Poor Mrs. Lion is still under the weather. She keeps worrying about my sexual happiness. I need her to feel better more than I need teasing or an orgasm. As she wrote in her post yesterday, I am cage free until my Jail Bird comes back from Mature Metal. I have to admit that being cage free feels odd to me. After almost a year of full-time wear, I am very used to it. It feels a bit like walking around without my wedding ring.

It may sound strange, but what started out as a kink I wanted to try has turned into something that has vastly improved our relationship. As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday, we both approached enforced male chastity as a power exchange game in which I temporarily relinquished sexual control to Mrs. Lion. Over the years we have tried other top/bottom games. Mrs. Lion has spanked me, tied me up, and inserted various objects in my butt. She has also tied up my cock and balls and applied Icy Hot, clothespins, and velcro to sensitive spots. In fact, she still does.

She approached locking me up as a similar game that supported my need for power exchange. She has always approached these things as puzzling ways to make me happy. She’s never understood them, but has done them because she knows I want the play.

When I approached her about enforced male chastity she wasn’t very surprised. I could see the  inward eye-roll as I told her what I wanted her to do. As with the other things I have requested, she agreed. S0 for the first few months she indulged my kink purely out of love for me.

Slowly, almost too slow to notice, things started to change. Being locked in a chastity device stopped being sexually exciting fun. Instead, it became part of me. Much of the time I forgot it was even there. I stopped thinking about masturbating and completely accepted that any sexual pleasure would come from Mrs. Lion on her terms.

She changed too. She came to understand that my sexual helplessness imposed a responsibility on her. She realized that she truly owned any sexual pleasure I might have. Before being caged, she didn’t really think about that part of me. As our sex life diminished, she wasn’t consciously aware that I was missing the sexual pleasure we shared. We never stopped loving each other and remained best friends totally committed to each other. But the sex virtually stopped.

Once I was locked up, she was forced to consider my sexual health. She knew I was incapable of as little as an erection without her taking action; unlocking me. She also thought about the fact that we were both missing the fun we had earlier in our relationship.

We had the blog and both of us read as well as wrote posts here. Mrs. Lion committed to regular teasing and orgasms for me. She set up an every-other-day schedule for teasing. Later, she announced orgasm dates for me. Over time, the teasing included anal and other play as well. I was having an active sex life again! Even with the fact that my orgasms are not terribly frequent, I have had more in the last year than in the preceding five. I’ve had more play than in the last ten.

Most recently, Mrs. Lion decided that it wasn’t fair to deprive me of her orgasms. She loves to make me come and she knows  I feel the same way about giving orgasms to her. So now she schedules her orgasms the same way she schedules mine. We both hope that frequent orgasms for her will reawaken her libido.

You could argue that we could have made all this progress without enforced male chastity. Maybe so. But we didn’t. That cage locking up my penis made us both continuously aware that my ability to enjoy sex is owned by my lioness. So even if she doesn’t need to think about her sexual pleasure, she has to consider mine.

The Jail Bird is a steel marriage counselor. It facilitates positive changes for us every day. Would this work for others? I think it will; maybe not for everyone, but for people who, like us, lost that sexual spark. It’s ironic that by denying sexual access, the device has actually revitalized our sex lives. Pretty cool!

Lion’s cage is on its way to Mature Metal. I dropped it off at the post office this morning. That means I have a cageless Lion on the loose. I think he’ll enjoy the freedom, especially when it comes to peeing standing up without fear of spraying everywhere. Sometimes it’s the little things that mean the most. I was thinking this morning that his freedom and subsequent better fitting cage is sort of a chastity anniversary present. A year ago he was a wild Lion and then I locked him in the Jail Bird. Now he is a wild Lion until his Jail Bird comes back when I will lock him up again. I think the timing is sort of perfect.

I wish I could say I feel like playing with his wildness, but my headache and related foggy feeling are hanging on longer than usual. I thought I would be fine by last night. I just had a headache which, as I said yesterday, never kept me from giving or receiving sex. As the day wore on, however, things started going south again. My Lion was very understanding. He just wants me to get better. He takes such good care of me and I am grateful to him. I am determined to feel better tonight. Even if I don’t feel well enough for my own orgasm, I owe Lion some play time.

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You’re probably tired of hearing us go on and on about our upcoming anniversary. I never imagined it would go this long when we first started. I thought it was just another one of Lion’s phases like wearing diapers. I figured he would get tired of it after a while. Now the cage is part of him. Other than some sore spots here and there the longest he’s been out of the cage is when he sends it back to have it resized. I know I’m not wearing it, but it has made a tremendous difference in my life too. Poor Mr. Weenie is helpless in his cage unless I rescue him and play with him. Lion has gotten more attention in the past year than he got in the previous three years. I still feel bad about that, but I am trying to make up for neglecting him.

I’m glad Lion felt brave enough to introduce enforced male chastity into our lives. It’s definitely brought us closer together. I’m happy that after all these years we still love each other more and more each day. Caging Lion was similar to a renewal of our wedding vows. It is absolutely something to celebrate!

