Mrs. Lion’s Great Idea

spanking

One day down, only three to go!

I’m convinced that a male chastity device is more of a turn on for me than a sex-preventative. Over the last few months, I’ve spent a lot of time uncaged. Other than the lack of a chastity device, nothing else has changed. Mrs. Lion gets me off about once a week. She also teases me on a nearly-daily basis.

The thing is that I don’t find myself getting is turned on as much as I did when I was kept in a chastity device. It takes longer to get me hard when she teases me. I don’t find myself straining to get to the edge. I can’t say with any certainty that things would be different if I were locked up, but I know that my current loss of urgency seems to correspond with the lack of a cage.

The other night after Mrs. Lion spanked me, she called me into the bathroom to soap my mouth. I found myself getting hard when I realized what she was about to do. I was embarrassed that she might see my growing penis. Once she got to work rubbing soap into every corner of my mouth, my penis returned to its flaccid state. Other times, when told to sit on my punishment stool in the corner, I find myself getting hard as well. Ironically, when I’m about to be spanked I stay completely flaccid.

That means an erection is not my general reaction to punishment. But I am excited by random activities. Like wearing a chastity device, none of these activities are designed to provide sexual excitement. None involve stimulating my penis. Yet, it reacts as if it has a mind of its own.

Most of the time when I’m locked up, I’m not even aware the chastity device is there. I don’t feel any little sexual tingles when I realize my penis is under lock and key. I don’t even try to get hard when Mrs. Lion tickles my balls and reminds me that her weenie is locked up. I don’t think that means it has no effect. Just as I don’t show any physical sign that I like to be spanked, starting an erection when locked in a chastity device isn’t necessary to indicate I’m aroused by my predicament.

Could it be that I’m turned on by the situation itself? Being sexually helpless locked in a chastity device is clearly the raw material of fantasy. Similarly, being subjected to corporal punishment is another area of hot fantasy for me. Maybe we stopped understanding that all this stuff serves dual purposes: The obvious one is exercise of control and inflicting punishment. The more subtle one is that these activities sexually arouse me because they make me realize I don’t have control.

Mrs. Lion has kept me wild to make it easier for me. I don’t think that she considered the sexual side effect of leaving me unlocked. Similarly, the lack of punishments shows that I’ve learned how to do what she wishes, but also has taken away a source of excitement. I want to be good and do what I’m told. In a way, I’m punished when I do.

When Mrs. Lion wrote about using the silent treatment as a punishment, I realized that unintended silence, like withholding of punishment and lockup in the chastity device, affects me as well. For the record, I don’t think the silent treatment is ever a good idea. It plays into my deepest fear of being abandoned.

It would seem that remaining unpunished is a reward for good behavior. Of course, it is. However, it also takes something away that I need. Fixing this is not terribly difficult. Returning me to the Jail Bird is simple. More difficult is assuring that I am receiving punishments. In my mind punishment isn’t the same as play. Spanking me for no reason is play and doesn’t have the same effect. I guess I need some new, easier-to-break rules. I also think that Mrs. Lion’s idea of changing punishment from a single spanking to a series over days is another way to light the fire.

I thought her idea was pretty clever. Depending on how she feels about an offense, she can sentence me to a series of spankings that can stretch from one (hopefully two or more) to one a day for more than a week. Aside from making sure that she makes a lasting impression, she will also be reviving the turn on for me.

If spankings are multi-day and I commit an offense before she completes my sentence, she can simply add the new sentence onto the end of the current one. I can see myself getting a daily spanking for quite some time if I’m not careful. Similarly, her spanking desserts affect me as well. I hope she continues them. We have a punishments stool and lots of soap. She may come up with other ideas as well.

It’s a little difficult to acknowledge that being punished as part of our FLRD is also something I need. I don’t think that the fact that it helps me sexually takes away from its value as a teaching tool. If anything, it gives my lioness additional incentive to find opportunities to correct me.

Anonymous Lion

So the silent treatment is scarier than I thought. Lion doesn’t think he could handle it. Truthfully, I’m not sure I could either. I mean, I could probably do it for a few hours, but not for any length of time. I think if I was ever in the position to do it, I’d probably just leave the house entirely for a while. That alone would be bad enough. And neither of us can imagine a situation that I’d be so mad at him that I’d do either of those things.

The other thing I wanted to touch on was Lion’s posts about the way we met. I’ll just add that for the first few weeks or maybe even months, we didn’t know each other’s name. It really was anonymous sex. We communicated through the dating website and later emails. I think we even exchanged cell phone numbers before we exchanged names. I may be completely wrong about the timing of this, but I know it was definitely a while before we knew the other’s name.

