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In: Chastity Hardware Security, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Most of what I write is an internal conversation I imagine that I am having with you. Sometimes I imagine myself leading a workshop, an activity I did quite often before moving west. I think about what I have learned and what I consider valuable to share. I’m not a teacher by trade, but the desire to share knowledge is strong in me. Over the nearly two years of my enforced chastity, I am surprised at how consistent my advice has been.

I’m not claiming that I got it right from the very beginning. I had a running start at all this. I came across sites about chastity devices in 1998 and was immediately turned on by what I read. Most of the people practicing this were single guys who were obsessed with security. They would buy or build a device and then try to escape. Once they succeeded they would get or create another device and try again. This was a very expensive hobby. An Access Denied chastity belt was over $500 at that time. I think it was the only device no one escaped.

I decided that I had to try out wearing chastity devices. I decided to review them online. Many device makers sent me samples to test. I had a frenum piercing so I was able to sample early Lori tubes. They were secured by the piercing. Boy, were they heavy! I think they still are. I was never able to wear one for more than 24 hours before the pain forced me to take it off. Ironically, since the frenum piercing goes through the most sensitive part of the penis, orgasm was easy to achieve since that area was exposed and easy to stimulate. Truthfully, I never tried to come. It hurt too much to wear the device. Access Denied made a belt for me and it was comfortable in terms of my penis, but the constriction of the steel belt around my waist was very restrictive. I also tested one of the very first CB2000’s. It was handmade and crude by today’s standards. It was the first comfortable device I had tried. What I learned over the years was that comfort trumps security, ease of cleaning, and everything else. If it was too uncomfortable to wear, it was very unlikely I would even consider keeping it on for long.

I never considered wearing a device full time until fall of 2013 when I discovered new, inexpensive Chinese devices (most were less than $50 USD). I couldn’t resist resurrecting my old interest in trying chastity devices, so I ordered some. The fit was far from perfect, but most were actually comfortable to wear. One seemed to be a reasonable fit. I got turned on thinking about wearing it. So, early in January 2014 I asked Mrs. Lion if she would lock me up. To my delight, she agreed.

I discovered that full time wear (more than a day or two) was less comfortable than I imagined. The problems were that the too-large device wouldn’t let me pee in a straight line and the base ring irritated me. But, it wasn’t all that bad. In February I ordered a Mature Metal Jail Bird custom device. That turned out to be completely comfortable to wear. The cage seemed a bit long, but peeing wasn’t all that difficult and the cage did its job. I ordered a security screw instead of a padlock. The screw was probably less secure, but it didn’t rattle against the cage like a lock, and the cage was firmly held to the base ring. There is a little play with a padlock.

It never occurred to me to try to escape. Why would I? This is something I wanted. Now, as I think back, I realize how pointless the idea of strong security is to me. Other guys are truly turned on by the idea that they can’t escape. Unless locked to a penis piercing (usually a Prince Albert), any cage with a base ring can be escaped without a key. With the piercing locked to the cage, slipping out is impossible unless the ring can be removed. So far I haven’t come across anyone (writing where I can read) who has even attempted to escape. The point of enforced chastity isn’t an inescapable penis prison; it’s submission to the keyholder who has complete control over sexual pleasure.

Clearly I am not alone in realizing that a chastity device that is impossible to escape is essentially irrelevant. In my case, the cage is there as a symbol of my submission as well as a practical barrier to any “accidents”. It also turns me on. All this is why I know that a chastity device must be acceptably comfortable, even at the sacrifice of security. What constitutes “acceptably comfortable” is for each caged male to decide.

All this came to mind when I was lying in the dark unable to sleep. I couldn’t feel my cage. I reached down and touched the bars. It was there, of course, locked into its place in the world, protecting my penis from arousal and orgasm. I realized that I don’t have to feel its presence for it to work. I don’t have to understand that I can’t escape for it to be effective.

Lying there in the dark, I considered what it is that keeps this kink alive for me. Much of the time, wearing the cage is inconvenient. After all this time the novelty has worn off; but not the arousal of being locked into it. The power exchange that the cage symbolizes has changed our lives. It isn’t the sexual fetish. It’s the total sexual dependency that I have on my lioness. She feels my vulnerability and curates my sexual pleasure that she now owns. It’s about focus and consistency. The cage provides enforced consistency and focus on us both. We need that. Sleepless, I realized that we won’t take the risk of removing the cage. Like our wedding rings, it transcends the realm of sexual hardware and has become a symbol of new devotion.

