By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity
Woman spanking naked man
One consequence of being a bottom is that yours can become pink for breaking a rule.

While I have been active in the leather community for decades, it was generally as a top. My forays into bottoming were two or three hour play sessions. Non of that prepared me for my current situation. Now that I have been caged, I find myself as a full-time bottom. I’ve written about this before, but not so personally. In my fantasies my keyholder made rules for me to follow, spanked me if I didn’t do as I should, and generally acted as my erotic goddess. I knew full well that if I asked to embark on forced male chastity that it would never be like that.

The reality has been much more difficult than I imagined. First of all, Mrs. Lion had no real idea what forced chastity was about. You could argue that I had no idea either when we started. I had worn devices for a few days at a time, so I at least understood the mechanics. I had my fantasies and I had my years of experience as a top. So, I was ahead of the game in that sense. I did know how it should be played.

There is a lot of difference between knowing and doing. The hardest lesson for me so far is for me to stop telling Mrs. Lion what I want. This is commonly called topping from the bottom. It can range from the obvious, “I like it better when you spank me this way.” to  subtle requests for attention. I was saying, “I’m horny.” way more often than I should. After realizing that I may be topping from the bottom, I figured the best move was to stop asking at all. That way, at least, I wouldn’t be topping.

This phase lasted a week or so. I mentioned to Mrs. Lion that I was avoiding signalling that I was horny. Her response surprised me. She said, “Why?”

I told her that I thought it was a form of topping. She pointed out that just because I said I wanted sex didn’t mean she would give it to me. She left me with the impression that as long as I didn’t make a pest of myself, she liked hearing if my sexual temperature was rising. Lesson learned. Don’t assume you are a good boy just because you shut up.

If you’ve been reading here, you know that I have some practical knowledge about effective physical topping. At the same time I stopped giving my sexual weather report, I also stopped making suggestions. Again, I was reminded that just because I have a bright idea doesn’t mean that Mrs. Lion will adopt it. Some of my ideas are getting adopted. One of them: a remote controlled doggy shock collar was really intriguing.

I talked about it with Mrs.Lion. We discussed what she could do with it. Then the subject dropped. On Sunday she said that she had been thinking. She hates when I interrupt her. She thought that the shocks would be a good way to train me not to do it. I agreed and ordered a shock collar for us. The collar arrives today. Since I ordered it Sunday,  I’ve had some time to consider the folly of my suggestions. This training tool has the potential to actually change my behavior. It won’t be pleasant for me and it will require me to change as my keyholder wishes.

That is a sobering thought. It’s what brought me to write on this topic. It’s one thing to be a good boy and get a nice spanking when naughty. The spanking takes preparation and work on the part of my keyholder. The shock collar just requires a press of a button to correct me. No erotic undressing, no assuming the position, no lengthy discipline ritual; just Zap no matter where I am and what I am wearing. Discipline is instant and unpleasant. As I think about it, that is exactly what discipline should be.  That doesn’t mean that I am looking forward to this new form of lion control. Well, maybe I am. It is exciting to contemplate. I have a feeling that my next post on this subject might have a different tone. It may turn into one of those things I hate while they happen, but get hard thinking about it afterward.

By:
In: Femdom, Keyholder, Lion's Journal, Sex
Carved ginger root
Fresh ginger carved into an easily insertable shape. Figging is placing this fresh veggie where the sun don’t shine.

There is some interesting, safe sensation play that is guaranteed to get your male’s attention. One classic is figging. This is a most interesting new use for the ginger root.

To fig, you carve a nice thick piece of the root into a finger shape (see photo, right). Then you insert this into your caged male’s anus. Don’t use lube, just take your time.

Why do this? You’ll soon see. Once inserted, the root starts reacting with the moisture up there. As it does, it creates a warm, then a hot sensation. The heat will build for a while and then taper off. All the keyholder has to do is assure that the root remains inserted. He will do the rest himself.

Once the ginger root is in place, it is an ideal time to do some spanking. Since the burning sensation increases sharply if your male tightens his ass, he is faced with an interesting choice: tighten his ass and feel more ginger burn, or let it relax and get a bigger sting from the spanking. Ginger is a great side dish, it goes so well with spanking. This article has some excellent information about figging.

