By:
In: Domestic discipline, Spanking
wife spanking husband

January 1 was punishment day. Mrs. Lion didn’t spank me, and I was relieved. Three spankings a week aren’t easy to take. However, I’m not going to argue if that is her choice. We need to get back on track, and if it takes three spankings a week to do it, I’m certainly willing. I wonder if I should remind her. I let her know it was punishment day, but I hadn’t prompted her for a spanking. [Mrs. Lion — I remembered. I was just lazy.] That brings up a second question. Should she make up the missed spanking today (January 2)?

We watched the Washington-Texas semi-finals last night. It was a true nail-biter. Since we live near Seattle, we were cheering for the Huskies. One good thing about living in the Pacific time zone is that the game ended at about 9:30 PM here. In the East, it was after midnight. We had time to stream a couple of “Rookie” reruns before going to sleep. Exciting life.

The question about whether or not to remind Mrs. Lion to do painful things to me keeps coming up. Part of me believes that I owe her reminders to spank me. Another part, probably the little kid in me, is happy to escape. Mrs.Lion goes both ways on this, too. I also worry that if I remind her, she will feel that I’m nagging her for attention. After all, shouldn’t she remember ?

It’s true that I’ve bought most of the spanking implements she uses. That’s how it generally works; the spanked partner ends up providing the painful means of their destiny. Yes, I know. I want to be spanked. Mrs. Lion’s interest in it is limited to providing me with something I need. I don’t think that’s going to change. The best I can hope for is that she likes the results her spankings produce. We’ve both noticed the educational benefits of giving me a sore bottom. That’s indisputable. It’s also embarrassing to me. I think the humiliation is a helpful component of my punishments.

The scientist in me likes to find the root causes of things. My analysis of domestic discipline generally upsets a lot of guys who would rather live in the fantasy and disregard the underlying facts. The first hard-to-swallow fact is that male domestic discipline is initiated by the man who wants to be spanked. I haven’t run across any couples where the wife initiated the practice. This makes sense since spanking has to be consensual if it isn’t going to be spousal abuse. Men in domestic discipline want it.

It’s harder to generalize about the women. Obviously, all of them are willing to spank their husbands. Some find it arousing to beat their men. I suspect that most are like Mrs. Lion; they spank their husbands because they were asked to do it. Most, discover the educational value of DD and make use of it. I think they also know that their men need their bottoms beaten on a regular basis. Like many kinky practices, domestic discipline is hard to sustain over time.

Another bit of strong evidence that domestic discipline is more than punishment comes from the almost universal desire to have others aware that the men are spanked by their wives. A great deal of blogging has been done about wishing that relatives and friends become aware of the spanking. A great deal of spanking fantasy centers on witnessed beatings. It seems to me that this is a desire for sexual humiliation.

There’s nothing wrong with any of this. I think that a woman would be far more likely to enter into a DD situation if she understood the underlying reason for the request. I strongly doubt that most women would like the idea of having to correct their husband’s behavioral issues with a paddle or strap. That represents a significant power exchange, almost putting the wife into the role of disciplinary mother. On the other hand, if she understands that there is a deep-seated need for spanking and that satisfying that need will help her man, she would probably be more inclined to say yes.

The fact that spanking does affect some behavioral changes is icing on the cake. If we want to be completely honest, the most important aspect of DD is that we get spanked on a regular basis. Yes, we like the power exchange too. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be writing about DD, would we?

The other obvious-but-often-overlooked fact is that most men don’t want to be reminded that they want to be spanked. They would rather live in the fantasy that they need spanking to improve their behavior. It’s a harmless role play. I don’t like it when Mrs. Lion reminds me that I’m being spanked because I want it. I would much rather believe I need the discipline.

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By:
In: Domestic discipline, Male Chastity

Mrs. Lion read the post I wrote yesterday, “Sex For Us May Have Nothing To Do With Orgasms.” She said, “I wouldn’t make you have sex if you didn’t want it.” Good point. Case closed. In my warped mind, it seemed that the orgasm would be fun regardless of sexual interest. I was being insensitive and selfish.

The simple fact is that I’m very lucky Mrs. Lion is willing to get me off. I’m sure she would be happier if I stopped wanting release. Maybe that’s the considerate thing to do. She does so much for me, and I’m sure that if we took sex off the table, it might make her life easier.

Male chastity and domestic discipline were both my ideas. It’s work for her to keep them alive. Looking back over the last ten years of our posts, much of my time was spent justifying my need for them. I visited other DD and male chastity blogs to see how other guys talked about their lives. Most of them dwell on discussions about justifying their need for the practices.

