that doesn’t stop the reality from hitting me rather hard. Waiting nine days wasn’t all that easy, especially since Mrs. Lion kept my attention firmly focused on getting off. Tease and deny is a very effective tool for that. I realize that two weeks is just five days longer. Five days can feel like an eternity when my penis sends those little tingles up to my brain.

Some of those feelings remind me of when I was a cub and I just had to have that special toy. Life could be so dark and gloomy without that desired object. All these years later I can feel the little brat in me sending similar messages. But at least now I know that such petulant feelings will do no good. Another part of me is happy that Mrs. Lion is now taking the reins and I am definitely not in control any more. She really does own my most primal behavior. I absolutely can’t orgasm without her letting me.

She has also added a new, more difficult wrinkle; when she provides sexual stimulation, whether by hand mouth or vagina, I am not permitted to orgasm without explicit permission. I am pretty sure that right now I will fail miserably at that. I know from reading and conversations in the past that males can be trained this way. However, the methods are necessarily harsh to make it work. A fairly standard approach is to deal with “accidents” very severely. After the accident has been cleaned up by the male, a very unpleasant spanking follows at once. This isn’t the fun sort of spanking I normally get. I do like those! This is the kind where the keyholder restrains the male or sits on his back and really does a number on his butt with a nasty paddle. This is true negative conditioning.

Do I really want Mrs. Lion to do this? I’m ambivalent. I really hate that sort of spanking. Well, I’m supposed to. But I recognize the value of being trained to only come with permission. It makes me more sexually useful between authorized releases. Can I do it without many accidents? I am sure I can’t. I have no idea how to stop myself. So, if Mrs. Lion wants to train me this way, she will have to punish me severely in order to provide the negative conditioning needed to make it work. I will be very unhappy about it at the time. I know an accident will have repercussions beyond the painful spanking. It will almost by definition extend my waiting time before my next authorized orgasm. Am I proposing this practice? No, not exactly. I am reluctantly offering advice on how to succeed with this training. The fact is that I will have a very hard time learning this skill. Mrs. Lion will have to perform this training very regularly, almost daily, for it to work. This is one of those things that she has to decide she wants to invest her time in doing. I don’t have any choice either way.

There is a less violent possibility. We can use the shock collar to negatively condition me to orgasm without permission. This is far more humane. If I can tell Mrs. Lion just before I hit the point of no return (not always possible, but I think I can learn), she can hit the red (+2) button on her remote and the shock may be enough to distract me from the orgasm as well as unconsciously condition me not to orgasm without permission. I have no idea if this is effective. It is pure behavioral conditioning, so it might. The instant feedback, even if I do end up having an accident might actually work over time.

The thing is that of all the stuff we have discussed or tried, this particular form of training isn’t something I can simply do because she wants me to. I can’t even do it because I want to. It is behavioral conditioning of the most primal sort. I don’t know if I will ever succeed. But if Mrs. Lion wants to do it, I will try my best.

hands tied

I love my hands restrained when things are done to me. It’s very hot, like my cage. It removes any choice of what happens to me.

(Thursday, June 19, 2014) This is the sixth day since my last orgasm. It’s not a record for me, but it has been a while since I had to wait this long. Last night Mrs. Lion kept her promise and spanked me. She used her hands (very good hands) and a nasty wood paddle that has a sandpaper and a smooth side. When she wanted to administer hard paddle shots, she put her weight on my back to prevent excessive movement. It was pretty effective. If she ever decides to administer a series of hard paddle swats, I think she might want to have me lean over the edge of the bed and sit on my back. I tend to buck and try to escape. It may take a while before I learn to hold still, if I ever can.

Following the spanking, she began playing with my cock and swatting my balls with her hand. I had no idea whether I would get to orgasm. Her hand made me feel amazing. Oh, I wanted to come so much! She stopped just before I could come. She did this over and over and then announced that I would get my wish; she wouldn’t be making me come that night. I didn’t grumble. I did emit an “Awww!” But that was it.

