Waxing

We are enjoying a quiet Sunday. Mrs. Lion made bacon and eggs for breakfast. It’s our dog’s birthday; she’s 8. She got two new toys. Both are big hits. She’s been running around squeaking one or the other all day.

Mrs. Lion waxes my flip side today. I’m not very hairy in back, so it is much quicker and easier for her. I spend a good part of the time on my knees with my butt in the air. That makes waxing my crack, ass, and perineum easier to access. It’s a vulnerable, sexy position. The rest of the back waxing is done with me on my stomach.

Mrs. Lion offered me the Box O’Fun on Saturday night. I asked to skip it. The hour was late and Mrs. Lion was worn out from her waxing chore. Maybe tonight we can do something. To be clear, I am writing this on Sunday afternoon while the wax finishes melting.

I have been thinking about sex. What a surprise! Oddly, my thoughts have been about vaginal sex. We haven’t done that since March 2018. The time before that was 2016. There’s a good reason for this: Mrs. Lion isn’t interested in sex for herself.

I’m not lobbying for vaginal sex right now. I would hope some would be in our future. I am just trying to see if there is a way to light Mrs. Lion’s fire without making her feel she is under pressure to feel something that just isn’t there. I’m fine with our status quo, as long as she is happy too.

In her post yesterday, she said that waxing my lower legs is very difficult for her. We talked about it. I’m fine if I am furry there. I like my upper thighs hairless. As long as she tapers the transition to my hairy area, I’m fine eliminating the lower legs.

(Later, waxing all done)

Given the state of the world, all this seems pretty inconsequential. I didn’t plan on being political so soon, but I have to respond to our former reality show host’s latest speech; this time at Mount Rushmore.

He claims we are in a cultural war. He made the same claim when he ran in 2016. This time, he says we are left-wing fascists determined to tear down democracy. This is the same sort of stupid rhetoric he uses regularly. The good news is some of his so-called base isn’t responding. Senior citizens and some women are no longer buying into this. His event at Mount Rushmore was largely attended by people sitting very close together and not wearing masks.

Part of me wants to applaud and suggest that he has more similar rallies around the country. That way, his base will erode further as they die from this mythical disease. That is pure Darwinism. Unfortunately, more than his supporters would suffer. These maskless ignoramuses come into contact with some of the rest of us when they go shopping and visit public places. They could merrily spread the disease they don’t think exists.

The good news is that no president facing reelection and winning has ever had the poor numbers Trump is now showing. It’s not safe to write him off. When he entered the 2016 race, he was 18th in the running. He managed to lie his way to the nomination and election.

Enough about that. Mrs. Lion finished waxing me from head to toe. She did a great job. As she works, she gives a running commentary of what she finds. For example, she said that my crack is nearly hairless, but the surrounding area is very hairy. Aren’t you glad to learn this?

This hair won’t die! Ok, it isn’t very thick, but by all rights it should be gone.

In most places, I seem to be having less regrowth. The regrowth I get is thinner, lighter colored hair. That is, with the exception of the aforementioned area. One little area just above my penis absolutely refuses to die. I had professional laser hair removal over my pubic area about 20 years ago. All of the covered area with the exception of that little patch remains bald to this day. When Mrs. Lion used our home version of the laser process, it did some good work, but still, that little patch stubbornly comes back. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s mutant follicles that resist any effort to stop them from producing fur.

I’ll live. Anyway, we are having sous vide New York strip steaks for dinner. It’s our delayed Independence Day meal. Yesterday, waxing ran late so we had pasta. Tonight it’s steak, tater tots, salad, and a nice vegetable. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m sure Mrs. Lion will report on any sexual activity we have tonight. I’m very sure it may be fun, but it won’t include an orgasm for me.

Normally I see nothing wrong with the arrangement we have around here. I don’t feel like Lion is taking advantage of me. I do things for him because they make him happy and when he’s happy I’m happy. I get what I need. He gets what he needs. All is right with the world. But then….

Maybe it’s when I’m tired or sore or super busy or whatever, I feel like he’s jumping on my last nerve. First of all, it’s my fault for letting things go. I acknowledge that. When the chicken is just a little overdone and maybe I could have done X a little better or “all you have to do” pops up, I start feeling like nothing I do is right or enough. And then there’s manscaping.

It feels like I’m in a store with a little kid. Can I have this? Can I have that? Can I, can I, can I, can I? Or when they ask for something and you tell them they can have it later. Now? How about now? Now? Is it later yet? Now? For god’s sake! Yes. Fine. Okay. Let’s do it now.

I don’t know why I hate manscaping. It really isn’t that bad once you get started. Maybe it’s the whole process. First, you have to melt the wax. Did I start it early enough? Will it be melted in time? Is it too hot? Why isn’t it pulling the hair out? What is it with that one stubborn patch? Why won’t you come out, you stupid little hair? And then there’s the wax that hangs on for dear life. I have to slather Lion with mineral oil to loosen it up and wipe it off with a towel. It’s such a production.

