Category: Security

I’ve been writing and talking about a stricter 2.0. This prompted her to write a bit about my desire to be securely locked even more of the time. I pointed out that leaving me wild in the shower, for example, gives me an opportunity to masturbate unobserved. She said that if I did this, she would either unlock me and end enforced chastity or punish me. She isn’t sure which.

That comment started me thinking about how things have changed. In the beginning, enforced chastity was my “thing”. Mrs. Lion acted as my keyholder out of a desire to make me happy. Under those circumstances, ending enforced chastity would be the appropriate response to such a blatant defiance of what I wanted. Now, over two years later, I think that things are completely different.

Should I commit the sin of jerking off when not authorized and Mrs. Lion decides that we will end enforced chastity, a lot more will happen than no longer indulging my fantasy. We’ve evolved what started as a sexual game into the linchpin of our sexual relationship. If the cage comes off, how do we maintain the intimacy we have? There is no incentive for her to tease me. That was part of enforced chastity. She isn’t interested in sex for herself so there is no motivation for mutual sexual contact.

I think we would return to our past, unsatisfactory sexual distance. Mrs. Lion and I have discussed what might happen if I got tired of being locked up. She made it clear that is no longer an option for me. The reason: the risk of losing our sexual intimacy and other benefits we both enjoy. This is no longer my kink. It’s a key part of our relationship. So, ending it would be destructive to a lot more than my chastity fantasy.

If you wonder how this could happen since I know how important it is to surrender my sexuality, the answer is fairly simple. Assume I am daydreaming about something sexual while in the shower. I’m uncaged and my hand wanders into forbidden territory. It feels good and before I know it, I come. There is no excuse for it, but it could happen. I’m sure that most guys have had similar experiences. So far I have been extremely careful to no have such thoughts when wild.

Let’s assume I do this. What should Mrs. Lion do when she finds out? Since enforced chastity is so important to us both, ending it is probably off the table. Punishment must be administered. I have no idea what she would do, but I am very sure I wouldn’t forget it. The switch from abandoning the kink to punishing for a serious infraction is an indicator of how important enforced chastity has become for us. That’s why I am writing this. My sexual behavior is not only controlled by my lioness. She owns it absolutely and isn’t going to return it to me, ever.

A reason I wrote about stricter caging is based on my realization that we need to avoid giving me any opportunity to sexually touch myself. Yes, I have excellent self control. But enforced chastity is a 24/7/365 practice. Opportunities to mess up need to be avoided. As I see it, the less possibility of a “mistake” the better for me and for us.

That means I probably shouldn’t have any time when my penis is available and I am not directly supervised. No more “wild” showers unless Mrs. Lion is watching me. No RV weekends uncaged. If I am uncaged to use the bathroom, direct supervision should be supplied. The reason we use a locked chastity device is to make unauthorized sexual touching impossible. Since the consequences of an “accident” would resonate through our relationship, that locked device is much more than a symbol. It prevents a problem that would be difficult to handle.

[Mrs. Lion – I can see Lion’s point about a lapse in concentration in the shower. However, that implies that if he were not caged, a similar lapse in concentration could result in his cheating with another woman. I’m not sure how I would handle that. It would certainly take him a long time to regain my trust. Cheating in the shower may not be as severe an offense as cheating with another woman, but with our relationship at stake, why take a chance?]

Most guys when the first think about enforced chastity, spend quite a bit of time thinking about getting a device they will be unable to escape. The word enforced is hyper-critical to them. Endless time is spent worrying about “security” (wish I could do air quotes around that word). So many men order devices with the smallest possible base ring. Then they spend time suffering the frictional consequences of this choice. Their reasoning? If the device is very tight it will be harder to escape. Maybe. But it will also be much harder to wear. Strangle your scrotum and suffer irritation, loss of circulation, and constant pain. That early morning erection will become torture. “Good,” you say. Erections should hurt. I don’t know about that. I want to be able to sleep through the night.

The objection I hear most often is, “What’s the point of being locked up if I can escape?” That rhetorical question shows that it’s owner simply doesn’t understand enforced chastity at all. You  haven’t been taken sexual prisoner by a tribe of Amazons. You  aren’t locked up against your will. You asked your keyholder to lock you up. You want to be locked up. So why worry about escape? That is clearly the last thing you really want.

My view of enforced chastity is that I agreed to turn over sexual control to my lioness. I like that I am locked into a device that prevents even the smallest transgression. I can’t get hard or come as long as it is on. I realize that any ball-capture device is escapable. I can pull my soft penis out of the cage and base ring. Then, once freed, I can jerk off to my heart’s content. The thing is, once I pull out, I can’t put it back so Mrs. Lion won’t know I was so naughty. That’s the real security. If she found out, I would be in serious trouble. Also, I don’t have to do the penis gymnastics required to pull out. I have my emergency key. Oh wait, it’s inside a metal case with a tamper-evident label. If I open the case, Mrs. Lion will know. She will want solid evidence there was a serious emergency that required my extraction.