It may be that this focus repels female readers. Maybe if we took a more realistic approach to what we want, we would get a better response from women. I don’t want to generalize my thoughts to all guys. I want to talk about a realistic view of my situation.

Male chastity and domestic discipline are games I asked Mrs. Lion to play. Male chastity is a very hot sex game. I find it very arousing to know that I can’t ejaculate whenever I want. It’s super hot to me that my wife has total control of when or if I can orgasm. It is fun for me. Wearing a male chastity device is a huge turn-on because it is a 24/7 reminder that my penis is controlled by Mrs. Lion. There was nothing in it for her beyond the enjoyment of giving me so much pleasure.

Domestic discipline is a subject that evokes strong feelings in many guys who practice it. They vociferously assert that their disciplinary marriages benefit greatly because their wives can spank them. That may be true for them, but not for us. It’s true that I’m punished for breaking the rules that Mrs. Lion makes. These rules pertain to things I should do, like setting up the coffee pot for the next morning or sending a daily email.

Yes, those are things that make our lives run more smoothly, but failing to do them doesn’t threaten my safety or Mrs. Lion’s happiness. No one in his right mind would agree that a ten-minute beating with a wooden paddle is the appropriate response for failing to set up the coffee pot. I’ve yet to learn of a wife who proposed spanking her husband as a way to rescue her marriage.

There’s no disputing that domestic discipline has helped me change. The changes are small with little emotional value. That doesn’t mean they’re unimportant. I recognize that by doing my chores and thinking twice before saying something annoying, I’m helping our relationship. Punishing me has helped me make those changes. Mrs. Lion could have helped me change in less drastic ways.

The obvious truth is that I have a sexual connection to being spanked. No, I don’t get aroused when my bottom is paddled. I hate it when Mrs. Lion spanks me. After the pain subsides, I find it arousing to think and write about being spanked. I don’t know why I feel this way; I just do. Domestic discipline is a useful framework for this need and the “catch and spank” game we play.

I suspect that many people believe that calling something a game trivializes it. I disagree. War is a game. It has winners and losers. Games can be deadly serious. Games can also be useful. Male chastity trained me not to masturbate. The last time I jerked off was in 2013. Mrs. Lion’s strict orgasm control conditioned me away from self-gratification. It worked. And it is a game.

The same is true of domestic discipline. It’s a game with consequences for me. That’s what I wanted. I asked Mrs. Lion to make and enforce rules. She agreed. It was my idea and she agreed to play. It turns out that she likes catching me breaking a rule. It’s a sort of cat-and-mouse game for her. She gets nothing out of spanking me. To her, it’s just something that goes with the game. Over time she’s learned to spank me without feeling guilty for hurting me.

The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion benefits from all the work these games create simply because playing them makes me happier. She loves me and wants me to be happy. I’m incredibly lucky she feels this way.

By:
In: Domestic discipline

We cooked our beef shoulder roast sous vide for ten hours overnight on Saturday. Mrs. Lion put it in the refrigerator until an hour before dinner on Sunday. I’m sorry to report that the meat was still very tough. We are going to return it to the sous vide today (Monday)  for several hours and try again. This time we’ll increase the temperature from 140o F to 145o F. The meat was pale pink at 140o.

We are still planning on sous vide turkey for Thanksgiving. The instructions for prepping the turkey seem complex but are really fairly simple. In past years, we roasted a turkey breast and then removed it whole from the bone before slicing. It’s easy surgery. The trick is to get the timing right. There are two approaches. The first is to put a probe thermometer in the meat and monitor the temperature. The second is to use a chart created by several sous vide experts. I haven’t decided which approach would be best for us. We may just put the turkey in (145o F yields the same texture as a perfectly roasted bird) for six or seven hours. That should be more than enough. That’s the good thing about sous vide; extra cook time won’t affect the food.

behavioral health coverage

My health insurance coverage open enrollment window is now open. I just got an email about my behavioral health coverage. That got me thinking. I already have in-house behavioral health coverage: Mrs. Lion’s program. As you probably know, her program is simple, inexpensive, and effective.

My policy offers comprehensive behavioral improvement benefits. I receive regular assessments during which behavioral standards are reviewed. Corrections are provided at no extra cost. Close personal attention is a feature of this coverage. One important feature is that this policy includes unlimited corrections at no extra cost.

Preexisting conditions are given attention at no extra cost. Mrs. Lion’s behavioral health policy is comprehensive with no options available. Subscribers are advised to take care when sitting after a correction.

