By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Sex

One of the least discussed aspects of enforced chastity is enjoyment, particularly for the keyholder. I know that the enforced chastity mythology claims that the keyholder gets endless pleasure from the service of her caged male. On the surface, that seems valid. But if you think about it, the keyholder could get exactly the same services and pleasure from her partner without the trouble of locking up his penis. According to the myth, males are reluctant to give orgasms to their partners unless they lose the use of their cocks. Really?

Even if that were true for some men, who would want to take the time and energy to cage them in order to force them to do what they should have been doing all along. The myth is about selfish males who are “taught” to be giving by taking away their orgasms. I will do anything for Mrs. Lion. I always felt that way. It has nothing to do with my penis.

The question of where the keyholder gets pleasure from enforced chastity is valid. It isn’t from her orgasms or his help in other things. She gets that anyway. It has to come from a new direction. Some women genuinely enjoy the role play. They have fun training their caged males. I suspect most women don’t find that aspect especially rewarding. It may be fun, but not a giant motivator.

I’ve long wondered why Mrs. Lion has been so diligent with our enforced chastity and FLM. She isn’t in it for the sex. She knows that it means a lot to me and making me happy certainly is a key motivator. Over time, I think there are other opportunities for her to get satisfaction.

Thursday night we played. It was an extremely intense edging session. I was sure several times that she was going to let me come. She even speeded up when I got close. But she stopped just before the happy ending. She was incredibly close over and over. There were no ruined orgasms and no satisfaction for me. It was perfect edging that left me a puddle of frustration.

Later in the evening and Friday morning she seemed very pleased with what she did. She should be. That pleasure suggests a way she might find more satisfaction and at the same time make me happier too. We know that I have a cycle of frustration that is well understood. What if using her considerable skill, Mrs. Lion could change the cycle and extend my increasing sexual frustration longer?

We know that yesterday was my fifth day and the day I am most frustrated. I wonder if the sixth day letdown and then the gradual loss of interest can be reversed by Mrs. Lion’s skilled hands. Over time I wonder if she can keep me at a high level of need for as long as she wants. This is the sort of challenge she may enjoy. I realize that if she is successful and I am still very horny next Thursday when my next orgasm is scheduled, that she might extend my wait to continue keeping me frustrated. I don’t mind if she wants to do that. It’s a valuable experiment.

I realize that this method of delivering satisfaction to her can result in my waits being extended. I don’t mind. I know I hate the frustration, but I like the way it meets what I asked her to do for me. I think it is very important for me to help my lioness find ways to get pleasure and satisfaction out of my enforced chastity. Are there ways I haven’t considered?

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Sex

The clouds have returned after a brief, sunny respite. After a three day hiatus, play is back to normal as well. I’m still pretty tired from the issue with my eye. Things are improving, or at least not getting worse. Times like this remind me how lucky I am. I know that the love of my life will help me get through anything that befalls me.

One issue the confronts most of us who want to maintain a power exchange like enforced chastity is that over time the exchange becomes just one more part of life. Living with a chastity device locked on my penis is routine. It’s the way things are and will always be. Even though I get some time without it, even then I forget it’s not there. I can’t speak for her, but Mrs. Lion expects me to be locked in too. I think it’s passed the point of being something I want and is now part of us.

The same is true of our play sessions. It’s our sex life. I’ve learned that edging is the norm; orgasms come at intervals, but I no longer expect sexual stimulation to imply that I will ejaculate. That is very infrequent. The vast majority of my sexual pleasure is produced by Mrs. Lion’s hands. Sometimes she uses her mouth, much more infrequently she will ride me. I never masturbate, but my lioness masturbates me almost every night. Of course, I’m not masturbated to orgasm, but her hand gives me a very vigorous workout edging me over and over.

None of this was typical of us two years ago. In 2014 we rarely has any sexual activity. What we did have was an occasional hand job to orgasm. Neither of us was happy with it. In one sense things haven’t changed. Hand jobs are still most of my sexual experience. But boy are they different! They are both better and worse: Better in that they are beautifully executed and work me into a lather. Worse because they almost never result in orgasm.