The real inescapable device is the one that reveals any escape. I surrendered sexual control to Mrs. Lion. I take that very seriously. There is no way I will cheat. But hypothetically, let’s say I want to masturbate. The only way I can do it is going to require me to either pull out or use my key. Either method will be quickly discovered by my lioness. I don’t want to think about what would happen to me when she made that discovery. I won’t have to find out of course. I’m not going there because I made a promise to her. I’m not going to break it.

Some guys get PA (Prince Albert) piercings (Image). Special padlocks and adapted chastity devices can lock that piercing to the cage. You can’t pull out if you take this course. Of course, not everyone wants a piercing like this. I had a frenum piercing for many years. Chastity devices are made to work with these piercings too. Of course it still comes down to why it is needed. Some guys really want to feel that level of inescapablity, but it truly isn’t needed.

My advice to someone who wants to start enforced chastity is to carefully consider the inevitable tradeoff between “security” and comfort. If the device hurts to wear, the odds are very strong that you will stop wearing it soon after you start. If you recognize that the real security is your promise to surrender sexual control, you can get a device that is completely comfortable to wear and is still secure enough to prevent the stray erection or momentary impulse to jerk off. Your promise takes care of the rest.

Three days is what Lion feels is his optimal wait time. Well I know it’s not. The other day he said if I had let him come it wouldn’t have been the optimal time and that was more than a three day wait. He just wants to come more often. Too bad. I take into account how often he wants to come but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I actually let him come when he wants to. Now if I want him to come that’s another story. I can do it whenever I want. Whether he wants to or not. Of course he rarely resists when I want to give him a bonus orgasm.

I think my pet is also having sophomore slump. Since we got the cage back after his nearly two weeks of being wild, he’s not as happy as he was when it first went on. That first year was full of excitement and new things and the promise of all the wonderful things that would happen now that I am in charge. This second year is less exciting. More of the same. Now the work begins. Second thoughts about giving up control of Mr. Weenie. Uh oh, what have I done?

This morning he emailed me that the cage has been pinching and if it continues he may have to go back to the larger ring. But, oh by the way, you should make me wear it a while longer because it is more secure. He is struggling to control how things go without being able to control how things go. I know the cage is pinching. He was squirming a lot while we were at the movies the other night. I know it’s tighter. I told him his skin was a little pink where the ring is rubbing. We decided he just needed to get used to it. At some point we’ll have to decide how long is long enough. My primary focus is always his comfort. Even when he’s supposed to be uncomfortable (during a spanking, for example) I want the correct amount and type of discomfort. Having the cage pinch and rub for the sake of it being a little more secure doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. I never saw him escaping as an issue.

My poor Lion is having a mini panic attack about having to wait for 16 or 25 days. That’s definitely like having Mt. Everest in front of him. How will he ever manage to climb all the way to the top? For starters, he’s got me as his sherpa. I can encourage him. I can push him. I can pull him. I can yell at him. But somehow we’re getting up the damn hill! And if the weather turns we’ll just hunker down in our sleeping bags together and have some fun.

Yesterday Lion went to the doctor for his back. He had to strip down to his undies and he was concerned that the cage might be seen. I told him that’s what the emergency key is for. Luckily he was given a gown so he was hidden anyway.

Not that he goes to the doctor all that often, but I was still at work with no real possibility of leaving for at least an hour. I couldn’t have met Lion to unlock him. Even if I could have left I would have had to stop at home to get my key and, with traffic, it would have taken me too long to get there. This is why I insisted he take his emergency key with him. (He was only bringing it with us on our trips in case I forgot mine. That defeated the purpose entirely.)

I think he sees it as a source of pride that he has never had to remove his cage. Or tried to escape, for that matter. He tells me about people who buy cages just to try to get out of them. My Lion is not a Houdini. Even in the face of being discovered he was reluctant to use his key. When he said he had an appointment I never thought about the cage. Why would I? I’m not wearing it. I was more concerned with the fact that his back was hurting enough that he needed to see a doctor. If I had thought about it I would have told him it was ok if he needed to remove it. He probably wouldn’t have, but it would have been fine. Had he removed it even without my prior approval it would have been fine. He’s a big boy. He knows what constitutes an emergency.

In hindsight, I should probably be more aware of the cage in these circumstances. I should have told him to take the cage off. Giving him permission adds an element of decision on his part. He’s allowed to take it off but does he have to? Theoretically he wouldn’t be able to argue if I tell him to. Lesson learned. Now all I have to do is remember it in the future.

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