By:
In: Domestic discipline, Spanking

Most of life is experienced in the past tense. I get aroused remembering things I’ve experienced, seen, or read. This is particularly true of spanking. Anticipating or remembering a spanking is a turn-on. Experiencing it isn’t. We seem to be programmed to be fueled by the past.

This makes sense. Survival can hinge on remembered experience. Living in the present can be extremely dangerous. For example, we avoid getting too close to the edge of a deep hole because we “know” (remember what we’ve seen or read) that falling would threaten our survival. Similarly, we (males, anyway) go to ridiculous extremes to get women to have sex with us.  Why? Because we remember how good it feels to fuck.

Obvious. Right? Well, not so much. When Mrs. Lion spanks me, she straps me to the spanking bench and spends at least ten minutes paddling my bottom. It hurts, and I want her to stop. Yet, when I remember being spanked, I get sexually aroused. I didn’t get aroused at all when she spanked me. I hated the experience. If I avoid getting too close to the edge of a cliff because I remember that it is a bad experience for people I’ve seen on TV or read about, why do I get turned on thinking about being hurt by Mrs. Lion’s paddles?

It’s even weirder than that. Even though thinking about being spanked turns me on, I avoid the behaviors that earned me the punishment. I actively avoid being punished. I want sex because remembering how it feels to get off is compelling.  Like most people, I’ve spent my life wanting sex. I get the same feeling of arousal thinking about being spanked, yet I work hard to avoid a spanking.

It doesn’t stop there. If Mrs. Lion lets me know that I’m going to be spanked, I get aroused. Wait! Haven’t I been trying to avoid a spanking? Anticipating a spanking turns me on. Being spanked is horrible.

Get out the straight jacket.

One explanation of this apparent contradiction is that while I hate being spanked, I like that Mrs. Lion can spank me whenever she wants. It’s a strong example of her control, and being submissive that way turns me on.

Could that be it? Is that why I get turned on at the memory or prospect of a painful spanking?

Makes sense. It fits with my general sexual outlook. Be careful. Wanting to be sexually submissive isn’t the same as being passive. I’m generally anything but passive. In most things, I’m a dominant personality. But sexually…

I’m not that unusual. In study after study, more than eighty percent of both men and women have spanking fantasies. Virtually all of them are about being spanked. They are sexual fantasies. The people who have these fantasies don’t identify themselves as sexually submissive. I don’t consider myself sexually submissive. I’m a switch. I’m happy being on the other side of the paddle too.

no wonder shrinks are crazy

We could dissect the desire to be spanked a little more. Exposing my bare bottom is obviously sexual. So is having a woman pay close attention to that naked part of me. She’s very close to my naughty bits. Couple that with childhood fantasies/experiences with bare-bottom spankings and throw in a little parental lust for good measure, and it s easy to see why so many people fantasize about being spanked.

Many people who want to be spanked don’t want to believe there is a sexual reason for their desire. They have other, perfectly good reasons why they want to be paddled or strapped. Domestic discipline, for example, rationalizes adult spanking around the concept that punishment spankings will cure behavioral problems.

As I’ve learned, spanking, when consistently applied, will change my behavior. The behavioral changes I’ve made are rather trivial. I don’t often get food on my shirt. When I do, I get spanked. I also usually remember to set up the coffee pot for the next morning. Same reason. I was very forgetful and messy before Mrs.Lion started punishing me.

From what I’ve read, domestic discipline isn’t very successful at curing more serious problems like drinking too much or gambling. If consistently applied, it will help with diet and exercise. Reports are mixed on its value in changing arrogance and rudeness.

There may be some benefits for the spanker in domestic discipline. Even if the behavior isn’t effectively extinguished, punishing the offense can produce a feeling of retribution. If I’m thoughtless and annoy Mrs. Lion, she can feel that she let me know how badly my behavior affected her. There’s value in that.

Some men can’t admit that there is a deep, sexual basis for their desire to be spanked. They get offended if it’s suggested that sex has any part in their desire to be spanked. However, they are very specific about how they are willing to be punished. They say they want their wives to discipline them to help correct behavioral problems. I believe that’s true. But, they specify how their wives can do it. You guessed it. Spanking.

They don’t want to be put to bed early or given writing assignments. They don’t want the car keys taken away. They want their bare bottoms roasted. More than punishment is behind their request for domestic discipline.

I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with that. If a deep-seated sexual need makes us accept punishment, it’s helping the disciplinary process we want. I think that most of our wives understand the sexual connection we make with spanking. It may be why they agreed to spank us in the first place.

The bottom line is that we are complex creatures. We can have multiple conflicting motivations for what we do. Spanking, particularly disciplinary spanking, is a prime example of this.