Adjustments
The other day Lion said maybe his cock ring was too big. How is that possible? It’s metal. It didn’t get any bigger and he certainly hasn’t gotten smaller. He said he figures it needs to be an eighth of an inch smaller. Now an eighth of an inch is not that much. Does it really need to be smaller? Can’t he live with it? I’m thinking back to when we had the cage itself shortened. Once he got it back he thought it was too short. Finally he decided it was correct.
Last night he said he could no longer pee standing up. He wasn’t centered in the cage even though I had made sure he was centered when I put it on him Friday night. And he made it all day Saturday without issue. Suddenly it was not centered. How is that possible? Did his cock suddenly gain the ability to wiggle itself off center? I removed the screw and repositioned him to be centered. This morning he was peeing sitting down again. What the heck?
To fix the ring is a small fee and Lion has suggested getting a second one made. I assume that means having a smaller one made so we would have the original size and one that is an eighth of an inch smaller. But it would also mean not having the Jail Bird while the ring is done. Back to the Chinese cage. My first thought with the Chinese cage is that I hate putting it on him so much that I will just refuse to take it off him. This means an extended wait for him which would be fine if I could just leave him in it. But he needs to be teased every few days. Obviously the cage has to come off to accomplish that so I still have to fumble with locking him back up.
Part of me knows that Lion is never 100% satisfied. I don’t think the cage and ring will ever be perfect for him. I’m not sure why that is but it happens in the rest of our lives too. He can be happy with the way something turned out but next time he just knows he can do it better. Another part of me knows that Lion was at day five and that far into the wait time is when Grumbly Lion comes out. So is the ring really too big or is it just a reason to grumble? Is he really off center or is he looking for something to grumble about? I don’t know. It could be purely coincidental. We were both very sleep deprived and his allergies were very bad. Either one of those could cause grumbles.
I do know I need to do some manscaping today and he’ll definitely be getting attention above and beyond the shaver. I’m hoping that cures some of the grumbling.
Hobby or Lifestyle
For me at least, introducing forced male chastity into our marriage was a chance to live a fantasy I have had for a long time. I thought of it the same way I thought about bondage, spanking, cock and ball play, and other power exchange activities; as something that is fun to do . All those other activities fit nicely into one- or two-hour play sessions. I realized that chastity requires a longer time frame to be meaningful.
So, even from the start, I recognized that trying out male chastity would mean a commitment of weeks or months. After all, the entire point of forced male chastity is to withhold sex for the male even though he badly wants an orgasm. At its root, the experience is about preventing erection and sexual release for the male. Any guy can go for days without getting off without feeling his sexual satisfaction is really controlled by someone else. In fact, I think the vast majority of couples that play with male chastity do it for very short intervals, maybe just a weekend, as a spice to add to their sex lives.
Most of our readers, I imagine, want more than just a weekend of lockup. I, for one, didn’t set any end to the game at all. I figured that Mrs. Lion and I would see how caging me would affect our sex life and the power exchange that I have wanted. After four months it became clear to both of us that there were real benefits in keeping me caged. Our sex life improved and so did communication on other things as well. We decided to continue long term. We agreed that just saying this would be permanent would make it too easy to abandon. After all, forever is a very long time to agree to pursue something like this. So, we decided to continue, no excuses, until March 2016 at which time we would decide whether to continue for another period.
Now that we are in this long term, we have to consider how we have integrated chastity into our lives. The first issue developed when I had doctor visits where I had to undress. I was unlocked for several days to accommodate this. The decision to do this was a bit difficult for me. After all, I agreed to 24/7 lockup only to be released for hygiene or sexual activity Mrs. Lion wished to have with me. A couple of weeks ago Mrs. Lion unlocked me over the weekend we were traveling in our trailer. Peeing, in the RV bathroom was messy. I sprayed a lot in the small space and the shape of the toilet made sitting down a shower for my balls. Nothing like getting up in the middle of the night to pee, half asleep, and then having to deal with pee-covered balls. You get the idea. Also, hours-long drives required me to make frequent adjustments to keep my cage comfortable. So Mrs. Lion decided I could be wild during our trips.
This is the sort of sensible accommodations needed to make my chastity permanent. It is also very encouraging because rather than just abandoning the cage, we worked around the issues. Mrs. Lion also introduced “love coupons” into our chastity activities. She gave me coupons good for an orgasm of my choice whenever I use the coupon, or a day of being wild, etc. We wrestled with how to handle an orgasm coupon; does my scheduled orgasm wait continue or should the clock start again after I use the coupon? I suggested the clock should restart (I love her control!).
What we are learning is that the strict, never-get-out-of-the-cage approach to chastity is problematic over the long run. While it may be fun to sometimes extend waits, or require me to stay locked for weeks without coming out, as a general practice this sort of stuff wouldn’t work for us over the long term.
If chastity is a hobby or weekend activity, little thought is needed to make it work. Over a relatively short term, extreme behavior and activities can be fun. I like pain as part of play, but if I had to hurt all the time for the rest of my life, I would be very unhappy. Mrs. Lion and I have decided that we want to continue our male chastity indefinitely. We have a check point in about a year and a half, but our intention right now is that we will decide to continue. This changes the way we look at things. What we do has to be able to work for each of us for a very long time.