A second, more intense activity involves a sore muscle remedy. You can use BenGay, IcyHot, or any other warming cream. Use is the essence of simplicity. Just massage some into your male’s scrotum. He can stay safely caged. You may want to restrain him so he can’t run to the bathroom to wash it off.

Like the ginger root, the ointment will start off just feeling nice, but then the heat will build. Depending on how much you use, the heat will build to a high intensity. His scrotum may turn red. This is pretty serious sensation. It won’t do any lasting damage but will make an impression. If you want to get even more sensation, apply it to the perineum (the skin between the bottom of the scrotum and the anus). That is much more sensitive. Only apply to one area or the other. The human body can’t feel two stimuli at once, so one application will be wasted.

In my experience, figging is a great activity. Lioness has carved some thinner pieces of ginger and has warmed me up with them. I think a thicker piece might be more intense. I look forward to those sessions. By the way, once the sensation dies down, you can restore it by further peeling the root. More essential oils will be released.

For me, Ben Gay is a different matter. I hate it! While it is active (about 10 minutes) I am miserable. Then when it tapers off, it feels like such relief. Ironically, even though I hate this, the thought of having a hot ointment rubbed into my balls turns me on. Like a strong spanking, the BenGay is horrible while it is happening, but arouses me before and makes me feel very good remembering the session.

This concept of arousing anticipation, wonderful afterglow, and absolute misery while happening seems to be a fairly common set of reactions to sensation play. Unfortunately, the new keyholder reacts only to the misery and feels guilty for hurting her male. I don’t perceive it that way at all. I am turned on knowing my lioness can do this to me. I know I will hate it when she does, but that makes it even more arousing. I don’t want her to do this to me every day, but I really want her to do it.

Male sexuality can be bewildering. I can’t explain why I am the way I am. But I know that in my case, discipline, spanking, and other sensation play really turn me on. The key to understanding why it is so exciting for me is that my sexuality is not based on what is happening now, it is more complex than that. It is the vulnerability, surrender of power, and most important of all, my keyholder’s use of that power. I really haven’t surrendered unless the person I surrender to actually uses the control I have given her. I think that is why just being locked up isn’t enough. It’s also why it can be difficult to be a keyholder. Forced chastity is about power exchange. There is no exchange unless the power is used. The more it is used, the more complete the feeling of surrender.

 

By:
In: Femdom, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity
anal penetration
Pegging is anal penetration by the keyholder.

Strictly speaking, being a keyholder doesn’t require any activity beyond locking up your male and occasionally letting him out for hygiene and exercise. However, very few caged males would be happy with such a limited confinement. As a keyholder, your experience would also be rather one-dimensional if limited to the basics.  Last time we discussed tease and denial as an amusing part of forced male chastity. Today’s topic is quite different.

Tease and deny is just a small variation on an activity I’m sure you have done many times in the past. Pegging, however, may be new, even alien to you. What is this activity? It’s anal penetration of the male by his keyholder. Don’t stop reading. It turns out that this is an activity your male will end up loving.

Before we go any further, let’s get rid of some common concerns. A big one for many is that male anal penetration is homosexual. If a male likes it, he is a latent homosexual and if you teach him to enjoy it, you are making him queer.  The simple fact is that men and women both have lots of pleasure nerve endings in the anus. Enjoying activity there says nothing about sexual orientation. Stimulation there can become very erotic and fun for both men and women regardless of sexual orientation.  Another concern is that you  could hurt him by inserting something up there.  Actually there is no serious danger if you are sensible and take feedback from your male.

The biggest objection is that it is “dirty” back there. A lot of people hang on to things learned in early childhood; namely that the asshole is dirty and needs to be avoided. The fact is that with a little washing, the rear can be a very nice place to play.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the activity and the necessary tools. The first thing you need is a dildo. This can be a realistic imitation penis, or something more abstract. The best material is silicone. This stuff is dishwasher safe, can be boiled and won’t absorb anything. You can find lots of them here. What about size? The key measurement is diameter. Length isn’t important since you control depth of insertion. Over time (a month or so), you will actually need several sizes. A good starter size is about one inch in diameter. Most men can learn to accept that fairly quickly. After he is comfortable with that size, you can move up to 1 1/2 inch. That is a good size to stay with, but moving up further is good training for him in relaxing and letting you do as you wish.

