Come On, Eddie!
I don’t know why I decided it would be a good idea to masturbate last night in front of Lion. I haven’t masturbated in a long time. It’s usually been in conjunction with Lion saying he misses giving me orgasms and wants me to get my libido back. I give it the old college try in private to see if anything happens. The past two times (at least) haven’t resulted in much of anything happening. I figure who would know better how to give me an orgasm than me? I know what feels good. I don’t have to tell myself faster or slower. I just do it. That is, of course, if the “it” wants to happen.
Did I think it would be a turn on for Lion to watch? Did I think he would learn anything? Did I think he would keep asking me what I was doing and how hard was I pressing and why is this spot better than that spot? I really don’t know. I was just thinking about Lion being caged all this time and his final sendoff was having him masturbate for me. It was mostly so I could see how he did it. I know I know how to do it, but who knows better than Lion what feels good to Lion.
As soon as Lion read my post I was trying to figure out how to back pedal. I’ve never masturbated in front of anyone. And my track record the past few times in private wasn’t very good. I could potentially be there all night trying to have an orgasm and not be successful. I knew Lion wasn’t going to let it go. If I hit the X minute mark and decided to stop, he would want me to continue. Or he’d want to do it for me and that was not the point of the exercise.
I used some lube. It wasn’t the lube I wanted to use but I didn’t know where the other one was and I figured it would take a long time to find it. The lube had a warming effect, which I thought would be nice. The warmth didn’t really have an effect one way or the other. Sure it felt good trying but it didn’t feel “turn on” good. Lion started touching me and kissing my neck. I just remember watching him when he masturbated. Somehow having him touch me made it different from masturbating. It wasn’t bad. Just different. And then he turned on music, which from time to time felt like a distraction. Not enough to turn it off. He was trying to help. When he told me to stick my fingers inside me I snapped back to thinking that I know what I’m doing. Obviously I didn’t or I would have been done long before I was.
The clitoris is a sensitive area. Direct contact will get you what you want but too much contact can go anywhere from uncomfortable to electric shock. As it took longer and longer to reach my destination, I decided to hop on the express train. Direct contact it was. And it did the trick. Twice. But it left me sore, which I knew it would. I won’t say I was looking to get it over with, but it was becoming clear that I could have gone on all night without much happening.
It’s worth mentioning that I don’t fantasize about George Clooney or whoever the latest heartthrob is. A long time ago a friend had sex with a guy who kept saying, “Come on, Eddie. Come on, Eddie. Come on, Eddie.” as they were screwing. (There was no second date.) My thoughts are similar though. I imagine getting close and basically egging myself on. Sometimes I think of Lion doing anything for me to make me come. That usually does it.
Last night was just weird. I don’t know if it was being watched or the music or what. Maybe it was just weird because it took so long. I think from now on I’ll have Lion give me any attention I need. The problem with that, of course, is if it’s just not happening he’ll think it’s his fault when it’s not. Sometimes it’s just not happening.
[Lion – Mrs. Lion didn’t take any longer than usual. I think she may be self conscious of the time it takes her to come. In my experience, she is fairly typical of women I have known. A very few have a hair trigger, most were about the same as Mrs. Lion.]
But The Other Guys Do It
Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday announced that she has decided she will masturbate in front of me. It was a big surprise. She’s been uninterested in sex for years. She’s doing it as a way of jump starting her libido. Great idea! It will be very hot watching her playing with her pussy. She’s never masturbated in my presence. In fact, I didn’t think she masturbated at all. I’m sure she told me she didn’t. She explained that this would be a first step to kick start her libido. She also said that I didn’t need the demo, I do a great job already. In any case, this is very good news to me.
I couldn’t help myself (you hear that a lot), I had to ask if that means I can jerk off too. The answer was a predictable “No!” She went on to say that she considered letting me do it in front of her now and then. My ears perked up. Then she said that she didn’t think it was a good idea. I helpfully pointed out that I haven’t done it in nearly four years. She smiled and said, “I know.”
I tried my next best play,
“But the other guys get to do it,” I pleaded.
“Who besides Julie’s husband does?” she calmly responded.
Long pause. “I don’t know.”
“See? The other guys don’t usually get to do it. Why should you?”
I had no answer to that. I looked down at my caged penis sadly. I wasn’t really sad. I never got a big thrill out of jerking off. It was more like taking care of a bodily function for me. It wouldn’t be a giant turn on to have her watch me masturbate. I’d much rather have her provide my sexual release.
In all fairness, I have to say that Julie’s husband isn’t given a chance to wack off as a reward. It’s generally framed as a way to get rid of his erection or a small treat for performing well. When you are driven half mad by participating is sexual activities where everyone else has an orgasm, being allowed to jerk off is like being served a steak dinner. The more desperate the need, the better it feels.
That’s not exactly true, at least for me. When I am massively horny, sporting a rock-solid dripping penis, the odds are that the orgasm will hurt more than be amazingly spectacular. I expect fireworks and the Eighteen-twelve Overture and end up with a stinging eruption of mount Lion. This doesn’t happen that often, but it is generally when I have been waiting a long time and the buildup has been very successful. The next orgasm will be filled with fireworks and loud, triumphant music.
