Electric Starter
(Monday evening) Here I am three days from my last orgasm and I’m still not interested in another. This seems to be a trend. Two orgasms ago, I wasn’t really interested for over a week. Last time, the was the same. Around a week into a wait I start getting really horny. For the first three years, if I didn’t get to come by the tenth day, my interest in orgasm fell off sharply. Now the opposite seems to be true.
Maybe my sample isn’t large enough. For all I know, I’ll be dying to come tonight. Mrs. Lion takes the view that any wait time during which I’m not interested in sex doesn’t count. She says her clock starts when I’m horny. I’m not sure she is serious about that. This past weekend I got release only two days after I was clearly interested.
I don’t think I have undergone any physiological change. It may be circumstance. I’ve been tired and physical therapy has been leaving me sore for a day or more after I get it. Since I am getting therapy three times a week, there aren’t many days I don’t hurt. Pain is exhausting. Now that the chronic pain is gone, situational pain caused by the stress of therapy seems much worse.
Whatever the reason, I don’t like this trend at all. It is much more fun when I am hard and hungry each time Mrs. Lion fondles me. I’ll ask her to bring out the big artillery tonight: the Magic Wand. Maybe I just need an electric starter right now.
OTK
Poor Lion. He wrote a post about punishment and of not being punished in a while and now he’s going to be punished. I keep telling him he needs to watch what he says.
I’ve been looking the other way for quite a while when he interrupts me. He hasn’t been feeling well. Me either. But now he’s back to feeling a little better. Let the games begin.
Last night he wasn’t very frisky. I was trying for a while to no avail. I said I was going to use some clothespins but it didn’t seem worth it if he wasn’t in the mood. I doubt the clothespins would have made him suddenly friskier.
While looking at his post and the picture in it, he said he’s sure we can make OTK spanking work. “All I have to do” is take a bigger swing. I hate that phrase. Is that all? Actually all I have to do is have his weight on me while trying not to be pushed backwards while trying to take any sort of swing that will connect with his butt in sort of the right spot.
I don’t like OTK. We’re both overweight and that doesn’t make us fit together very well. Most of the pictures we see are of thin people. They can make it work. “All we have to do” is lose a lot of weight before OTK will work consistently for us. But I’ll be game and we can try it again tonight.
The Myth Of Maintenance Spankings
It’s been a while since I’ve been spanked. That’s a good thing, I think. Against the odds, I’ve managed to avoid spilling food on my shirt. I pay close attention to when Mrs. Lion starts eating and wait until she starts or tells me I can. I’m proud of that.
I have interrupted her a few times. She’s let me know I was doing wrong and I shut up. She chose not to punish me. I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been under the weather. I appreciate that thoughtfulness. I also know the party will be over now that I am feeling better.
This brings up some feelings of dread. I don’t like being punished. But as my last punishment gets smaller and smaller in my rear view mirror, my fear of retribution also diminishes. This is natural and of no real importance as long as I continue following my rules and obeying Mrs. Lion. However, it isn’t very exciting.
Of course, in a pure FLR with discipline excitement isn’t part of the equation. The relationship is all about obedience. In our case there is also a BDSM component in addition to our FLR with discipline. Being spanked, at least the idea of being spanked, arouses me. Even after years of punishments, I still consider spanking erotic until I get one. I’m turned on at the prospect. Once the paddle starts swinging, the erotic thoughts disappear. It just hurts. Nevertheless, I do fantasize about being spanked.
So, when I proposed our FLR with discipline, my request included regular maintenance spankings. The theory was that if the memory of a beating was never very far in the past, I would be more inclined to be obedient. In the cold light of analysis, the opposite is true. If the real objective is obedience, then any punishment given for no reason confuses its purpose.
In a purely disciplinary relationship, punishment is reserved for correction, not satisfaction of a fantasy. Maintenance spankings make no sense in a disciplinary relationship. They have a negative effect. Now, that doesn’t mean frequent spankings won’t happen if desired. It’s easy for a top to find reasons to punish. I do something pretty much every day that would give Mrs. Lion a reason to punish me.
She decides when I reach the level of needing one. I suppose that if I want to be spanked, I could break a rule on purpose. If I try that and Mrs. Lion realizes what I have done, I know the punishment will be horrible. It won’t be something I want to fantasize about. Yes, spanking is a very popular BDSM activity. It is also the primary punishment tool in a FLR with discipline. For us, at least, it has to be one or the other. That means spanking is only used to punish me. It’s never something for “maintenance” or fun. [Mrs. Lion – I think Lion can still have play spankings. There is a difference between the two. If nothing else, I stop now and then during a play spanking to fondle his buns.]
Vicious Cycle
I believe Lion is over his cold or reaction to the flu shot. He’s still got a bit of a cough and at times he’s still stuffy but he’s up and around. We went to the grocery store yesterday and that wiped him out. Obviously he still needs to rest.
Last night we didn’t play. We held hands a bit and I’m sure Lion will note we didn’t snuggle. What’s up with that? It did coincide with the day after an orgasm for him. He was tired. I was tired. I just needed some down time. It’s true I play on my iPad and vegetate a lot but I don’t turn my brain off. My brain is still flying, thinking about all the things that need to be done or what’s going on at work or what someone said. Maybe I need to learn to meditate.
I won’t say Lion thinks about sex all the time, but I know he sees weekends as free time that could be spent on sex and play, but there are these damn chores that need to be done and he isn’t able to help with most of them yet and that means they take longer and then I’m tired and I don’t want to play. Vicious cycle. I know he feels bad that he can’t help more. He’s just not able to lift or reach. He’s getting there though. Every PT session gains him a little more movement. I get the “look what I can do” when he’s able to move further. He has come a long way since the surgery and we aren’t even quite at the six month mark yet.
I’ll make sure I save some energy for Lion snuggles later. I may even put clothespins on my balls. And maybe a few on his boobies. I’m not sure he’ll ever be paid back for pinching my nipples those few times. Lion actions do have serious consequences.
