Domestic discipline (Page 3)

Saturday afternoon, we tried our new lion tie-down system. It consists of a safety harness with side D-rings (Amazon link here). It costs $30 and is worth every penny. As you can see in the picture, I wear the belt on the spanking bench. Mrs. Lion uses a cinch strap passed under the bench and through the two D-rings (4ft strap, link here). It’s quick and easy for both of us. Once she pulls the strap tight, I’m glued to the spanking bench. She can hit as long and hard as she wants and my butt stays in place.

We haven’t found the strap we used in the past. The problem with that was it would work its way down to my butt. Mrs. Lion would have to stop and tighten it mid-spanking. This new system solves that problem for less than $50.

It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but the spanking makes me horny. When we discussed spanking on Sunday morning, I got a full erection. Mrs. Lion played with it and sucked it a little just to tease me. This is the first “natural” erection I’ve had in a long time.

We agreed that rules and spankings must be restored in the lions’ den. I know that a lot of guys like to believe that domestic discipline is a serious exercise of wifely authority. I agree that it is. Just because it also charges my sexual battery doesn’t minimize the value of Mrs. Lion’s ability to punish me. Once we get in DD mode, she is very serious about making her point.

Even if a “Just Because” spanking feels the same as a punishment spanking, I know the difference. So does Mrs. Lion. My sexual attachment to being spanked provides the bait that draws me to accept painful punishment for misdeeds. The fact that thinking and talking about spanking turns me on, doesn’t make the pain any less when I’m spanked. Mrs. Lion knows I am very unhappy when she punishes me. Spanking is a tool that lets her make her point. I can’t ignore her if she is unhappy with my behavior. She has a powerful tool to guarantee that she gets my full attention.

It’s nice when something helps us both.

leather, wood, or rubber?

Different paddle material produces different results on my poor bottom. Wood hurts the most during a spanking and has the best chance of producing deeper pain that will hurt for days when I sit. That’s traditionally been Mrs. Lion’s first choice for spanking me. Aside from being the most effective, it’s also guaranteed to start me bleeding. The wood paddles don’t cut me. They just make the skin swell and form little blisters. When the swelling gets particularly big, some skin splits and small amounts of blood come out. The bleeding stops within a very short time after Mrs. Lion finishes. The blood is messy and usually requires Mrs. Lion to pause and wipe it up.

Leather, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to produce the same amount of swelling. I don’t usually bleed when Mrs. Lion uses her leather paddles. She has a variety in different weights. They all hurt. A leather-paddle spanking will make me yelp and scream. So far, I haven’t felt a leather spanking the next day. While the wood paddle produces bruises and red, swollen areas, the leather tends to turn my bottom an even, deep red color. Mrs. Lion likes this.

We have a few different rubber spanking tools. Three are made from conveyor belt material. They are heavy and very painful. Sometimes I bleed when Mrs. Lion uses one of them. They hurt almost as much as wood. We have a solid rubber paddle that is particularly nasty. It can easily bruise me. Mrs. Lion usually misplaces it. No, I don’t hide it.

Most recently, Mrs. Lion has been using leather. It’s effective and makes its point without blood. She’s said that once my bottom gets more used to spanking, she will go back to wood. Poor me!

Mrs. Lion finally spanked me. We got off to a poor start. The strap she found was a short one bought for a different purpose. She decided to go ahead without restraining me. I wasn’t too cooperative. She was right. My butt was virgin again, and I couldn’t hold still on the spanking bench. I wasn’t too bad at first. She used a leather paddle that hurt but was manageable. When she switched to wood, I nearly levitated.

Well before the ten-minute timer went off, she quit. She told me that I needed to get back in condition. I know what that means: more spankings, a lot more. In the spirit of cooperation, this morning, I suggested we try the restraint belt I got. She agreed. I’m pretty sure that the try will include a spanking once I’m strapped down to the spanking bench.

I asked Mrs. Lion if she liked to spank me. She said that she doesn’t know. OK, fair enough. She doesn’t mind paddling me. On many occasions, she’s commented on the quality of her work. She likes seeing my bottom turn deep red. She likes feeling the skin turn leathery. She also likes to learn that it hurts to sit for days after she spanked me.

This seems to fit the way she views our disciplinary activity in general. She likes catching me breaking a rule. I think she likes seeing my obvious conflict between wanting a spanking and hating it once she begins beating me. I also think she likes how regular spanking seems to activate my interest in sex.

