Confessions Of A Bottom
Things are quiet in the Lions’ den. We snuggled Monday night and Mrs. Lion played with my balls. I wasn’t having too much fun though. My allergies have been acting up. I was pretty uncomfortable all evening. Still, it was very nice to snuggle. I love the time we spend together. Of course, that doesn’t make terrific reading.
I’ve noticed that my behavior does change relative to my overall horniness. When it gets past a week, my submissive fantasy engine goes into high gear. My thoughts and posts veer sharply toward kinky submission. Before then, I still appreciate Mrs. Lion’s dominant actions, but I don’t make suggestions or give her reminders. Does that make me a horny-lion submissive?
It could be. We’ve both long suspected that I’m truly not a submissive male. I just like to act like one. Well, that’s not entirely true either. The reality is that I need to bottom. I don’t need to serve or feel inferior. My sexual fantasies are always around me bottoming. There is a big difference between submission and bottoming.
In terms of activities, they are pretty much the same thing. The big difference, I think, is how I feel. I don’t feel that I have to serve. I do like feeling Mrs. Lion’s power. As she can attest, I don’t always like what she does or makes me do. When those panties actually get laid out on the bed for me, I inwardly groan. I find no joy in spending the day in woman’s underwear.
I like the idea that Mrs. Lion punishes me for breaking a rule. I totally hate the actual punishments. As I wrote last week (post), I want her to escalate and really make me feel her power. Of course. at the time I was orgasm-free for over a week, so I was in my horny-paw-in-mouth phase. Now that I am post-orgasmic, I am not revoking my suggestions. They were good. I just don’t particularly enjoy the things that will happen to me.
There’s another thing. If I don’t get to bottom for a while, I lose interest in sex. That’s a clear sign of my need to bottom. Considering all this, it’s clear that my interest in a power exchange is sexually based. I suspect this is true of most of the men who read this blog. It shouldn’t be surprising. Enforced chastity is 100% sexually based. We have lots of different reasons for starting it. But, at the root it’s about being allowed to feel aroused but not being allowed to do anything about it. If you have no interest in sex, a chastity device is superfluous.
Spanking, etc. is similar. Why do we get hard when thinking about being spanked? Why do so many of us start our spankings with an erection? Most of us are quite flaccid by the time it’s done. Being spanked is one of the most common sexual fantasies for both sexes, especially me. Now you know the truth.
Hot Fudge
I’ve gotten over my birthday. Happily, there is a lot of cake left. It is a wonderful rum cake Mrs. Lion got me. We have a couple of days’ worth left. Yesterday, I wrote about what works for me as a bottom. To my surprise, it turns out that I need dominant behavior from my lioness. I’ve always thought that “play” that includes male chastity isn’t something I actually need. I’ve always convinced myself that bottoming is an optional extra, like hot fudge on vanilla ice cream.
At this point in my life, I need that hot fudge. I know what you are thinking. “No big deal. Of course he is submissive.” Even if that is true, there is clearly more going on. Mrs. Lion never stopped being in charge. I never got to give myself orgasms. I came only when Mrs. Lion decided to get me off. I got punished for breaking rules. Yet, there was something missing.
I listed my thoughts on those things in my post yesterday. Mrs. Lion told me she would try harder. I’m grateful she is willing to do things to make me happy. I’m not sure how she will find her way to do them. All of the things I mentioned are not regular parts of our life together. She has done most of them in the past. After a while, they faded away.
It’s not her fault. I don’t think she dislikes any of my requests. It’s more that none of them are on her pleasure radar. She isn’t a list maker, so she has to rely on her memory of what was said. I think that is part of the reason things fade away over time.
That’s the problem with one-way activities. Unless she can find fun for herself in, say, making me wear panties, she will forget to put them out for me. It isn’t for lack of interest. It’s just that it does nothing for her. This applies to almost any of our activities. Rules and punishments are an exception. Somehow, we managed to habituate that behavior. Mrs. Lion enjoys the game of discovering me misbehaving. Punishing me isn’t really fun for her, but it goes with the territory. You have to find the fudge if you want a sundae.
Aloha
When I took Lion out to dinner Sunday night, a woman at a table near ours ordered spaghetti and meatballs. What she got was spaghetti and meatball. A giant meatball. Lion asked what we’d have for his actual birthday dinner and decided we could have pasta. Well, you know I had to make him a giant meatball. It just seemed so ridiculous. I had to.
While the giant ball of meat was cooking, I gave him his birthday swats. They weren’t hard at all. He probably barely felt them. They were punctuated by lots of rubs and kisses on his buns. I love Lion’s buns.
I gave Lion his birthday card and final gift when I walked in the door. Well, final gift if you don’t count playing later on. His present was a Hawaiian shirt. He grimaced. Pink flamingos! Yup. Pink flamingos. He said he thought you were supposed to get people things they wanted for their birthday. Yes. Indirectly, he wants the Hawaiian shirt.
If you recall, on our last camping trip I suggested getting Lion a Hawaiian shirt to wear as punishment. I know he doesn’t like Hawaiian shirts. He makes fun of people who wear them. He’s asked me to be in charge and punish him as I see fit. What better punishment than making him wear a silly Hawaiian shirt? Hence, he wants a Hawaiian shirt.
