(Sunday, May 18 2014) Sundays are lazy days around the lion’s den. We sleep late unless the dog decides she needs some early morning attention. It’s a good time for some introspection. Even though I have been caged since January, every so often I wonder about why this is something I want. This morning I had an Epiphany. It’s all about control. That may seem obvious. Well, it is. But I have been discovering that this need is deeper than I thought.
All this new introspection came after I started wearing the shock collar. The device isn’t particularly cruel or frightening, but its implications are profound to me. Here I am walking around wearing a device that someone else can use to instantly deliver a range of sensations invisibly and at a distance. I am only slightly aware that the contacts are pressing into my scrotum just behind the cock and ball ring for my cage (See lower photo on right). But when Mrs. Lion wants my attention or wants to correct me, I get anything from a gentle “buzz” to a jolt that will make me jump. If she presses the red, “+2” button, the jolt will make me jump. She can hold either button down for a few seconds to be sure I get the point.
The thing about this device that makes it particularly effective for me is that she can provide this sensation anytime and anyplace I am. I can be shopping hundreds of feet from her, or I can be sitting in a quiet restaurant, or even in the mens room and she can reach me. Other forms of control like bondage; or correction like spanking require privacy and some preparation. It takes time and work on her part to give me the desired stimulation. With this device she can correct me in an instant with only the tiny effort needed to press a button. That’s what makes its effect so profound.
Wearing the cage certainly sends me the strong message that I no longer have sexual control of my penis. It is something I wanted very badly. The shock collar takes things to an entirely new level. When I have it on I fee very vulnerable. I know that nothing will protect me from Mrs. Lion’s corrections. She can “page” me, and if I don’t return to her quickly enough she can send me powerful reminders that will continue until I am where she wants me. She can use this technique to irresistibly encourage me to do anything she wishes.
Think about that for a minute. While the cage prevents me from erections and orgasms, the collar bends me to her will at any time and for any reason. Using this simple device, she can condition me to do or not do anything she wants. Unlike classic top techniques, this device eliminates the need for any cooperation on my part. Yes, I can choose to resist her signal, but if I do, she can increase the intensity of the stimulation to the point where I don’t want to resist any longer. I want to do what she tells me. Because the stimulation is instant and has no lingering effects, I unconsciously associate the stimulation with the behavior she is correcting. I learn at the most primitive level to do what she wants.
The challenge for my top and keyholder is to decide how to use this absolute power and control. I’m not even sure what to suggest to her. Does she want me to stop touching myself and adjusting my balls? Would she like me to always open doors for her; wait for her to eat first; avoid saying certain words, always stand with my hands clasped behind my back? All of these things are excellent candidates for conditioning using the instant feedback of the shock collar. Delayed feedback like spanking are less likely to effect real change. Like other critters, lions (and people) do better if they associate corrections with the actions immediately. Just press the yellow or red button and the lion is corrected then and there.
We haven’t really done this yet. I hope we do. The scientist in me is curious to see if the lion in me can be trained this way. When I strap the collar on, I get a little tingle that comes from my vulnerability. It’s there all the time under my clothes ready to remind me and correct me when I need it. Now that’s real control.
If you’ve experienced this or have comments or questions about this sort of training, please leave a comment or use Contact Us to share your feelings and experiences. This technology is affordable and safe. I think it offers a whole new world of opportunities in male control.
Lion and I haven’t been doing much lately. His leg is still bothering him so he hasn’t been his horny self. I did allow him an orgasm a few nights ago. I figured after feeling so rotten for so long he deserved some release. And I teased him a few nights with one night either being a tease and deny or a ruined orgasm. There was some fluid but not a lot and neither of us could decide how we want to classify it. Last night he got another orgasm but I kept playing with him afterwards so it wasn’t quite as much fun for him.
I know he’s looking forward to playing more. Last night he asked if there was some reason I haven’t sucked him in a while. He knows that’s one of my favorite things to do. I didn’t want to take the chance of bumping his sore leg so I’ve restrained myself. It certainly doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it. There were a few times I almost moved into position before I remembered. Damn!
He has gotten some swats. He interrupted me the other night. Whack! He ate without permission before I did. Whack whack! And I owe him a swat from lunchtime when he ate without permission again. To be fair, it’s been a long time since we had that rule and I don’t always catch him. But he’s been very good about confessing. He’s such a good boy!
I find myself being tired of him not feeling well. Not in the sense that I don’t want to take care of him or that he’s whining too much. It’s just that I feel like the kid on the long car trip who keeps asking, “Are we there yet?” I almost want to say, “Aren’t you better yet?” Loosely translated that means, ” Can I suck you yet? Can I tease you more? Can we get back to things yet?” And lately it even means, “Can you play with me?” I think he’ll see that as a good complaint.
In a sense, I feel like my hands are tied. Being the top, and not wanting to be the bottom, having your hands tied is not a good feeling. I want to play with my toy and it’s broken. Naturally, as a responsible adult, I’ve been having mini temper tantrums in my head. I’ve been pouting and stomping my feet. And I want my toy back! The good news is that he is on the mend and in time he will be back on the playground. Not a moment too soon!
[Lion: I share Mrs. Lion’s feelings. I’m not used to having physical problems. In my case it is a blood clot on my leg. It’s serious but not life threatening. We are both really tired of having it restrict our fun. It’s much better now and I hope within a few days things will be back to normal in the lion’s den]
Most of the time it’s just fine being caged 24/7. But there are occasions when being locked up can cause embarrassment or worse. One example came up last week. I had developed a small blood clot in my leg. Fortunately it was superficial and posed no threat of traveling to my lungs. However, it did require several doctor visits. For one of them, Mrs. Lion and I both forgot that the visit was the next day and I went off to work in my cage. Only after I was at work did we both realize the error. Mrs. Lion had to meet me at the doctor’s office and had to remove my cage in the back seat of her truck before we went in. Admittedly, the worst that could have happened was that my doctor spied the bulge and asked a question. Not the worst thing in the world, but nothing either of us wanted to happen.
