Waiting For Ejaculation
My libido appears to have returned. Monday night after Mrs. Lion fell asleep, my imagination was running wild and Mrs. Lion’s weenie was at attention. That is a very rare occurrence. Too bad I’m not allowed to jerk off. I sure wanted to do it. I have no idea what made last night different, but I like it, especially when I’m not caged.
Speaking of cages, I’ve been buying and trying them for years. One and only one has proven to be comfortable enough for me to wear 24/7 for years on end. That’s the Mature Metal Jailbird. It’s an open cage design. That makes it appear less secure than the models that fully enclose the penis, but don’t be fooled, it is pretty good.
I don’t consider security a major requirement of a male chastity device. It just has to be secure enough to take a dedicated, probably-painful effort to get it off. The key security requirement is that erection and orgasm are prevented by the device. The Jail Bird is very effective. In over three years of wearing the device, I can attest to that.
Right now I am cage free as I heal from my shoulder injury. I don’t expect to be this way much longer. I really like being wild. Monday night’s erection felt very good. That may sound odd, but in almost 3 1/2 years the only times I could experience a full erection were the times Mrs. Lion unlocked me for teasing. That’s the point of enforced male chastity.
When I was unlocked prior to my shoulder surgery, I worried that an extended period of being allowed to be wild would cause us to forget the positive sexual changes we made as a result of me being caged. I’m very happy to report that didn’t happen. Mrs. Lion still snuggles with me and plays with my penis. She hasn’t teased me. So far, every time she turns me on, she eventually lets me come. That’s really nice.
She has a reason for all these orgasms: I’ve stopped providing semen. It’s very unclear to me why this has happened. Mrs. Lion thinks it’s a medication (opiods), but I’ve stopped taking them. This lack of product doesn’t change the pleasure I get from coming. It feels to me like something is coming out. I trust my lioness. If she feels frequent orgasms will help the return of semen, I’m on board. I wonder if the return of the Jail Bird is based on semen production.
So I wait. Even with the campaign to get me to produce semen, I am under orgasm control. With or without the chastity device, the rules are in full force. I can not sexually touch her weenie at any time. Only she may provide sexual stimulation. Fortunately, she is providing a lot.
Zapardy!
Today is my first day back to work full time since Lion’s surgery. I probably could have gotten away with leaving him alone for a longer period of time last week, but he still wasn’t really able to do a lot. I figured if he felt well enough to go back to work this week then he’s well enough to take care of himself. For the most part, he’ll be working from home so it should be fairly easy on him.
We’re slowing easing our way back into normalcy. I swatted him for the first time in a long time the other night. Last night we were going to play Zapardy, but I was in some pain from mowing the lawn so we pushed that off till tonight. So far I haven’t made him wait for an orgasm. I edge him a few times and then let him come. Once I get to yummy creme filling, I’ll make him wait a while between orgasms.
I’m sure he wants to jump right back into things full speed. That’s the Lion way. I’d rather do things slower. Why rush? I know he’s worried we’ll lose what it took all those years to gain if we wait too long. He just needs to trust me. We’ll get there.
He’s right in one respect. I did take it easy on him when I swatted him. I probably could have hit longer or harder. And I even gave him a pass last night when he was worried about getting something on his shirt at dinner. It was such a nice night and I wanted him to enjoy sitting on the deck, eating our “picnic”. It turns out he didn’t spill anything anyway.
Tonight we’ll play Zapardy. I have to figure out a reward for him. It’s been so long since we’ve played, I can’t remember if I’m supposed to reward him for each correct answer, or just for getting more correct than incorrect. It’s hard enough for me to come up with one reward, let alone a bunch of smaller rewards. And I don’t even know what he considers a reward. He won’t use any of his coupon rewards I’ve given him. Oh well. We’ll figure it out.
Suspenders
I’ve gone through a fairly large number of changes as we’ve adopted enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Sunday’s spanking is strong evidence I have a way to go.
The newest change has nothing to do with either kink. I’ve had to switch from wearing a belt to suspenders. Over the years I’ve acquired a belly. It’s shrinking, but it’s there nonetheless. I have narrow hips and no ass. That means when I wear a belt, my pants slide down my belly to my hips, and sometimes off completely. Tightening the belt works, but it is uncomfortable and I look silly with my belly accented.
