Just A Man

Lioness 3.0’s arrival is difficult for me to accept. I’m not complaining. She is letting me know what truly bothers her. Some of these things feel challenging to me on a pretty deep level. Her recent post, Time For A Change, is a perfect example. In that post, she explained that she hates it when I respond to her declaration that she might have a cold with me worrying that I might catch it.

She sees this as me making her illness about me instead of her. I never thought of it that way. She has a point. My thoughts immediately went to the ten or more days I spend in bed with a bad cold. That is selfish of me. But that’s not the point at all. The big news is that Mrs. Lion was willing to let me know that it bothers her when I do that. Further, she announced that I will be punished if I do it again. Score for 3.0!

I never realized that I was upsetting her. I didn’t think I was being selfish or thoughtless. If 3.0 wasn’t visiting, I would have continued with this thoughtless behavior. Well, I still might do it, but I will suffer if I do. 3.0 didn’t concern herself with why I would say that. She knows. But she wasn’t looking to rationalize my statement. She was hurt. That’s enough.

I’ve been in relationships where my partner would let me know when I did or said things she didn’t like. Invariably, she would make me miserable about what I did. It was emotional punishment that pushed us apart. Mrs. Lion is taking a much healthier route. She tells me what bothers her and then punishes me for any future repetition. It’s clean and non-guilt provoking. There is no room for me to object or argue; and no further recriminations from Mrs. Lion. It’s a simple, “Do it again and you will be spanked.”

Some might see this as unfair. After all, what I said wasn’t intended to hurt her. It never occurred to me that it could. Susan, in a comment, argued that Mrs. Lion was being unfair:

“Why make a mountain out of a molehill? It’s an honest statement and don’t pretend that you would not say it the other way around or maybe think it. So what’s the problem? He just announces a fact nothing more nothing less, that’s how men work.”

She went on to say:

“He just stated a fact nothing more nothing less 100% without even thinking about it. Did you ever tell him, that it offends you? If not, you don’t have the right to make it punishable from now on.”

The fact is that she did tell me. She announced it in her post. She didn’t punish me for saying it the other day. She put me on notice that I will be punished if I do it again in the future. This has nothing at all to do with whether or not the statement is honest or correct. It offends Mrs. Lion because it shows I’m not thinking of her at a time when I clearly should. 3.0 will not stand for that.

The biggest question hasn’t been answered. Will Mrs. Lion actually follow through if I repeat this behavior? So far, I haven’t been punished for being a know-it-all or recently interrupting. I believe that Mrs. Lion has taken the most difficult step: she’s informed me that I offended or hurt her. This is epic! It’s the kind of action that will strengthen our marriage. I hope she will follow through as needed.

We’ve learned that prompt, consistent, severe punishment will change my behavior. It works. We’ve also learned that there are no negative side effects to this apparently-extreme exercise of wifely power. If anything, it turns out that it is benign. A sore bottom and a soapy mouth do teach me. Yes, my bottom and my pride is hurt. But that is a small price to pay for positive change. There is no guilt, no going to bed angry. It’s a clear, clean exchange that eventually results in making me a better husband

Lazy Saturday

Last Saturday we slept late. This Saturday Lion slept late. I was up earlier to let the dog out. I’m still very tired. I’m back to not sleeping well. I’m not sure I ever really reached a point of sleeping well, but some nights are better than others. There’s a lot to do around here but I’m not very motivated to do it. I’ll probably wind up taking a nap and then maybe I’ll feel better.

I did not follow Lion’s suggestion of doing the Box O’Fun items he picked on Thursday night. It may be a cop out, but if I decide he shouldn’t have been spanked or we wanted to put off the pegging for another time, then we should do it that way. I’m in charge. What I say goes. Right?

