Forced male chastity is all about sex. It sounds a bit crazy since my penis is locked in a device that prevents me from erection or any other sexual activity. But it appears that for both caged male and keyholder, forced chastity puts a very bright spotlight on sex. I realize that most of my posts have been based on sex, not the absence of it. It makes sense in a perverse way; forced male chastity is not forgoing sex, it is transferring control to another. In my case, Mrs. Lion. She takes her agreement to be my keyholder seriously. This agreement has a very desirable result for both of us: we are communicating more about sex and are actively working to improve our sex life. Who’d of thought a little cage on my penis would do this?
In her most recent post, Mrs. Lion alluded to my prior adventures. It’s true. I seem to be the Forest Gump of sexual adventure. For reasons I can’t explain, I have fallen into situations that most men only dream about. She alluded to one in particular, my relationship with two women. The story of that would make a good letter in Penthouse Magazine. Frankly, if I read it there I wouldn’t believe it. But it really happened.
When I was forty, prior to the Internet taking over and the creation of the Web, I chatted with people on CompuServe. This was an online service you reached by dialing a modem. It wasn’t graphic, just a dumb terminal. However, the chat rooms were excellent places for stimulating conversation to say the least. One day in a public chat room I cracked a joke to a woman with the nickname Girlscout (Yes, one word. That’s all you could have). She sent me a private message asking to chat. We went into a private chat room. One thing led to another and she told me that she was in a decade-long relationship with another woman. The two of them were 28 years old and had met while working at a girl scout camp. Her partner often got them both involved sexually on flings with other women. They had recently been talking about what it would be like to have sex with a man. (Seriously, this really happened!) She asked if I would be interested. Are you kidding?
Over a month or so the three of us chatted on the phone and online. We enjoyed each others company. One day near my birthday my phone rang and one of the women said that the two of them had planned to drive the 200 miles to my house and surprise me for my birthday but her partner’s mom was in the hospital. Talk about a birthday present! I asked if I could go there instead. She agreed. I drove to their house and the adventure began.
It wasn’t always easy. For one thing both women were virgins. They had never had sex with a man. One still had an intact hymen. See? Unbelievable, right? I took their virginity that first night. It wasn’t a smooth, romantic scene. It had lots of awkward moments. Aside from the hot sex we laughed a lot too. It felt great when we were done that night. We discovered that we liked this situation.
Our relationship lasted over a year. It ended when one of the women asked the other if she would give me up if she were asked. The other woman said she wouldn’t. That was the beginning of the end. Eventually all three of us separated. Why talk about this now? Because there were some valuable lessons for me that have influenced the rest of my life. The first thing all three of us learned was that we really didn’t like having sex as a group. It was difficult because we worried someone would feel left out. We ended up doing non sexual things together as a group, but having sex as couples. Occasionally all three of us would romp together, but as a rule we chose twosomes.
I learned that a triad (three people in a relationship) was way more complex than sex with two women. We had to work hard to make sure everyone was comfortable and felt loved. Jealousy, I guess, was inevitable no matter how hard we tried to avoid it. I was, after all, the outsider who could be seen as competing for one or the other partner. There were social issues since in those days lesbians were not comfortable publicly expressing affection, but with me, a man, it was perfectly acceptable. That only served to highlight the inequality they felt.
Most significant to me was that I learned to provide pleasure without necessarily being pleased at the same time. These women were wonderful examples of unselfishness. I am grateful for what they taught me. So, again what does that have to do with me being locked up? Something incredibly important to me. I learned that while I was attracted to the fantasy of having two women at the same time, the real value of the experience had nothing at all to do with sex. I learned about communication and unselfishness. I learned about unconditional love. I grew as a result.
My being locked up is turning out the same way. I’ve been in love with Mrs. Lion for more than a decade. That was never in question. But there was a chasm forming in our relationship. We weren’t communicating on how we could have a great sexual relationship. Mrs. Lion did things for me, but was frustrated because she wasn’t getting what she needs from me. After she agreed to lock me up, she realized that she needed to learn more about what I want and need sexually. She also learned that direct communication was needed to make forced chastity work.
I learned that I had to work much harder to find ways to please her. I had to let her know how much I want her to enjoy sex with me. I had to do things to help bring her libido back. Most of all I have to communicate constantly about what she wants and needs and not allow the dialogue to be about just me. Have I succeeded? No, not by a long shot. I still have so much to learn. But I won’t stop trying to be better. That cage reminds me constantly that things are different and I have an obligation to find more ways to please my keyholder. I have to encourage her to seek things for her pleasure, not just mine.
We are both trying. I think it is working. Last night, for the first time, when I was masturbating her, Mrs. Lion told me to put my fingers inside. Doesn’t sound like much? It is! This is the first time in my memory she ever told me (not asked!) me to do something that would please her. I loved it! I can’t wait for more of this kind of order.
Adventures are good. Not necessarily because a fantasy comes true, but because in my experience other things come along with realizing the fantasy; things that are far more important and lasting. So, if you think that being a caged male, or caging your male just means controlling sex, you are wrong. It will force a wide range of changes that, at least in my case, are improving my marriage and making me grow as a man.
I know I’ve told Lion I’d do anything for him. And he’s said it to me. But it’s just not true. Would I give him a kidney? Yes. Would I put my life on the line for him? Yes. Would I go to the opera with him? (Yuck) Yes. Would I do breath play with him? No. Body suspension? No. So there are limits.
