Despite his orgasm, I thought Lion’s birthday was anticlimactic. We usually plan something or I get him a present. This year, all bets were off. Between his illnesses, the move, the bird, and work I haven’t had much time to do anything. I was barely able to pick up a birthday card. We’ll go out to eat, but it just seems like a blah birthday. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe Lion is fine with everything. I did manage to find the box with more of his clothes in it. I count that as a win, if not a birthday present.

Lion didn’t want his birthday swats this year. I was surprised. He loves spankings. He said spanking is for punishment now. Bummer! I know how much he loves play spankings. In my mind, I was scrambling to come up with some other sort of punishment to replace spanking. I certainly didn’t mean to take away his play spankings. I’m sorry about that.

I know we haven’t done much along the lines of play spankings in a very long time. Lion thinks I prefer CBT. I only do it more often because it’s easier. I don’t necessarily prefer it. I know it’s the stress of the whole year crashing down on me, but I feel like I’m screwing things up. If I had kept up on play spankings, would Lion still want them? It feels like I’m mourning the loss of play spankings even though we haven’t been doing them.

I think I’m getting to the end of my rope. I need a break but there’s still so much to do to get the house even halfway livable. I just never meant to take away an avenue of pleasure from Lion.

[Lion — I am fine with giving up play spankings. We almost never did them anyway and I believe that their current use is ultimately better for us both. I did not have a bad birthday. Mrs. Lion gave me a world-class blow job and a delicious take-out Chinese dinner. She’s been working very hard to settle us in our new home. She doesn’t need to feel pressured to have given me more for my birthday.]

If you want to see graphic evidence of a big difference between men and women, take a look at any of the social media that allow posting of naked pictures. The vast majority of the images are of naked women. I don’t think this is because women don’t like seeing naked men. It’s more that women are more selective about which naked men they want to see.

As a guy, I’m much less discriminating. I admit it; I like seeing all sorts of naked women. I don’t imagine myself having sex with them. I just like seeing vaginas and assess. I’m not really a breast man.

All this is instinctive. Males of most species are genetically programmed to react to females. We respond to visual stimuli, especially female parts we find arousing. Women, on the other hand, have a more pragmatic perspective. Since they have to live with the result of sex, offspring, their genes programmed them to look for good providers and protectors.

Recent studies have revealed that female mammals will choose to live with males who are good providers and protectors, but might go out and look for some other male who is physically more attractive for mating. What this means is that despite their protests to the contrary, women are subject to the visual stimulation provided by seeing sexually attractive men.

Since their unconscious objective is a search for the most physically desirable sexual partner, as opposed to the male objective of mating with any willing female, they are far less likely to indiscriminately enjoy naked pictures of men.

One of the most interesting behavioral patterns displayed by almost all mammals is that the females have a veto over any male decision. My favorite mammals, lions, were always believed to be a male-dominant species. After all, males always feed first and the females and cubs wait for them to finish before they get a chance to eat.

Recent research reveals the opposite to be true. Yes, the males do feed first. This is a genetic adaptation that assures that the males are at full fighting form at all times. The much larger males protect the pride from incursions of other lions. Very often this means that the females and cubs don’t get enough to eat.

Since the males are much larger and apparently fiercer, the assumption was made that they control life. Actually, a lion pride is composed of the females, almost always sisters. Males spend an average of only two years with the pride. At that point they leave or are expelled by the females.

This serves to protect the gene pool. If the males are driven out before their female cubs are old enough to mate, it eliminates the risk of father mating with daughters. It was believed that as the lion aged, younger, stronger lions would drive him out and replace him in the pride.

This is incorrect. The lionesses control all of this. They decide when it’s time for one lion to leave and will select a new lion when one they like comes along. Also, aside from the dinner table, lionesses wield all the power. If their lion does anything to displease, he will get a very painful bite on his butt.

Maybe this is why I like to identify with lions. The way things work at our house is very similar to lion behavior. Mrs. Lion is happy to let me make decisions regarding where we go to dinner and other relatively unimportant household activities. However, if I do something she doesn’t like, I feel her paddle on my rear end.

Of course, we made a conscious decision to run our lives this way. Most people don’t have such clear-cut lines of authority. I suspect that the lack of them may be at the root of marital problems.

I’m not claiming that only female-led relationships succeed. I am saying that couples who agree on which partner is the ultimate authority are way more likely to successfully remain happily together. The reason for this, I think, is that issues of disagreement don’t turn into power struggles. The agreement that one partner, in our case Mrs. Lion, is the authority to make final decisions eliminates the very dangerous kind of stress: the power struggle. I may not like her decision, but I remember that we agreed she has the last word. In our case she also has the right to punish me.

That doesn’t mean she is always right. It means that we have agreed that right or wrong, she has the final say. We further agreed that she may discipline me if I fail to behave in a way she wants. That’s the part that freaks many people out.

