Unintended Consequences
Long, long ago before the Internet, before the telephone, before trains and planes, people needed to communicate when they were not physically together. This was accomplished via snail mail. Letters were how romances started and blossomed, families shared news, and people stayed in touch. These letters were usually quite long and involved a lot of thought on the part of the sender. Technology changed all that. The phone and the Internet replaced personal correspondence for most of us. You might be thinking that the Internet brought written communications back; it did but not in the same way as before. Most email, text, tweets, Facebook messages, etc. are written quickly and sent without another thought. Before technology stepped in, it could take days to compose, edit and rewrite a letter before mailing it. You may be wondering what this has to do with forced male chastity; I’m getting to that.
One of the most amazing outcomes of my being caged turns out to be this blog. It started out as an alternative to the fantasy-based “information” that proliferates on the Web. Hopefully we are meeting that goal. Mrs. Lion and I are getting an unexpected benefit: the exercise of writing a daily post on chastity has become an opportunity to see into each other’s mind and emotions. By sharing our lives with you, we are also conducting a dialog with each other. This dialog as you know, is very intimate and touches on much more than just caging my penis.
We spend a lot of time thinking about what each other writes and what we write every day. Sometimes our posts become a conversation about topics we have never been able to articulate out loud. It feels to me like a much deeper, more emotionally true conversation. Could we do this face-to-face just talking? I suppose we could, but I don’t think I would be able to articulate what I want to say at the speed of talk. Writing here allows me to stop and consider what I am saying. I go back and edit. Sometimes I throw complete posts away. I know Mrs. Lion does the same.
Does that mean you are eavesdropping on our intimate, lovers’ conversations? No, not at all. For me, it means that I am sharing with you, a trusted friend, my feelings and knowledge on this subject. My most trusted friend, Mrs. Lion is also a reader. We have both worried that maybe this is too dull and you aren’t going to get value for spending time here reading. Mrs. Lion is concerned that she is repeating herself. I have the same concern as well. But I don’t think either of us can really change what we want to say. We’ve learned that for us, forced chastity is much more than sexual control. It is a tool that requires us to actively consider and act on our sexual needs and desires. I can’t just withdraw and ignore intimacy. Mrs. Lion knows that I can’t even get an erection without her help. It brings our sexual relationship into sharp focus. For me it also allows me to experience surrender of control. That is a very big deal. An even bigger deal is that Mrs. Lion is willing to accept the burden of providing that control. And, thanks largely to our blog, we discuss what’s going on every single day.
I know that not everyone who takes up forced male chastity will have the same experience as ours. I am pretty sure that many people share our practical and emotional challenges. Your comments continue to provide us with helpful information that enriches our experience. In my opinion this is all happening because every day Mrs. Lion and I bring our chastity and sexual lives into focus so we can write to you. Thank you.
Wait. Don’t Wait.
I think one of the reasons I hate making Lion wait is that I feel like I’ve wasted too much time already. He says he wishes we had met earlier in life and I always tell him we met when we were supposed to meet. But the truth is, we did meet late. Then I wasted time waiting for him to initiate and allowing us to have a dry spell. So why would I want to make him wait now?
Technically I know there’s a difference between the two scenarios. The first was a general ignoring of his needs. This time part of his need is to be controlled, perhaps through denial. But for me it all comes down to the same thing. I feel I’m being mean to him by making him wait. Even if it’s what he wants.
Plus, of course, I love to give him orgasms. I like to see how many different ways I can make him come. Last night’s blow job was long and slow, not much movement at all, lots of tongue, fondling his balls, and then his hips started bucking. I want it to feel good from the beginning and build up to a point that he absolutely needs to come. I want him to wonder why I don’t just go faster and do it already. To me that’s nice torture. I’m not hurting him, but I am in complete control. That’s when it’s fun for me. But any time I give him an orgasm is fun for me.
Last night was day five of his latest wait. Even though it really wasn’t a five day wait. My fault. What can I say? When I need to make him come, I need to make him come. But I didn’t give him another date. Maybe we’ll take turns, as a reader suggested. One time he’ll have a set date and the next will be more fluid. I really like having it be a surprise to him. He won’t know until I take him over the edge if he will come or not.
This is one of the difficult parts of being in charge. I can’t make up my mind. Decisions, rules and punishment. Yuck! I guess I’ve got some thinking to do.
All About Sex
(Wednesday, July 9, 2014) There are two obvious features of forced male chastity: control and sex. About six months ago when I proposed being locked up to Mrs. Lion, I was thinking mainly about control. I knew that the vast majority of writing on the male chastity experience was about sex, but I figured that being caged would focus our male minds on getting off since we couldn’t. However, the appeal to me was the idea that Mrs. Lion would be in total control of my ability to enjoy any sort of sexual expression. My fantasies ran to bondage, spanking, and discipline. Orgasms were not on my list. I also didn’t really think much about having to wait any length of time to come. I had no agenda to be orgasm-free for any long period of time.
I’m not sure why I didn’t think much about sexual release. I really love sex and all my life it has been on the top of the things-I-like-to-do list. Of course, being controlled is very sexual to me, so I guess my thinking was as sexual as any other caged male, just twisted a bit. What I didn’t realize at the time was the amazing power this little cage would have over both of our lives.
