Male sexuality doesn’t seem very mysterious, but in fact it is pretty complex. Many males complain that after being caged for a while, sex stops feeling as good. Some want to be freed because they mourn the loss of that great feeling. There are two facts about male sexuality that may help explain what is going on and how to remain caged and still have amazing orgasms.
- Being locked up “trains” the penis to avoid arousal. Most males report that after a while (days to weeks) in a cage without frequent stimulation, that when freed and given sexual release that the sex doesn’t feel as good. This is most likely due to a physical and mental lowering of sexual expectations. Prior to being caged, most of us knew that if we were teased or if we initiated sex (alone or with a partner), the eventual outcome would be ejaculation. Now, in our new lifestyle, while caged we learn that an erection doesn’t point to release, and if we are freed for a while, we just might end up teased and locked up again without ejaculating.
Of course we knew going in that this is how forced chastity works. But there is a big difference between knowing and internalizing the harsh reality of sexual frustration. We learn to deal with this in two ways: We teach ourselves to internalize the frustration and use it to feed our submissive / chastity fantasies. Our bodies don’t allow serious arousal until they are sure that the result will probably be ejaculation. As a result, if we are uncaged and our partner stimulates us directly to orgasm, we will probably ejaculate without a problem, but not enjoy the orgasm as much as we did before chastity.
- The male arousal curve flattens more than before caging. Females get aroused in a smooth buildup over time. They slowly get more and more excited until they orgasm. Males, on the other hand, get aroused enough to get hard, then very slowly get more aroused until just before ejaculation when over a few seconds arousal hits its peak and ejaculation occurs. Pre-lockup, since we had an expectation of ejaculating when stimulated, while not very steep, our arousal curve did grow as we were stimulated. By the time we hit the point of no return, we were ready.
Now we have learned that arousal probably doesn’t mean orgasm, so our bodies don’t allow our arousal to grow much until we are close to the point of no return. Basically, we get hard, wait, and when ejaculation is inevitable, over two or three seconds peak, squirt, and are done. We do have a real orgasm but it just doesn’t feel as good.
Coupled with having to wait and wait for a chance to squirt, it’s a big letdown to discover when we can let it go it just doesn’t feel as good. Contrary to common sense, the longer we have to wait, the higher the probability that it won’t be that much fun. Is there anything we can do? There is, but it has its price. One thing is to ask our keyholders to take extra time arousing us when we are uncaged. Maybe play with us for a while and then stop and do something else. Then a bit later start again. That will give our bodies a chance to get used to being aroused.
Of course, all that arousal may just end with us on the very edge of orgasm and being locked back up. That’s the risk. I, for one, like that idea. Psychologically, we are forced to believe we will ejaculate whenever we are aroused by our partner. If we don’t, then when we do get to come, it won’t feel as good. In short, if we want to be sure the occasional orgasm feels as good as the kind we used to have, we need to convince ourselves that every time we are sexually stimulated it will result in a nice orgasm. If we don’t convince ourselves of that, we risk the let down of an unsatisfying orgasm.
For most of us, caged males and keyholders alike, this is unexpected. It makes the delicious torture of orgasm denial that much more poignant. If we want the rare chance we get to come to feel really good, we have to help our keyholder maximize our frustration when she doesn’t let us come. In a way I like this idea. The more I think about it, the more I am enjoying the irony. Being a caged lion turns out to require me to learn new things about old pleasures.
For some time, even before being caged, I wake up at 3 AM or so to pee. As in the past, I frequently find myself aroused. Only now my erection is the same size as my flaccid penis. Its thicker and bulges against the bars. The head tries to push its way out. Some people say it hurts when they try to get hard. It doesn’t hurt me at all. It actually feels good. I haven’t tried very hard, but once my little chubby presses against its cage, nothing I can do with my hand will arouse me further. Orgasm in my cage is apparently impossible. As frustrated as I get, I don’t really want to try to come on my own. After all, I asked my lioness to lock me up. It would make no sense to turn around and try to defeat my cage. What does happen is a little feeling of futility. I know that the good sensation from my erection isn’t going to get any better and I won’t be able to actually come. So, I get up and sit down to pee, return to bed and go back to sleep.
I have always liked a cute butt. Lots of women wear tight jeans which does a great job showing off some truly nice asses. I’ve never been a blatant girl watcher, but i have always enjoyed a casual glance or two. This has been changing since I have been caged. I find myself starting to look and then I catch myself. What’s the point? This is very odd since I have never actually tried to catch any of the cute females I have seen. I guess that subconsciously I had liked the possibility that if I wanted to try, I might have a chance. I never consciously thought about sex with them. I only want my lioness. This subtle change surprises me. It’s like some basic part of my male constitution is restrained by that little cage. I am changed by simply locking my penis up. Who’d have guessed.