My usual ejaculations are accompanied by music I emit. Since enforced chastity began, my noise level has gone up significantly. As I recall, five years ago the only evidence of my orgasm was the ejaculation making a mess and some heavy breathing from me. Since Mrs. Lion has been my sole provider, I’m a regular sound machine with loud Oh’s and other noises I can’t describe. I’ve wondered if this was subconsciously encouraged evidence of her success; sort of a way to encourage her to give me more. For the record, it doesn’t work.
The only occasionally successful technique I’ve found to turn teasing into orgasm has been what Mrs. Lion calls bucking. I call it humping. In any case, I move my hips to try to wring out more stimulation that will possibly get me relief. Sometimes she synchronizes her hand or mouth movement with my “bucking”. That is amazing. Of course, she’s on to me and removes contact with my penis just before I reach the promised land.
I know she likes it when I get so excited I “buck”. That’s probably why I get those charity orgasms. I don’t care. I’m not proud.
When I was a kid, the “All the other kids have one” argument was much more successful than it is now. Mrs. Lion doesn’t fall for it like my mom and dad did. You can’t shoot a lion for trying.
He Can’t, but I Can
When we first started enforced chastity I had Lion masturbate for me. I knew how to do it, obviously, but I wanted to see how he did it. How fast or slow did he go? What grip did he use? Where did he grip? In hindsight it was very symbolic. It was the last time he was allowed to masturbate. He was saying goodbye to an old friend.
This morning it occurred to me that he’s never seen me masturbate. Not that he needs any help doing it for me, but wouldn’t he benefit from it? Rather than directing him – more to the right, no up a little – I could show him. I know you’re thinking this is all very interesting, Mrs. Lion, but you’re never in the mood for sex. That is true, but it’s also true that Lion can usually awake the sleeping giant if he chooses to. If he can do it why can’t I? I say it’s worth a shot.
I can’t promise when this will happen. We’ve got a lot of chores this weekend. But I know we’ve been talking about getting me back in the saddle, so to speak. We’ll try to make it happen tonight or tomorrow night. And then I’ll let him see if he’s learned anything a few days later. We both may need a few lessons. It’s been a long time since I cared much about sex for me. I don’t know that I’m up for the every-other-day action that Lion is guaranteed, but I think maybe it’s time we made it a priority like we’ve made punishment a priority for Lion.
Lion is a fast learner. He’s eager and attentive. I wonder if my masturbating will turn him on. Probably. He loves when I come. This just might work to “fix” me. Stay tuned.
Turn Up The Music
My last post generated some interesting, thoughtful comments. Thank you.
Much of the conversation revolved around just what our power exchange means. Julie talked about hers as well. I said that I’m not Mrs. Lion’s bitch and that I had the freedom to ask her to suck my cock; to which, Julie replied:
“Hee hee.. you’re her bitch now, mr. lion. The 7 stages of denial?”
This was stated jokingly, but it’s true that in so many ways I am her bitch. I wear a chastity device full time because she likes the feeling of possession she gets by locking up my cock. I am always naked at home unless she panties me. She spanks me when I break a rule. So, yes Julie, you are right. I admit it.
Save the chastity device, Julie’s power exchange is very similar to ours. We call them different things. She considers it BDSM scening. We call it domestic discipline. The reality is that she and Mrs. Lion spank their husbands when they decide they want to or a rule has been broken. David, her husband, and I obey our wives or face painful punishment. Neither of us is dominant with our wives. We both wear panties sometimes. More importantly, we both are professionally independent and function on our own save the times our wives choose to take charge.
In many ways, Julie is far stricter than Mrs. Lion. I believe that we are moving toward the level of intensity that Julie writes about. I’ll probably be both happy and sorry that is happening.
At this point in our power exchange, Mrs. Lion is just starting to experiment with her power. She doesn’t have too much fun with her control. I suspect she is still worried that she will hurt me in some way: physically or emotionally. She appears to have a problem starting the fun. In our case, domination isn’t necessarily a scene that, once started, has to play out to some conclusion.
In my mind, at least, pantying (new word?) me is a scene all by itself. If a spanking is desired, that can happen at any point in time. Similarly, putting a butt plug in can become a routine part of my evening. We’ve talked about stretching me so that she can peg me with various dildos. To do that, I need to get used to anal visitors. There are a lot of other things we’ve discussed but haven’t done.
I think this is because Mrs. Lion is more reactive than proactive. This is a general observation, not just about playing with me. Of course, the problem is that her role as my dominant partner requires her to initiate the action. She is also very concerned about interrupting me or if I’m in the mood for play. I appreciate that her reasoning is that this is all for me and if I’m not in the mood, why waste the time and energy? She doesn’t check in on my mood to punish me. I think play is the same thing.. She is in control. If she feels like plugging my ass, than why care how I feel about it?
The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion hasn’t found a way to have fun with all this. So, if it is all for my fun, I get a lot of control. Why start the merry-go-round if no one is on it?
I’m at a loss understanding how to help Mrs. Lion enjoy things more. There’s nothing wrong with her. It’s got to be me and what I’ve told her about what we do. She loves games. Her favorite free-time activity is playing them on her iPad. Isn’t what we do a game as well? Training me is a pretty tough puzzle. At least I think so. I realize that I can’t be the one to help her solve it.