A long time ago, my studly Lion had a relationship with two women. He lived many men’s fantasy. I’m not sure how long the relationship lasted but he said it was great! And exhausting. When we got together I told him about my fantasy to have sex with two guys at once. Not a relationship. Just a few hours. Lion said he didn’t like that idea. Two guys was something he didn’t want any part of. He said he might be ok with another woman but no guys. Humph! Whose fantasy is this anyway?
Over the years we’ve done all sorts of things. I’ve spanked him. I’ve shoved dildos up his ass. I’ve put so many clothes pins on him he looked like a human porcupine. I’ve tied up his balls and his cock. He has never asked me to do something I wouldn’t do. We’re even fulfilling his fantasy of being caged. He’s never hit my limit. But with that one fantasy I managed to hit his.
If he had asked me before we started what my limits were I would have had no idea. Since I was a newbie I couldn’t have predicted what he had in store for me. I had to take each suggestion as it came. I still do.
Maybe you’ve been in the lifestyle for a long time. Maybe you think you’ve seen everything. I bet someone could come up with something you’ve never heard of. Even if you’ve set limits in your relationship, it’s always a good idea to revisit them as new things pop up. And people change their minds all the time. The act that turned your stomach a few years ago may turn you on now.
(Wednesday May 21, 2014) Recently, Mrs. Lion has been doing extremely effective tease and deny with me. She unlocks me and has me remove my cock and ball ring. Then she begins a great handjob. She stimulates me, moving faster and faster. At the exact moment I feel ready to ejaculate, she stops. In the past she has done this but stopped a few seconds before the point of no return. Now, she takes me right up to the point of ejaculation. When she stops, it feels like a door is slamming. I expect to see semen and experience yet another ruined orgasm, but no, nothing comes out. She waits a minute or so and begins again. She doesn’t let me start to get soft, she just lets me come down from my near miss. Lately, she has repeated this at least three times before either locking me up again or pushing me over the edge for a full orgasm.
When she locks me up after teasing, I feel some resentment. I never experienced that before. I think the reason for this is that in the past she got me excited, but never brought me to the point that I just had to come. Even though I know that when she begins using her hand again I probably won’t get to come, when she gets me highly excited again, I just need to come and when I don’t, I take a deep breath and grit my teeth. After a few of these, my need grows stronger and stronger. When finally, she just lets me get soft and locks me up, I feel cheated.
That’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s very good. In the past when I was just sorry she didn’t finish me off I almost felt glad she stopped teasing me. I thought it was satisfaction at being teased. I wrote about this in A Lion Breakthrough. The satisfaction was real, but the level of stimulation was a bit short of taking me to the very edge of the cliff. Now that she takes me so close that I am sure I will ejaculate with or without an orgasm, she stops. This is a powerful physical and emotional experience. It makes me unmistakably feel her control.
I asked Mrs. Lion how she knows exactly when I am about to go over the edge. She smiled and said that she won’t tell me so that I won’t change my signals. There is no question that her powers of observation have taught her how to be so successful at teasing me. I also think that I am learning. I don’t mean that I am learning in the sense that I control what happens to me. I think that my brain is learning how to separate arousal from ejaculation. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that the hair trigger that controls my release of semen has gotten less sensitive. My body is making it easier for Mrs. Lion to give me that ultimate frustration. If that’s true and I continue separating ejaculation from that peak, eventually she can train me to ejaculate only when told I can. I know that some people have learned to do this. I wonder if I will too.
While tease and deny is a very frustrating activity for me, it is also a perfectly correct part of my chastity. I am very proud of my lioness for her ability to resist the temptation to let me orgasm at the end. I may hate it at the time, but I am grateful that she is training me this way. I’m even ready to accept that I don’t need to orgasm as often as I do now. Is this progress? I think so!
Several posts lately have made me wonder what the purpose of this
game is. A caged male trying to extricate himself and someone who
willfully misbehaves just to be punished. I don’t get it. It’s
difficult for me to wrap my mind around the idea of anyone wanting to
be tied up and spanked or have their nipples pinched or enjoying pain.
I guess since I’m almost always in some sort of pain, I can’t imagine
To some extent I can understand a junior Houdini caged male who tries
to break free. It’s a challenge to him. He buys bigger and better
cages to outsmart them. If he has a keyholder I hope she understands
that he’s not breaking free to misbehave. Unless he really is breaking
out just to misbehave. Then he’s like the one who misbehaves to get
Is it just to get attention? Is it to outsmart the keyholder? What
recourse does the keyholder have? Punishment will be enjoyed. Ignoring
him will cause him to act out more. If I’m being undermined as a
keyholder how long will I want to continue being a keyholder?
I thought spanking Lion fairly hard as punishment was different from
a spanking he likes. Now I find out that he might actually enjoy the
punishment spanking too. Not from a “my keyholder is exercising her
power over me” point of view, but from a “I really love being spanked”
point of view. Do I need to find another way to punish him? Does he
need to be zapped? He’s said the zap is not really a long lasting
deterrent. If I do find another way to punish him I will be worried
that he enjoys that as much as spanking. Every time I think I’m
getting my footing with this the ground gives way a little bit.
I guess I could go back to diapers. I know he hates them and that’s
one of the reasons I stopped making him wear them. The other reason
was the planning. If we were going to be away from home for any length
of time he’d be uncomfortable and there was a risk of leaking and
embarrassment. But if he needs a punishment he doesn’t like then maybe
diapers are the answer. Personally I like the idea of punishment
swats. They’re quick and easy and, I thought, the idea of them hanging
over him all day until I had his naked buns available was daunting to
him. Maybe I need a meaner paddle. Maybe I don’t need to understand
the purpose of the game at all. Maybe I just need to keep playing along.