A great deal of the forced male chastity folklore revolves around the transformation of the male from inconsiderate thug to simpering submissive. The sexy fantasy has this transformation automatically happening when the lock clicks shut. Many guys try to actually make this change. Has anyone asked the keyholder what she wants?
Speaking from my experience as a former top, submissive service — you know, fetching things, cleaning, chores, etc. — carries a high price for the top. No submissive expects to just do these things without some reinforcement. It’s like being caged and then having your partner just leave you that way with no further activity or conversation. Sound like fun? No? Well, that means your keyholder has just inherited a lot of homework when she agreed to lock you up.
The point is that most of us guy make a lot of assumptions about our keyholders. We expect them to like their new role and to do all those things that will torment and tease us. We expect them to enjoy our service and provide lots of rules, reinforcements, and punishments. Did we ask them if they wanted to do all this? Nope.
The first time my Lioness and I tried this sort of play, I made all the usual assumptions. I expected her to love teasing me and making me wait for my chance to come. I thought she would enjoy making and enforcing rules for me to follow. Basically I assumed that she would make topping me her new hobby, maybe even career. It’s not too surprising that it didn’t work out. She has other things she would prefer doing. Worse yet for my fantasy, sexual service is not at all what she wants from me. She wants romance and vanilla lovemaking, at least within the limits of being caged. That wasn’t how I thought it would work. I imagined she would lie on the bed and demand I eat her; tell me to lick her all over, bathe her, etc. Nope, not at all.
It all comes back to the fact that forced chastity is rarely the idea of our partners. We come up with it and then expect full participation in our fantasy. That sounds more like work to our partners than fun. I realized that I needed an attitude adjustment. I’ve been working on making that change since I’ve been locked up. If you read the featured post and my Lioness’ response, you can see that I haven’t been very successful. However, I now have a fairly clear idea of what I need to do. She’s working hard to give me what I want. I am reciprocating. That’s the whole point; chastity is for us, not something done to us. We need to pay back the favor with our keyholders, not in some fantasy submissive way, but in a way she wants.
One of the key concepts behind forced chastity is sexual control. This is interesting to me because it implies that without my cage I would stray. Of course I wouldn’t. I haven’t in my entire relationship with my Lioness, and being caged doesn’t change that. However, the purpose of the cage in our case isn’t about a dalliance with a stray lioness. It’s a powerful symbol of control, at least to me. That’s the other key factor: my Lioness isn’t caging me to stake out her sexual territory; she is doing it to help me realize a fantasy/kink for female control. This fantasy and its realization are inconsistent in our marriage. My Lioness trusts me. I know she isn’t a bit worried about me prowling. I am pretty sure she doesn’t really care if I masturbate or not. So my cage is more sporting equipment than security device. We are playing a long-term sexual game.
In this game my Lioness gets to make sexual rules I must follow. She can tease me as much as she wants without release. She can ignore me sexually and watch me stew in my own juices. I get to experience the exquisite frustration of desperately wanting release but being unable to get it. My penis has always been a toy available to me anytime I want to play. It is still there, but thanks to my cage, all it is good for now is urination. I can get myself excited, but all that does is make the cage tighter and leads to no satisfaction at all. I never realized how much I enjoyed simply getting hard; feeling the weight of my hard cock hanging in front of me. I loved the sensation of gently fucking the sheet if I got an early morning erection. That doesn’t happen anymore.
This game is very much all about me. I know that. I wish my Lioness had as much fun frustrating me as I am having as the caged male. But she doesn’t. I often wonder why I like losing something I love. What is it about losing control of my toy that is so exciting? Is it that because my cock is out of reach, it is more enticing? Forbidden fruit. I don’t know.
The fact that my Lioness is willing to devote time and energy to this game is a real tribute to her love for me. I am grateful that I am so lucky. It’s ironic that the fantasy is that my mate gets pleasure and comfort by having absolute physical control over my cock, when the reality is that she never worried about letting me run wild. I am the one getting pleasure out of surrendering control.
This is the key point: forced chastity isn’t so much about my partner taking control away from me as it is about me surrendering control to her. I think that a lot of men who want to be caged would have much better luck with their partners if they approached this as something they do, not something their partners take. This is surrender, not capture.