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Mrs. Lion finally spanked me on Tuesday night. She did not hold back. I was yelping from the very start. I have a sore spot on the left side of my butt that hurts when I sit and even when I am in bed. I don’t bruise easily, so there is no mark. Mrs. Lion made a note to try harder next time. Gee, thanks.

spahing spoon on Lion's butt
Mrs. Lion used this paddle to spank me. It is the chechin spanking spoon. It’s made from very dense Chechen wood. This is one of the meanest paddle we own.

Part of the spanking was for interrupting and being “snarky”. I suppose I was. Mrs. Lion has a habit of using pronouns before she gives the noun it refers to. She will start a conversation with, “She said that she did this thing right, but didn’t. How dumb!”

Who did? I often interrupt to understand who she is talking about. The same was true of the prescriptions she brought home. She talked about “this one” and “that one”. I wanted to know what she got and how much each cost. I got impatient when she wouldn’t say. This is why I got the additional swats.

Mrs. Lion says that I have to wait and eventually she will tell me what she is talking about. In all the time we have been together, I can’t remember one time she actually did that. I think she assumes I know what she is talking about. I find this frustrating. I do much better when I know the referent of the pronoun. I also get frustrated when I ask a question and the response doesn’t seem to be what I expected.

I’m not trying to justify what I did. It’s fair to punish me for not being patient and waiting for the meaning to come clear. It’s very likely I can learn if Mrs. Lion consistently “corrects” me. Her communication style is different from mine. It’s certainly fair to teach me to accept it.

We haven’t done anything sexual since my orgasm last week. I’m not complaining. I imagine it’s because Mrs. Lion has been feeling under the weather. It’s difficult for her to do physical things around the house and last weekend she had a bunch of chores that caused her knees and other body parts to hurt. I have been feeling horny. That doesn’t mean I’m ready to have an orgasm again. It’s only been three days since I came.

My stomach problems continue. The doctor wants another stool sample. Mrs. Lion was overjoyed to hear that. NOT! I half-jokingly suggested I wear diapers to avoid “accidents”. Mrs. Lion said that would be worse than accidents. Her position was that cleaning me up after making a mess in a diaper would be really gross. I agree. Enough about my digestive tract.

If Mrs. Lion is serious about enforcing things I do that annoy her, I think I’ll be looking forward to frequent spankings. The only way to avoid this is for me to think very carefully before I say anything. Given that nasty sore spot I’m sitting on, I’ll be very careful, at least while it still hurts.

Men almost always suggest being put into male chastity. The biggest reason is that the resulting orgasm control is very hot for some men. There are endless stories and fantasies created describing how this could work. In real life, almost none of them are very exciting to our female partners. Believe it or not there is a big benefit for a woman with a partner who is locked in a male chastity device. It isn’t obvious and takes some time before she can take advantage of it.

Let’s start at the beginning. Sex for almost all of us is a reciprocal activity. That is the people enjoying it experience orgasms. We are all trained at some level to believe that each interaction should result in two satisfied partners. It makes sense. It turns out that this is not as easy to do is most of us think in the beginning. Women have considerably more trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse than they do when stimulated other ways. For many years it meant that women rarely had an orgasm during sex. Men, generally want more orgasms than women. This leads to secret sessions of male masturbation.

It also means that mutually satisfying sex is the exception rather than the norm. Maybe one of the big motivators for male chastity is a sense of guilt with the apparent inequality between the sexes. Also, a lot of men have a strong desire to feel some feminine authority. When a woman locks a man’s penis in a male chastity device, she has clear control over his ability to have sexual pleasure. A lot of women find this to be more trouble than fun. But they do it because they know it makes their men happy.

What they may not realize is that there is a secret benefit. If a man follows the general mythology of male chastity, he will want to provide orgasms for his partner even while locked up in a device that will prevent him from getting any pleasure himself. Some men believe that if they do a good job providing orgasms, their partners will unlock them and give them release. This is a transaction. I give you some really nice orgasms and you unlock me and get me off.

Regardless of the motivation, most of us who are practicing enforced male chastity get our orgasms in sessions dedicated to our pleasure. We give our partners orgasms when they want. Since our penises are unavailable at those times, we focus on giving pleasure. We have no real expectation of reciprocation. Over time, both people learn that sexual pleasure does not have to be mutual. In fact, it’s more fun if each partner experiences it without expecting anything in return.

As this becomes a habit, we learn to give pleasure without any expectation of getting some ourselves. For a man, this means he will focus on doing his very best to make his partner happy. In the back of his mind, he may believe that if he does a good job he will get his reward. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that he knows she will have fun and be sexually satisfied and, at least for the time being, he will not.

That’s the secret. Sex becomes something each partner gives the other. Even intercourse is considered something that is for the pleasure of one partner. Lots of men practicing male chastity penetrate their partners and provide them with orgasms and work very hard not to come themselves. Some men are lucky enough to be given the chance to have intercourse so they can ejaculate. In those sessions, their partners don’t expect an orgasm. The intercourse is purely for the pleasure of the male.

If a woman gets the greatest pleasure from receiving oral intercourse, her partner can do it as much as she wants. He doesn’t expect her to do anything other than enjoy herself. After all, he is under orgasm control and she hasn’t decided to let him ejaculate. When she does decide to unlock him (either physically or figuratively), she doesn’t expect pleasure for herself. She wants him to have a satisfactory orgasm.

