Too much sex? Impossible! Well, maybe given my recent captivity that is my not-so-sad situation. Over the last decade, Mrs. Lion has learned to read my not very subtle signals. When I am horny, I tend to “scooch” over on the bed to get closer to her. I may also paw her more than usual. She generally laughs when I do it and teases me about needing something. As I mentioned in an earlier post, my sexual timing is pretty predictable. Around three days after coming, I get restless and clearly horny. Last night I hit that point.
I scooched. Mrs. Lion responded with amazing oral sex. She has committed to being more active in my chastity. I think she is also trying hard to respond to my “needs”. As a result, I am concerned that maybe I am indirectly demanding sex I shouldn’t be getting. Am I calling the shots? What about tease and deny? These questions keep running through my head.
We didn’t start caging me to see how long I could go without squirting. At least I didn’t. I wanted Mrs. Lion to control at least the sexual use of my penis. I want her to decide what satisfaction I get. I also want to play with tease and denial. But that’s what I want. My strongest wish is that I do what she wants.
This sets up a serious dilemma: If I just leave things to her, I am indirectly pressuring her to take full control of a situation she may not feel ready to assume. If I suggest things in my lion-like way, I am topping from the bottom. When we discuss this, she generally responds with, “I will do better,” which suggests that she thinks I am being critical of her lion taming. This is a lose/lose situation.
There is only one way to work our way out of this: we need to keep talking. I need to keep reinforcing how much I appreciate what she is doing for and to me. How even though I may “hate” being so frustrated, having my butt smacked, or being forced to spend my weekend in diapers, I really appreciate that she is doing all this because it is “good for me,” and ultimately, us.
The fact is, she is doing a wonderful job as a beginner. She is learning quickly and I am deeply grateful for her willingness to meet this need. I love Mrs. Lion more every day.
One of the most complained about aspects of forced chastity is the nocturnal discomfort that wakes us up several times a night. This is usually caused by an involuntary erection. The cage makes the attempt to get hard painful enough to wake us from a sound sleep. Over time, the number of times we are awakened tends to go down, but supposedly never disappears entirely.
For some reason, the Chinese cage I am wearing now (waiting for my Jail Bird to arrive) is amazingly comfortable. I am largely unaware that I am caged. The only clue I have is that I don’t feel the pressure of my underwear against my penis. The bars keep it “free” and it is a very pleasant sensation. The cock ring is so comfortable I don’t know it is there. At night, however, if I roll over, one of my balls may end up under my leg since they are forced forward by the cock ring. When that happens I wake up and make a quick adjustment. Erections rarely wake me up. When they do, it isn’t uncomfortable. I think I wake up because I like the feeling.
Today I am at the point where I really feel the need to get off. This seems to happen three or four days after my last stimulation. If Mrs. Lion does nothing tonight, I will be grumpy tomorrow and the next day. If she teases me tonight, I will continue being very horny and possibly grumpy too. I’m not sure, but I think she knows this and will probably arrange to let me “stretch” tonight and stimulate me close to orgasm before returning her toy to its cage. It seems that she still thinks this is cruel. I try to convince her that in one sense it is, but in a much more important sense, it is the whole point of locking me up. Just writing about it is turning me on.
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There aren’t many of us who just want our weenies locked up. All by itself forced chastity is surrender of sexual control; graphically giving our partners full charge of the sexual initiative. At least it appears that way on the surface. In fact, Mrs. Lion expects me to take the initiative with her. There are limits to what I can do, but she really enjoys my finger and my tongue. My penis isn’t needed for me to please her. So in my case being locked up gives her control of when I get sexual release but doesn’t confer on her the obligation to tell me when she wants to be pleased. She also hasn’t said that my chances to get off depend on how good a job I do pleasing here. Too bad. I wish she would. I would like to earn my releases. Since I have been locked up only a month now, things may evolve in that direction.