[Lion — We knew each other’s first names after several weeks. I don’t think I knew Mrs. Lion’s last name for a long time. It wasn’t that we wanted to be anonymous; at least I didn’t. It just wasn’t important. We had each other’s email addresses and cell phone numbers. That was plenty to maintain contact.]

Last night I attempted to get Lion aroused. It was starting to work and I think I hit his sore spot. He cringed and said maybe we need to wait another day. I don’t want to hurt him unless I mean to, so we’ll wait as long as he needs to wait. I’d much rather have a happy weenie than a sore one. It seems to me the last time he had a sore spot, he tried to blame it on me and my Velcro. I haven’t used Velcro since then so this is definitely not on me.

About a week ago Lion got a small vibrator free from Extreme Restraints. Apparently they had an issue with an email they sent out and decided to compensate with a vibrator. I decided to try it last night before the sore spot derailed us. Even on its highest setting, Lion couldn’t really feel it. I think it might work as a butt plug stimulator. If I put the nJoy plug in and then vibrate it, he might feel it. We’ll have to remember the next time we do anal play.

Hand Jobs And Planned Release

In case you wondered, the mysterious sore on my penis seems to be almost healed (Click here to see the healing progress). I still have absolutely no idea how I did it. There aren’t a lot of possibilities. Since I’m naked almost all the time, and I haven’t used a public restroom, or for that matter even our bathroom, while dressed, it’s not a zipper injury. I’m very sure I would have noticed if it were. I’m assuming that I scratched myself with a sharp nail when going to the bathroom. One good thing about being trained not to stimulate myself sexually is that I’m sure I didn’t get it as a result of masturbating.

A few days ago, I wrote about my thought that the chastity device isn’t necessary to stop a masturbation habit. I got quite a few comments that agreed with a very big but. That qualification was that when horny and bored, jerking off was difficult to avoid. I agree, it can be. This brings us back to a very interesting observation: the difference between “can’t” and “won’t”.

When I’m locked in a chastity device, I can’t play with myself. I can’t even get hard. It’s true that I could escape from the device, but that requires a lot more trouble than I’m willing to go to. There’s something really hot about being unable to reach the penis and stimulate it. If I am a wild, it’s available for me to fondle. I can get hard and jerk off. I don’t because I’ve been trained not to. But I can with no real difficulty. In this case I won’t play with myself.

I think it’s very hot to be locked in a chastity device. It’s most exciting when I’m horny and I can feel my penis pressing against the bars as it strains to get erect. I know that I can’t express sexual feelings. Instead of being bored and horny, I am excited, frustrated, and horny. The presence of the locked device reminds me that I have no ability to get myself off.

It comes down to the same thing, of course. In either case I don’t get off. When I’m wearing chastity device, not getting off is a fun effect of my penis bondage. When I’m wild, not getting off is a not-so-fun result of my training. I remain bored and horny. Exercising the willpower instilled by my training isn’t particularly fun for me. I don’t feel tempted and victorious by overcoming the temptation. I just don’t try. So, I’m left bored and horny.

I think it’s safe to say that masturbation as a temporary cure for boredom isn’t the most healthy thing in the world. It’s a very typical behavior among primates in captivity. We’ve all seen monkeys jerking off frantically and frequently in the zoo. It’s a pleasant primate pastime. Even in the wild, many animals masturbate now and then.

It’s even okay for married humans, if the female mate allows it. Jerking off is a legitimate pressure release in situations where partner sex is unavailable. In fact, some wives encourage it as a way of reducing their need to have sex with their husbands. We all know that it’s rare when both partners have the same level of interest in sex. The partner who wants more sex can be encouraged to masturbate as a way of balancing sexual needs.

I don’t agree with that idea at all. If there is a difference in sexual desire, I think it should be recognized and discussed. Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself. She also never wants me to masturbate. So, she’s done the reasonable thing: She masturbates me. I don’t do it myself. Because we have a sexual power exchange, she restricts how often she gets me off as a way of expressing her control.

Let’s say that we didn’t have this chastity power exchange. Then, she would stimulate me regularly and frequently enough to keep me satisfied. I doubt that she would do it every day, even if I wanted it. But, she would jerk me off several times a week to make sure I was sexually satisfied. The mechanism of enforced male chastity simplifies the process. I understand that I’m supposed to be frustrated and horny much of the time. I know that when she chooses to give me an orgasm, I’m grateful and appreciate it.

