Rules

We stayed up later than usual last night. Lion has trouble sleeping, then he snoozes during the day, then has trouble sleeping at night, etc. Rinse and repeat. I’m trying to maintain a more normal schedule since I actually have to be up for work on weekdays. Although we canceled our trip, I still took Thursday and Friday off. I’m undecided about Monday. Anyway, Lion is still sleeping, blissfully unaware that he’ll be in trouble when he wakes up. He forgot the coffee pot again.

Again? Yes, I know. He’s been pretty good, but it’s still fairly soon since the last time. He doesn’t venture into the kitchen much at all, but he did go for a drink yesterday. I guess he didn’t notice the coffee pot parts still in the dish drainer. I almost reminded him. Then I decided he was on his own. I’d already forgiven his mistake of eating first at breakfast. How nice am I supposed to be? Plus, he was upset with me for not asking the “right” questions when I took the dog to the vet. Doesn’t that vet know what she’s doing? He’s coming with me to the follow-up. I think he should have come to the initial visit, but his stomach was bothering him. But I digress.

The point is that Lion missed putting the coffee pot together again. It’s a minor infraction in the overall scheme of things. He’s not able to do much around here so I’d appreciate if he could do the things he can. And if one of those things happens to be a rule, then he certainly should do it. If he fails, it’s up to me to remind him. As you know, my reminders of broken rules are painful. The more often rules are broken, the more painful those reminders have to be. It was Lion’s idea to have the punishments increase in severity. In the real world, jail times (theoretically) increase as you re-offend. It makes perfect sense for Lion’s punishments to increase. He is master of his own demise.

I have yard work to do today, but I’ll have to keep a good amount of energy in reserve to whomp Lion. On the other hand, it might make more sense to get a good rest and whomp him tomorrow. I’m sure he’ll be scurrying into the kitchen to put the coffee pot together today. Of course, if he doesn’t, I’ll have more to whomp him for tomorrow.

Lion informed me that he’d used lotion to soften his buns with the hope that they’d bleed less during his impending punishment. With his being sick for the past few weeks, I forgot all about his lotion regimen. I don’t know if he continued it the whole time or just started again yesterday. Whichever the case, it may or may not have helped.

I decided to spank Lion before I took my shower so he’d have time to recover before we did anything sexual. I guess if I really wanted to separate the punishment from sex, I would have spanked him earlier in the day. However, I’m supposed to be working and I have enough downtime as it is. I didn’t figure I should take more time away to spank him.

Lion’s spanking spoon in action.

I was going to use the bloodwood paddle, but decided against it because the edges are more square than the spoon-shaped paddle I’ve been using. The spoon also has more heft to it. I have a theory that he doesn’t bleed as much with a round-edged paddle. I have no idea if it’s true. I guess I’ll need more experimentation.

This is the second time in a very short span of time that Lion has forgotten to set up the coffee pot. It really doesn’t take very long to do so I don’t mind doing it, but it is a rule. Lion has to learn to follow the rules. In keeping with his idea that punishment for the same offense in a short period of time must be stronger, I whomped harder and longer. I never keep track of how long I spank him. I just go until I think he’s learned his lesson.

To emphasize what rule he’d broken I reminded him just before I started. I’m not sure why he needs this. Can’t he remember which rule he broke? He doesn’t break that many. The one time he was being punished for more than one, I stopped and announced that the beating would begin for infraction number two. Generally, he doesn’t have more than one rule broken at a time. And given the fact that I was punishing him within hours of breaking it, shouldn’t he know? But he’s told me in the past that it’s more poignant if I tell him. Maybe it’s like being in front of a judge when they read the charges. It’s so much worse to hear them out loud.

This is the bloodwood paddle. Lion usually bleeds more when I use it.

So I set about swatting him and he was squirming and yelping right from the beginning. I don’t think he exaggerates so I believe it really did hurt. I just can’t figure out why. I thought I started off not hitting so hard. Judging from his response and the fact that his buns were red almost immediately, I guess I was hitting hard. I wonder if the paddle is harsher than I thought. Next time I’ll try the bloodwood paddle to see if there’s much difference.

From the looks of his butt, I’d think he had some bruising. Toward the end, he started bleeding from one little spot. Sometimes I stop at that point, but since it was his second offense, I kept going. You’d think he’d be sore today. I don’t think he is. [Lion — I’m not.] I’ll need to improve my technique. I don’t care so much about bruising him. I just want him to feel it the next day. Maybe that means I do have to bruise him, but I don’t think so. I’ve spanked him hard enough for him to feel it the next day without leaving a bruise. Oh well. If I didn’t get my message across, I’m sure he’ll be forgetting the coffee pot again relatively soon.