In a prior post, Mrs. Lion wrote about her concerns that I would need to be uncaged and she would not be available or the key would be in its hiding place at home. That got me thinking. I need an emergency key, but one that is stored in a way that will let Mrs. Lion know if I accessed it. I searched all over the web. I finally found an aluminum pill container small enough to fit on my key chain (photo right). The key, or in my case, the tool that opens my cage would fit inside.
As it turned out, the tool is slightly too long to fit. We are going to grind off some of the end and then it will be a nice, snug fit. That solves the “what” of where the emergency key goes. Now, we need a way to inform Mrs. Lion if I had my paws inside it. The solution to that turned out to be quite simple. A tamper-resistant label with a serial number on it would immediately reveal any attempt to extract the key (see photo below, left).
Labels alone aren’t enough. A sneaky lion could remove the key, do the nasty, then return the key and use a new label. But this system is too smart for that. Every label has a unique serial number. Mrs. Lion can check the number of the label against one posted on the right side of the page and immediately determine if I have been accessing the key.
For additional security, the labels are holograms and the manufacturer guarantees there are no repeats of the serial number. This product is also available on amazon.com. For less than $15 you can have a secure way to provide an emergency key.
This system is also very useful for travel. The male can be uncaged before his trip. Upon arriving at the destination, he can lock himself up, put the key in the emergency container, seal it with a label, and take a picture of himself with the container, his cage, and the label on it with his phone and text it to you. Just before leaving for home, he can take the same picture again and text it to you. Then he can remove the key, unlock and go through airport security. Once safely home, you can lock him up again.
This may seem a little extreme. I don’t think it is. I know that I like the idea that my lioness is in firm charge under all conditions. Ideally I would never have access to a key. That would only work if I were with her constantly. Since that isn’t possible for most of us, we have to choose between taking the chance I will never need to be unlocked while Mrs. Lion isn’t with me, or provide me with a way to unlock myself if necessary.
As we all know, any cage that attaches via a cock and ball ring is almost certainly escapable with enough time and effort. There is a certain amount of trust in any forced male chastity relationship. I, for one, will never attempt to pull out of my cage. I’m certain it’s possible, but very difficult. But I won’t. This isn’t the same as being uncaged. The cage serves its purpose. It prevents me from getting hard and makes it impossible for me to have any form of sex while locked up. Giving me a key and “trusting” me just makes it too easy to cheat. While I won’t cheat, it feels a little insulting to remove any pretense of real physical control. The fact is that while I might (and I am not sure I can) pull out of the locked caged. I am 100-percent certain that I could never get back in. Mrs. Lion would find out. Similarly, if I have an emergency key and it is sealed as I described. I can unlock myself, but if I do, Mrs. Lion will find out. If my unauthorized release isn’t sufficiently urgent, I can expect severe punishment. So, it isn’t so much whether I can get out on my own, but whether I can do it without Mrs. Lion finding out. I don’t want to think about what would happen in that case. So you see, it really is forced male chastity. Just like any imprisonment, escape may be possible, but recapture results in terrible penalties.
Part of me wants to spank Lion for stealing my ideas for posts and part of me is happy we’re on the same wavelength. The other day I was formulating a post about WIIFM and there it was as a Lion entry. The same post, Top Drop, stole my idea about the possibility of burning out as a top. Who knew he’d turn into a mind reader?
I will tell you that I am learning a lot about Lion. Perhaps more than he’s ever told me directly. I didn’t know he had ever discussed playing with his ex wife. It’s been difficult for me to keep track of his various partners over the years. He did come of age in the 60s and 70s when having a lot of sex was just what you did. I had the misfortune of coming of age in the AIDS years when people were afraid of dying. That’s why I never sowed my wild oats when I was younger.
Again, in today’s post, Lion proves he’s read my mind. He traces his journey in the lifestyle. I’ve been thinking about writing a post about my, for want of a better word, loneliness in the lifestyle. When Lion was experimenting he had a partner who was at the same stage. They found their way together. Of course I have Lion, but he’s just one voice. Granted he probably has more experience than ten people I could encounter, but when you’re learning about things isn’t it better to have more sources? In school when writing a paper we all griped about needing more than three sources. But now I see the purpose of them. How can I find out more information if I don’t have more sources?
I’ve gone with Lion to a meeting of his BDSM group. They were all his friends. I’m an introvert so it was not really the sort of place I could feel comfortable asking questions. Plus, since I’m a newbie I’m thinking all my questions are going to sound stupid. Why would Lion, with all his experience, have this rookie following him around? We also went to a sort of BDSM conference with workshops and demonstrations. Again, all his friends. And they were all really into this stuff. I mean, really into it. Walking around in handcuffs, pony boy outfits, leather corsets and long leather boots carrying a whip. I was out of my element. So how do I learn? How do I know if what I’m feeling is normal? How do I stop feeling lost? It’s not like laundry or cooking where I can just call my mother and ask what I’m doing wrong. Why aren’t my whites white? Why can’t I get my pork chops to taste like your pork chops? How long should I spank my husband? Nope. Not going to happen.
Agreeing to be Lion’s keyholder has churned up questions again. I guess I’ll always doubt that I am doing enough for him. That’s just my nature. After all, I’ve been doing this for more than ten years now and I still feel like a newbie. After he read this post Lion suggested some books. I’m looking forward to seeing if they answer my questions and/or bolster my confidence. I’ll let you know.