By:
In: Chastity Hardware Security, Keyholder, Lion's Journal

I know that getting a lion-proof lock box may sound like a silly, needless precaution. It’s completely true that I have no intention of ever removing my cage without permission. Mrs. Lion thinks I am silly to want the increased security. I do understand that even without the key, I can pull out of the Jail Bird. It isn’t easy to do and will hurt if I try. It’s also true that I carry an emergency key that I could access anytime I want. But that’s not the point.  Well, at least its not my point.

Enforced chastity (emphasis mine) means that my ability to have any kind of sex is prevented physically. My abstinence in no way depends on my desire to be chaste. I wear a device that prevents me from engaging in any sexual activity involving my penis. There are times when I am not locked into it. Those times are supervised by my lioness. Is this security bulletproof? No, of course not. I have opportunities when unlocked to go into the bathroom and spill my seed. I don’t, of course. For one thing, Mrs. Lion will find out when she teases me. My interest will be noticeably lower.

The point to me, at least, is that any cheating will most likely be discovered. To assure that I will be caught, both keys to my cage are out of my direct control. Mrs. Lion’s key is now in a locked box that requires a combination only she knows. There is an emergency key for the lockbox. It is kept in another box with a tamper-evident seal. So, while I may find the emergency key, she will know if I open the box to use it. Similarly, my emergency key is in a little container on my key ring. It too has a tamper-evident seal that will immediately reveal if the container was opened.

Security to me isn’t about physically making it impossible to get my penis out of its cage. I recognize that is nearly impossible. What I want is to assure that if for some reason I decide to sneak out, I will be caught. I don’t seriously expect to ever try to let my cock out on an unauthorized adventure. But for me, knowing that there is no practical way I can get out without my lioness finding out is the ultimate enforced chastity security.

I like knowing that there are no loopholes. Even if I get terminally horny and just have to rub one out, I know that if I do that, there is no doubt my sin will be discovered. It’s that old “won’t” and “can’t” thing again.  I won’t try to sneak an orgasm, but that isn’t enough for me. I like knowing that I can’t do it without discovery. I have no idea what Mrs. Lion would do if I ever had an unauthorized penis play, but I am very sure it would be incredibly painful.

My desire to make it nearly impossible for me to remove my cage without permission is how I envision enforced chastity. It’s my kink, after all. I’m grateful to Mrs. Lion for supporting it and me.

By:
In: Chastity device fitting, Chastity Hardware Security, Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity
picture of burger sign and washington state fair
Don’t you just love fair signs? This one caught our interest and we had half-pound burgers. They were great! We also bought some freshly-made fudge. Yum!

This is my last day of unemployment. I start my new job tomorrow morning. I am feeling some “first day of school” nerves. It’s been a long while since I have been working. I hope I will live up to the expectations my new employer has of me. Yup, first day jitters. Friday night, Mrs. Lion played with me and then left me wild. She didn’t say why she chose to do it. I’m enjoying the freedom. Of course it doesn’t change anything, but it is so nice to pee standing up. We went to the Washington State Fair yesterday. It was a lot of fun to wander around. We also ate our share of fair food. This splurge cheered us up a lot. We have always enjoyed fairs. We enjoy walking around hand-in-hand seeing the sights.

There was a note in my mailbox from a reader with a question I often get:

I wear a Jail Bird from Mature Metal. I need definitely a smaller
one. The cage must be of smaller diameter and shorter. I wear a 1 5/8″ base
ring. But this allows me not only to pull 1 but 3 fingers below the ring. So
I am somehow convinced that a smaller one would do too. I would like to
order once size smaller (1 1/2″). Now the problem. When I wear such a ring
for several days it begins to hurt terribly because of nightly erections. If
the smaller cage wouldn’t allow my little self to become fully erect I could
easily wear this smaller ring. What do you recommend for me?

