Two days after his orgasm and Lion was horny. I was surprised. It’s been taking him a while lately to get back into the mood. Two days is more like it was some months ago. Maybe we’re heading in the right direction. On the other hand, maybe he was horny because I swatted his buns as soon as I got home.

Yesterday he asked if I could do the punishment early. He didn’t know I’d already decided to do it super early. I wasn’t going to wait until after dinner. I wanted to do it before I got all snuggled in and comfortable. Some evenings I’m cold so I crawl into bed to get warm before I crawl back out to make dinner. None of that when I owe him a punishment. I want to get it out of the way early so I don’t forget and so I don’t have to worry about Lion snoozing.

new crop on lion's butt
This is my new crop on Lion’s butt. When he spreads wide, I can reach everything.(See image below, left)

When I grabbed the lightweight wooden spoon my hands were freezing. I warmed them a little bit on Lion’s buns before I started. I figured it was a good way to survey the area before I started whacking it. The wooden spoon might be the correct size to get into his crack but it is not heavy enough to do much damage. I’m not saying he didn’t feel it. I got him pretty rosy both inside and out. He’s asked if I want to try a different implement tonight. That’s a sure sign I didn’t do much damage last night.

Lion's tender little anus
Lion spreading himself wide for my crop. His tender anus will feel its sting.

I know Lion wants to give me practice. I also know he likes to be spanked. It may seem like he’s sacrificing his butt for my “craft” but, don’t you worry, he’s getting something out of it too. The trick is to make it less enjoyable for him. He shouldn’t ever equate maintenance or practice swats with pleasure.

Tonight I’ll give a crop a try. It can be eviler than a paddle. I think the head is small enough to get into Lion’s nooks and crannies. Plus it does a good job across his whole butt. Poor Lion.

Because he expressed interest in a good time last night, I gave him some oral attention. He was in heaven. I don’t know how close I got him but he was very unhappy when I stopped. And then he was in heaven when I started again. I started to say I gave him the better part of a blow job, but it’s the end that’s the better part. I guess it depends on your perspective. Lion loves the lead-up. I assume he likes the happy ending best but I may be wrong.

I just like to play with my food. I like the little noises he makes. I like it when he moves around and bucks trying to get me to move in a certain way. I like doing something that’s getting his motor running and then abruptly stopping so he feels just the slightest bit let down before I go back to it again. Yup. Playing with my food.

I am learning to hate a word I used to like. That word is “again”. It used to mean I could go on that amusement park ride one more time, or get another orgasm, or something else I like. It has a new meaning now. When Mrs. Lion says, “again” she is generally referring to the fact that I’ve repeated an offense.

For example, in her post the other day, she reported that I forgot to tell her that Saturday was punishment day again. We have a long-standing agreement that the best way to determine if my punishment is severe enough is whether I “learn” not to repeat the offense too soon. Most women who are disciplining wives recognize that we men tend to “forget” what we should do after a while. Exactly how long that “while” depends on the wife.

The reason this is important is that if I repeat an offense too soon, my punishment will be much more severe. The reasoning behind this is reasonable. Obviously, the initial punishment was not strong enough to teach me to avoid repeating the offense. Even though I realize this is going to hurt me quite a bit, I have to admit that I still manage to forget Saturday punishment days. I’ve been spanked for this at least four times in the last couple of months.

Okay, in the scheme of life that’s no big deal. But in terms of our relationship, it really is. It shouldn’t be very difficult for me to remember to remind Mrs. Lion. The fact that I don’t isn’t an act of defiance; I just forget. Mrs. Lion and I both agree I need to remember things I’m supposed to do. Obviously, her standard five-minute spanking hasn’t improved my memory sufficiently.

This is an odd post for me to be writing. It’s more reasonable for Mrs. Lion to be saying this. (For all I know she will write about this too.) Because I have more experience in the area of BDSM and administering spankings, I supply input to Mrs. Lion to help her learn what I know. In this case, at the safe distance of several hours away from my spanking, I have to admit that as a repeat offender I clearly need a much stronger message to help improve my memory. I know I will be very sorry I made this suggestion. It’s the right thing to do.

We are establishing habits that make sense inside our disciplinary relationship. Lioness 3.0 is perfectly capable of administering blistering spankings to me. However, 3.0 doesn’t always display the judicial judgment to increase punishment when needed. That may be one of the key attributes of 4.0.

