Spanking

Lion wonders what I feel when he breaks a rule. Sometimes I’m amused. Sometimes I just can’t believe he broke that one rule (whatever it might be) again. Sometimes, like yesterday, I’m unsure if we’re still playing the “game” anymore. He was upset with me and not showing much interest in my kisses or anything. Was I supposed to waltz into the room and say, “Nanner, nanner, nanner! You didn’t do the coffee again. I get to spank you!”? From my point of view, he could have told me to take a flying leap.

When it comes to the actual punishment, I’m hit and miss whether I tell him, or make him tell me, why he’s being punished. If I remember Lion likes pomp and circumstance, I go through a whole spiel about why he’s being punished and how he could have easily avoided it. Sometimes I tell him he’s bleeding all over my paddle like it’s all his fault, which it is since he caused the spanking by not following the rules. I think it all depends on how much I’m in character.

Of course, I have to be in some sort of character to punish him. “Just me” wouldn’t do it. I’m not sure Lioness 1.0 or 2.0 would either. Lioness 3.0 can get into it to some extent. Lioness 4.0 doesn’t care if he’s bleeding. She will keep going until she’s done. Maybe it was 3.5 who spanked him yesterday. She sort of cared that Lion said the swats were too hard, but she didn’t stop. It couldn’t have been 4.0 because she stopped when it looked like there would be bruising and some blood appeared. (There was no bruising, nor any sore spots afterward.)

I like to hear his report of how sore his buns are. If I’ve done a good job then he has trouble finding a comfortable position to sit. I know I’ve made a lasting impression. Maybe he won’t forget that rule again for a while. I’m not happy I’ve hurt him. Well, “just me” isn’t happy. But I realize this is something he needs and I can do it for him. It’s not like I feel guilty about doing it. I don’t need therapy. I don’t need to join a twelve step program for wives who spank their husbands. Unlike Lion telling me he can give up BDSM and our lifestyle, I can actually give it up. Lioness 4.0 would fade into the background, never to be heard from again.

That definitely does not mean I want to give it up. We’ve come a long way from my silly little barely-felt swats all those years ago. Lion must have wondered what he got himself into. “I’m sorry. Was that an actual swat or did a breeze blow through?” Now he knows what he got himself into and he hopes for a breeze to cool his fiery buns off. What a difference seventeen years can make!

For the record, I completely forgot to put the coffee pot together on Thursday. I definitely earned a spanking. Mrs. Lion wrote about this in her post yesterday. I couldn’t get a reading about how she feels when I break a rule. I suppose it isn’t important just so long as she diligently enforces transgressions. Part of me wishes she would feel more. Maybe that’s silly of me. After all, this is a simple transaction. I forget a chore and I pay the price.

The price is memorable enough so that I won’t forget again, at least for a while. That’s the part I always hope that I will hear about. One of the characteristics many women who punish their partners discuss is that invariably the male will forget and require punishment again. I hate to say it, but this is a characteristic I share. It also seems that it should be a source of amusement for Mrs. Lion.

This is what I was thinking about yesterday when I wrote in my post that we don’t seem to laugh at things that involve us. I can see the humor in my inability to remember a simple chore for more than a few weeks. Yes, our situation changed and that contributed to my forgetfulness. However, given the very painful consequences, you’d think that I would keep the few chores I have to do top of mind. I don’t. I’m sure that my spanking will correct me for a while, but sooner or later my bare butt will be paddled again because I forgot.

Lioness 4.0 is merciless when she spanks me. Even blood won’t stop her. I’m not sure why I seem to bleed during a spanking. No real sores are produced. In fact, I don’t show any bruises either. I figured it was due to the fact that my skin might be dry. I’ve been moisturizing my rear end almost every day. It has reduced the production of blood, but it hasn’t stopped it. No, it isn’t because I’m being spanked too hard or too much. It just seems to happen. Mrs. Lion has learned to consider it a normal side effect of my disciplinary education. The point is that she is going to complete her spanking regardless of my reaction.

I think that’s the most fearsome element to me. Punishment is inevitable and completely out of my control. Of course, that is how it should be.

Have you noticed that we’ve updated our website? The theme that we had been using for over six years was overhauled by its creator. The new version completely messed up our page. That forced me to find a new theme. It took a little while, but we finally got our site where we want it. I like it better than the one we had before. This one flows more easily and is more modern. I hope you like it.

You probably won’t be surprised that I got myself in trouble on Sunday. Actually, my goof was on Saturday. I forgot to set up the coffee pot. When Sunday morning rolled around, Mrs. Lion had to take care of the coffee. Actually, I pointed out to her that I forgot before she got up. I figured I could go in to take care of it on Sunday morning. Nope. She pointed out that I want her to be consistent and binary. Yup, I do. So spanking is on the Sunday agenda.

(I just took a break to set the coffee up for Monday morning. I’m not that stupid!)

Okay. Coffee is set up for tomorrow. That will save me a repeat spanking. The bottom line is that domestic discipline really works. It has the obvious benefit of providing a painful consequence if I fall down on my job or upset Mrs. Lion. Since she became serious about spanking, the consequence is serious enough for me to avoid earning new punishments.

There is a less obvious benefit. Without our disciplinary relationship, Mrs. Lion would have walked into the kitchen and seen that the coffee pot was not set up. Without a doubt, she would just get it ready for breakfast. She might not even think about it consciously. But I’m willing to bet that over time, these seemingly minor offenses add up. Sooner or later, they will emerge in a relationship-damaging way. It’s the old squeeze-the-tube-of-toothpaste-from-the-middle -of-the-tube sitcom scenario. Little seemingly-inconsequential annoyances eventually build up to a major explosion.

