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In: diapers, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

How ironic is it that Lion is getting punished for forgetting it was punishment day? All day I waited for him to tell me. I even hinted at one point that I hoped he’d make it through the day without a punishable offense. By rights I should have spanked him again. Three days in a row would have really sent a message. But I figured I’d give him a break. Diapers it is.

The only guidelines I gave him initially was that he wear diapers for twenty-four hours. I few minutes later he asked if he could change them. Duh! Of course. I don’t want him wearing the same stinky diaper for twenty-four hours. And he doesn’t have to poop in them. That would be way too messy. However, Lion may have found a loophole. I was not clear as to when he can change the diaper. He thinks he can change it as soon as he’s wet. That’s no fun! What good is it if he’s always in a dry diaper?

Nope. A dry diaper will not do. So I’m changing the parameters a bit. I don’t think I’ll be as mean as I’ve been in the past. He doesn’t always have to have a wet diaper. For this punishment, he has to sit in a wet diaper for at least an hour before he can change it. Assuming he doesn’t have to pee again right away, he’ll be in a dry diaper for a good portion of the time.

Oh, and an unintended consequence of the punishment is that I don’t want to play with a stinky weenie so he won’t get any action until he’s out of the diaper and showered on Saturday afternoon/evening. Fair warning, Lion. We’ll snuggle, but no weenie rubs. On the plus side, for Lion at least, he won’t get spanked either. But he still needs to be careful. Any infractions during the diaper period will result in increased diaper time or increased wet diaper time. He won’t get away with anything.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Punishment

I’ve been studying how other bloggers write about punishment. Every one that I believe is real, always have two phases, at least, to a punishment. If you consider the spanking as the main course, then the followup is desert.

This idea makes very good sense. Since a spanking that is going to last more than a few swats, requires a warm up, there is a strong resemblance to a “play” (BDSM) spanking. For me, the desert would provide unmistakable evidence that I am being punished.

Without exception, domestic discipline punishments, including spanking, are all childhood-based punishment. Spanking, corner standing, writing assignments, mouth washing, privilege loss, and early bedtime are all classic punishments for children.

I think there is a good reason why adults are punished as children: it fits the maternal model of female authority where the male is submitting. It’s not a reach for both partners. Many wives jokingly refer to their husbands as their oldest children. I suspect that this reference has more than a grain of truth. In the case of FLR, especially with domestic discipline, the maternal role is actual.

Childish punishments resonate with men who were disciplined this way as children. Men like me who had never experienced this as kids, have to learn what the other group already knows. In my case, I have been spanked during BDSM scenes. Many were quite severe, though none reached the point that Lioness 2.0 has been giving me.

Quiz shows always have at least two parts to each game. “Family Feud,” for example has the regular play and then the “Quick Money” game. Audiences clearly prefer this format. Punishment is no different. The spanking is the main game. It provides direct stimulation that reflects the disciplining wife’s unhappiness with her husband’s behavior. Even if she isn’t angry at the time, this activity provides direct evidence of her displeasure. She was hurt by his disobedience, for example, so now he will get to feel the way he made her feel. Many women include a “scold” to underline what upset her.

The second phase, dessert if you will, serves the purpose of forcing the disciplined husband to seriously consider his misdeed. It’s the quiet phase of the punishment. Many women use “corner time” as this second phase. Her husband is made to stand with his nose tightly pressed into the corner. Often, he is required to have his hands behind his back or at his side. The average sentence for corner time seems to be fifteen to thirty minutes. The room is quiet and he is forced to feel the effects of his spanking and hopefully meditate on his sins.

Writing assignments requires him to neatly write a phrase over and over. This phrase almost always is a promise to not repeat the bad behavior; for example, “I won’t interrupt Mrs. Lion.” or “I will eat more neatly.” You get the idea. Writing that 100 or 200 times takes a while and if he is sitting on a hard chair, will intensify the memory of the spanking.

Mouth soaping is more than sticking a bar of soap in his mouth. Usually, the bar of soap is thoroughly wet with warm water and then the disciplining wife soaps her hand and then washes the inside of his mouth with the soap. It generally takes repeating adding soap to her hands so she can thoroughly coat his tongue, gums front and back, and all of his mouth. The soap should be fairly soft at this point. Then at least a third-to-a-half of the bar goes into his mouth and he has to hold it there. Many women soap first, then have him stand in the corner for 15 to 30 minutes with the bar in his mouth.

These “quiet” dessert activities clearly indicate that this isn’t play. It’s punishment. The purpose, of course, is to assure he understands that repeating the misbehavior is something to avoid at all costs. A spanking alone is effective in many cases, but if you add dessert, the lesson is strongly reinforced.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Yesterday Lion interrupted me. Not once, not twice, but a few times in a row. I was trying to tell him something and he kept cutting me off. Finally I yelled at him. He says I pause too long between thoughts. At first I thought he was going to tell me I was wrong for doing that. Wisely, he said he’d have to learn to take that into account during our conversations.

After dinner and my shower, I told Lion it was time for his spanking. He said he still had sore spots from the night before. Oh well. It’s not my fault that I need to punish him again.

