Cage Therapy
This is our sixth month of chastity. In that time, I have had orgasms pretty regularly averaging more than one a week. This is actually more sex than we’ve had before I was locked up. I’m sure the sexual focus of forced chastity has reawakened our sexual relationship. How cool is that! It’s funny, but I’ve never considered myself typical at anything. However, I seem to be very typical in terms of how I react to being locked up. Mrs. Lion has noticed that after three days I get tree-humping horny, and after five I get growly. During my 9 and then 12 day lockups, I noticed that I calmed down considerably on the seventh day, but continued to get horny. The way Mrs. Lion teases me, that is no surprise.
What does surprise me is how consistent I am. My assumption was that once I got used to denial on a regular basis, I would lose a lot of my need to get off. Somehow my mind and body would deal with deprivation by turning down my horny level. Well, for this lion it just doesn’t work that way. Why am I surprised? Because as I have aged, the urgency of my sexual needs has diminished. This is a normal side effect of aging. My erections also lost some of their size and stiffness. When Mrs. Lion got me off or I masturbated, my erections were probably about 80% of full mast. I even got a prescription for Cialis believing that I had begun losing my ability to get hard. Then along came chastity.
When I was first locked up it took some time for me to get hard when released for teasing. My erections were 80-percenters. More recently I get hard faster and achieve a 100 percent boner. No drugs needed. A good part of this change is due in no small part to Mrs. Lion’s increased skill at knowing just how to get me super aroused. Her hand is way better than mine at getting me off. Another part of my new success, I think, is the fact that I am locked up. I never masturbated excessively, so it isn’t the fact that the cage prevents me from that release. It has more to do with the force of understanding that there is nothing I can do to get off. Mrs. Lion literally holds the key to my orgasms.
I also find myself with morning wood pretty much every day, even when I am a wild lion. Before my caging, I rarely woke up hard. Being analytical at heart I try to understand these very nice changes. It’s not physical. It must be my mind shifting gears. This, I am sure, is caused by the change in my relationship with the love of my life. During the years that Mrs. Lion and I sexually drifted apart, I unconsciously compensated by losing a lot of my interest in sex. Yes, I needed regular orgasms or I got grumpy. But they were more a physical need than a full mind/body experience. That’s why my boners were less than wonderfully hard. Now that our intimacy has returned and Mrs. Lion’s interest in the state of my penis is so intense, my body is responding with a bang.
I never would have guessed that something as primal as my erections and orgasmic pleasure could be tied so closely to my sexual relationship with Mrs. Lion. It’s true that through all those years I never considered getting a lover to provide me with sexual release. I just turned down the volume on my libido. All of this was unconscious. It just happened. Who knows, maybe locking up the male partner is a new kind of sex therapy for couples who have lost some of their sexual interest. Cage therapy!
My Next Goal
I’ve had a lot of obstacles of my own making getting in the way of Lion’s happiness. I’m working on overcoming them. I’ve been trying to make decisions. I’ve been trying to get over my fear of actually hurting him. I’ve been trying to get over my distaste for being in charge. But the one that gets in the way most of all is one that I cannot seem to power through. And that is my lack of sex drive.
Lion is convinced that I was turned on by spanking him after his twelve day wait because I was wet when I rode him. I didn’t feel turned on. To me it was equal to his morning wood. If he’s hard he must be turned on. Not true. He’s never turned on in the morning. I can be turned on and not wet. And, apparently, I can be wet and not turned on. Regardless, I should know when I am turned on.
A day after I had given Lion a very nice orgasm he told me it was my turn that night. Was it? He said he wanted it to be. Well, it wasn’t. And even after I had ridden him for another orgasm a few days later he said I must be horny since I had been wet while riding him. I do admit that his cock inside me did feel especially nice that time, but I wasn’t turned on.
My sensitive Lion is afraid that it’s his fault he is not turning me on. Like it’s some failing on his part. Can’t it just be my problem? Can’t I just have a super low sex drive? There have only been a few times in my life that I can remember being tree-humping horny. It’s difficult to say what a normal amount of horniness is. I know generally it fluctuates over a woman’s life. Maybe it’s just been dormant for so long it needs a lot of fanfare to wake it up. Maybe it needs a banner across the front door saying “Welcome Home” and a parade with a big brass band.
I don’t know what it needs. But I do know I don’t want Lion thinking it’s his fault. So I’ve got to figure out how to get Lion-humping horny for him.