I’ve read posts by other men who are in domestic discipline relationships as the recipients of the discipline. There is general agreement that because we asked to be put in this position we also owe our disciplining partners assistance in being as effective as possible. Some men have to be careful to self-report offenses that take place away from their wives. Some also have to help their wives develop the punishment skills needed to be effective at behavior correction.

I am committed to both. I feel it is my duty to help Mrs. Lion become the most effective disciplinarian she can be. I recognize that at the stage where we are now, this results in much unhappiness for me. I firmly believe that doesn’t matter at all. I am sure that if the level of discipline is strong enough, I will remember to avoid the offense. Even though the idea of being spanked is sexually arousing to me, my motive in encouraging more severe spankings comes from my strong desire to change.

I’m not sure who this is harder on. My lioness gets no pleasure out of beating me. In a way that’s too bad. If it turned her on a little, it would be much easier for her to escalate as required.

I think you can see that none of what we are doing is arbitrary. If the rule is trivial, it should be trivial to follow. If a rule is serious, it may be harder to follow but isn’t different in any significant way from the simpler ones. Let me explain.

The first time I do something wrong if you will, I get the “standard” five-minute spanking for it. If that is sufficient to educate me, I don’t repeat the offense and don’t earn another punishment. If I forget after a reasonable period of time, say a month, maybe I get another five-minute reminder. It doesn’t really matter whether the rule is a big one or small one. It just matters that I am punished in an effort to correct me.

The more difficult part is what happens if I repeat the offense in less time then Mrs. Lion considers a reasonable period. Up until now, that’s resulted in another five-minute spanking. I’m not trying to minimize those five-minute beatings. They are vicious. However, clearly they aren’t enough if I repeat an offense. Mrs. Lion and I agree with this concept. She has had some difficulty implementing it.

Actually, repeat offenses need two things to happen in my view: First, I need to be reminded verbally that this is a repeat and that I will be receiving a more severe punishment in an effort to help me learn. If Mrs. Lion doesn’t say this, there is a decent chance that I won’t make the association during the spanking. I’ll just think I’m more sensitive. The second point is that the spanking itself has to be significantly more severe than the normal one I receive.

After she announces that I’m being punished for a repeat offense, the ensuing spanking has to be longer and harder. The idea here is that Mrs. Lion is making it much more expensive for me to repeat breaking that particular rule. In a very real sense, the much more severe spanking moves it higher on my internal priority list. It really is an attitude adjustment.

I think that people who come from a corporal punishment background know this instinctively. They recognize that there has to be a certain minimum level of unhappiness and pain for any punishment, but there also has to be significant enhancements when repeatedf disobedience requires it.

This principle makes it easier for Mrs. Lion. She’s often commented about the inherent unfairness of severely spanking me for something I didn’t realize was a rule. She thought the first offense should be a warning. I’ve always disagreed. I think the first offense earns the standard spanking. She knows I can manage this and that it makes enough of an impression on me that I will generally work to change my behavior.

All bets are off if I make a repeat appearance. That first five-minute spanking was a very graphic warning. Clearly, it wasn’t enough to get my full attention. That’s why I say it doesn’t really matter which rule is broken repeatedly. Obviously, some of them will upset her more than others. But in terms of my learning to be obedient, repeat offenses are defiance. Even if I think I “forgot”, we both know that I am supposed to tell her on Saturday that it is punishment day. The fact that I do it more than once — at least four times in the last two months — means I clearly need to be reminded that it is completely unacceptable behavior.

Mrs. Lion and I both spent a lot of time agonizing over the relative degree of different offenses. For example, how can we think that me spilling some salsa on my shirt equates to me interrupting her? After all, I can spill something on my shirt without intending to. Spilling doesn’t really hurt Mrs. Lion’s feelings. Interrupting her upsets her and seems to be a much more serious issue.

In the scheme of life it is. But in terms of a disciplinary relationship I’m starting to believe that the two offenses are very similar. I can generally avoid getting food on my clothes if I eat carefully. Once in a while I’ll slip up. If that “once in a while” isn’t that frequent, then I will earn the standard five-minute reminder to watch myself. If I do it too often, that I need a much stronger reminder. That isn’t because getting food on my shirt is a big deal. It’s because I’m not taking a rule seriously enough.

The same is true if I interrupt Mrs. Lion if I do it only occasionally, she might consider a five-minute reminder sufficient. If it happens more often, or if I take an attitude about it, then clearly I’m asking for a much more meaningful expression of her displeasure.