I did quick little hits and tried to avoid the bruises. I knew those weren’t really the sore spots, but they were the only evidence from the night before. I continued on with the little swats all over his butt. He was getting red and I was hitting harder as I went along. Neither of us counted, but Lion says there may well have been over 200. He called yellow a few times and I (hopefully) didn’t back off as much as the night before.

The thing I don’t really understand is where are the hard swats? If I’m peppering his butt with a million smaller swats, what happens to the big, full swing swats? Are they just gone? Can I sprinkle them throughout the punishment? Won’t that make him want to cry yellow? I understand the concept of building up, but not the concept of not having a big paddle whomping Lion within an inch of his life.

This morning, Lion said his butt was no longer sore. The soreness lasted only a few hours. And he said there is a part two for punishment that he’s looking forward to. In order for it to be memorable, he posits, he needs a secondary punishment. Corner time, soap in his mouth, something like that.

Can’t I try to get one thing right at a time? Why do I have to add in different elements at the same time? I’m hoping Lion won’t get himself in any trouble today so I can regroup and get my mind wrapped around corner time after the punishment swats are done. I did try it once, but I (thought I) was doing the swats correctly at the time. Now we’ve changed tactics. A Lioness’ work is never done.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking
spanked lion
This was the result of one the most severe play spankings I’ve received. I only felt it for a few hours. Generally, a spanking looks much worse than it really is. Bruises and white areas are a good sign the message has been sent.

My early research led me to believe that disciplinary spankings start hard and stay hard from beginning to end with no regard for how much they hurt. Disciplinary spankings are supposed to hurt. That’s the entire point. Right? Well, yes but there may be more to it than that.

Let me be clear. A disciplinary spanking should hurt a lot. It’s purpose is to deter future misbehavior. My reading of DD and spanking blogs appeared to reinforce the idea that a spanking should start and stay with hard swats from beginning to end. But then as I learned more, including contact from some disciplinary wives,  I find this concept isn’t exactly right.

My spankings are generally very brief with less than ten hard swats. Mrs. Lion starts full force and every few seconds lands a swat. This brief-but-violent technique is very painful, but not memorable. The small number of swats doesn’t provide enough damage to hurt  for more than a half hour or so.

My original thoughts on this matter were based on the idea of separating play spankings from punishment. Mrs. Lion has been play spanking me for years. She starts off with her hand and slowly builds intensity, changing to paddles after I’ve had a chance to generate enough endorphins to tolerate more intense stimulation. So, if I am to understand the difference between play and punishment, I figured that the disciplinary spanking should have no warmup. That would make the difference crystal clear to me.

It’s a nice idea, but it flies in the face of my physiology. If I were tied down, then starting hard and going on for a long time would be possible. It would make me miserable and I would fight to escape. I know because we tried that during a play session years ago. It was unbearable agony. Mrs. Lion stopped just before I started to cry.

I don’t think that tears are inappropriate during a punishment spanking, but there is a different, more humane way to get there. If the objective is to deter a behavior, then the punishment should provide sufficient discomfort to make a strong impression. There are many ways to achieve this result.

If the results of a spanking are felt for an extended time, it provides a lasting incentive to behave. My current pain is severe, but of very short duration. I suggest that a much longer duration of discomfort provides a stronger object lesson. In order for that to happen to me, I have to tolerate the spanking so that it can go on long enough to make sitting difficult for days.

My newest thinking is that a punishment spanking should include a warmup. I’ve read of one woman who does a warmup until her bottom is able to handle hard swats. Then she stops and reminds him of his transgression then says, “Now we will begin your punishment.” She then goes on in earnest. He’s ready to accept her rapid, hard blows because she took the time to let his endorphins catch up.

Just because he is able to hold still for more doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling anything. Quite the contrary. He will feel the swats, perhaps even cry. But he is able to handle the punishment and only minimally squirm and kick. He will scream and complain, but he is inside his ability to handle the swats.

The disciplinary wife has to be sensitive to how her male is reacting, even during the punishment phase. He will need her to start with less severe swats and be allowed to tolerate what’s coming later. The objective of this spanking isn’t immediate reaction. It’s a deep red color with bruising. It will provide lasting pain that will reinforce the lesson he has to learn.

The rear end, particularly mine, heals very quickly. A bruised bottom isn’t dangerous or the sign of abuse. It’s the objective of a spanking. If sitting is uncomfortable for at least 24 hours after the spanking, it has been successful. It may take a number of spankings to get to this point. Remember, the objective isn’t to over stress your male. It’s to provide sufficient discomfort to remind him to behave, at least for a while.

This may not be true or apply to you or your DD relationship. It’s only my current thinking and I haven’t yet experienced it. I do know that a lot of people want play spankings to end this way. I never did. But I do want my disciplinary spankings to be this severe. I want to be able to tolerate the pain. I know this takes a warmup and the ability to give feedback (Yellow and Red). If Mrs. Lion takes this approach (that includes maintenance spankings), we’ll both let you know how it works.