She Picked A Card
(Saturday, July 12, 2014) Last night Mrs. Lion had a surprise for me. If you read her post yesterday, you know that she created cards with wait times on them. I didn’t read her post until this morning because I was busy at work yesterday and last night we went out to dinner then she sprung her surprise. She showed me the cards. She also had me look at each one so that I could see they all didn’t say, “1 year”. Actually there was only one card that had a long wait. It was for 21 days — three weeks. She didn’t like that card. I was less disturbed by it, but I really wished she wouldn’t pick it. Luckily, she drew six days. I can do that.
It’s funny that she created the cards at pretty much the same time that I had decided it was fine if she didn’t give me fixed times. This sort of thing often happens with us. We each express a preference, then go away and think about what the other said. In a short time each of us has agreed to the other’s idea. We’re back where we started. The thing is that there is merit in both ideas. Her original concept of not telling me when I will get to orgasm makes me wonder each time she teases me if this is the one. There’s a lot to be said for suspense. The fixed time, on the other hand, adds an interesting dimension to things. As she wrote in her post, I can earn time off by doing thoughtful things. Though she didn’t mention it, I could have to wait longer if I displease her or break a rule. From her perspective, not telling me is the easiest. She can act on the spur of the moment and always keep me guessing. She doesn’t need to do any bookkeeping about days off or added to my time. Managing the fixed time requires more planning and keeping track of added and lost days.
From my perspective, I think both are fine. It could be fun (interesting, anyway) to work with a deadline and it being changed based on my behavior. On the other hand, simply not knowing if today is the day has its own special appeal. Tom Allen wrote that his wife will tell him that he can wait another week. He waits and then she tells him he can wait another. That sort of mind game is a nice activity for people engaged in power exchange.
What do I really want? I have been asking myself that question for a while now. I know what I don’t want. I don’t want to see how long I can go without coming. I just don’t care about that. I want to have Mrs. Lion control if and when I orgasm. Beyond that, I really don’t have any hard and fast ideas. I want her to play with me and tease me. I like when she restrains me and spanks me. I like the shock collar when she uses it. I love being able to give her orgasms. I’ve missed that for a long time. I really like our much improved level of communication. I like wearing my cage. It is a continuous reminder of her control.
That’s another thing I have been thinking about. I’ve been reading what other caged males think of their chastity devices. A significant number are very concerned that the device make it impossible for them to escape or orgasm while wearing it. I know that the most popular chastity fantasy always includes inescapable devices and absolute inability to orgasm while wearing them. I have that fantasy too. But after testing endless devices and interviewing device makers, I know that while you may not be able to get your penis out of a device, you can almost always find a way to get off. The only real life devices that have a chance against a determined male with tools and a vibrator are the ones that include spikes that make erections unbearably painful. Ironically, many of us males are capable of orgasm and ejaculation without an erection. It’s happened to me a few times in my life.
I like to think that I can’t escape my Jail Bird or orgasm with it on. I know if I really want to, I can get out and can get off with a vibrator. It doesn’t bother me to know that. Getting out will hurt and will make me feel badly afterward. The same is true of a vibrator. I never really liked being stimulated by one. I really don’t think about cheating. It isn’t a moral decision. I just don’t. I asked Mrs. Lion to be my keyholder. Why in the world would I want to defeat what I really want? Even when my device was really painful to wear due to some chafing, it never occurred to me to try to get out. After all, I worked very hard to get in.
Pick a Card, Any Card
Yesterday morning I was home from work waiting to take the dog to the vet. I put in a load of laundry and planned on working my second job online. Then, poof. No power. How do the power gods always seem to know the most inconvenient time to zap the power? While I was powerless (ironic when this blog is about my power over Lion) I decided to make some cards with wait times for my pet’s orgasms.
I numbered some slips of paper one day through twenty-one days. Then I added a few that said, “2 random orgasms in 5 days” and “3 random orgasms in 7 days” just to allow myself some fun. I was thinking if we start off with twenty-one days I may throw the whole idea out the window! Of course, being forced to wait twenty-one days would persuade me to come up with ways for Lion to earn time off. The other night he came home with dinner, dessert, and breakfast for the next morning. That should be worth three or four days off. (I’m a pushover.) If he did a few loads of laundry he could lose another five days. We’d be down to a more manageable number in no time!
While those tasks are actually good ideas for earning time off, I’d have to be a little more realistic with how many days he got for each thing. Maybe the dinner, dessert, breakfast thing could be two days. A few loads of laundry may be one day. Letting the dog out and in and out and in (we need a revolving door for her) might earn him another day off. That’s a start. I’ll keep working on it.
After last night’s orgasm, Lion is locked safely away in his cage again. I shuffled the cards, split the deck and picked a card. Believe me when I tell you my fingers were crossed for a low number. Six days. Whew! One day after he becomes grumbly. I can live with that. I’m sure he can too.
