Sex (Page 2)

I haven’t been sleeping very well. When we watch TV, I usually fall asleep at times. Maybe I am turning into my crazy uncle who always fell asleep in an easy chair after dinner. I hope not. As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday, she gave me a blow job that took me disturbingly close to the edge. She decided that was enough fun for me and stopped. Actually, she did that to me three times before she stopped. I had a lot of fun.

I’ve been wondering how women perceive sex with men. Of course, I know how it feels to me. I’m completely aware of how I learned to please a woman. But I really don’t have any solid idea of how it feels from the other side. It’s impossible for me to hide my sexual interest. My penis gets hard and if I am naked, it shows any observer my arousal. Women have much more subtle signs of arousal. Casually glancing at a naked woman is unlikely to reveal her interest in sex. A much closer examination is needed to find out.

We all take for granted the physical differences between men and women. They are obvious. What’s not obvious, at least to me, is how I’m perceived by a member of the opposite sex. From what I’ve read online, seeing an erect penis draws mixed reviews. Obviously, if a woman is uninterested in sexually engaging with this particular erection, she won’t be interested in it. She might feel offended that it’s being shown to her. On the other hand, if it belongs to someone she likes and wants to know sexually, I imagine it’s a welcoming sign.

I wonder how women learn about handling a penis. Were they taught by other girls when in their teens? Did their first male lover give them lessons? How did they get their practice? It isn’t obvious. When I was a boy of 11 I knew it felt good to get hard but I had no idea what that meant. One afternoon after school, one of my friends showed me. We had the usual exploratory games of strip poker etc. But they didn’t include anything remotely sexual. This kid showed me what he did to himself. I was surprised. Gamely, I gave it a try and saw fireworks within seconds. It was the birth of a new hobby that served me well until seven years ago.

My first sexual partner was a virgin like me. We kissed and touched and hugged and finally our fingers explored below the waist. I had no real idea what to do there. I noticed the wetness and gamely inserted my finger and moved it around. She liked it a lot. She petted my penis much like she would a cat. I offered to give her an idea of what I like. I showed her how to jerk me off. She liked that. I liked it more. She was surprised at the mess I made when I had my orgasm. She courteously found me some tissues to clean up.

She had never masturbated so she had no clear idea of what I should do for her. I moved my fingers around and she had a very nice orgasm. We both decided that we were ignorant and needed some help. We found a “marriage manual” that gave instructions on sexual basics. That was enough. We discovered oral sex. We both loved it.

Over the succeeding decades, I dated women with a wide variety of ignorance on the subject of male pleasure. One very notable partner, Mary, was a very beautiful woman. She was 5’9″ tall with long brown hair. The talking stopped in a room she walked in. I was very lucky she decided to date me. When it came to having sex, she kissed and hugged and let me fondle her top and bottom then she would lie down waiting for me to penetrate her. She had no real concept of reciprocating foreplay.

At one point, I said I would like it if she did some things for me. I showed her how to masturbate me. She did it and commented that nobody had ever asked her to do that before. I also asked her to do oral sex. I had been going down on her for some time. She was surprised but agreed and did a pretty good job. We never got all the way to ejaculation because she strongly believed that ejaculation should only take place inside her vagina. It’s a good thing I had had a vasectomy. It was fun while it lasted.

I know how Mary learned to play with a man. I taught her. Is this what happens with most women? How did Mrs. Lion learn to jerk me off? I didn’t teach her. My demonstration took place about a decade after the first time she had done that for me. Clearly, she knew how to do it long before meeting me. The same is true of oral sex. She was absolutely expert at it right from the start.

Now we get to the more touchy subject: swallowing. My first partner became very expert at getting me off orally. She never swallowed my semen. She would go into the bathroom and spit it out. I didn’t like that, but I didn’t say anything. Since then, one or two women did the same thing. I don’t understand. Isn’t the damage already done when I ejaculate in her mouth? It lands on her tongue where she can taste it. Swallowing it is easier and faster than holding it in her mouth until she can spit it out. I really don’t get it. Very lucky. Mrs. Lion actually likes the taste of my semen. Go figure.

I would really like to understand how a woman perceives a penis and how she learns to handle it. I would love to know how it feels to her when she gets a man off. I know how it feels when I give Mrs. Lion orgasms. I love feeling her move her hips under my face. I love the sounds she makes. It really turns me on. I’m pretty sure sucking my cock doesn’t have a similar effect on her. Inquiring minds want to know.

May is masturbation month. According to the narrow definition, masturbation is the practice of sexually stimulating oneself usually to orgasm. Some, more narrow definitions insist it is limited to stimulation by hand. However, the broader definition allowing the use of toys is more generally accepted. The last time I masturbated was by hand nearly 7 years ago. Since then, my orgasms have all been produced by Mrs. Lion. More than 99% by her hand and mouth.

This is my technique. I demonstrated this to Mrs. Lion the last time I was allowed to jerk off.

I’m not complaining. I always preferred her hand to mine. Recently, I’ve gotten a little tired of her hand. At least that’s what I think is happening. For the last month or so my orgasms have been via oral sex. Mrs. Lion is amazingly good at that. If I were able to give myself oral sex, would that be considered masturbation? When Mrs. Lion uses her hand on me, I guess there is no other name for this other than “handjob”. I have always thought of it as her masturbating me. This is because she uses the exact same technique I would use on myself if I were allowed to do this. However, I’ve just learned that’s an improper use of the word.

This is Mrs. Lion giving me a handjob with no lube.