We don’t have to worry about that. Each and every issue, no matter how small, is handled promptly. Mrs. Lion expresses her displeasure in a very clear way. There isn’t a doubt in her mind that I don’t get the message. It only takes her a few minutes to give me a very painful spanking. By the time she’s done, I understand that I’ve done something wrong. I also know that I’m going to work hard to avoid repeating the problem.

Both of us have acknowledged and appropriately responded to a problem. I know that some of our readers think that it’s inappropriate to give a painful spanking as a consequence of a minor infraction. We’ve learned that this response works for us. I learn rapidly when Mrs. Lion consistently punishes me. She expressed her displeasure and moved on with her life. I feel the result of that spanking much longer. That’s a good thing. It’s a very clear reminder of my misdeed.

After a lot of experimentation, we’ve learned the best way for us to incorporate punishment into our marriage. We’ve tried many things. We built a point system that dictated how many swats I get. We thought that would make it easier by having assigned sessions during which the earned swats would be administered. It didn’t work for us because it was complicated and more importantly, by the time spanking was administered I had forgotten why I was getting it.

We tried adjusting the intensity of the spanking to correspond to the seriousness of the offense. This didn’t work either. It was difficult for Mrs. Lion to figure out how to provide different levels of punishment. Minor offenses earned light spankings that didn’t deter me from repeating the offense.

We learned that for a spanking to be meaningful to me, it has to be severe enough to make me want to avoid it. It also has to be administered as close to the offenses possible. Delay makes it harder to associate the pain with my misdeed. Along with that, we learned that it’s difficult for me to change if I’m not punished each and every time I do something wrong. Exceptions make matters seem less serious to me. It’s as though my offense isn’t really a problem. The punishment is more a BDSM activity than a serious response to a problem.

When Mrs. Lion spanks me each and every time I do something wrong and makes the spankings painful enough for me to want to avoid them, I learn very quickly. I do backslide sometimes. A good example is forgetting to set up the coffee on Saturday. I do the coffee pot every single day. It should be an automatic habit. Somehow I forgot. There were reasons I didn’t get the coffee done. We had gotten a large shipment of groceries and Mrs. Lion had them all over the kitchen. When I went in to set up the coffee pot, stuff was everywhere. That would certainly be a reasonable excuse. Right?

It isn’t. I could have come back later when the kitchen was clear. I let it slip my mind. On Sunday morning when I pointed this out to Mrs. Lion she could’ve excused it. She’s done things like that in the past. She’s let me off when there was a reason I might not have been able to do what I’m supposed to do. This time she didn’t. It was exactly the right thing for her to do. I could’ve found a way to get that job done. If it was important to me, I certainly would’ve done it one way or another. I let it slip down to the level of a chore I should do if it’s convenient.

A sore bottom, a very sore bottom is a sure cure for my failure to properly prioritize this chore. Anything less would be easy to shrug off mentally. Letting me get away with it sends the message that it really isn’t very important whether I do it or not. That’s why consistency is critical and a binary approach to spanking is effective for me.

We are starting to feel the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. Mrs. Lion was laid off from her job for at least a month. Friday was her last day. This makes a dent in our income, of course. It’s much more difficult for some of her colleagues. Some are single parents who were barely staying above water while they were working full-time. Mrs. Lion and her associates chipped in for a food delivery to one of them. It was a single mother who commented that she was completely out of food. It’s hard to imagine how difficult life will be for these hard-working people.

My retirement savings are shrinking. As of Friday, they went below the amount I contributed. I did shift most of my investments to money market and bonds when the epidemic began. However, about 1/4 of my 401(k) is invested in my company’s stock. It’s lost almost 40% of its value. I’m very tempted to move some of my money into the stock while it’s in this depressed situation. The company is fine in terms of its long-term prospects.

One thing that Mrs. Lion and I understand very well is that as long as the basis of our relationship is solid, we will find a way through adversity. We’ve been through hard times before. They tend to bring us closer. We’ve both made bad decisions over the years, but don’t see any reason to blame one another for them. We do the best we can. More importantly, we both know that.

I will be very happy to have the extra time with my lioness. We do very well together. I fully expect that once she gets her sea legs, I may get some extra painful attention because she is here full-time. On Friday night, she made wonderful coconut shrimp. We subscribe to Hello Fresh. The meals we get are absolutely restaurant-quality. Both of us find them easy enough to prepare

The coconut shrimp had a delicious apricot sauce for dipping. I didn’t realize that Mrs. Lion had put together two little dishes of that sauce. I made sure that the dish of sauce I was using was an easy reach for her. As a result, I managed to drip some of the sticky apricot sauce on my shirt. I asked Mrs. Lion if I would be punished. She said that I wouldn’t because I was trying to make sure she had some sauce as well

Is this Mrs. Lion reverting to a former, kinder self? Only time will tell. I’m not in favor of that change. I do much better when she is consistent, even if it means sometimes I am spanked for something unfairly. Spare the paddle spoil the lion. I know myself and us well enough to recognize the risk we take when consistency drops, even a little. An extra spanking is preferable to loss of disciplinary momentum.

In the past, when Mrs. Lion has been home for extended periods of time, both discipline and sexual activity seem to drop off. I’m not sure why this happens. I suspect it’s because when routine is broken, either new habits are formed or inertia sets in. I’m concerned about inertia.

We may have to figure out new routines that are independent of work schedules. I may need to be more proactive in terms of reminding her to do sexual things as well as discipline me. This isn’t optimal, but at least in the beginning it may be necessary. Also, maybe we need to continue our email exchanges even though she’s only a few feet from me. Some things are much easier to write than they are to say. I am confident that one way or another we will work this out.