Technically, pegging is done with the dildo in a strap-on harness. This device lets you wear the dildo as though it were your penis. Pegging is using your strapped on penis to fuck his anus. However, at first the harness is not really the best idea. You need to get him used to your penetration.  That is best done with him lying on his stomach and you holding the dildo in your hand. Take the beginner dildo and get it covered with lube. Also use your hand and lube his anus. You can’t use too much lube. Most of the discomfort he will feel will be due to insufficient lube.

Take the lubed dildo and slowly insert it in his anus. Take your time. Keep a steady pressure on it so it slowly goes in. If it hurts him and he wants you to stop, pause. Leave it where it is. If that is still too painful, slowly remove it, add more lube and begin again. It takes patience and time. The first session might only last five or ten minutes. Hopefully you will be able to get it all the way in. Hold it there. Don’t move in or out. Just let him get used to it. Hold it for ten minutes if he can accommodate it. Then very slowly remove it. Whatever you do, don’t abruptly end the session because of complaints. Be sympathetic but firm. Remove the dildo for a minute or two then start again. The key is to make him realize that this is going to happen and while you will let him rest a bit, the dildo will go in. After you have it inserted and held it there a while, you can slowly remove it and end the session.

sIf he isn’t sore the next day, repeat. It is perfectly normal to be sore for a while until he learns to relax. It isn’t dangerous or a bad sign.  Let him know it is a normal part of learning to use new muscles. That’s exactly what it is. After a couple of sessions, begin moving the dildo in and out. Don’t let the tip completely exit, but pull it out as far as you can and push back in. Start slowly the first time. Build up over the next few sessions.

Now you can add the harness. Wear it tightly strapped to your body. Try positioning the dildo so it is right over your clitoris. That way, each thrust will stimulate you. Some women can orgasm that way. Now you can really peg him.

Believe it or not, most men learn to love this. It’s a great part of the forced chastity experience because it is very physical and sexual without providing him with an orgasm. It is also an unmistakable message about your dominance. Remember, this takes time and patience. Your efforts will be rewarded.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Sex
Male being spanked
Spanking can be a wonderful treat or a memorable punishment. It’s all in how it is administered.

This weekend was memorable for many reasons: Mrs. Lion acted independently on Saturday (see my post Progress). Saturday night was a caged male’s dream. My lioness had planned to go lion riding. I love that! Unfortunately, at the last moment mother nature stepped in and she couldn’t carry out her delightful plan. She told me what she was going to do and we were both sorry we couldn’t. However, she wasn’t going to be stopped by one little roadblock. Oh no! She unlocked me to clean up in the shower and off I trotted to get sweet smelling and clean.

I emerged from my shower to see a spanking strap and riding crop on the bed. As the only logical target (the dog was hiding under the bed), I had a feeling that I would be enjoying a spanking. There are two sorts of spankings: disciplinary, which are administered very firmly and generally at a time when the male is not aroused; and the fun sexy kind. This sort of spanking begins gently and slowly escalates as the male’s endorphin levels rise. Aside from a nice, rosy bottom, the sensations are very exciting. My lioness treated me to this delightful surprise. My spankings are always administered on my bare bottom. It is most sensitive after a warm shower.

She started with her hand. Believe me, she doesn’t need any more than her hand to really make me howl. She moved on to the strap and the riding crop. By the time she finished, my bottom was glowing and felt warm and toasty and my cock was hard and dripping. It’s been a while since we did that.

She told me to roll over on my back. She pushed my legs apart. I moved them apart, knees up to give her maximum access. She moved between my legs and gave me very long and incredibly exciting oral sex. When I was just about to come, she stopped, raised her head and asked if I would like to come. I breathlessly told her I would. She smiled and said, “Well ok.”

She then went back to work. I erupted in no time. Shortly after I calmed down, she handed me the cock and ball ring and I put it on. She then locked me back up in my cage. Wow! I woke up several times during the night feeling the delightful pressure of an attempted erection. I like that feeling and it rarely wakes me up, but last night was different. I pictured that great spanking and oral sex. I really wished I could escape my cage for a few minutes to take care of my aching need.