I Will Get Through This
Here it is after midnight. I’m still not sleepy. As Mrs. Lion reported, the doctor gave me a new sleeping medicine. I tried it on Monday night and I felt horrible and still didn’t get any real sleep. Our doctor assures me that this is temporary, but then so is life. It’s a question of how much of this I can take. I don’t have any choice, so I will do my best.
If you’ve been following our adventures for any length of time, you know I am far from graceful in my submission. If I weren’t recovering from surgery, my bottom would be burning nearly every night. It’s not that I’m defiant; I’m forgetful. I’m independent by nature and fail to put my rules front and center. I am hoping as 2.0 returns, my desire to avoid pain will help me readjust my priorities.
{6 hours later}
I got sleepy starting the post at about 1 AM. So, I went to bed and actually fell asleep until 5 AM; had to pee. I went back to sleep for another hour. This is the first time I got any significant sleep in over a month. I guess I found the right combo of drugs. I can’t wait until I can sleep without pharmaceutical help.
I’m happy to report that our blog is whole again. All 2,200 posts are back as well as our pages. Most are missing their images. I will work on restoring them over time. All show me as the author. When the restoration was performed, an author was needed, so the technicians used my name. Since it’s clear who is writing by what is said, I’m not sure I want to go through all those posts to fix that.
Everything happens at once, apparently. I’m hoping that my recovery continues and my life gets a bit easier. It’s nice that I am producing semen again. I’m surprised by how much it hit me when I had dry orgasms. I’m not sure if it’s ego or just fear of change. This is a tough time for me. I’ve suffered worse. One thing I know for sure: Mrs. Lion and I will get through this and our love will grow stronger from the trial.
Lion Insomnia
Yesterday Lion and I both went to our family doctor. I found out that my health is improving thanks to cutting out a lot of the junk I was eating. Lion found out that anesthesia can have a much longer effect than he thought. He got another medication to help him sleep and off we went.
When we snuggled, Lion was in some pain but he was willing to give things a try. He suggested he might need more heavy duty stimulation than just my hand. I assume he meant the Magic Wand but I asked if we could give my mouth a shot first. What could it hurt? And it certainly didn’t hurt. My weenie came to life.
I edged him a few times. I told him I wasn’t giving in that easily. He didn’t mind at all. Eventually took him over the edge. I was rewarded with about the same amount of creme filling I got pre-surgery. Not a huge amount, but a decent amount. I was happy to get it. Lion was happy I got it. He kept saying it meant he wasn’t broken. I never thought he was, but I know he was worried.
Lion took one of the new pills the doctor gave him and said, if the doctor was to be believed, he should be asleep in a half hour. Sort of. He was snoozing. Unfortunately it wasn’t the deep sleep he needed. He was still in pain and not able to find a comfortable position even if he could sleep. Needless to say, I wasn’t sleeping soundly either. Then the dog had a seizure which woke me up the rest of the way.
Last night was the equivalent of Lion’s first few days after surgery in terms of pain and difficulty sleeping. I can understand why people with chronic insomnia can sometimes overdose on sleeping pills. One doesn’t work. Let’s try two. Nope. Let’s add this other drug into the mix. Nope. How about this one? Nope. And at some point they hit the combination that let’s them sleep, but then they can’t wake up. I’m not saying Lion would ever do that. He’s very good at managing what pills can and can’t be taken together. I’m just saying I understand the need to try anything to get to sleep when you’re pushed to the limit.
I don’t know what the answer is, but Lion needs a good night’s sleep. Actually he needs a string of good night’s sleeps. Lack of sleep isn’t helping his recovery at all.
Use It Or Lose It
There’s a commonly held belief that if you don’t have frequent orgasms, you will lose your desire to have them at all. For people living alone, that suggests regular masturbation is needed to keep the machine running. I always subscribed to that theory. But then, what does it mean to be locked in male chastity. Are forced waits diminishing the male’s capacity for sex?
According to Web MD, male loss of libido is far less frequent than it is for women:
“Losing interest in sex may not be as common an occurrence for men as it is for women: It affects about 15% to 16% of men, and at least double that many women. “But when men lose interest in sex it scares them more than women — their masculinity is so linked to their sexuality that it is very threatening,” says Esther Perel, a couples therapist in New York city and author of Mating in Captivity.”
Apparently the fear of loss of libido is the most serious issue. According to the article, enforced withholding of orgasm is not a cause. That surprised me. My long-held belief about use it or lose it, has no real basis in science. That’s really good news to guys who have long waits between orgasms. Any concern of mine has to be rooted in psychological and physical issues created by my surgery. Like typical males, this disturbance in my sexual force field is causing me considerable concern.
It doesn’t help to say, “Don’t worry. It will pass.” When Mrs. Lion attempts to arouse me and nothing happens, I get very worried. That’s been happening a lot lately. Fortunately, there are days when my penis responds. But the number of those days is very small compared to my pre-surgical interest. It could be that my anxiety is exacerbating my loss of erection. Whatever the cause, my current state make my chastity device irrelevant.
Fortunately, I can get aroused after several days wait and a lot of concentration. A boner pill or application of the Magic Wand can reliably get me hard at any time Mrs. Lion wants. My lack of semen production does nothing to cheer me up. Maybe it’s time to lock her weenie up and throw away the key for a while. At least then I won’t have to think about my current problem. After all, I can’t get hard if that’s on. Maybe this is a new use of enforced chastity: allowing me to believe there is no problem since I am physically unable to get hard on my own.
I’ll rely on Mrs. Lion to help me. She, after all, controls all sexual access. I’m not copping out. I just don’t know what else I can do. After all, I’m not allowed to stimulate myself. Self-therapy is not allowed.
Change Of Venue
It’s been very sunny around here lately. That’s a welcome change. It makes me think of summer and traveling. We only have three trips planned this summer. Normally we’d be gone almost every other weekend. We backed off this year because of Lion’s job. He’ll be traveling enough without going camping. The thing is, right now, a camping trip seems to be something that would signal more normalcy.
I was thinking about it yesterday and into today. Lion won’t be able to do most of the things he normally does to set the camper up once we get to our destination, but the act of camping would still be a normal summer thing we do. Maybe that’s why I half-jokingly suggested we set up the lawn chairs near the camper in the yard to sit in the sun. It’s just a change of venue.
For whatever reason, I did much better with the long list of tasks I had to do this weekend. We went shopping both days and I wasn’t overwhelmed at all with putting things away and cleaning up. I even managed to put away things leftover from previous shopping trips. Yes, the house has gotten fairly cluttered. I decided to chip away at it yesterday.
Last night I made sure the iPad was away for most of the night. Lion and I snuggled for a bit. I massaged my weenie and balls. It’s not that I didn’t expect a sexual response from Lion, but I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t get one. He moaned and said it felt good. That’s really all that mattered to me. I knew he was tired, in some pain, and his tummy was off. That’s a triple play that suggests no fun will be had. He’s also worried we won’t get back to our pre-surgery sex life. Worry never bodes well for excitement.
I’m not giving up though. Tonight we’ll snuggle again. If something happens, it happens. If not, we’ll try again the next night. Rinse and repeat. As long as I’m not bothering Lion with all my snuggling and fondling, I’ll keep at it.