Of course, I can see the argument against it. We have the Box O’Fun to prevent inertia. If I bring it out then we should follow what it says. Maybe it’s because I’ve been so tired. I just didn’t have it in me to do any pegging. It did cross my mind that I could shove a butt plug in and be done with it, but a butt plug isn’t pegging. On the other hand, I’m not sure Lion could have handled going straight for pegging. Perhaps a butt plug would have been the best idea.

As you can see, none of this is written in stone. Lion thinks he’s getting off easy on nights that I agree to delay punishment or play. I don’t see it that way. Most of the time I think I’m the one getting off easy. I don’t have to do whatever it is I’m delaying. Maybe I’m tired. Maybe I’m distracted. Maybe I just don’t feel like doing it. Yes, I can power through. Yes, I have powered through. But if I don’t have to then it’s a win for both of us.

3.0 doesn’t always have to be mean. 3.0 can say, “I understand you don’t feel up to being punished so I’ll let it go till tomorrow” because 3.0 understands that Lion is tired or distracted or just doesn’t feel like doing it. I always thought of 2.0 as a benevolent dictator. Why wouldn’t 3.0 be one too?

Owed To The Box O’Fun

lion on knees for pegging

I’m in position for the pegging and spanking owed to me.
Click to view full size.

Thursday night, Mrs. Lion brought out the Box O’Fun. I groaned inwardly. I was tired and not feeling very frisky. Of course, that’s why we have the box, to prevent inertia from setting in. I picked a card. Mrs. Lion opened it, folded it back up and put it in the box.

“Pick another card.”

“Why,” I asked.

“It’s spanking again. We just did that.”

I dutifully picked another card. Mrs. Lion looked at it and frowned.

“What is it?” I asked.

Pegging. I don’t want to do that now.”

“That’s fine with me,” I said.

Mrs. Lion put the box away. This was a new situation. We had agreed to perform what the card said immediately. But we just went Meh and went about our business. This isn’t a good precedent. Now what? I suggest that we carry out the activity (pegging) as soon as possible. Last night we snuggled, but Mrs. Lion didn’t elect to “make up” the two Box O’Fun activities. Maybe she will be in the mood today.

It’s been a couple of months since my last anal visit. It isn’t my favorite activity. It’s not pleasant for me. Mrs. Lion resists it because anal requires prep and work to initiate it.

This is an activity that emotionally turns me on and, when I think about it, I feel particularly submissive. I also like the challenge of working up to larger dildos and plugs. In short, I both love and hate it. I think that since we agreed to abide by the cards drawn, we owe the Box two activities. I selected a spanking, then a pegging. By rights, we should do both.

After all, the reason for the box is inspiration. Mrs. Lion is way too kind sometimes. I almost never want to have things up my ass. Mrs. Lion will agree to let me avoid penetration if I object. The box can’t hear my objections. When it comes to punishment, Mrs. Lion’s hearing isn’t very good either. My objections fall on deaf ears. I suppose she may want to tune out when I don’t want to play. I like that idea.

Time for a Change

This morning I woke up coughing. My nose was stuffy. I told Lion I might be getting a cold. He said, “Great. That means I’ll get one too.” This statement always bothers me. It turns how I’m feeling into being all about him. When my stomach is bothering me, he’ll say he’s sorry and ask if there’s something he can do for me. With a cold, he always says I’ll give it to him.

I’m not disputing the fact that we take care of each other. He makes food and brings me medicine when he’s able to and I do the same for him. Generally, he does get colds first and then I get them so when I’m really bad he’s still unable to move much yet. But we do our best. I tend not to worry about him getting me sick because if it’s going to happen it’ll happen. It’s not a big deal. I have, in the past few years, turned the tables on him when he gets sick first but he just tells me that it’s more dangerous for him to get sick because he’s older.

Before either of us gets sick, I’m instituting a new rule: he can think about my giving him a cold but he better not say it. This is now a punishable offense. Yup. That’s how much this statement bothers me. I know he’s worried about his own health but that’s not the time to show it.

Heading into cold and flu season, I bet this will open up a lot of potential punishments. Just what we were looking for!