Category: Rules

I keep feeling like I’m getting a cold or the flu. Unfortunately, this will go on for months. I don’t tend to actually get sick, but I feel as if I’m on the verge. It’s not a fun way to live but it happens almost every winter. Last night was particularly bad. I was cold and achy and tired. I felt better after I ate but still not great. I just didn’t feel like doing anything but hunkering down under the blankets.

Poor Lion was trapped in his cage with no fun to be had. He was worried about me and the only time he grumbled was a tiny, “poor Lion” near bedtime. He was kidding, of course. Being locked up for one day is not a big deal. He knows I won’t let him languish in the cage. At the very least, my weenie will come out tonight to stretch his legs, so to speak.

Lion asked me if his being hairless meant anything to me. Honestly, the only time I notice his being hairless is when we snuggle and my nose is not tickled by chest hair. Aside from that, I only notice his hair in passing. If, for example, I’m jerking him off, I might notice a few long hairs but they don’t bother me. As a matter of fact, when I ranted about having to wax him the other day, I was envisioning tons of hair, especially on his legs. I don’t know where I thought this hair was magically going to appear because he didn’t really have much hair anywhere. I guess that shows how much I pay attention. I didn’t even notice the obvious hairs on his balls when I’ve been locking and unlocking him. Duh!

He says he’s impressed with my substantial new rule. It’s something that bothers me a lot like interrupting. It’s not a froufrou rule like eating first or spilling things on his shirt. He did comment that he must be behaving himself because he hasn’t gotten a spanking recently. I told him to wait until Thursday night when we watch “Grey’s Anatomy”. If he can’t behave himself then he’ll get himself in trouble. Of course, the rule does not apply only to “Grey’s Anatomy”. Any show we watch could have the audacity to have a soap opera component. The nerve!

When I unlock the poor Lion tonight, I think I’ll see how many clothespins I can get on my balls. It’s been a while since I loaded them up. It just feels like the right time to do it.

I got it! It finally hit me this morning. Lion’s new rule is that he can’t keep muttering “soap opera” under his breath when I’m watching “Grey’s Anatomy” or other shows that have storylines that diverge from the premise of the show. Yes, “Grey’s Anatomy” is a medical show but it never claimed to be 100% about medicine. It’s about the people too. It would be pretty boring if it was all operations and broken bones.


Lion loved “Suits”. It was about a law practice but there was a high dose of soap opera in it. Occasionally I’d point that out simply because he always makes the comment during my shows. He said he knew it did. Apparently that was okay because it was his show. He liked the characters and could follow along. He doesn’t pay enough attention to my shows to be able to follow the soap opera storyline.


I find it incredibly annoying when he makes comments during my shows. I usually don’t during his shows unless I’m jabbing him with the same comments he makes about mine. So now he has a new rule. Those comments will earn him a sore butt.


I should clarify. If he says he’s lost because he can’t follow the soap opera parts, he won’t be punished. If he just mutters something about it being a soap opera, he’ll be on the receiving end of a paddle.


Aren’t you proud of me for thinking of a substantial rule? I am. I’m actually finding things that piss me off.

Woohoo! Go me!

Lion complains that I leave stuff in the dish drainer. Ok. Now it is
his job to make sure it is empty. I see a red bottom in his future.

I am on the hunt for some new rules. I’d like at least two that Lion is sure break often. These would be along the lines of spilling food on his shirt or eating first. Then I need one that is more serious, like interrupting.

He’s been leaving the cabinet door open in the bathroom and I thought that might be one, but I seem to have a similar affliction. How would I know which one of us did it?

He gets frustrated with me because I don’t put away the utensils I’ve had to wash by hand. They sit in the dish drainer for days. I figure I put everything else away and I washed the damn things, so what if I didn’t go that extra mile to put them away. Maybe it should be his job. After all, he’s getting the coffee pot out of the dish drainer when he gets the coffee ready for the following day.

Admittedly, this is an inconsequential rule. That’s by design. I want him to break it so he gets swatted more often. This way we’ll stay in practice and not have to do maintenance spankings like we did last night.

I think we’ve decided that the softer punishments like mouth-soaping don’t mean much to Lion. In order to have an impact, no pun intended, he needs a spanking. Last night’s maintenance spanking lasted less than five minutes. Maybe the lesser offenses get fewer minutes. That seems fair to me. [Lion — Based on our experience, shorter spankings aren’t effective.]

So far that’s all I have. I think I’ll have to wait for him to do a big thing and then I’ll decide it would make a good rule. It was only after he kept interrupting me that I got so frustrated I made it a rule. There must be something he does that pisses me off. I’ll know it when I see it. So will he. [Lion — No more growls?]

Thwack!

I’d assume having an orgasm would make Lion sleep well. Sadly, that was not the case Saturday night. He was awake for a good portion of the night and was snoozing on and off yesterday. Apparently football makes for good napping even though they were good games.


I didn’t really think Lion would be in the mood for love, but I thought he’d like to snuggle. Any time I glanced his way he was snoring softly. Then he’d wake up, watch a bit and drift off again. His shoulder was hurting and this morning, his tummy hurts. It’s nothing serious, but don’t tell anyone in pain it isn’t serious. It’s serious to them. On the way home I’ll stock up on some comfort foods so Lion doesn’t have to eat anything too taxing.


Lion has been a very well behaved boy lately. He’s remembering punishment days. He’s not spilling food or eating first. He did interrupt me but I growled at him and left it at that. It’s my version of a parent counting to three. A warning shot over the bow, if you will. I let him know I caught it and the next time will not be tolerated. He was even on his best behavior when we went to a Mexican restaurant the other night. He didn’t get upset with the waiter. He didn’t even get salsa on himself. Exemplary behavior! I’m proud of him.


My problem now is coming up with more rules. I need some that he can’t help but break to make sure he gets spanked sometimes. I’d also like one more that has real meaning. You know, like not interrupting. It’s difficult for me to find things that annoy me except when they annoy me. I guess I’ll have to wait for Lion to do something annoying and pounce on it. Eureka! That’s the new rule. Depending on how serious it is, I’ll spank him on that first offense. I already have a rule in effect that I can spank him if he annoys me. I’m just looking for a more concrete rule.


Lion isn’t perfect. It’s only a matter of time before he gives me an idea for a new rule. Of course, I also have to be more diligent about enforcing the rules we already have. They’re no good unless I catch him. Look out, my pet.

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