The important thing is that I not try to direct how my chastity will progress. I have surrendered control and Mrs. Lion has accepted it. She and only she should determine how things will go. Recently, I heard other caged males complain about the lack of “attention” from their keyholders. They firmly believe that the fact that they are locked up creates an obligation on their partner’s part to fulfill their fantasies. That makes no sense to me. I have my fantasies and it would be big fun to live some of them. Others are just too much for real life and are better left in my demented mind. However, I didn’t trade the use of my cock for the realization of some fantasies. I surrendered it to Mrs. Lion and now she owns it and can do with it what she wishes. The attitude that having your partner lock you up entitles you to require her to act out the movie in your head is bound to cause you to fail. She may actually do it for a while, but unless it is actually internalized by her, she will just end up finding it work and will stop.
It’s hard work for me to give up control. I sometimes hint that I am horny…what a shock! Mrs. Lion takes pity on me and gives me release. That’s very sweet of her, but wrong of me to say that. I’m sure that when I say I am horny and she knows she has me locked up that there is a certain amount of guilt. That guilt may drive her to get me off. If I want to be a good boy, I have to just shut up and internalize my need to come. I have to let Mrs. Lion decide in her own way when the time is right for me to squirt. I am resolved to do this. I’m sure I will slip, but I am determined to let her make my forced chastity hers.
You Cum Too Often, Cage Hurts, What’s With The Diapers and more
You Cum Too Much
Hey caged lion, you aren’t really into chastity. Just look at your orgasm log, you cum more than I do and I’m not locked up. I think you aren’t really into chastity.
–Once a week
I’m sorry that you don’t get enough. Forced chastity isn’t necessarily abstinence. A lot of people into forced chastity find them having very little sexual release. Others, like me at least for now, are getting frequent release. Forced chastity is about control. My cage effectively prevents me from getting off. Mrs. Lion, my keyholder, decides when and how I get release. Our agreement says nothing about how often I get to cum. We agreed that I will be locked into my cage 24/7 and that Mrs. Lion will decide when or if my cage comes of and for what purpose.
So far she has given me two sabbaticals from captivity, both to allow sores to heal. Each time she released me she also made me cum. In her words, “You may be a wild lion for now but you aren’t likely to want sex for a while.” She’s right. She blunted the edge of my desire. When she decided I was ready to return to captivity she locked me up again.
The point is that my penis is not under my control. Mrs. Lion owns it. It just happens to be attached to me. She and only she decides when she wants to take it out and play. It’s up to her to take care of her toy in any way she sees fit. I’m very happy that she owns it and that so far she has been quite interested in playing with it. Unlike you, I can’t decide to play with it myself. If I get horny I have to deal with it. I only cum at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. That’s why it’s called chastity.
It hurts to be in my cage
Dear Caged Lion,
I’ve just gotten into being caged. I bought a CB6000S and have been experimenting with different sized cock rings. One of them seems to be the correct fit. I can just get one finger between the ring and my body. The longest I’ve been able to wear it has been for a few hours. The skin under the ring gets very sore and red. I just can’t keep it on.
This soreness is not unusual with a new device or just taking up chastity. As you go about your daily activity, your body flexes down there. The plastic ring on the CB6000 is pretty “grippy”; there is considerable friction between the ring and your body. As a result, your normal movements force the ring to overcome the friction and irritate you. Some people use lube under the ring. That will temporarily alleviate the friction. Others try larger rings. That sometimes helps, but of course reduces security. In my case, when I started out with a steel device, I had a 2″ ring. After an hour or two one of my balls would escape. I moved down to a 1 7/8″ ring. That stopped the escape, but I could still get two fingers under it. Finally, I went to a 1 3/4″ ring. It was pretty uncomfortable for a few days. I got quite red and hurt. Mrs. Lion had to give me a 24 hour rest. Eventually, it stopped bothering me at all as my body learned to live with the cage.