I’m starting to realize that it doesn’t really matter what the regulation I’m breaking is about. Anything I do that causes her displeasure deserves a warning. In our world, a warning is not a growl, it’s a five-minute spanking. I think this is completely fair. It guarantees I will pay close attention to “mistakes” I make. It also assures that I am focused on Mrs. Lion and how she is feeling.

I know this will result in a much freer applications of her paddle. I think that will be good for both of us. I’m hoping she will also begin using it at different times of day. If it’s possible to use it immediately after I do something that requires warning or correction, I hope she will take advantage of the opportunity.

If she uses the word “again”, I know I’m in trouble. Or I should say, I will know I’m in trouble. Punishment is a funny thing. It isn’t truly effective until it’s demonstrated. Unfortunately for me, it’s probably going to be demonstrated later today (I’m writing this on Monday late morning). As you know from her post the other day, I forgot “again”. I expect I will learn to avoid requiring her to use that word very often in the future.

Lion wasn’t feeling very well over the weekend. He had a sore throat and thought he might be coming down with something. It’s probably the same thing I’ve been fighting for a few weeks. He snoozed most of the evening. I owed him swats but I knew he needed sleep more than swats so I let him snooze.

This morning he’s feeling better. Maybe not all the way better, but enough to receive punishment tonight. I, on the other hand, an not feeling well. Right now I’m battling to stay awake. I’m confident that I’ll be doing better when I get home.

Since I didn’t punish him last night, I was thinking we’d be better off if I gave him his swats as soon as I walk through the door. Obviously I’ll need to get a little settled first, but shortly thereafter I should be able to whomp him. This will give him some time between his punishment and any play we do later on. It will also get me before I sink into the comfort of being home and not wanting to do anything.

Yesterday I made the short trek out to the camper to retrieve narrow paddles. I didn’t find what I was looking for but I found some suitable alternatives. I think the ones I was looking for are in the giant toy box. I’m just not up for rummaging through that. I found a crop that has a fairly narrow head and a somewhat lightweight wooden spoon with a handle of about an inch and a half. I think those will work fine in Lon’s crack. If not, I guess I’ll be digging into the toy box at some point.

For the moment, I’m focusing on his crack. I haven’t forgotten about the rest of his butt. I just want to concentrate on one thing at a time. Eventually, I’ll probably need multiple paddles to cover his whole butt. The narrow ones won’t do much damage to the more cushioned areas. I’ll need the big guns for that.

I guess we’ve come a long way since I started punishing Lion. I’m sure we still have a long way to go.

Sometimes I’m not too bright. For example, on Saturday morning I remembered it was punishment day. Mrs. Lion wasn’t in the room at the time so I figured I would wait and tell her when I saw her. I didn’t. It completely slipped my mind. You’d think I would remember because I know very well what happens when I forget.

When I did remember, it crossed my mind not to tell her because I sort of wanted a spanking. I quickly decided that was not a good thing to do because it felt dishonest. Maybe my unconscious mind made me forget. My very conscious bottom pays the price. You might also argue that Mrs. Lion planned to spank me anyway. She wants more practice working in the “crack”. That idea sort of excites me too. I would much rather receive a maintenance or practice spanking than a punishment one.

Yesterday morning I was thinking about how I would react to our blog if I had never considered a Female Led Relationship with Discipline or, for that matter, enforced male chastity. Both concepts are pretty strange. Then I started thinking about why I would consider them strange. Then it came to me.

The obvious reason is that I am subjecting myself to a loss of pleasure (orgasms) and painful punishments. This is happening in the context of marriage, an institution where two equals are bound together for life. Wait a minute! Two equals?

If you go by the situation comedies that were on television when I was a kid, husbands were the nominal heads of the household. However, the real intelligence and authority came from the wives. Husbands, think Ricky Ricardo, were constantly outsmarted by their cute “little” wives.

My parents seem to have no clear idea of who was in charge. When it suited her, my mother would tell me that my father would speak to me when I did something wrong. Neither of them ever spanked me. Otherwise, she seemed to do exactly what she pleased regardless of what my father thought about her activities or spending. Apparently, (I don’t remember this but the housekeepers who raised me told me) my parents would have long, loud fights. These fights had no resolution other than my father going off and drinking.

