In her post yesterday”The Pseudo-Stereotypical Marriage” Mrs. Lion discussed Friday night’s inability to get hard. That was a surprise to me. It’s a subject that I would rather not discuss. But as they say on courtroom shows, she opened the door. I guess I have to step through it.
She’s right. I just couldn’t get hard. That’s happened occasionally in the past. This time, before trying to get me hard, Mrs. Lion lassoed and tied up my balls. This is usually a surefire way to get my motor running. Nothing. I don’t get it. [Mrs. Lion — I did realize after I tied him up that I should have tried to get him hard first.]
It’s been more than a week since I’ve been spanked. I would think that’s a good thing. Maybe I miss it. I certainly don’t have a good time while Mrs. Lion is beating my butt. Apparently, other parts of me do.
Before we go out and test this theory I hope Mrs. Lion will give me another chance. Of course, if it turns out that I need a regular spanking, Mrs. Lion is certainly up to the task and doesn’t mind delivering.
Times like this are always difficult. I start wondering if I am broken. I certainly hope not. Aside from being really big fun, sex, including Mrs. Lion’s teasing, is a wonderful way to bring us closer. I suppose our domestic discipline is too. Both involve physical contact.
I haven’t checked my spreadsheet, but I’m sure it’s been more than three days since my last orgasm. There’s been no teasing since then. That means I haven’t had an erection.
Before getting in any deeper, I’ll just wait and see what happens. One way or another things will work out. Wouldn’t it be ironic if my butt had to be red before my cock would stand up?
On Friday Mrs. Lion didn’t try extreme (oral) methods to get me hard. It might be that her mouth could be just as effective as her paddle. That would give her a choice.
Maybe I’m overthinking. Perhaps I was too tired or my allergy pills affected me in a new way. I’m sure Mrs. Lion will keep you posted. I’m not sure I will.
One failed erection is nothing to apologize for. In the overall scheme of things, it’s not a big deal. To me, of course. To a guy, not being able to get it up can be catastrophic. Are my playboy days over? Am I no longer a man? Lion and I have been together for a long time. I don’t base his manhood on his, well, manhood. I certainly wouldn’t base it on one night.
Maybe he wasn’t really in the mood for ball bondage. Maybe he was really looking forward to my spanking experiment starting again and when I said I didn’t think it was necessary, a fantasy was gone. Of course it wasn’t necessary. None of this is really necessary. Air is necessary. Spanking experiments are not.
I could be oversimplifying. Perhaps he wasn’t fantasizing about the experiment. Maybe it was 8:27 pm and he thought it was too late to play. Maybe it was Friday night. Maybe it was 72 degrees in the house. It could have been anything. Or nothing. I don’t think we need to put too much importance on it. And yet, here I am, writing a post about it. Why? I don’t know.
Sometimes when I start out writing a post, I go way the hell off the rails before I get back on track. I started thinking about last night and how much of a big deal it wasn’t. I mean, why apologize to me? Shit happens. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve disappointed Lion by what I did or didn’t do for him. If you’ve been reading the blog from the beginning, you know we started male chastity because I all but ignored him sexually. We fell into the stereotypical marriage where the wife never wants sex and the poor husband has to beg for it. Locking him up was the “cure” for that.
Ironically, we’re now the pseudo-stereotypical marriage where the wife never wants sex and the poor husband has to beg for it. The difference is that the poor husband gets teased within an inch of his life most nights without the satisfaction of having an orgasm. That sounds the same doesn’t it? Still no love for the poor Lion. There’s a lot of difference, of course. Lion gets sexual attention even if he doesn’t get his long sought after orgasm. He gets frustrated and horny and he loves every minute of it. Okay, maybe not every minute. He certainly loves it more than he did before we started male chastity. He’d much rather have blue balls this way, I bet.
So last night’s miscue is not a big deal. We’ll try again and again until we get it right. Practice makes perfect.
Over a week has gone by since my last spanking. I’ve managed to remember to set up the coffeepot and remind Mrs. Lion of punishment days. I’ve also avoided pissing her off. If this holds until Monday, I might get a maintenance spanking.