Since neither of us comes from a disciplinary family background — there was no authority figure who punished in our families — we have no context to base what we do on past experience. We’ve had to develop our own style through trial and error.

It’s entirely too easy to attribute what we do as BDSM, femdom play. After all, femdom activities are very similar to our disciplinary relationship. Both are consensual and use the same basic tools and techniques. That makes it easy for an outsider to assume we are practicing femdom scenes.

The difference is more profound than you might imagine. First and foremost, disciplinary activity isn’t for our entertainment. I am spanked as a way of teaching me to correct the objectionable behavior. Mrs. Lion tries hard to consistently punish me when I do things she wants me to stop. She also punishes me when I fail to do things she wants.

The next natural mistake people make is to assume we have a parent/child thing going. Mrs. Lion can appear to be a maternal figure controlling an unruly child: me. Nothing could be further from the truth. She is my partner. We consider ourselves both to be adults. She spanks me because it’s an excellent way to condition me to behave as she wishes. She has the right to do this because we have agreed on our roles.

It doesn’t mean that she makes all the decisions. Actually, I make most of them. It has nothing to do with that. She will let me do as I wish so long as what I do is within the boundaries she has set for me. They aren’t explicitly stated. We don’t have a complex agreement that spells out what I can and can’t do. I accept that she will decide at the time if I need correction.

She has some options: She can choose to inform me that what I am doing is a spankable offense. If I continue, she will spank me at her earliest convenience. If I stop, I am to consider myself warned and if I do it again, I will be spanked. She can also decide that I will be punished without warning. She will inform me that I earned a spanking and then she will deliver it when she can. I trust her completely. She has been very reluctant to exercise this authority. I hope that she will continue to grow in her role.

Our behavior is much closer to other mammals then the typical American marriage. We have no power struggles. Anytime I fail to remember my role, I get reminded by her paddle.

I realize that this is sexually exciting to think about. That doesn’t mean it is sex or BDSM. It simply means that I am programmed to respond sexually. This sexual response assures that I will willingly accept painful discipline. For the record, any sexual excitement is gone within seconds of when Mrs. Lion starts using her paddle. It seems weird to me that I am fully aware of how this works, yet, I can’t help myself from getting aroused when I think about it. There is a lot more lion in me than I thought when I first adopted this nickname.

Today is Lion’s birthday. The dog and I both gave him cards this morning. I’m bringing home Chinese food for dinner. I don’t know what the dog has planned for lunch. I assume we’ll head out to dinner on the weekend. We have our eye on a local steakhouse that has gotten positive reviews by my coworkers. It might be worth a try.

Since I reinstated the rules, I’ve lost track of which days are punishment days. I think I’m losing what’s left of my mind. Between being upset about the bird, having three migraines in four days, trying to unpack, and my impending sinus headache/cold I have no idea what’s going on. If, for example, I reinstated the rules on Monday, then Lion missed telling me about punishment day. If he assumed I hadn’t reinstated the rules until after I punished him to clear out the old punishments, then he didn’t miss a thing. I think we’ll operate under the latter.

For the record, Lion has been very good about waiting until I eat, or until I give him permission. He spilled food on his shirt or the comforter the other night but I told him not to worry about it. When I feel better and/or less stressed, I’ll be more on top of things. However, I am trying to catch him.

Now, on his birthday, I usually give Lion a fun spanking. Since it’s Unlocktober, by his rules, I should not play with him. I should just give him an orgasm and be done with it. Feh. I say I can still give him a play spanking. He needs his birthday swats and a pinch to grow an inch. Happily, it works out that he’s due for an orgasm tonight. Even if he wasn’t, I’d give him one.

This every other day schedule of orgasms may soon fizzle out. I don’t know how long Lion can keep up with it. I’m game if he is, although one of his rules is that it takes as long as it takes. What if he can’t make it? I’m not going to keep trying if he wants to stop. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we hope. If he can’t get to the promised land one night, we’ll try again the next. I’m not going anywhere. But I hope he’ll be able to have his birthday orgasm tonight.

Life inevitably intrudes into the things we like to do. Our blog chronicles our adventures in enforced male chastity and a Female Led Relationship with Discipline. We had a very good run: over five years before life turned around and bit us. When something happens that overshadows the sexual side of things, a blog like ours can take one of three possible courses: It can stop publishing, it can obsess on the trials and tribulations of its writers, or it can go on as though nothing ever happened.

I’ve seen blogs go in all three of those directions. I think we are a little different. We haven’t focused exclusively on the sexual aspects of our lives. We’ve shared with you other life events that affect us. Mrs. Lion and I have discussed how much we should share. It’s not that we don’t think you should know things, but rather we are concerned you might lose interest if we focus on the non-sexual events.