This is the same situation I found myself in several months ago. I noticed (don’t ask why I was fiddling around down there) that I could get at least two fingers in if I pushed in between my base ring and the top of my penis. So, I ordered new base rings, each one 1/16th inch smaller than the last. I discovered that I had painful chafing even reducing the ring size by just 1/16th inch. What that taught me was that the original 1 3/4″ base ring was the smallest I can wear without pain. Since I am not really worried about escaping, it was a no-brainer to go back to the original size. The writer also wants a smaller cage. He thinks that the smaller size will prevent erections and therefore make it easier to wear the smaller base ring.

That’s just not the case. Each time I try to get an erection, the tissue under and behind the base ring also floods with blood. The cage size has no effect on it. There is no relationship between base ring diameter and cage size. My page, Getting a Good Fit, discusses how to estimate correct ring and cage sizing. I’ve learned that, at least in my case, the cage should be about 1/4″ smaller in diameter than the flaccid diameter of my penis. The length should be at least 1/2″ shorter. I know that sounds extreme, and when you first get the cage it will be uncomfortable, but it ends up being completely comfortable and fits like a glove. You want the sides and head of your penis to always be in contact with the cage.

Apparently all of us focus on the chastity device when we first start out. Some guys obsess about getting the most secure device in the world. Then, there is the getting-used-to-the-device period. During this time most of us do a lot of online reading trying to learn as much as we can about enforced chastity. If you stick with it, you eventually get to the point that the device is no longer the focus. Your attention shifts from hardware to abstinence and the way it affects you. The device isn’t required for you to remain chaste. The device and escape become irrelevant. After all, I learned that no matter how horny I am, I won’t do anything myself. Only Mrs. Lion can provide me with relief. If you are new to enforced chastity, keep in mind that the device isn’t what keeps you chaste; it’s your decision to surrender your sexual control to your keyholder. With that in mind, it’s obvious your best choice is the most comfortable device you can find. If you’re like me, it will be locked on your penis for a long, long time.

 

By:
In: Chastity hardware, Chastity Hardware Security, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Yesterday, in her post, Mrs. Lion sent the unmistakable message that today I will be teased until I am a “lion puddle” and then allowed an orgasm. As she so aptly pointed out, “Sex is free.” So our current financial distress won’t get in the way. We also have a large collection of toys and enough lube to supply an elephant orgy. So, today promises to be very interesting. I’m looking forward to it. Yesterday I had another job interview. This was the final round for an interesting, well-paid position. I was told that I nailed it by the hiring manager. That is a very good sign. Next week promises to signal the start of a less stressful life for the Lions. Both tomorrow’s orgasm and next week’s likely good news have cheered me up. For the first time in months, I don’t have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, it’s not entirely gone, but it has receded quite a bit. Also in her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion committed to increased sexual activity with me. I am hoping this will begin awakening her libido. No pressure, Mrs. Lion! Really.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that Mrs. Lion and I communicate via this blog. You generally learn of her plans for me at the same time I do. When we first started the blog, we would almost always get at least one comment a day telling Mrs. Lion how to manage me. She was giving me too many orgasms, she should make me wear panties, I should do all the housework, etc. We don’t get many of them any more. I’ve also noticed that the chastity forums and blogs aren’t discussing “security” much either. I’m very happy that this is on the decline.

The idea that a chastity device has to be inescapable has probably stopped more men from practicing enforced chastity than anything else. I’ve written a lot about how modern devices that lock to a cock ring are almost by definition possible to escape. To make escape more difficult there are limited options. The most common one is to make the cock and ball ring smaller in diameter. A smaller base ring leaves less room to squeeze a soft penis out. Unfortunately, a smaller base ring will cut circulation to the scrotum, penis and balls as well as being irritating and painful to wear. Another popular idea is to put spikes in the cage that will snag the penis if an attempt is made to pull it out of the cage. Unfortunately, those spikes will also painfully dig into the penis if it starts to get hard. So, the more important inescapable security is, the less likely it will be possible to wear the device for much time.

Enforced chastity doesn’t require a device at all. Surrendering sexual control is all that is required. The device is supposed to prevent “cheating” and provide reassurance to the keyholder he is not ejaculating without permission. Whether or not I am in a device, I will not ejaculate unless Mrs. Lion wants it. I’m married whether or not I wear my wedding ring. I am under her orgasm control whether in a device or not. If you are just starting out with enforced chastity, the most important concept to learn is that it is you, not the chastity device that keeps you from unauthorized orgasms.