Sadly, Mrs. Lion is still under the weather. She said she is feeling a bit better, but still not feeling very well. That’s no problem. We can wait for her orgasm and my teasing when she feels better. She removed my cage tonight. I am a wild lion. It’s now packed up to go into the mail tomorrow morning for resizing the base ring. Mature Metal has superb service. They usually turn around resizing work in a few days and always at a reasonable price. They are unbeatable for quality and service.

I have a little concern about this change. With the current 1 3/4-inch ring, it is so comfortable I completely forget I am wearing a chastity device. However, I do know the base ring is large. I can get my thumb between it and my soft penis. I think I can probably wear  a 1 1/2-inch ring comfortably, but I am not confident. So, I decided to hedge my bet with a 1 5/8-inch ring. I got cold paws about changing the existing ring since it feels so good to wear. So, I asked MM to make me a new 1 5/8-inch ring as well as a 1 1/2-inch ring. That way I will have the old ring and two new, smaller ones.

Of all measurements for a chastity device fitting,  the base ring diameter is the most difficult to get right. That’s why I recommend that before ordering the first device, you should test different sizes. You can get a set of measuring rings from Mature Metal for only $20. They will let you see what it feels like to live with a given size. I had ordered several inexpensive devices with an assortment of base rings. The 1 3/4-inch ring fit best. That’s why when I ordered the Jail Bird, I selected the 1 3/4-inch base ring. I waited a year before making the decision to change sizes.

How do you know you have the right size, or more importantly how do you know if you have the wrong size? The obvious answer you often read is that if your balls change color, particularly turn blue, you have a ring that is too small. Well, that’s a little like saying that you will know if your necktie is too tight if you suffocate. It’s way more subtle than that. You know a ring is too large if a ball escapes on its own. Most experienced chastity folks say that a ring is correctly sized if you can get your pinky between the ring and your body and nothing else. That may be a good indication.

The simple truth is that you just can’t tell for sure. Also, as I have discovered, my body has made a small change in the way my scrotum fits. It seems to have narrowed where the ring sits. Others have observed this too. It’s not a big change, but enough to make the original ring a bit loose.

If you, like me, wear your device 24/7, good fit isn’t enough. It has to be a perfect fit so it is comfortable and reasonably secure. Remember, no captive ball device is totally secure. No matter how tight the base ring, it can be escaped with enough work and a high tolerance for pain. It’s like my wedding ring. I can take it off, but I don’t want it so loose it can fall off. Security to me is knowing that it would be a lot of work to get out and probably impossible to get back in.

So how far should you go in terms of a tight base ring? This is the subject of endless online forum posts. I like the only-your-pinky-should-fit-between-the-ring-and-your-body rule. But the absolutely most important rule is that you can wear the ring and the device comfortably without doing anything, like using lube, to make it wearable. You should be able to forget it is there. Attempting to get hard should not hurt at all. You should never be awakened by an erection.

If you have decided that you want to be caged full time, then you have to treat the purchase of a chastity device as a very serious endeavor. Expect to spend the money for a custom device and expect to spend a little more on adjustments and alternate rings. Remember, that device is always attached to you. It only comes off when your keyholder wants to play with you or you have a life situation that requires it off. Over the last year it has been on me more than 99% of the time, or  361 days in the last 365. Isn’t it work the time, effort, and cost to make things comfortable?

 

As you’ve read in Lion’s post this morning, our plans last night were sabotaged by a headache. Unlike the cliche I don’t normally let a headache get in the way of sex for either of us. This, however, was a migraine. I’ll spare you specifics, but my migraines don’t start out with pain. It’s the flashes of light and other assorted weirdness that stop me in my tracks. Once the fireworks are done, then the pain starts and I can deal with that. Unfortunately by the time the pain set in it was time for bed. But, as Lion said, tomorrow is another day. Assuming I don’t have a rebound migraine today we should be on tonight.

Lion will be sending his cage in for adjustment on Friday. At this point I’ve decided to allow him to be wild until it comes back. Maybe it was the migraine talking last night; maybe it was the fact that I hate wrestling with the Chinese cage. He pretended to be very excited about being wild and I reminded him that I could make him wear the panties while we wait for the cage to be returned. I know he’s not really excited and he knows I wouldn’t really make him wear the panties for any length of time. At this point there’s no real reason for him to be caged. I trust him not to masturbate. I trust him not to cheat. The cage is a symbol. Its absence for a week will not change anything.

That said, I may play with him more while he’s wild. Maybe it will tie up his cock and balls so they don’t forget what the cage feels like. I may fashion a cage of velcro. There are quite a few possibilities. He may wish he never sent the cage back to be resized. But we know Lion. He’ll be happy for the bondage and attention, even if it does involve velcro.

Lion mentioned the other day that I found wedding bands that have a lock for him and a key for me. He’s concerned about wearing it at work. I do agree with a reader’s comment that he could explain away any questions by saying that I hold the key to his heart. It’s not untrue. Another possibility might be just a simple turn of the ring so that the lock is hidden from view and doesn’t bring attention to it. It hasn’t been vetoed but we’re still trying to figure out the best way to mark our one year chastity anniversary. I’m sure Lion thinks an orgasm for him would be a great idea. And a spanking. And bondage. And I’m sure he’ll get at least some of that. But I think we should have some way of celebrating the milestone that isn’t “just” sex. We’ll figure it out.