To date, we’ve shared when it seemed relevant. Blogging requires some hard decisions. A very large percentage of our readers find us through searches on various topics we write about. It’s unlikely most of them will have any investment in us and will probably consider non-sexual content as unwelcome distractions. A reasonably large number of our readers follow us every day. I’d like to think that this group is interested in a more three-dimensional view of our lives.

Today is my birthday. It feels appropriate for me to use this post to talk about what’s happened to me over the last year or so. The content of this post is not about sex.

In the late summer of 2016 I got a new job and had the very good opportunity of visiting headquarters. I was put up in a wonderful luxury resort and had time to enjoy local attractions. My first night, I visited a really nice Italian restaurant. After dinner, I was walking leisurely back to my rental car. I tripped on a curb and came down hard on my right arm.

My arm kept hurting even a month after I fell. I visited my doctor and he thought I might have injured my rotator cuff. Over the next six months I got three steroid injections into the injured area. They relieved the pain for a while but it invariably came back. Eventually I saw a sports medicine surgeon who sent me for a MRI and then diagnosed a very badly torn rotator cuff.

In March 2018 I had surgery to repair it. It was a very painful recovery and I was inactive for two months. Mrs. Lion took great care of me. We really couldn’t pursue enforced male chastity very well. Though, once I was sufficiently recovered, my sex life was rigidly controlled as though I were wearing a chastity device.

Recovery from shoulder surgery is very slow. As I improved we became more active. Life returned to normal. After the surgery, I noticed that I had lost some sensation in my right hand. I mentioned this to the doctor who had no suggestion as to what caused it. Not long after, I noticed that my balance was poor. I couldn’t walk a straight line with one foot in front of the other. I went back to the doctor who referred me to a neurologist.

The neurologist correctly read my symptoms and sent me for an MRI of my cervical spine (neck). The MRI revealed that the discs in my neck were compressing the spinal cord. This needed immediate surgery because should my neck get any sudden shock, I could end up as a quadriplegic. I had surgery to correct that about six months ago.

As a result of the surgery, my right arm suffers something called C-5 palsy. The deltoid muscle doesn’t connect properly with my brain. As a result, I have trouble lifting that arm. Over the months, the arm has improved but I am still unable to lift it very high. Also as a result of the surgery, my balance has gotten worse.

The neurosurgeon says that spinal cord is not transmitting accurate information about the location of my feet. This makes me unsteady and a bit wobbly when I walk; almost as though I were drunk. He’s not optimistic this will get better. I’m walking with a cane which does seem to help.

In between all these things, I had kidney stones a couple of times and required surgery for that. I’m hoping that I will continue to improve and I will be doing physical therapy make the most of what I do have left.

If that wasn’t enough, last August (2018) I developed glaucoma. It’s been difficult to control and I’ve lost most of the vision in my left eye and almost all the peripheral vision in my right. I’ve had three eye surgeries to help alleviate it. Needless to say, this makes it difficult for me to get around.

Mrs. Lion has been amazing through all this. She’s a devoted partner and has had to pick up a lot of the things I used to do. She uncomplainingly does this. I really don’t think I could have survived without her help.

Because of the loss of sensation in fingers, I’ve been using voice-to-text software to do my writing. It comes up with some pretty funny translations of things I say that Mrs. Lion and I try to catch before my posts are published.

Throughout all this we have resolved to continue male chastity and our FLRD. So far, it’s working. On Monday night Mrs. Lion retrieved a very mean paddle from our camper and spanked me with it. Her normal collection of paddles remains buried in one of our moving boxes, along with most of my clothes. All the stuff will surface eventually.

If I didn’t mention it, we also had to move. At the beginning of August our landlord advised us that they were going to sell the house we had been renting for 13 years. We found another house nearby and Mrs. Lion had to pack our things and supervise the move. The moving trucks didn’t have enough room for all of our possessions, so she ferryied the overflow through much of September.

Sounds like a soap opera, doesn’t it? I’m just wondering if somehow karma decided my number was up. It was time to give me my share of bad luck.

I’ve had a pretty terrific life. I’ve gone on adventures in almost every continent of the earth. Virtually all my wishes have come true and my bucket list is empty. Most importantly, I found Mrs. Lion and she fell in love with me. I know it sounds corny, but we really are soul mates. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I will be eternally grateful she came into my life.

Okay, there it is: a summary of the stuff we have been going through during the last year or so. I’m not claiming we have had a soap opera of horrible experiences. Other people have suffered much worse.

My main take away is that she and I are totally committed to one another and we have decided to pursue enforced male chastity and our Female Led Relationship with Discipline as much as we can despite life’s intrusions.

Thank you for staying with us. I know it’s impossible that everything we write will appeal to you. From my perspective it feels very good to know that you are interested enough keep reading our blog.