We are both having more fun. Granted, it isn’t the same kind of fun for each of us. I’m both loving the sexual stimulation and hating the frustration. Mrs. Lion is enjoying arousing me and eventually making me ejaculate. We are both loving the increased communication and affection. We are not just communicating about sex and power exchange. The power exchange dynamic has facilitated more openness and willingness to change. Mrs. Lion is beginning to let me know what she wants and doesn’t want. We haven’t quite gotten to the point that she will punish me for doing something she doesn’t like, but we are moving in that direction.

We’ve made a lot of progress. I think our next step will be reward and punishment. That is a very difficult step for both of us. Enforced chastity was relatively simple to implement. For Mrs. Lion it was doing something that would make me happy. Only after considerable time passed did we realize it was much more than something to please me. I think that reward and punishment will be even better for us both. No matter how much I talk about wanting to surrender, I know that I like having my own way and taking charge. It’s easy for Mrs. Lion to let me. But we both know it would be better for us if she would expect her wants and needs to be met and to take whatever action is necessary to assure I fulfill them. We’ve been working on this around the edges. I’m not sure what it will take for us both to plunge in. But have no fear, we will. What we have done so far have been very good for me. I’m being trained to be a much easier lion to live with.

By:
In: Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Sex

Are orgasms like potato chips; you just can’t have one? Of course most males have them one at a time with substantial spacing between “bites”. Even without enforced chastity I doubt I would have more than three a week. When I was younger, an orgasm a day kept lion grumpies away. Now, an orgasm a day would stop being fun in under a week. Oh how we change with age!

Male orgasms, at least for me, are habit forming. It’s a little like drugs; once you’re hooked you have to detox. After a while, you no longer crave the drug. The same is true of orgasms. If, as Mrs. Lion joked, my last orgasm was January 1 2016, I would be a very unhappy lion until January 30. Then, I would slowly forget about orgasms entirely. I’ve come to learn that some males like the idea that enforced chastity will facilitate their kicking the orgasm habit. Not me.

For males, orgasms are like solar energy; when harnessed they will provide all sorts of useful benefits. If blocked, a major renewable energy source is lost. Let me explain. Orgasms themselves aren’t the source of useful male behavior. The desire for an orgasm is a fundamental motivator for virtually every animal. Males of all species will do nearly anything for the opportunity to orgasm. The hotter that flame of desire burns, the more the resulting heat drives males to higher levels of energy.

So, enforced chastity is not the removal of orgasms as its name implies. It is the harnessing of one of nature’s most formidable forces: male desire to orgasm. A keyholder wants her male “hooked” on orgasms. She wants him to remember how much he wants them. She provides them often enough to keep him wanting more, but not enough to give him much rest from his desire.

It turns out that this can be tricky. For example, Mrs. Lion edges me almost every day, yet after a while, even though I enthusiastically respond to her ministrations, I begin losing my desire for ejaculation. That surprised me when I first realized that was happening. My working theory has always been that as long as I received teasing and edging, my hormones would keep flowing and my desire to come would grow and remain high until I finally got relief. It turns out that for me it’s true but only up to a point. After two or three weeks, I still respond very quickly to stimulation and feel massively frustrated after edging, but once the session ends, I quickly forget about sex.

On the other hand, if my last orgasm wasn’t too far in the past, after edging there is a prolonged sense of frustration. The next day I find myself wishing for that elusive orgasm. In short, I remain in heat. The longer I go without an orgasm, the less orgasm matters until the next time I am teased. In a very real sense, teasing satisfies me more and more as time goes by.

Many keyholders want to harness this male sexual energy. It’s pretty easy to do. Just let him know that his next chance to orgasm depends on him pleasing you. If you give him specific tasks, sexual or not, that will help advance the date of his next orgasm, he will attach those tasks with growing enthusiasm every day he is made to wait. But, as I mentioned before, this only works up to point. After a while he will lose interest in the orgasm. You can tell this has happened when he complains that after he comes he is depressed for days and would rather not go through that. He begins encouraging you to make him wait longer and longer.