There’s also the matter of control. Mrs. Lion doesn’t enjoy being in charge. Our marriage is a partnership. We make most decisions together. She likes me to manage our finances and make many decisions for us. She doesn’t want me to be submissive. It’s a good thing; I’m not.

That doesn’t disqualify her from taking charge of our domestic discipline. No rule says a disciplinary wife has to be the dictator in charge of the household. Each couple has the freedom to define it how it works best for them.

In our family, Mrs. Lion has the right to make any rule she wants me to follow. She can assign chores and dictate behavioral changes. Anything she hasn’t specified remains part of our original partnership. She can punish me at will and in any way she wants. So far, she has made very limited use of this power. Spanking remains her sole method of punishing me.

Her interest in using this power ebbs and flows. Life often intrudes, and Mrs. Lion puts her disciplinary role on the back burner. It’s difficult for her to prioritize domestic discipline. Spanking was never part of her life before me. Exercising authority is alien to her. I’m grateful that she’s worked so hard to be my disciplinary wife. I hope we can get back to DD very soon.

Everything has been on hold for the last few days. We both have/had a bug that makes us need to lie down. I spent all day Wednesday in bed watching PBS documentaries. Well, mostly watched; I snoozed a lot too. Mrs. Lion managed to put in a full day’s work and then went to bed. We got take-out Chinese food (bad) for dinner.

As you probably guessed, there was no spanking or sex. It was the last thing on our minds. That’s not entirely true. Mrs. Lion did agree that it’s been a while since my last orgasm. She also made it clear that the orgasm is second on her list. A spanking is her first order of business. I agree, in case you want to know.

As a writer, I think I can describe every experience. I’ve written a lot about my complex and often conflicting feelings about being spanked. It’s hard to admit that so much of my life connects to having my bottom paddled. Like it or not, it does. Mrs. Lion has her own difficulty articulating the role spanking plays in her life. The easy part is that she spanks me because I need it. That’s the same reason she gives me oral sex. She wants me to be happy.

For a long time, I figured that was the only reason she spanked me. I knew that enforcing rules was mostly a game she liked to play. The fact that playing effected positive changes in me was a nice extra. I like the idea of domestic discipline. It’s a subject that I’ve spent a lot of time writing about. In the harsh glare of daylight, I have to admit that there really aren’t that many issues in our marriage that would benefit from disciplinary spankings. Mrs. Lion would have divorced me years ago if there were.

I think that Mrs. Lion likes domestic discipline, too. She enjoys catching me breaking a rule. She gets a glint in her eyes when she informs me that I forgot to do a chore. It doesn’t really upset her if I forget to set up the coffee pot or remind her of punishment day. I know that. She likes the game. You know what? It doesn’t matter. The result is the same. I get what I need, and she has fun.

When it comes to the actual activity of beating me, things get more complex. For a long time, she genuinely disliked spanking me. Over several years, she said that she stopped having bad feelings about beating me. She said that it became just another thing she did for me. There were no emotions attached. Vacuum the bedroom, beat the lion, all the same thing.

If that’s how she feels, I’m fine with that. I think that there is more under the surface. Mrs. Lion doesn’t like to drill down into her feelings. I could be completely wrong, but I think spanking me is more important to her than just another way to keep me happy. I think it has value for her as well.

Of course, she’s the only one who can know that. It would be nice if she found some pleasure in it, too. If not, we are certainly OK. I’m getting what I need, and Mrs. Lion gets some extra cardio exercise.

turning the tables

One of the more amusing aspects of spanking is how it self-cures one of a submissive’s most annoying habits: more. One constant in BDSM that leaks into disciplinary relationships is the “greedy bottom.” Nothing is ever enough. I have to admit that I’ve suffered from this, too.

If the primary activity is spanking, no matter how pain resistant the bottom’s butt, it’s fairly easy to push him to his limit. If a request for “more” is greeted by a serious increase in spanking force, speed, and length, the bottom (me), will be sorry he wanted to step things up.

In most BDSM activities, the top has to work long and hard to provide stimulation for the bottom. More bondage, more CBT, more…well, you get it, means more work for the top. More spanking does require additional effort from the top, but she has considerable leverage in terms of the amount of suffering she can deliver without breaking a sweat.

Most spanking toys are designed to make it easy for the top to have a strong effect on her bottom. As Mrs. Lion has learned, changing to a heavier wood paddle, or just swinging a bit harder and faster, will make me yelp and scream. I used to ask for more serious spankings. I rarely do that now. Why? Because Mrs. Lion is happy to oblige and I’m always very sorry when she does.