Lion’s actual last present was to be an orgasm. I wanted to give him an oral orgasm but that giant meatball was looming large in my stomach. Face down on the bed sucking Lion was not going to be a manageable position. Not to worry. My hand would have to do.
Once I got him a little hard, I put some clothespins on my balls. I didn’t go for a record. Only ten or so. Enough to pinch him in all the right places and make my weenie more excited. In the past I’ve yanked off a clothespin just after I stop stroking. I’ve figured if he’s near the edge, the pain of the clothespin coming off will keep him from going too far. This time I pulled them off randomly.
I edged him several times. I was even considering throwing caution to the wind and moving over to suck him when I went a little too far. He was going to have a ruined orgasm. Can’t have that! I salvaged it at the last second.
Tonight I assume Lion won’t be horny. I may be wrong. We’ll have to see what happens. I’m thinking it might be time for another pegging session. Then some snuggling and go from there.
Three Ways To Make His Submissive Dreams Come True
I always like the way it feels after a thorough manscaping. Mrs. Lion did a complete job on Sunday. It always includes both shaving and treatment with the light pulse device. This device is successful in permanent hair removal after several months of treatment. Now, her shaving tasks are much reduced.
My pubic hair will never fully grow back. The entire area above my penis is laser-denuded permanently. No hair returns there. I am very happy that I made that commitment. At one time I was embarrassed about. the lack of pubic hair. When I could, I would let it grow back before seeing a doctor.
At some point I just got past being shy about it. I don’t think there is anything feminine or childish about my condition. I also don’t consider it a sign of submission. I spent ten years with a live-in slave and for that entire time I had no pubic hair.
The reason I bring this up is that it seems a lot of guys like to find what they think are symbols of their submission. As I’ve been writing lately, women don’t see these things the same way. It simply doesn’t matter to most women whether or not you have pubic hair. Some women prefer hair, others like skin. But either way, they don’t spend much time thinking about fur.
That’s the point.
What is?
There are things that many males, me definitely included, find deeply symbolic that have no particular importance to women. These male idiosyncrasies provide you, his partner, with amazingly powerful ways to enhance his power exchange experience. I’m not claiming that all guys share the same kinks that I do, but I know it’s easy to discover what works for your partner.
Here are suggestions that come from me and my kinks. I think that they apply with a little adjustment to most guys.
- Reinforce and enhance kinks. For example, drawing attention to my hairless weenie and butt in the context of my submission is both arousing and reinforcing. It’s easy to do and keep doing. And, it works; even on me. Frequent reference to it is a strong stimulus. That’s the odd thing about all this stuff. Even though I am writing the “handbook” I am still vulnerable to the things I am writing about.
- Develop kinks that make him feel a little embarrassed. Reference to his “little” weenie, making him wear female underwear (don’t forget the bra), and of course, body shaving, all give you a lot of fodder. Aside from making him do these things, you can make frequent verbal references to what he is doing.
- Make things he likes into stronger symbols of his submission. For example, I like my pubic hair shaved. I also like my chest hairless. But how would I feel about shaved legs and pits too? Only one way to find out. Don’t just do it, talk about it. Make it more embarrassing. If I like wearing women’s underwear, which I don’t, add more, a lot more. Magnify what works for him. Shaved legs look good in stockings. Right? Take a picture. It’s good to save memories.
These suggestions require embracing his kinks and using them to keep him off balance. By the way, locking him in a chastity device is a great way to show your control. But that’s not enough.
The key is to use these things. Refer to his kinks. Tease him about them. Tell him he looks cute in (fill in the kink). If he is in women’s undies, tell him he is a cute little girl. You get the idea. Mrs. Lion can do this and also post pictures of me, like the one in this post, in her daily report.
The same is true of spanking. Only a little “boy” or “girl” gets spanked. Right? It’s true if you say it is.
We’ve established that the primary reason a woman does all this stuff with her partner (or a guy with his partner, right Drew? 🙂 ) is because he wants it, maybe needs it. In the beginning, all you have to do is initiate the kink: cage him, panty him, spank him, etc. But over time that will fade into the background.
A chastity device, I think, is a great permanent part of a guy’s life. But he needs to be reminded why he is locked up. His internal fantasy needs regular feeding. Maybe it was a mistake to allow me to be wild. It’s got nothing to do with a risk I will do some secret masturbating, though if I were the keyholder, I would make a continuous big deal about the “need” for the device to avoid “accidents”. It’s all about the power exchange.
I made a serious mistake when I started “needing” Mrs. Lion to truly believe in the things that turn me on. I want her to enjoy all this stuff. But like most women, Mrs. Lion doesn’t share the same “symbols” as I. I should be happy and grateful she wants to play my game. I am happy about it. But, if she wants to play, she needs to really play.
Of course, this is a game for two. While it is often impossible to get a guy to articulate what works for him, you can experiment to discover his weak points. Remember, the idea is that he won’t like what you do or make him do. If he likes it, it won’t really do the job.
I think this works for me. I’m pretty sure it will work for almost every submissive guy. Action and words are the keys to dominating him the way he wants. Remember, he asked for it.