That complaint is not entirely bad news. Looking at it in a slightly different way, what he is saying is that it’s easier for him when he’s not in heat. But then you use that heat as a renewable energy source. He may actually feel depressed after an orgasm. It’s normal and is called the refractory period. This is the time it takes a male to regain the ability to come again. In enforced chastity, I think that period changes from when he is physically able to come again to when he can start to forget how much he wants another orgasm. I doubt that the males even realize this. Of course, I may be completely wrong, but this is my theory. The keyholder as a good sex “pusher” will give her male just enough orgasms to keep him addicted and wanting more. She can use edging as a way of assuring his desire for another orgasm remains high. But he never gets “enough”. She always makes sure that his desire to do anything to get his next “fix” remains high. Mrs. Lion is very good at keeping me in heat.

By:
In: Advice for a new keyholder, Keyholder, Keyholder101, Sex

Mrs. Lion had promised that if, after all of the birthday weekend teasing, I am a “horny boy”, she said I would have an orgasm Monday. Yesterday was Monday and she kept her promise. I’m sure she’ll tell you about the fun in her post later today. I leave that pleasure to her.

I’ve been thinking about the role of a caged male. In my case, it is limited to experiencing sexual stimulation and occasional orgasm at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. However, that is a much more limited role that many guys have. My situation is different in that Mrs. Lion is currently not interested in receiving sexual attention. I’m hoping this will change, but for now the arousal is all mine.

In a more typical relationship, the cage turns the male into a sexual genie. His role is to be a wish granter for his keyholder. All of the sexual energy he might of focused on himself can now be used on his keyholder. Also, his keyholder, knowing he can’t experience sexual stimulation himself, is free from the guilt that having orgasms while leaving her partner high and dry might have caused her. In fact, it may be a good way for a keyholder to think of her caged male. In the beginning it was probably all about making his enforced chastity fantasy come true. Hopefully that evolves into something much more interesting to his keyholder.

Enforced chastity has placed him in a situation where he expects to give pleasure without reciprocation. That aspect of enforced chastity is almost always part of the fantasy. He won’t be surprised when you start using him sexually. What he might not expect is that now he is caged, you can roll over after your orgasm and go to sleep with absolutely no guilt at all. He has become a sex toy that you can use and then put aside while you do other things.

This is not easy for many women to process, including Mrs. Lion. Sex was always about him, your pleasure always included an orgasm for him. Typically, when he came the party was over. Your orgasm was never the reason for the sex. Even if he was a thoughtful lover, you still had to keep his release in mind. He wasn’t going to be happy if you finished and forgot about his need. Now that he is locked up, he is your genie. You don’t even have to rub his “lamp”. He will quickly learn that his keyholder has sex and he provides it. Any male orgasms are rewards or events for the amusement of his keyholder.

This may be starting to sound like the classic male chastity fantasy. It isn’t, or rather it doesn’t have to be. The hard reality of not only having his penis locked up but also discovering that enforced chastity is not only about delaying his pleasure, but that it is more about increasing his keyholder’s sexual enjoyment could be upsetting when it gets through his head. Unfortunately, many enforced chastity relationships never get to the point where the male realizes that he has gone from pleasure receiver to pleasure giver. The reason this doesn’t happen is that his keyholder never takes the appropriate action.

It’s hard for a woman to become sexually “selfish”. She’s been conditioned to put her partner first. I think that one reason many couples give up on enforced chastity is because the keyholder just sees her partner’s lockup as more work to keep him sexually entertained. A lot of guys are very happy with that interpretation.

As a keyholder, you have to make some changes. The changes will ultimately make you happier and will give him the power exchange he wants. No, you don’t have to become an inconsiderate bitch. But you do have to consciously put your pleasure first. It’s pretty easy to do this. Step one: schedule when he gets to come next. You don’t have to tell him, but you will know it is some date in the future. Just that knowledge is a big guilt-reliever. Next, let him know he will come, but not until you decide the time is right and that the more he entertains you, the sooner that will be. Of course, you know that isn’t completely true, but it is very important for him to associate with his eventual release with your satisfaction with his services. Even in my situation, I love thinking that I have earned my orgasm. True, I don’t often have a good way to earn one, but when Mrs. Lion rewards me for something specific by making me come, I love it on many levels.

That’s the bottom line. Caged males want to be wish granters. They don’t want reciprocation. They want to provide you with pleasure without receiving any in return. I’m no different. That pushes my buttons. I bet it pushes your caged male’s too.