There is a very big difference between a hand job from Mrs. Lion and me rubbing one out. When it’s her hand, we are having sex. Yes, she is masturbating me, but because my mate is providing the stimulation, it’s partner sex. Anything she does that stimulates my penis and possibly allows me to ejaculate is partner sex. Intercourse is only one form of it. We have only had vaginal intercourse once since  January 2016. About 25% of my orgasms are oral. Virtually all of the teasing and 75% of my orgasms are produced by her hands. Normal sex for me is a hand job.

I’m not complaining. I’m very satisfied-if-horny, most of the time. It’s been this way for almost 6 years. I realize that most other couples have more sexual variety. That doesn’t change the premise at all. 100% of my orgasms are produced one way or another by my lioness. She chooses to use her hand to do it almost all the time. If your partner prefers you to get off through intercourse, that’s fine. The key is that all sex is provided by your mate. If she isn’t available to provide it, you don’t get it.

That’s the hard part. She’s sick or she’s out of town or she’s angry or she’s tired. She isn’t available to get you off. In my world, that means I don’t get off. It’s as simple as that. If you happen to be practicing enforced male chastity, you should be willing to wait as long as it’s necessary for an orgasm. If you’re not, you may believe that since she can’t (or won’t) get you off, you have a perfect right to jerk off.

Male chastity may appear to be a very strange kink. I can see that. It forcefully teaches a critical lesson in sexual happiness. Those of us locked in chastity devices do not expect to get ourselves off. We’ve surrendered that right to our mates. It doesn’t matter how horny we get, we can’t take matters into our own hands. After being locked up a number of years, I’ve been trained so that I won’t take matters into my own hands no matter how desperate I am.

My sexual dependency has improved our relationship. I am sexually faithful in every sense. Mrs. Lion knows that she alone provides me with sexual relief. She sees this as both an expression of my love and a responsibility to me. On the deepest, most intimate level, she owns my penis. Because we practice enforced male chastity, her ownership is defined by explicit agreement. We both know that I can’t ejaculate unless she stimulates me.

Before we started all this, she believed that was the case. She had no idea that I masturbated. When she found out that I did, it bothered her. I think the reason it did was that she learned that she wasn’t my only source of sexual pleasure. A few times a week I provided myself with what she believed was hers. At the time I thought that was a bit odd. She jerked me off and occasionally gave me oral sex about once a month. I couldn’t believe that she thought that was enough for me. Our “chastity talk” exposed all this and established ground rules for regular teasing and occasional ejaculation.

If we didn’t have that talk, I’m pretty sure that I would become more and more frustrated and she would have withdrawn from me further. I wonder how many couples actually talk about their sex lives. I wonder if couples practicing enforced male chastity stop discussing it as well. I think that the best, most-satisfying sexual relationships are the result of conscious planning and execution. The idea that sex should be spontaneous is a cop out. Thanks to our blog, Mrs. Lion and I regularly learn about each other’s sexual status and interest. Speaking of which, I sure wish she were here now to play with me.

Evil Thoughts

I had some evil thoughts last night I didn’t share with Lion yet. I wanted to save it for my post. One of the thoughts he’ll like. The other, not so much.

If you’d followed us along our journey, you know that Lion is notoriously difficult to bruise when I spank him. I’ve done it. It just requires focused swats and a lot of them. I’ve even drawn blood that way. I’m not sure my idea will yield any more bruising, but I was thinking maybe I’d punish him a few days in a row for more egregious offenses.

Obviously, this is the idea Lion will like most. He likes to be spanked. We tried a punishment experiment with 300 swats that bruised him. I’m not sure I’d give him 300 swats for days on end, but I could. I guess it would depend on how much of a point I was trying to make. It would certainly send a message.

My other idea is much more evil. I’m not sure if I’d ever use it, it’s so evil. Lion would hate it. I’d have to be really pissed off. The thought crossed my mind that giving Lion the silent treatment would nearly kill him. He’s asked me when I’m playing on my iPad and effectively ignoring him if I’m mad at him. Knowing I was mad at him and I was not paying any attention to him on purpose seems like cruel and unusual punishment.

I can’t even think of what he could possibly do to rate such a horrible punishment. I mean, I’ve clammed up for a little while when he interrupts or if he seems to be attacking something my kids have done. But for a full day or more? I don’t know if I could hurt him that much. I’m sure he’d much rather have a spanking that left pieces of skin hanging off his butt than to have me not talk to him.

Luckily for Lion, I don’t think things will ever come to the most evil punishment. We’d have much bigger problems than how I’d punish him if we ever got that far off the rails. Maybe that’s Lioness 10.0 sneaking a peek around the corner.

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