Male Chastity Journal

It’s been a bit over three weeks now that I have been caged full time. Those first three weeks were a challenge physically and emotionally. Going in, I had no real idea how often, when alone, I like to do a little playing and enjoy my erection. That sort of activity is impossible through the bars of my cage. I have missed it. I didn’t realize how much until Mrs. Lion uncaged me for a little exercise last week. She told me that I needed to “stretch a bit.” She then proceeded to masturbate me. It felt so good! Just when I was ready to show her how much I liked it, she stopped. She said, “I just want you to stretch. No one said you could squirt too.”

I was surprised; more at the fact that I didn’t feel badly that she didn’t finish the job than at not getting to come. Later, after things calmed down and I was lying in my cage, I realized that I am really getting used to my new captivity. The other day she did an inspection and found a couple of red spots. She let me go “wild” for 24 hours. By the time we finished dinner the night after I was set free, I could feel a real longing for my cage. I wanted her to lock me up. After an hour or so I asked her to do it. She was kind enough to put my penis in its little cage.

I know that this is something I wanted. It wasn’t her idea at all. Even now I have no idea exactly why I am so drawn to forced chastity. There are so many possible explanations: I want her to initiate sex, being forced to wait is arousing, I need to feel the control, etc. The truth is that I just don’t know what draws me to this and why I am doing everything I can to assure that she wants it as much as I do.

It’s very difficult for Mrs. Lion. She genuinely loves to get me off. She doesn’t ever want to be cruel. I imagine that most women feel that way and it is a big reason why prolonged control like forced chastity just doesn’t work for them. Mrs. Lion is trying very hard to do this for me. It’s not exactly the same as having her do it to me, but it is definitely moving in a very good direction. I may never know why I want to surrender my sexual freedom with this steel cage; but I do.

Three weeks is also another milestone for me. The cage doesn’t hurt. Even though this temporary cage is too short and narrow for me, it has gone from being painful to wear to being so comfortable that much of the time I have no idea it is there. I am reminded when I need to pee. That is still a big challenge. Most of the time I just sit down to do it; no mess or aiming. However, that isn’t always easy. When I need to stand, there is a good chance it will go in an unexpected direction. Sometimes the little “mouth” gets behind a bar and a shower results; others, there is some pressure in the side of it and the stream goes down or far to one side. I have learned to visually check to make sure the opening is nicely centered. Even so, due to the angle of the cage, hitting my target isn’t a sure thing.

As I learn to enjoy my confinement, I am finding that sometimes when I a granted release it just doesn’t feel all that good. This was the case the other night. Mrs. Lion was doing a very nice job stimulating me, yet when the climax arrived it just wasn’t that good. It wasn’t her. Others report having this happen too. I think it is because confinement precludes the kind of stimulation we provide ourselves prior to the actual engagement with our partners. To me, at least, going from a “cold start” just doesn’t give my body the chance to make the mental and physical buildup it needs. Partly, this is due to age. Once you are on the north side of thirty, sexual responses start to change. I am well north of that line and I can see that my needs are different now. I am not sure how to change this. I don’t want to ask Mrs. Lion to make my orgasms any more complex than they already are. I want her to keep control. Maybe others who have gone through this will have some ideas.

I have been faithfully doing my kegel exercises each day on my commute. I can feel more strength, but so far it hasn’t affected my orgasms or the energy my semen has when I finally come. I was hoping that by strengthening those muscles, I could ejaculate with more force. Stay tuned. I will report as time goes by.

There is a big difference between my fantasies about being locked up and the reality. For one thing, Mrs. Lion doesn’t share my enthusiasm for male chastity. She is definitely supervising me, but she is doing it for me, not her. I wondered if, in fact, I was really in control with her just holding the key and opening it up anytime I want. I am pretty sure that as of now she would unlock me if I want. I don’t want that. She did have a surprise for me. When I asked her about being locked up two weeks ago, she agreed and then also told me that she wanted me to wear a diaper from after work Friday until I had to leave for work on Monday morning. We bought a package of briefs, 18 of them, and I was in diapers. I wondered if she would want to continue this after the first weekend.

The next Friday morning I asked her if she still wanted me to wear a diaper. She said, “Of course.” On Saturday we headed out to shop. We were on the way to the warehouse store. She asked if I had shopped for more diapers. I told her I hadn’t. She said we would do that at the club. We came home with a pack of 72. I said, “I guess you want to keep me in diapers every weekend from now on.” She nodded. Of course, for the last decade she has requested that I am naked when home, so the diaper is a new extension.

This past Friday we had a show to go to and another on Sunday. She told me that I would wear the diaper starting after work on Tuesday until Wednesday morning and then again from Wednesday night to Thursday morning. She said I could go diaper free Friday night and Sunday night. At that point I realized that she had crossed a line. She was serious about my obedience to her rules.

I’ve been locked up continuously since we started. The first week, she released me on Wednesday night for inspection and a nice hand release. She noticed that I was pretty irritated. It was starting to hurt every time I moved. I understand that this is fairly common in the beginning. She let me go “wild” until the next night when I asked to be locked again. Since then, I have been continuously caged. Last night (Sunday) I mentioned that I was a bit sore and asked her to check. This time she didn’t unlock me. She just inspected through the cage. I asked if she wanted to take it off. She said, “Do you want me to?”

I thought for a bit and said, “No, I guess not.”

At this point I don’t know if she would say no if I asked to be uncaged. I hope she will. It is important to me that she stay in control. Certainly I feel the control about the diapers. That’s good. I don’t think she is ready to consider punishment as part of our arrangement. We are not in a Wife Led Relationship. I’m not sure we will ever go to that. My hope is that she will be in charge sexually. If she wants me to handle our day-to-day affairs and make the decisions about where we go, etc. that is fine with me.

The Mature Metal Bird Cage can’t arrive soon enough! This imported cage is effective. There is even a metal plate right at the spot where if I rubbed I could get off. It isn’t a good fit and when I get a nocturnal erection, pressure is painful against that plate. My desire for release is weaker. I mentioned that to Mrs. Lion and I suggested that regular teasing would keep me wanting. It might also make me grumpy. She needs to consider discipline to help me get over that.