If you are new to male chastity, you shouldn’t even think about making it permanent. Agree to a reasonable period of time; a month is long enough to see how it affects your lives. At the end of that time you can decide whether or not to continue. It’s entirely too easy to get caught up in the excitement of living a fantasy.
Back to the Drawing Board
![tired lioness](https://media.malechastityjournal.com/wp-content/uploads2014/08/tiredlioness-300x225.jpg)
Ordinarily when I go a little too far and ruin Lion’s orgasm, I’m upset. For some reason last night it didn’t bother me. Maybe because I’ve been getting him closer and closer to the edge lately. Recently he’s started squirming more when I edge him. He really seems like he’s struggling. I kind of like it. Plus, with the ruined orgasm and subsequent ejaculate, Lion and I shared a snack. Not his favorite, of course.
He is still on track to have an orgasm on Thursday. We hit a bit of a rough patch with rewards and punishment this week. I don’t understand it. But, as I’ve learned in the past few months, I don’t have to understand it to do it. I do wish I could get some sort of handle on it, however. Sometimes it’s exhausting to think up things only to have it be for naught. Those are the times it would be easier to give up, but here I am battling back. Lion made the coupons so we’ll try them. I’ll do my best to come up with punishments and/or reasons to add days to his next wait, and rewards and/or reasons to shorten it.
There are times it feels like owning a caged Lion is a full time job. No wonder I’m always so tired!
Rewards And Punishments
![Naughty lion coupon sets my punishment.](https://media.malechastityjournal.com/wp-content/uploads2014/08/coupon-naughty-lion-300x214.jpg)
Yesterday, Mrs. Lion and I exchanged posts about me asking Mrs. Lion not to give me days off my wait time because I did work around the house. She was annoyed that I was topping from the bottom by asking not to get the reward. One reason was that at the time I wasn’t feeling that horny and I liked the idea of waiting until next Thursday.
I thought about it further and realized that Mrs. Lion can extend or shorten my time at will. So if she decides to reward me with less time, she is just exercising her right to change things. On the other hand, if she gives me a coupon good for a day or two, or three off, then I can decide when I want less time. A reward should be under my control, I think. She can also reward me with a spanking, time in the sling, bondage, or other activities she knows I like. She started all this with my anniversary present: coupons for sex and time off. Great concept!
Punishment is difficult for Mrs. Lion. She has often talked about the fact that she has a hard time deciding to punish me. I understand that. So, I figured that if coupons make good rewards, they also can be used to track and deliver punishment as well. So, I created Naughty Lion coupons for my lioness. My idea is that she can fill one of these out each time I do something that deserves discipline. I suggested that she post them on the refrigerator until she executes the punishment. Seeing them there will certainly remind me of my sins.
![Good Lion coupon for rewards.](https://media.malechastityjournal.com/wp-content/uploads2014/08/coupon-good-lion-300x214.jpg)
I’m not sure that Mrs. Lion will go for this. I made her a stack of each type of coupon. The concept has a lot of appeal for me. On the punishment side, penalties can pile up until Mrs. Lion decides to execute my discipline. If her punishment is spanking, a few of these coupons can make my bottom hurt for days. She’s never extended my waiting time for any reason. In fact, she has said that she doesn’t like that idea at all. That’s ok with me. There are other things she has no problem doing that I hate.
Mrs. Lion has wondered why I crave discipline. I’ve thought about that a lot. Primarily, it is because receiving punishment is a powerful message that she is in control. This is not the same as receiving a spanking because it turns me on. This is Mrs. Lion doing things I hate to help me learn. Obviously, there are minor infractions that she punishes with a shock or a few hard swats. There could be more serious offenses, but frankly neither of us can think of any that I have or am likely to commit. So, in this sense I agree with Mrs. Lion that serious punishment is not likely for me unless I massively piss her off.
That doesn’t mean I can’t earn punishment that I will dislike. It just means that Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to change me or beat something in or out of me. She just needs to find or invent things that I do or can do that will earn me discipline from her. You may be wondering how this is different from her “play” spankings, etc. In practice it isn’t. The only difference I can think of is that discipline is never followed by teasing, sex, or play that I like. It is imposed and when done, there is no more activity. From her perspective, punishments are the same as play. From mine, they aren’t the same at all. They fulfill different needs.
I love sensation play like spanking and clothespins, etc. Some of it I hate while it is happening, but find it deeply arousing despite my immediate reactions. A punishment spanking, on the other hand, may be deeply arousing but there is never any satisfaction of that arousal. In my mind, aside from hating it while it is happening, I am also feeling very happy that I have truly surrendered control. After all, making me do something I like is not nearly as powerful a symbol of my submission as having to endure a punishment.
In practice, it is all in my mind. That paddle hitting my butt during play is no different than it is when I am being punished. But it feels different to me! I don’t know how I would react to an extension of my wait. If, for example, Mrs. Lion adds three days to my current eleven day wait, I’m not sure how that would make me feel. If she continues teasing me every other day, I am sure I will be grumbly due to my ever-increasing desire to come. Will it feel like punishment? I don’t know, though I suspect it will. It fits all the criteria of what I consider punishment: I don’t want it and Mrs. Lion is in firm control.