I suggest you consider going from the plastic to stainless steel. There are inexpensive cages available from China that can provide a pretty good fit. Be sure to measure carefully. See our measurement page for instructions on how to find your size. You can find the best prices and assortment on dhgate.com. Expect to wait three to four weeks for your cage. If you are in a hurry, amazon.com and ebay both list devices. In the meantime, try going up a ring size or two on the CB6000. You might also try pulling your scrotum skin back toward your body so there is a lot of loose skin between the ring and your abdomen. Some find this helpful. Lube isn’t really going to work long term. Also, take off the device and give yourself some time to heal. Good luck!
Must I wear diapers?
Dear Caged Lion,
I enjoy your blog, but there is something I don’t understand. What do diapers have to do with chastity? Are you saying that in addition to being caged I should also expect to wear diapers?
Diapers have nothing at all to do with chastity. Years ago Mrs. Lion and I were experimenting with topping and bottoming (she was/is the top). One idea I had was to make me wear a diaper. At the time I figured that being made to wear diapers was a very clear signal of my submission. I wasn’t interested in being an adult baby. That just isn’t my thing. There was definitely a feeling of helplessness when I had to sit in a wet or dirty diaper until Mrs. Lion allowed me to change. All in all, neither of us really enjoyed it and we soon dropped that form of play.
When I asked Mrs. Lion how she felt about locking me up, she agreed because she knew I wanted it. She knew that I really missed bottoming. In fact, she said that she was considering putting me in diapers again since she knows that makes me feel submissive. I didn’t comment. I really prefer using the toilet. Shortly after locking me up she told me that she wanted me to wear a diaper from after work Friday until I got dressed for work on Monday. She said that I only had to pee in my diaper. I could use the toilet to poop. That was a relief. Of course I agreed.
After a month of weekend diaper service, I can say that it still isn’t fun for me. I don’t really like to pee myself. However, having to wear them does, in fact, make me feel more submissive to her. Last night after discarding a wet diaper, I forgot to put on a new one. That earned me some swats with a very painful paddle. This amazed me. It’s been years and years since Mrs. Lion disciplined me. My butt hurt but my heart soared. That was just what I needed.
The key reason the diapers are going along with my chastity is that she knows I want to be locked up. She also knows that I would rather not pee myself. Both the chastity and the diapers to me are expressions of her control, but the diapers are her idea, not mine. That by itself is enough to give me the sense of submission I so badly wanted.
So, no I am not advocating diaper wearing as part of your chastity. It’s part of mine because it works for us.
My husband wants me to lock him up
Dear Caged Lion,
Your blog is great. Your section for keyholders helped me understand just what my husband wants. I was surprised and a little upset when he told me that he wanted me to lock up his cock. I thought he didn’t want to have sex with me. Now that I know more we have been talking about locking his cock. I now understand what he wants, but I am not sure I can do everything he says he needs. He wants me to control him and tell him what to do. He says that if I don’t please him, I should keep him locked up longer and not orgasm until I think he is being good. I’m a busy woman and I don’t have the time to be his nanny. I want my husband to be the man of the house. I am fine with controlling his sex life, but I don’t want to be his mommy.
–Not his mommy
It sounds like your husband wants more than forced chastity. This isn’t unusual. I have fantasies that go far beyond our current activities. I think that is natural. However, he needs to understand that he is turning control over to you. That means he shouldn’t expect to create the scenarios that you do with him. He wants you to take charge. So do so. Tell him that you are okay about locking him up and controlling when he gets to orgasm. Ask him if he understands that you, not he will decide what else you control. You may expect him to be sexually aggressive and work hard to keep you satisfied. You may tell him that you want him to do more around the house. However, you don’t want to punish him. He has to be in charge of his own life. You might also let him know that if he is a good boy and makes you very happy, you might reward him by taking him out of his cage for some fun.
The key is to clearly communicate what you want and what you are willing to do. Ask him if he still wants to be caged. If he says yes, then lock him up and do things your way.
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