As I was making and cleaning up from dinner, I had my eye on the coffee pot parts still in the dish drainer. Lion still wasn’t feeling 100%, but he was well enough to do the coffee pot. He’d done it for most of the days he felt like crap. I decided he’d get punished. If he’s starting to get horny, then he should be able to do his chores.

This morning we slept in. Well, Lion did. I was up with the dog at 6 and 7, but then I slept till 9ish. We watched TV for a while before I asked the inevitable questions: Are you hungry and what do you want to eat? When I walked into the kitchen, the coffee pot was done. Hmmm… if he was asleep as long as I’d been and it wasn’t done when the dog had her ice cream when had he done it? I didn’t ask, but as we ate breakfast he asked if I was surprised that the coffee pot was done. I admitted I was. He’d done it around midnight when he filed his unemployment claim and finished his post for this morning. Aha!

Not only was I surprised that he remembered so late, but I was sort of disappointed. I thought I had him. It’s not that I wanted to punish him. I still don’t find any joy in that. But I do enjoy catching him when he breaks a rule.

Nanner, nanner, nanner!

I know that probably makes no sense. Why do I enjoy catching him if I don’t enjoy punishing him? I have no answer. It may be linked to why I like to find continuity errors in TV shows and movies. It’s a detail someone missed and I caught. I don’t call the directors and tell them they’ve made a mistake. There’s no way for them to fix it anyway. I just like finding them.

On the other hand, maybe I wanted him to forget because punishing him would mean he’s finally getting better. If he’s starting to feel horny and he can handle punishment, then maybe things are getting back to normal. Maybe I’ve got my frisky Lion back. I think I do, with or without punishment. He said he was horny this morning. When I suggested waiting another day for his blow job, he said maybe we don’t have to wait. We’ll see how it goes later, but that’s a good sign.

Neither of us have any idea how he caught a virus. I’m just grateful it was a run-of-the-mill stomach virus and not the virus. We’re continuing to protect ourselves by staying home as much as possible and wearing masks when we have to venture out. We have no plans to join the bandwagon of people going back to restaurants or other crowded places. Are we overreacting? Maybe, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

We had a fairly busy day yesterday. We drove about an hour to retrieve our camper. This is only the second time I’ve tried to park it in our narrow driveway. It actually went better this time. I won’t say it was without incident. It took me a few tries before I got it where I wanted it. It’s all set up and the fridge is on so we can have a little more food delivered if we need to.

Lion had some work to do and I puttered around the house. We were both pretty tired. I made dinner while he took a shower. While I was cleaning up after dinner, I noticed he hadn’t put the coffee pot together. I decided to be generous and remind him. Between not sleeping, getting the news that he’ll soon be furloughed and venturing out for the first time in a month, I figured he didn’t need to be punished. He said he knew he needed to do it but he’d been so tired and had so many things going on he hadn’t done it yet. He promised to do it while I was showering.

At that point it didn’t really matter to me if he did it or not. He hadn’t. I decided not to punish him. It was done. It’s not such a monumental task that I couldn’t have done it in the morning. There are times I tell him the food spilling rule is suspended if I realize it’s a meal that he can’t help but make a mess. That’s the thing with our rules. We deal with his transgressions and we move on. I don’t keep poking at him about doing it. We do joke about it sometimes, but I would never be mean about it. Salsa has a way of jumping onto his shirt. He knows it. I know it. It’s sort of funny. I may tell him to be careful when we sit down in a Mexican restaurant but it’s not mean. It’s not like we’re at a bar and I tell him not to get drunk like he did last time when he made a fool of himself with the waitress. (That never happened. Just an example.)

I try to be reasonable with the rules. I’m sure Lion thinks I’m too lenient. I knew Lion hadn’t had his coffee break yesterday. We were getting the camper. I knew he was working most of the afternoon. I knew he was tired. What would have been gained by punishing him? It wouldn’t have made me feel any better. It wouldn’t have made him feel any better. If I can’t make decisions like that then what’s the point of being in charge?

Today is another matter. He took a sleeping pill last night and got a decent amount of sleep. I think he’s actually napping right now. It’s not a workday. We aren’t going anywhere. I won’t be so generous about the coffee pot today. [Lion — After I woke up (at nearly noon) got washed and shaved, the first thing I did was prepare the coffeepot for tomorrow morning. Mrs. Lion is let me know that she is not in a charitable mood today.]