Before the games began, she groomed me and so I am now pubic and ass hair free. After all was done I was left wild. I have a doctor’s appointment today to check my leg. wild. She was concerned that I would cheat and masturbate. I asked why. She told me that I had mentioned that I should have my hands restrained when she unlocked me after no orgasm for a while and she thought it was to prevent cheating.

On the surface it makes sense that being restrained would prevent any impulsive behavior on my part, but it isn’t the real reason I made that request. I don’t think there is a real danger I will overpower Mrs. Lion and jerk off madly. But just as I want the key hidden, I want to know that I have no choice. I can’t do anything about being denied orgasms. After all, forced male chastity is a form of bondage. Bondage translates on its most basic level to removing choice from the bound person. My cage denies me any choice in whether I can get erect or orgasm. It has maximum psychological effect on me if I really don’t have a choice. I don’t have access to a key except in an emergency and when unlocked my hands are safely restrained. I can’t take matters into my own hands.

Even though it is very unlikely I would actually cheat or overpower Mrs. Lion, I find it very exciting that I can’t. I think this is hard for her to understand. After all, if I won’t cheat and can be safely left wild, why would I need my hands restrained when she removes the cage? It isn’t completely rational. But then, is having my cock in a cage?

I can be left wild for any reasonable amount of time without risk I will come without permission. But it defeats the point of my lockup. In a case like today where I need to be examined, obviously I can’t be in my cage for the visit. Well, I could, but I would have a lot of embarrassing explaining to do. I am grateful that Mrs. Lion spares me that. If we wanted to be really high security (which would be fun), she could have kept me locked and accompanied me to the doctor, unlocking me in the car just before we go in. We did this once because we forgot to unlock me the night before. I really  liked that adventure. However, as hot as it is, to do this Mrs. Lion has to lose pay by leaving work early to drive to the doctor’s office to meet me.

That brings me to one other important point. Everything about my forced chastity adds effort and takes time from Mrs. Lion. As a former top, I fully understand that there is a personal price for the top that is paid for providing dominant services to the bottom. Each added level of chastity security requires more thought, time, and effort from Mrs. Lion. So, it makes sense to suspend the high security imprisonment at times that would further inconvenience her. I’m an adult, after all, and I have a reasonable amount of impulse control. Any male who doesn’t, shouldn’t be caged; he should be in therapy.

I try to consider any requests in that light. My wish to be restrained when unlocked is just one more chore for Mrs. Lion. I think I can make it painless and take only seconds. We have a set of velcro restraints. They are custom made using industrial webbing and very heavy duty velcro. I can’t release myself from them We have an eyebolt in the back of our headboard on my side of the bed (one on hers too). We can leave the restraints tethered there and when it is time for an unlock, it should only take a few seconds to secure me.

That sounds simple and reasonable, but it could just be too much. Every bottom likes to believe it is easy to meet his requests for bondage or more control. It often isn’t. It’s my kink that I like to be restrained. It isn’t my kink to defy my top if I’m not. Bondage turns me on. I used to love to be the Indian when we played cowboys and Indians as kids. I always ended up tied to a tree. I loved it. No wonder I want my cock locked up full time and my hands restrained too.

I don’t expect Mrs. Lion to understand why this turns me on. I’m not sure I understand it myself. It just works for me. My first partner all those years ago liked me in bondage. She also really liked that I could never escape on my own. Every single restraint was locked securely with a large padlock. We both knew I wasn’t going anywhere without her releasing me. The locks were her idea and weren’t really necessary. After all, bondage needs to be supervised at all times. A bottom can get into serious trouble just tied on his back spread-eagle. All sorts of health emergencies can occur. My first top knew this and always supervised me. So the locks for her were like having my hands restrained when I am uncaged. Absolutely unnecessary, but very hot.

Mrs. Lion shouldn’t take this as a must-do. As I mentioned before, there is a price the top has to pay for each new chore associated with her domination. I think every bottom, including me, tries to rationalize each request by minimizing it’s impact on the top. I don’t want to do that. Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to restrain my hands when she unlocks me in order to make me happy. I am happy now.

 

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