If you couldn’t guess, I’m tired today. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I know I actually have to go into the office on Monday. How am I going to make it a whole day at the office without falling asleep? Lion told me he had a dream I got sick and died because I went to the office. I don’t think it was one of his premonition dreams or feelings. I just know I’m putting us both in danger by going to work. However, the virus seems to be less prevalent here than in Seattle. Of course, the more we open up and move around, the more it spreads. But you can’t stay cooped up forever. You just have to do what you can to stay safe.

Although I miss seeing my coworkers, I don’t really want to go back to the office. Maybe I need to find a work-from-home job. They are out there. This virus has definitely proved that. Maybe mine doesn’t work as a full-time work from home job with my company, but the job does exist in other places. It’s time to explore those options. And it’s time to turn on the wax.

Ever since the day of Lion’s last orgasm, I haven’t been feeling quite right. I’m not sure if it was really light-headedness mixed with some slight stomach involvement or what exactly, but something was off. That may have had more to do with my not making it very far mowing the lawn than the heat and tiredness. Whatever was going on, it hit full force yesterday. It almost felt like Lion’s stomach issues had become mine. I was not happy.

Despite telling Lion how I was feeling, I swear he attempted to ask if he was getting any action. He’s lucky he got dinner. The bed hasn’t been changed in quite a while, but he asked if I felt well enough to change it. Um…no. Then he said we needed to vacuum the crumbs from the middle of the bed. It’s a side effect of eating in bed so much. But, no, I didn’t feel up to doing that either.

I admit it. I did get annoyed that he wanted me to do things when I didn’t feel well. How long have I taken care of him and not asked him to do anything? Can I just have a few hours to be on death’s door myself? I know he’s not able to do a lot so I’ll wind up doing things anyway, but maybe don’t add things to the list.

The good news is that today I feel much better. I’m cautiously optimistic about not wearing a path to the bathroom. I do, however, remember that Lion would start the day out feeling well and by the end of the day, he’d be running. Enough about health issues.

We had torrential downpours on and off yesterday. There wasn’t any more thunder but I’m not sure why the house didn’t float away. I guess the lawn just needed more water to grow. It’s like this every year. I fight a losing battle with the lawn until the beginning of July when it doesn’t rain for a few months and I gain the upper hand on the grass.

Lion mentioned the other day that he needs to be “mowed” too. I didn’t think so but the other night I felt fur. I was actually planning on manscaping this weekend, but then the stomach thing hit. Maybe I can do some on the weeknights. It’s easy enough to turn the wax on during the work day and check on it from time to time while I’m working from home. As soon as I “punch out” I can usher Lion into the room and start waxing. We can start with a Brazilian and his pits since those areas seem to be bothering him the most and go from there as time permits.

On Wednesday, Lion is having another shot into his shoulder joint to alleviate his pain. He was due for it more than a month ago, but things were shut down. It takes a while for the shot to take effect but then he should be good for a few more months.

In the meantime, the Box O’Fun is still available. Assuming we’re both able, we can make use of it tonight. Maybe he won’t select spanking again. I’m thinking if he does, I’ll institute my own do-over and have him select again. I don’t need to give more swats any more than he needs to get them. Besides, we’ll be starting maintenance swats tomorrow. He doesn’t get any then because he was spanked last week for forgetting to set up the coffee. If he’s good all next week, he’ll get a maintenance spanking a week from tomorrow.

[Lion — I wasn’t asking for play yesterday. I knew Mrs. Lion wasn’t feeling well. I also didn’t expect her to do chores. I’m still having the stomach problem so last night we both were running for the bathroom. It has been 6 days since my last orgasm and I don’t expect one today. I am horny. Mrs. Lion likes that and loves to keep me that way.]

When the time came to wax Lion, I wasn’t sure we’d be able to do it. He was still a little under the weather. We agreed to try and got the front done yesterday.

I’ve heard of some sort of syndrome happening because everyone is stuck at home. We get caught in some vicious cycle of not sleeping when we should and/or sleeping all day. I’m sure lack of movement is partially to blame. I wonder if people who take walks, are outside gardening or are working on inside projects are less likely to fall into this trap. I can’t say this helps me because I’m normally prone to naps even if, or maybe because, I am more active.

In any case, Lion seemed fine while I was waxing him. Of course, we could have stopped at any time if it was too much for either of us. That’s always the case. There’s no reason we can’t heat the wax up another time and continue. That’s the beauty of having in-home waxing. Lion would be less than half-waxed, but who’d see him? Especially now since he can’t really leave the house. Even if he did, no one would see if half his chest had hair.

I have to go to work this afternoon to gather supplies to work from home. I also need my marching orders. Apparently I’ll be doing projects rather than my regular work. Okay. This won’t really help them, but I won’t argue. The important part is that I won’t have to go to the office much, if at all, for a few more weeks.

Since I’ll be out for an unknown amount of time this afternoon, I can’t really commit to finishing Lion’s waxing today. Obviously, as I said yesterday, there’s no reason I couldn’t start later in the day, but I’d like to keep some timeframes normal. Besides, we might be able to do Zapardy! tonight. Come on hard questions!