I have always been curious about how women learn to jerk off a man. I asked Mrs. Lion a few times. Her answers have always been rather vague. Apparently, she learned by doing. Many women give handjobs using lubrication. That way, all they have to do is grab the hard penis and move their hand up and down. It feels good and there is no risk of doing something he might not like. Mrs. Lion has always used a dry hand. That means she has to grab at the right spot and hold on tight enough to move the skin up and down without letting her hand slip over the head. In a dry handjob, it is pretty uncomfortable if the hand slips over the head. It’s a little like sandpaper.

Every so often she does use lube. We’ve discovered; well, I’ve discovered that they don’t all feel alike. Almost all modern lubes whether water-based, oil-based, or silicone are very slippery. I find them less than thrilling because I like feeling my penis skin being moved at least a little. It turns out that coconut oil, aside from being edible and sweet-smelling, is not as slippery as the other stuff. I love the way that feels when Mrs. Lion uses it. We’ve been trying various lubes for years. I’m going to write a post about what we’ve learned about specific products in the future.

Learning to masturbate a woman was not intuitive for me. Early on when I was discovering sex with the woman who was also totally inexperienced, we experimented and I figured out how to use my hand or tongue to provide the most pleasure. She had a hymen that was so tough I couldn’t penetrate her. So, we did oral sex exclusively. We both got very good at it.

In the days when I could masturbate, I never used lube. It just didn’t feel right. When we decided to start male chastity, Mrs. Lion told me to masturbate while she watched. She wanted to see how I did it. She’s used my technique as the basis for her handjobs. I’m very curious about how other women discovered how to manually get their men off. Please comment and let us know.

Needless to say, we won’t be celebrating masturbation month. That’s not on our holiday calendar.

We’ve both had on-and-off digestive issues. As a result, I haven’t had any sexual attention since my orgasm last week. I’m not complaining. I haven’t been very interested. That doesn’t mean I won’t be interested when Mrs. Lion is ready, just means that I don’t seem all that ready to go so far. It’s been five days since I came. This is an exceptionally long period of time without sexual contact for us. I don’t know if this is a problem or just an accident. I don’t see any long-term trend pointing to more and more time passing between orgasms. In the short term, my waiting period has gone up by at least three days. It could be biological or perhaps emotional.

I realize this isn’t a piece of particularly interesting news on a blog like ours. However, it is what it is. The key element of fun in orgasm control is conflict. If the male partner wants to have an orgasm and the female makes him wait, it makes for interesting reading. In other words,  one party has to want it and the other not so much. When Mrs. Lion is making no move to do anything with me and I’m completely happy with that situation, there is no conflict or tension, therefore no sexy fun.

Neither of us is sleeping very well. Not sure what the problem could be. But we are both sleep-deprived right now. That contributes to my lack of libido. I’m pretty sure other couples go through things like this too. Even other bloggers have lulls in the action. Our commitment to daily journaling hangs this dirty linen on the line for all to see.

As of this morning, I am 75% waxed. On Tuesday, Mrs. Lion started to do the back side of me. She got through my butt, my back, and the back of one leg. I asked her to stop I was getting uncomfortable lying on my stomach on the massage table. I expect that she will resume today. I have to admit that I like the way my chest looks with no hair. I have tiny nipples and I like their contrast with my rather fair skin. I’m allowed a little bit of vanity, right?

Whenever we publish a post, it goes out as an announcement on twitter. I’ve discovered that if the first picture in any post is of genitals, particularly male genitals, twitter will somehow suppress any new people following my account. If I don’t publish any naughty pictures for a while, followers flock to us. This is typical of social network manipulation. Still, it’s a good idea to follow us if you want immediate notification of new posts. Another way is to simply subscribe to our posts. Just put your email address in the box at the top right of the page and you will be notified each time we publish.

Hopefully, by tomorrow, I’ll have much more interesting things to talk about.

When it comes to spanking, I’ve discovered that almost all of our paddles feel pretty much the same. Mrs. Lion likes to switch out I supposed to give me more variety. The truth is that I can’t tell the difference. Actually, that’s a good thing. She is a very good spanker. She knows how to make each stroke count. The more effective her swats, the less perceived difference I feel. That means that from my end of the paddle, it doesn’t make much difference what she selects when she chooses to swat my bottom. Invariably I will end up yelping and there is probably going to be some blood.

That’s something else I can’t understand. I have no idea why I bleed when I’m spanked. There is no visible sore. Just some blood appears. Mrs. Lion has learned to disregard this and continue her work until she feels I’ve had enough. Her idea of enough and mine is always different.

When it comes to sex, there seem to be just two choices: a hand job or a blow job. Sometimes Mrs. Lion uses coconut oil or another lube to add some variety to a handjob, but that’s pretty much it. Because she’s not currently interested in sex for herself, things are fairly standard and routine. I suspect she’s getting bored. I think I am too. This may be one reason why I’m less interested in getting off. It’s been two weeks (I’m writing this on Friday afternoon) and I’m not particularly desperate to get off.

I realize that in the spanking department it doesn’t matter whether I get variety or not. The purpose is to send the message to me. Mrs. Lion does this very effectively. I’m not sure that we have more than two possible reasons for sex: edge me or give me an orgasm. Are there any other possibilities? There have to be.

It’s been at least a year since we’ve played any games. I always liked them. I’m not sure why Mrs. Lion stopped wanting to play.

Even though we’re home together 24 hours a day, we don’t interact all that much. When we’re in the bedroom together, Mrs. Lion is busy playing on her iPad. I watch TV. We don’t really talk. When we’re not in the bedroom, we are at our individual desks doing things on our computers. I’m starting to think something’s wrong. There are lots of non-sexual things we could do. Certainly, there are a lot of fun sexy things too.

Clearly, this is something we have to talk about.