The concept of maintenance spankings seems odd to most people. After all, why is my “reward” for continued good behavior a painful, punishment-level spanking? It’s a good question. Shouldn’t it earn a reward instead?
I think that this gets to the heart of a disciplinary marriage. My male interest in being spanked prompted me to ask for this. At the least, it means at some level I want to be spanked. That was my original motive. It isn’t the reason why I believe in painful maintenance.
Mrs. Lion and I are creatures of habit. If we let too much time pass between activities, we tend to forget to do them. In the past, when for one reason or another we suspended our disciplinary activities, it was difficult to restart them. Scheduled maintenance spankings serve to remind both of us that just because I avoided getting into trouble, I am not subject to being punished.
In a very real sense, it refreshes our focus on domestic discipline. For her part, Mrs. Lion is reminded of her role and the consequences she delivers as my disciplinary wife. It reminds me of what happens if I break a rule. It’s all too easy for me to forget just how unhappy a spanking makes me. I might be tempted to get lazy.
a postcard from the dentist
Of course, if I didn’t get that maintenance spanking and Mrs. Lion remains diligent, the first time I slip I would be painfully reminded of the errors of my ways. The maintenance spanking is like a postcard from your dentist. It keeps you aware you need to do something, even if it is unpleasant.
Ironically, the maintenance spanking isn’t terribly useful in keeping me focused on specific rules. Based on our experience, I tend to “forget” a rule several weeks after being spanked for the last time I forgot it. It’s odd since I am aware this happens, I still can’t seem to avoid forgetting.
Perhaps the maintenance spankings will extend the time between infractions. I don’t think so. Their purpose is to keep us both focused. It seems to be necessary for us.
new spanking experiments
Mrs. Lion mentioned that she may restart her spanking “experiments”. Since she found more paddles, she mentioned that she might want to see if she can work out how to reliably make me feel the results of a spanking for at least two days after I get it.
There is only one way to do this: experiment. If she decides to resume, maintenance spankings won’t be necessary. Last time she experimented it lasted for a few weeks. She did manage to make one or two of her experiments hurt for more than two days. Unfortunately, she didn’t make note of what she did to produce that result.
Since I seem to be staying out of trouble, scheduled experiments are the only way she can refine her technique and discover the tools that produce the results she wants.
Last night I brought out the Box O’Fun and asked Lion if he wanted to play. He said he did and chose ball bondage. Then he asked if we could put it off a day. I agreed. It may seem odd that I agree to delay things. I do this because I don’t think it makes any sense to play with Lion when he doesn’t want to play. Punishment should go on, but play is voluntary.
What I found odd is Lion wanting to delay ball bondage. He likes being tied up. I wonder if he would have wanted to play if he chose something different. You’ll remember he wanted to pick again when he chose a coconut oil hand job the other day. Does he have his mind set on one thing and, when he doesn’t choose it, he doesn’t want to continue? Am I giving him too much of a say in it? Or should I flat out ask him what he’d rather do?
The purpose of the Box O’Fun is to avoid inertia. It would be too easy for us to say, “I don’t care. What do you want to do?” to each other and be stuck doing nothing. I bring out the box and ask if he wants to choose so he can decide if he’s up for playing. To me, this is reasonable. I can decide I don’t want to play by not bringing out the box. Until we started using the box, Lion had no way of telling me he wasn’t in the mood. However, what if he has his heart set on just having a blow job? No ball swats or clothespins. Just a blow job. The box does not offer that option. What if he chose Icy Hot but what he really wants is ball bondage? Should he be able to put off the Icy Hot and ask for ball bondage instead? Eventually he’d have to have the Icy Hot because he chose it, but does that mean he shouldn’t get any action at all?
As it is right now, if Lion doesn’t choose from the Box O’Fun or if he asks to put off the activity, nothing else happens. I guess I’ve been assuming if he isn’t in the mood for whatever he chose, it means he’s not in the mood for anything. Couldn’t he say, “I don’t want to choose, but can we snuggle?” I think so. And I’m leaning toward allowing him to suggest an alternative choice. We’d still be avoiding inertia and isn’t that the point?