As we have both written, prior to me being caged, our sex life was not terribly good for either of us. Mrs. Lion gave me the occasional handjob or oral sex. She didn’t seem interested in orgasms for herself. At the same time I asked her to lock me up, I also decided to start blogging about forced male chastity. Mrs. Lion agreed to be my keyholder without a clear idea of what it would require, but she knew it would make me happy if she assumed the role.
I’m really happy that both of us have been writing here. Going back over the past months’ posts shows how my chastity has actually been the catalyst to restart our sex life and improve our communications as a couple. The fact is that sex has moved into the foreground for both of us. My July fourth orgasm surprised me. I knew I would be coming and Mrs. Lion honored my request that she ride me. That wasn’t the surprise. The big surprise for me was how aroused Mrs. Lion was before she mounted me. She was very wet and ready. I had expected that I would be providing some fun oral attention prior to being mounted, but no, Mrs. Lion climbed on and off we went. That was a very big and welcome change. After I came, she told me to clean up, which I was delighted to do. Mrs. Lion had a couple of nice orgasms from my tongue.
That was Friday night. On Sunday night she gave me an unscheduled oral orgasm. Wow! That was followed by a great handjob on Monday night (she fed me the result). That’s a lot of sex! I’m not claiming that we have suddenly become sex fiends, but over the last months things have gotten much more sexual around the lions’ den. Other couples who share their experiences report a similar metamorphosis; sex lives improve once the male is caged. Go figure!
I haven’t experienced the sort of control and discipline I wanted when we started. Sure, Mrs. Lion now spanks me quite regularly and occasionally uses my shock collar when we are out and about. She likes to shock me when I don’t expect it and laughs at my reaction. I love all of this! I am also coming to realize that I am very happy with how things are now. I don’t expect my lioness to turn into a dominatrix. Our power exchange is evolving slowly in a most satisfying (to me) way.
Most important to me is that Mrs. Lion wants sex with me again. She has complained in her posts about making me wait when she wants to make me come. That is a big change. Our posts have helped open up channels of communication that we had allowed to close. We talk a lot more now. We also pay close attention to what each other writes. We are learning.
I’ve noticed that a good percentage of the email and comments we get are from couples who are at different stages of the same changes we are making. I think it is fair to generalize that when the male is caged, positive changes in communication and sexual expression follow. I am also fairly sure that when the male proposes being caged, he doesn’t have these changes in mind. I sure didn’t. I am also pretty sure that Mrs. Lion had no sense that caging me would be anything more than a way to make me happy in a sexual, BDSM way. I don’t think I would have believed that we would change this way if someone told me when we just decided to start. My motives were my desire to feel sexually controlled. Mrs. Lion’s were to make me happy. If others weren’t sharing their evolution in male chastity, I would consider what is happening to us to be unique and a lucky break. But we aren’t unique. We may be typical. Forced male chastity is about sex and as it turns out, about better communication and a stronger marriage. It’s a good thing my cage is comfortable. I don’t think I will be leaving it any time soon.
Judge And Jury
In general, I have no use for making Lion wait to have an orgasm. Knowing there’s a date looming out there annoys me. When I was making him wait twelve days, there were times I thought of just making him come. But I was trapped by that date I had chosen and further trapped because I said he could neither have time off nor time added. It was set in stone.
Why? If it’s up to me to decide when he comes and when he waits, then why was there a specific date? Well, Lion wanted one. And I stupidly went all in and gave him the date along with making it absolute. His next wait was only five days with no stipulation of time off or time added. As you’ve read, I didn’t adhere to that at all. The only certainty is that he will, indeed, have an orgasm on the fifth day, today. But he also got to come a few extra times.
Why? Because I said so! I hated when my mother said that. But it’s so very useful. There’s no arguing with it. I don’t need a reason. I’m in charge and I said so and that’s it. End of discussion.
However, I can understand Lion wanting a specific date. Which is why I probably won’t make him wait for long again unless he says he wants to. If he were to ask for a two week wait or even a month because he wants to see what it feels like, I would probably agree to it. I wouldn’t like it, but I’d do it for him. I just want to make him come when I want to make him come. I don’t care what the calendar says. I don’t care if he just came yesterday. I don’t care if someone else’s keyholder hasn’t let him come in a year and a half.
I didn’t find him to be any more attentive while he was being denied. If anything he was probably less attentive. That’s not necessarily a bad thing though. I’m still not tree-humping horny like Lion is. Ironically it would probably be less of a challenge for me to be the one locked away. Aside from the obvious discomfort of a female chastity device (at least I imagine it’s uncomfortable) I think what would bother me the most is being told what I could and couldn’t do. The lack of sex would be no big deal. Of course, if I was teased every day and not allowed to come that would be a different story.
So what does this mean for Lion? Well, we’ve discussed it a little bit. He knows I get nothing out of making him wait. He also knows I will make him wait if he wants to wait. He should know, from this past five day wait, that if I want him to orgasm he’s going to orgasm and I don’t care how long I told him he’s waiting. So far he has no problem with extra orgasms. I’m assuming he’ll want to wait at some point in the future. I think he’s happy that I am in charge of when he comes. If I do happen to decide to make him wait I think he’ll need a specific date. That’s how his mind works. I get that. But, as fair warning, I may throw that date out the window if I get too annoyed with it.
He wanted me to be in charge. I will entertain his wishes, but I am the judge and jury.