Mrs. Lion suggested I try suspenders. Suspenders? Me? I don’t see myself wearing them. In my mind suspenders make a man look like a hillbilly or pensioner. I’m neither. Jed Clampet wore suspenders, not Mr. Cool Lion. It’s public humiliation. The thing is that they work. I ordered a pair from Amazon. They came with a catalog that contained advice about wearing them. The little book said that a man with narrow hips and no butt should never even try to wear a belt. That’s me. If I lose all the excess weight, 40 lb., the belly will be gone and maybe I can return to a belt. In the meantime, I will walk around with a look I truly hate.
I know that many other male chastity blogs are written by people with great, athletic bodies. I imagine that many of our readers see us that way. I like that. But then, along came the suspenders. They are a public admission of sorts. They say that my body won’t work with the belt I have always worn. I’m different. People picture bloggers based on their writing. I have prided myself on honesty. We have been fantasy-free from the start. But I haven’t revealed much about my physical self.
What about showing more of myself: revealing the imperfect body that has to wear suspenders? I am uncomfortable with this idea. I suspect that women seeing it will find me unappealing. I, of course, have Mrs. Lion so it isn’t important whether or not anyone else thinks I am sexually attractive. But my ego wants to believe I am still appealing, at least to some.
I’ve exposed my flaccid penis to you. There’s no real risk doing that. Penises look pretty much alike and reveal little about the bodies holding them. Besides, I like the way mine looks. Showing my body, on the other hand, is so much more difficult. I took a nude self portrait. It unflatteringly reveals my belly. I considered sharing it, but it benefits no one, least of all me. I shouldn’t say that. I did benefit. It reminds me why I need to keep losing weight.
Nope
The other day, Lion asked me to read a blog. I don’t really like reading other blogs or articles. They make me feel like I’m missing something. Other women seem to enjoy causing their men pain. Some think it’s fun to make a butt black and blue. It’s amusing when he can’t sit without wincing. They like to torture his penis and not allow an orgasm for months. And many men seem to enjoy being on the receiving end of such harsh treatment. I don’t get it.
It’s true, at times I seem to have evolved to 2.0 who enjoys similar things. She likes to catch Lion making a mistake. A quick little, “Uh oh” or “Ha ha” and she knows she can break out a paddle for some swats. But when it’s just me, not even 1.0, after all these years I still don’t get it. I mean, I’m not stupid. I understand there’s a connection between pain and pleasure. I’ve had sex that hurt, but at the same time it felt so good I didn’t want it to stop. But no one was pinching my nipples or swatting my butt.
So when I read a blog that talks about doling out a severe spanking and caning, then diapering, and humiliation shared with other people, I really think I’m missing the boat. Granted, the story was sold as semi-fiction. Perhaps the pictures included had been Photo Shopped. And Lion asks what I think of it. Well, “just me” thinks it’s all too much. Why spanking and caning and diapering and humiliation? And why share this with other people? I know the blogger likes to embellish to turn people on. I am not one of those people. 1.0 still thinks it’s too much. 2.0 may have been reaching for a paddle in the beginning of the story, but quickly put it down once the caning started. And that’s okay. I don’t have to like it, in any of my alter egos.
I think what the post did was make me feel like a prude. That’s an odd thing to say given all the things I’ve done to Lion. I just can’t imagine giving Lion such a severe spanking that he bruises instantly. I can’t imagine wanting to punish him that much. And what could he possible do that would make me want to cane him after a severe spanking? I can imagine diapers as punishment. Certainly not after a spanking/caning with open wounds on his skin. And I would not make him use the diaper solely. I think I would find it humiliating to clean up a messy, pooed diaper. Maybe, just maybe, I could be persuaded to change a peed diaper.
But the biggest thing that has me feeling like a prude is involving other people. I don’t care if it was someone we met at Kinkfest or some other meeting like that, and they were like-minded, I would not want anyone involved in our sex life. Yes, I am aware I’ve rallied for a threesome with another man before, but 1) that was a fantasy in my younger days, and 2) Lion really, really hates the idea. There is just no way I’d ask a neighbor, a friend, a relative, or a stranger to come into our home and watch me spank Lion. Or worse yet, participate in spanking Lion. Nope. Not happening.
In the end, that was my answer to Lion. It’s all too much.
