Disciplinary Wives Handbook
Chapter 3: Spanking Your Husband

Spanking is the most popular domestic discipline punishment. It is easy to learn and perform. It has a strong effect on your husband. No matter how big and strong he is, spanking will effectively send a message to him. It’s safe. No serious injury will be inflicted. We never want to do anything that will injure him. It will be very painful and remind him that he isn’t in control.

All spankings are administered on a bare bottom. Even a thin pair of panties reduces the effectiveness of your efforts. Also, a bare bottom is a bit more humiliating. You can pull his pants and underpants down or have him strip for his punishment.

Traditional spankings are usually administered over the lap of the spanker. This can be with you sitting on a chair and your husband draped across your lap. If he (or you) is too big for this, try sitting on the bed with him lying across your lap. Lion is generally spanked with him lying over the edge of the bed with his legs dangling to the floor. Mrs. Lion either stands or sits next to him. You can have him lie over a pile of pillows. This is effective in stretching his skin and making it easier to reach every inch.

Remember to restrict your attention to the lower half of his butt and halfway down the back of his thighs. These areas are well padded and can handle your hardest hits. Never hit higher on his bottom. Avoid his tailbone. You can injure him if you hit it.

hands off!

You can’t do an effective disciplinary spanking with your hand. Your hand will hurt more than his bottom if you try. While a lot of people think of a hairbrush as a spanking tool, it is too light to effectively punish a grown man. A wood paddle is ideal to do the job. You only need one. Chances are that your husband will “gift” you paddles. You could end up with a collection. Lion has accumulated more than a dozen.

This is our spoon-shaped paddle. It is the most effective one in the lioness collection.

A great starting tool is a spoon-shaped paddle. We found one on Etsy (link). It’s a Chechen wood paddle. It costs about $40 and well worth the price. It has a long handle that gives you extra leverage. It may be too long for over-the-knee spanking. For that, a shorter paddle might be in order. Here is one that will surely get his attention (Link). Both paddles are heavy. The heavier the material, the more effective your efforts. (We don’t get a commission or receive free merchandise. This supplier has sold us the paddles you see across Lion’s bottom.

one cheek sized paddle
This is the shorter paddle. It has a wider face than the spoon-shaped model, so it will require more force. The holes are supposed to cut down on air resistance, but they don’t. Lion says he can feel the holes.

It’s worthwhile to invest in one good paddle. It is safer than improvised tools and will be easier for you to control.

how to beat your husband

It took a long time to learn the most effective way to spank Lion. Because they had enjoyed BDSM play spankings, Mrs. Lion worried that a punishment spanking would feel the same.

A play spanking hurts and can be as severe as a punishment, but it is administered with a slow buildup to allow Lion’s body to develop the endorphins (brain hormones) that convert the pain to pleasure.

This is the last thing that should happen in a punishment spanking. The original reasoning was to start the spanking with very hard swats and keep them going. Unfortunately, Lion would roll out of the way after only a few of those hard swats.

It wasn’t that he was trying to get out of punishment. His body wouldn’t allow him to stay there. The idea was for him to assume the spanking position and stay there until his punishment was done.

After consulting with experienced spankers and doing a lot of experimenting, a technique was developed that made it possible for him to stay in place while delivering a most unpleasant spanking.

how to do it

He needs a chance to let his body accept that he is being spanked. Mrs. Lion starts out with 10 rather mild swats to a spot on the lower part of his left cheek. She directs all of them to the same spot.

She waits for about ten seconds and repeats on the right cheek. She hits just hard enough to make Lion squirm a little and perhaps yelp softly. She doesn’t want him to like it.

She waits 10 more seconds and goes back to left cheek. 10 more swats slightly to one side of the first group. These swats are harder. If he doesn’t react strongly, she hits harder on the right side. This time she only pauses 5 seconds between cheeks.

The spanking is continued with groups of 10 swats on the same spot, alternating between cheeks. As he grows more used to his punishment, the force is increased. The idea is for him to squirm, kick, complain, scream, and yelp while you are hitting him. This will require your swats to get harder and harder.

After a few groups of 10 on each cheek, you won’t have to pause at all between groups. Cover the entire bottom of his rear end. Pay special attention to the area where there is a crease between the bottom and upper thighs. That area should be the reddest.

You want his bottom to be an even, dark red with some areas of white. This will take about five minutes of work to produce. When you achieve this, it’s time to make the spanking memorable. Using the side of the paddle, hit once very hard in the center of his “sit spot” on one cheek. He will probably scream and start to roll away.

If he tries to roll away, repeat that hard hit on his upper thigh. That will remind him to behave. Wait a few seconds and repeat on the other cheek. Mrs. Lion repeats this pattern several times before she finishes.

He may well have tears in his eyes when you are done. This is less crying than a reaction to the stress. Lion tends to stay in position as he composes himself. He should thank you for spanking him. If he forgets, let him know he will get another spanking tomorrow.

possible issues

Lion often bleeds during his spankings. In the beginning, he bled quite a bit and Mrs. Lion stopped his spanking. There was no evidence of a cut. Apparently, the skin split. This is pretty common. During a spanking, wipe up the blood and put a small band-aid over the spot and continue his spanking. It isn’t a serious issue at all. After the spanking, be sure to clean the paddle well.

If he applies skin cream to his rear end after he showers each day, the skin will soften and bleeding will become less of a problem. Lion uses Eucerin Intensive Care Skin Lotion.

Over time his skin will toughen and he won’t bleed. The tougher skin may require harder swats, but you can do that.

It’s a good idea to regularly remind him that he has a safeword (we use “red”). Make sure he understands that the spanking stops immediately if he uses it. He has to tell you what’s wrong. Attend to the problem. Let him know that he still owes you a spanking which you will deliver at a later time.

It is very unlikely he will safeword. Most disciplinary wives are too gentle in their spankings. It took Mrs. Lion a long time to get bold enough to make Lion’s spankings memorable enough to deter him successfully.

how do I know when my spankings are memorable enough?

Obviously, it won’t help to ask him. You will know you are making your point when he doesn’t repeat an offense for a month or more after being punished. His behavior after his punishment is the best guide.

If he does repeat an offense, punish him again. Increase the severity of his spanking. Make a mental note of what you did. Make every succeeding spanking, whether for a repeat offense or not, the same severity as the one you administered for his repeat offense. This is how he teaches you how much he needs in order to learn. Over time, as he toughens and gets more used to being spanked, you will need to become more severe. This is normal.

SHould i get turned on by spanking him?

Many men and some women believe that administering a spanking should be sexually arousing or at least be fun. Most disciplinary wives don’t enjoy punishing their husbands. In fact, when they first start out, many feel terrible for hurting someone they love. Mrs. Lion felt that way. She continued because she knew is is what Lion wants.

Over time, she stopped feeling bad about hurting him. She doesn’t like beating him, but she doesn’t feel bad either. She treats it as something she does, much like a household chore. She isn’t sympathetic to Lion’s discomfort. She knows he brought it on himself.

Spanking your husband is part of being a disciplinary wife. It is a skill you develop as you learn to help your husband become a better man. As you perfect this skill, he benefits by becoming happier and more secure.

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