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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Sex

Lion likes to assume the worst. What I see as a week’s worth of getting used to his new job and how that affects the way things run around here, he sees as a loss for his libido and play time. It’s not enough that I said we’ll catch up on the weekend. He should know about trying to catch up on things since we’re trying to play catch up with our bills. It doesn’t happen overnight. Well it could, but I couldn’t make the weekend get here any faster. Believe me, I tried.

Today I was going to have a me day. Lion has had an extended, albeit unwanted, vacation for the past six months. Today was going to be my first me day in a long time. I had big plans. I had no plans. That’s what me time is. I was going to vegetate. Then life invaded. There are chores to do. I get it. Lion did a lot while he was home. I just wanted one day. Nope.

Lion is unhappy about being neglected. Understandable. I’m unhappy when he ignores me too. However, we spoke about the uncertainty of his new job. There were logistics we couldn’t control. By the time we get home we’re tired and then we need dinner and then we need showers and then we can settle in. Lion talks about pausing the TV. The other night when I went to take a shower he acted like he didn’t want to pause it so I could watch the show with him. But he wants to pause it to play. Okay. Last night he didn’t want to watch Jeopardy so he could turn on the football game. I’m going to tell him to pause the Giants when they are actually playing well so we can play? I don’t think so. Well, tonight that won’t be an issue.

I’m hiding the remotes. All of them. Living room, bedroom, Lion’s office – hidden. There’s nothing to pause if you can’t turn it on to begin with. Will I miss Jeopardy again? Yup. Will Lion be neglected tonight? Nope. Will I be able to resurrect Mr. Weenie from the dead? I don’t know but I’m going to try. And whether Mr. Weenie cooperates or not, Lion will be locked up again tonight. I know I said he was going to be wild till after his orgasm on Saturday or Sunday, but I’ve changed my mind. Don’t poke the lioness and you won’t feel her claws.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

According to Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday, I will stay wild into the weekend. I do enjoy not wearing the cage. But it doesn’t make me horny or tempts me to do anything sexual. The big reason, other than I won’t  do anything on my own is that after three days of no stimulation, I lose interest. It isn’t incurable, but it does bother me that it happens at all. It’s natural; I know that. The older a man gets, the easier it is to abandon sex. I don’t have the stats at my fingertips, but libido drops off each year over fifty. One reason the vast majority of guys practicing enforced chastity are over fifty. Very few are under forty. In my case, it wasn’t flagging sexual drive as much as how exciting the thought of penis bondage is to me.

Based on my reading of posts and forum entries by men over fifty who I believe are not just writing fantasies, it seems that many are happy to have longer and longer waits. Some are happy to abandon orgasms permanently. I have no doubt that the decision is partly due to loss of sexual interest. The bonus is that the keyholder has been getting lots of orgasms so she is very happy to continue as sexual recipient. Most of the men report that they get sexual pleasure from their keyholders’ orgasms and substitute it for their own.

For a long time I found that hard to believe. I love my orgasms and I couldn’t see giving them up for any reason. But now that I have had no stimulation for most of the week, I can understand how that happens. Mrs. Lion reported that I had little interest in play. She said it was due to all the changes going on. I’m sure that is a big contributor. Another is that Mrs. Lion shows no real inclination to play until after 9 PM. Given I get about five hours sleep a night and as it gets later I get more itchy and tired, it isn’t surprising that my interest is low.

Mrs. Lion needs time to unwind and play iPad games. Unfortunately, when she is ready to go, I’ve past my play-before time. This isn’t a new issue. It’s come up before. I really can’t do anything. Time is not on my side. Every passing day without stimulation reduces my overall interest. Every evening when it passes 9 PM, what interest I had is gone. The general theory that the longer a man waits, the more desperate for sex he gets simply isn’t true for me. Every day without stimulation (edging or teasing) reduces my interest. If I’m watching TV, which is one reason I get for not playing earlier, I  can always hit “pause”. I know that Mrs. Lion says that I don’t show interest and that is a reason she doesn’t try. Of course, every day that goes by without teasing, the lower my hormones go and the less interested I am the next day.

I am sure that with an early start and her amazing lion-teasing skills, Mrs. Lion can revive me. Unfortunately,this isn’t just about sexual desire. For me, at least, there is an emotional cost. Each day as the 9 PM witching hour approaches I feel sad. It isn’t a bratty, “Why am I being ignored” feeling. It’s just my realization that I am getting too uncomfortable and tired even if she wants to play. I also realize that tomorrow I will be less interested. I’m not blaming Mrs. Lion. I think it is just my biological realities. My allergies get the best of me as the evening wears on and my ability to generate sexual hormones without stimulation prevents me from being horny the next day. I can get it all back with some attention from Mrs. Lion.

This has been a very instructive week. It’s proven to me that my initial assumption about enforced chastity that the male becomes more and more desperate for sex and becomes easier to control, was completely wrong. Over time, less for me, more for younger men, sexual interest will lessen and eventually disappear. In my case that doesn’t take long at all. I imagine at some point it becomes nearly impossible to reverse. I know Mrs. Lion won’t ever let that happen to me.