This pattern of unrequited sex feels very odd at first, particularly to women. But over time it changes the texture of sex. It makes it possible to provide exactly what is wanted without any concern that it is “selfish”. Both people are happy. There’s no such thing as bad sex. All of this is made possible by timeshifting sexual pleasure. There is no better way to do this than through male chastity.

It’s now official that both of us are out of work. For the first time, we are still employees, just unpaid. Mrs. Lion’s office is thinking about opening soon. I doubt mine will open for some months. We started to watch that TV show blasted out on all networks showing people at home, well not people, celebrities. Someone had the bright idea that they should just sit there at home and sing. No echo, no acoustic treatment, etc. it was so obviously synthetic. Every single one of the people we saw before we gave up, has a complete recording studio at home. I don’t think it was particularly folksy to hear Lady Gaga singing in an acoustical environment worse than my own home office.

Enough growling.

We both had a lazy Saturday. We’re tired I think. Mrs. Lion mowed the lawn yesterday and I didn’t do anything special other than not sleep very well. Friday night was really very nice. Mrs. Lion found her rope and used it very effectively. There’s a picture of her handiwork on her post yesterday (“Tied Balls For The Win“). It felt very good to me. She also persevered bringing me to the edge over and over. I’m not sure what’s next.

Actually I am pretty sure. I’m just not necessarily ready for my next orgasm. My interest in sex seems to be drifting in and out. Mrs. Lion refers to my refractory period. She thinks that’s the time I’m not horny. Actually, the refractory period is the amount of time it takes to recover sufficiently to have another orgasm. It doesn’t necessarily mean how long it will be before I’d want one. In my case, my refractory period is about a day. If I have an orgasm at 8 o’clock on Monday night, I can have another on Tuesday at the same time. When I don’t seem to have the ability to get to the edge that next-day or days after, I think that something else. I’m not sure what it is. It may be environmental or just my frame of mind.

I haven’t been at my most cheerful lately. I could even be a little depressed. Contrary to the trite expression about this being a time of uncertainty relative to the COVID-19 epidemic, it is a time of personal uncertainty for me. My vision is deteriorating again. I’m planning to take the risk of going to the medical center for a visit to the ophthalmologist. I hope they can stabilize things. Until then I’m going to be worrying.

I wish I had more exciting sexual news for you tonight. But that’s all I got.

I think that I have fallen into a trap. I’m not alone; pretty much all of us have. We have been convinced that what we do is “kink”. Our sexual practices are supposed to be “unusual”. We’ve bought into this so completely that many of us consider ourselves “kink-positive”. I realize that this is just not good for me or us.

Think about it. Exactly what does it mean to say that something is kinky? To some people, like me for instance, it means that the activity is provocative and titillating to think about. To the vast majority of people, it means someone is doing something that is taboo. There is something wrong with the people practicing this. Unfortunately, kinky is usually a synonym to bad or perverted.

When it comes to sex, the only “normal” practice has to be penis to vagina intercourse. This is obvious since it is the mechanism by which we reproduce. Various religious and social groups have attempted to restrict the way you achieve this reproductive requirement. For example, many religions prescribe man facing woman “missionary position” sex. Anything else is kinky. Oral sex and masturbation are sins.

The things Mrs. Lion I do are so far outside the rules that we have to be considered perverts. We use toys, do anal play, perform oral sex, and practice female dominance including male orgasm control. I’m not sure we ever had missionary position sex. On our first “date” we did anal sex. Our vaginal intercourse has always been with Mrs. Lion on top. How naughty of us.

If this isn’t enough, all but two of my orgasms in about seven years have been produced either by Mrs. Lion masturbating me or giving me oral sex. I’ve been wearing a male chastity device most of this time as well. The two of us have been blogging for almost seven years. We’ve both accepted the idea that what we do is kinky or perverse. It absolutely isn’t.

There is no such thing is kinky. Maybe unusual is a good word since it describes something that doesn’t happen very often. Even that feels like a pejorative to me. What we do is completely normal. We both enjoy it and it is part of our daily lives. If you go by the accepted definition, for us missionary sex would be kinky. It would be perverted for us to engage in such a practice.

From now on I’m not going to refer to anything we do as kinky. Everything we do is normal for us. The word “kinky” in our lexicon refers to activities that are unusual for us to do. For example, in the unlikely event, Mrs. Lion lets me jerk off, that would be extremely kinky. If she observes me breaking a rule and doesn’t spank me, that too is kinky.

We have to stop buying into the pejorative vocabulary that’s been imposed on us. Society plays another trick on us: we are led to believe that if we can’t talk about what we do with people at work, for instance, what were doing has to be kinky. That’s complete garbage. The missionary position people don’t talk about what they do. They consider conversations about their sex lives as inappropriate. Guess what? Discussions about our sex life with people who aren’t intimate friends are inappropriate for us too.

I also think that we don’t have to celebrate our sex practices. I don’t care if anyone else does what we do. I enjoy finding out that others do, but it isn’t a big deal. I don’t think enforced male chastity or female-led relationships are the basis for a new religion that we should proselytize far and wide. People like us (Mrs. Lion and I) provide educational resources for some of the practices we enjoy. But I don’t see any particular reason to buy ads promoting male chastity or other things we do.

We don’t need a noun or a pronoun to add to discussions about what we do in bed. Neither do you.