There was no real structure. My mom worked and had her own money. My father worked more and paid most of the bills. Absent was any real affection between them. They were horrible role models for my future.

This lack of tradition left me free to decide for myself what might work in my life. My first wife was, for want of a better word, submissive. She let me make any decision I cared for. I think a better explanation is that she left me to deal with the things that mattered. She was free to pursue her career and, after we had kids, become a doting mother.

We had a good sex life. It was absolutely vanilla; well we did have anal sex once in a while. There was no kink. I wanted to be spanked and once I asked her if she would. In a flat, unemotional way, she said, “No.” That was that. I guess it was this event that made me realize there was a lot more wrong with our marriage that I wanted to admit.

Mrs. Lion, as you know, has no problem spanking me. She did in the beginning but overcame that hurdle. I suppose that is strange. What can I tell you? Much, more importantly, is the dynamic we share.

In no way is Mrs. Lion a femdom. She’s an easy-going, wonderfully sweet woman. I never really wanted a classic dominant woman. My submissive desires are pretty limited. I like that she controls if and when I will get an orgasm and I like that she spanks me. I really don’t think that’s a big deal. Some people may consider it odd, but it’s harmless.

The much more significant change is the way the power dynamic evolves in our relationship. We are partners and we do pretty much everything together. From the beginning, she has deferred to me. This isn’t a problem for me, but I think that it could ultimately hurt our relationship.

Now we’re getting to what many people will believe is strange. In fact, I think that most of the people who enjoy male chastity will find this next part really odd. Instead of the BDSM, femdom sort of female authority (something I really don’t like), we are evolving into a true female-led marriage. It’s nothing like most people think about when they hear this expression. In fact, is very close to the way real lions relate to one another.

The females defer to the male almost all of the time. They let him eat first and have his way with the pride, up to a point. When he does something one of them doesn’t like, he gets a very painful bite on the rear end as a reminder that his authority only extends as far as the lionesses allow.

It’s the same dynamic we have in our marriage. Mrs. Lion is happy to go along with what I want until she isn’t. Then I learn of her displeasure via a painful punishment spanking.

Developing this dynamic hasn’t been easy for her. She has a strong sense of fairness. She doesn’t like the idea that she should punish me for something I didn’t know was wrong. This concept comes from raising children. It’s unfair to punish children if they don’t know they’ve done something they shouldn’t. I’ve argued it isn’t the same with adults. Adults should know better.

In vanilla marriages, dissatisfaction with the behavior of one mate may seem to be overlooked. Sooner or later as things accumulate, destructive behaviors emerge that can destroy the marriage. I felt this was particularly dangerous in Mrs. Lion and my marriage. Even though we both work hard to make each other happy, I’ve done things that upset her. Her typical reaction was to ignore my transgression and move on. Eventually, her anger would build up and she would give me the silent treatment. That’s particularly difficult for me to handle. I have a strong fear of rejection.

The solution is the FLRD we have now. The idea is that if I do something that displeases her, I get punished. Mrs. Lion prefers to spank me for punishment. She’s learning that it doesn’t matter if I have a rule for the behavior she doesn’t like or not. All that matters is that I’ve done something that displeases her. My punishment is an expression of her displeasure. Simple, right?

Yes, I have explicit rules I have to follow. More importantly, I will learn when Mrs. Lion is displeased with my behavior. She may growl at me. In fact, until very recently, that was all she would do. Now, she will growl and then at her earliest convenience, punish me.

I like this change. I don’t like the discomfort of the spanking. I really like that she lets me know in no uncertain terms when I’ve done something she doesn’t like. Since I don’t like having a sore bottom, I should quickly learn how to avoid repeating that behavior. Even if I do like a sore bottom, eventually enough is enough. One way or another, she gets to let me know and I learn to avoid repeating the error.

It’s not complicated. There are no BDSM rituals; just my bare bottom and her paddle. It’s always the same. Sometimes, the spanking will be longer and more severe. Generally, Mrs. Lion reserves those extra unpleasant sessions to things that she particularly dislikes or for things I can’t seem to learn. Forgetting Saturday punishment day appears to be one of those. Eventually, I will learn.

I don’t think it’s particularly strange or crazy. It represents a treaty between us. It’s an agreement that allows us to resolve the sort of emotionally loaded issues that hurt other relationships. It’s not dangerous. It almost certainly isn’t your cup of tea. It’s ours. I hope you understand.