By:
In: Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Yesterday was my first day of work. It was nice to be back as a productive member of society. It will take me a while to fully understand this new company and their products, but the people are very nice and I don’t feel buried. Mrs. Lion let me stay wild today. It gave me one less thing to worry about (layout of men’s room, etc.). The company has a full scale gym on premises. It will take some creativity to figure out how to change and workout with the cage on. I no longer have an excuse to avoid exercise. The gym is free, so our poverty isn’t an issue. After my first pay check, I can probably afford sweat pants and a long-sleeve shirt to use. I am sure that Mrs. Lion will not accept gym visits as a reason to remain wild. Even if she would, I don’t think I want that.

Sunday night was amazing. Mrs. Lion went lion riding and it felt wonderful. It didn’t take me too long to come. Of course, being edged a bunch of times first didn’t do anything for my staying power. I hope she will want to go riding again soon. My next scheduled orgasm is in four days; a very manageable wait. We’ve received a lot of criticism for my short wait times. It really seems to get to some people. Mrs. Lion growls every time we get a comment or email telling her that she should make me wait longer. This obvious difference between us and our detractors caused me to think about why we are different. The main difference, I think, is that Mrs. Lion hasn’t been interested in her own orgasms. I think many keyholders like the extra sexual energy devoted to then when their caged males wait longer and longer.

It becomes a game; a transfer of sexual communication from the traditional, male-led, male-ejaculatory sex to female orgasmic sex. There is a reduction of pressure on the keyholder to provide reciprocal pleasure. She can just enjoy her own orgasms without any obligation to provide one to her partner. For some women this is liberating. For many, if not most caged males, this transfer from receiving to exclusively providing pleasure is intensely exciting. As I have discovered, the act of taking away my ability to orgasm is a big turn on. Based on what other guys have written, this perverse pleasure is common. It may be why almost every caged male started his own chastity by asking someone to lock him up.

Where Mrs. Lion and I part company with most enforced chastity couples is that my chastity isn’t a game of constantly extended waits. Mrs. Lion keeps me waiting long enough to get very horny. Sometimes she pushes me well past that point with three or four week waits. Since I am used to an orgasm every ten days or so, the longer waits send home the message of who is in charge. In a way, the shorter waits set me up for greater frustration when my lioness makes me wait two or three times as long. She’s created a self-limiting environment where the currency is my frustration and longing. I think that she’s proven that continually extended wait time isn’t needed to exercise full sexual control of me. In our case, it’s the varying waits that keep me off sexual balance.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

I finally return to work today. I admit that I am a bit nervous for a couple of reasons: The first is that I have been out of work for more than six months. Even though the struggle for a job is over, all those no’s have left scars. Second, my new employer is a much smaller company than my previous employers. I’m sure the culture will be considerably different. The last six months have taught me that it is much harder to land a job the older I get. I’ve been told that I sound much younger on the phone. That, along with my qualifications, have gotten me a lot of interviews. I could see in the hiring managers’ eyes that they expected a thirty-something and not me. I don’t look old, but I don’t look thirty or even forty. I think that’s the reason I am worried. It’s clear that if this job doesn’t work out, it is unlikely I will find another.

My concerns have affected my interest in sex. Saturday Mrs. Lion played with me. It felt good, but I just couldn’t get further. I’m writing this on Sunday afternoon. I know she will be trying again tonight. I hope that my interest will return. I’m still wild. Truth is, I am so used to the cage that I forget I am not wearing it. Only when I reach down to “adjust” do I remember there is no steel there. I don’t know when she will hand me the ring and I go back into my Jail Bird. Right now I’m not thinking about that at all.

When I was first locked up, I was surprised at how many guys writing posts or forum entries were unlocked. They were all practicing enforced chastity for several years. My chastity device was an exciting part of the way I felt about our new kink. I couldn’t understand how those other guys were still chaste if they weren’t caged all the time. Now I get it. After 20 months of being caged, the physical device is no longer required to assure that I will abstain. It surprises me that I have been so thoroughly conditioned. Does this mean that I no longer should be caged?

Mrs. Lion and I have spoken about this. I’ve given it a lot of thought. When we first started, the device assured that I wouldn’t masturbate. It also reminded Mrs. Lion that I was totally dependent on her for sexual attention. It also provided a tangible symbol of Mrs. Lion’s power that I couldn’t ignore. It worked perfectly for us. Now, we both understand that the cage is not needed to keep me from playing with myself or to remind Mrs. Lion to give me sexual attention. That’s working fine. I think the cage has a new contribution to us. It’s now a sexual tool that Mrs. Lion can use to provide positive and negative feedback to me as needed.

Let me explain. When I am locked up, it is clear that there is no chance of sex; none. If I am with Mrs. Lion and locked up, I understand that unless she takes the key out, sex isn’t happening. When I am wild, she can see if I am obviously interested. True, she can still ignore my arousal, but historically she yields to temptation. I also have to admit I like the feeling that I have no choice about sex. When I am wild, even though I wouldn’t, I have the ability to jerk off. When I am locked up, there is no chance for that or anything else. OK, OK, it’s also a kink of mine. I love bondage. The chastity device is sexual bondage. ‘Nuff said.

But there is a different feeling about being locked up around here. Mrs. Lion can reward me by letting me stay wild for a while. She can also let me know if she is less than thrilled by not unlocking me for a few days. There is a cost if she does leave me locked. When she finally decides to play with me, it will be more difficult to get me aroused. At least that is our experience so far. The chastity device is evolving in the way we use it. Exactly how Mrs. Lion decides to treat it has yet to be revealed. Stay tuned.