Domestic Discipline’s Dirty Little Secret
I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to admit that I want to be spanked. I’m not alone. Outside of limited BDSM circles, where spanking enthusiasts meet in person, not too many people are willing to reveal this interest.
I haven’t seen any studies about how many adults actually get spanked versus the number who dream about it. We know that around 80 percent of US and Canadian adults have had spanking dreams. The large majority of those dreams had the dreamer being spanked, not doing the spanking. Wouldn’t that make those of us who actually get spanked the lucky ones? Shouldn’t we be bragging about it?
Well, no.
People who get spanked fall into two general groups: BDSM players and disciplinary spanking recipients. The BDSM folks freely admit (to other BDSM folks) that they want to be spanked. The second group is more interesting.
The recipients of disciplinary spankings exhibit a spectrum of rationalization. Take a look at the non-religious domestic discipline websites. Guys who want their wives to spank them and want to believe there is a reason for the spankings other than a deep desire for them create an interesting situation to frame the practice.
The key is that this group says that they need to be spanked to be better men. They consent to disciplinary spankings so their wives can train them to behave better. Does that mean they need maternal authority to flourish?
Mrs. Lion spanks me and punishes me when I break a rule she has made for me. Does that mean she is exercising maternal authority? She doesn’t think so, and neither do I. She may be playing a disciplinary maternal role because I asked her to, but she isn’t actually assuming that uncomfortable position.
The problem with the concept of a female-led relationship (FLR) is that it usually translates to the woman becoming an authoritarian figure (mommy?) who actively manages and punishes her partner. It’s a hot fantasy but not usually a viable reality.
reality checks help make DD work
While I realize that Mrs. Lion spanks me because I asked her to, it doesn’t change the fact that I get punished when I break a rule. Too many guys focus on the disciplinary process–let’s face it, it’s hot–and overlook that their wives are providing a needed service. It’s way more fun to stay in the role of disciplined husband.
Mrs. Lion and I have a balance when it comes to domestic discipline. While I’ve consented to her having broad authority over me, I lead more than I follow. It works better for us that way. Sure, it’s fun to write about my trips to the spanking bench. It’s more fun when there is a reason for the trip. So, yes, I am a disciplined husband. My wife spanks me to change my behavior. It’s true domestic discipline.
However, I’m a disciplined husband because I want it that way. Mrs. Lion is providing me with an important service by making sure she beats my bottom regularly. If I didn’t ask her to do it, she wouldn’t. It was my idea. I have to admit it; I need to be spanked regularly.
An Hour Long Spanking?
I guess I’m spanking Lion tonight for sure. He technically already had an offense on the books. Last night he forgot his pills again. I don’t think he reminded me today is punishment day, and I just realized he hasn’t been sending me emails. In his defense, I always forgot about the emails. In fact, the last one he sent was March 1. Does that mean I can whomp him for many, many, many days of missing it?
He will have to be content with a ten, maybe fifteen, -minute spanking tonight. Whatever hurt feelings he may have over the missing punishment pales in comparison to the hurt buns he’d have if I were to give him an hour long spanking. (I didn’t actually calculate how long the spanking would be, but I’m sure neither of us could stand an hour.)
I don’t know if I’ll stick to leather or if I’ll throw in some swats with a wood paddle. It stands to reason that leather would allow me to hit longer than wood and still maintain a non-bloody butt. Maybe I’ll save wood until the very end so I can go for some lasting memories.
“I Do It Because I Love Him”
A reader commented on my post, “Mrs. Lion’s New Paddle Is On The Way.” It was a typical question from, shall we say, an uninformed reader:
“Does Mrs. Lion ever paddle other submissive men who need it. I think she would be in great demand.
Mr. Lion, what do you crave and like so much about hard spankings?”
I usually delete comments like this, but this time, Mrs. Lion responded. Her response is very telling:
“I do not spank anyone else. I do it for Lion because he wants it and I love him.”
A very sweet response. The reader, he calls himself Johnsk, is clearly living in his fantasy world. Ms. Lion and almost every other disciplinary wife spanks her husband because he has a need she is fulfilling. One of my goals is to help other men understand the realities of male chastity and domestic discipline.
Everyone loves stories. Men who fantasize about being spanked have a lot of stories they can read about men being punished and paddled. Virtually all of them are written to turn on the men who dream about being spanked. Very few are honest perspectives from the women who do the spanking.
Some women get sexually aroused when they spank a man. A subset of them get turned on when they punish a man for an infraction. The reality is that this is not a very high percentage of spanking wives. I’ve known women who get aroused by spanking a man. I’ve never met any who actively search for male butts to spank. I’m sure there are some, but for practical purposes, assuming our wives are in that group makes no sense.
Mrs. Lion has been spanking me for almost two decades. It took her years to become comfortable, spanking me as hard as I needed. It never turned her on. For many years, it bothered her to hurt me. Eventually, she understood that those painful spankings were good for me, and therefore, an act of love.
I spent a long time as a top. Sometimes, spanking a woman turned me on. Often it didn’t. I did it as a service to her. I also enjoyed the skill I could display in doing a “good” job on her bottom. The point is that the person delivering the spanking doesn’t necessarily share the feelings that the person being spanked has. Ironically, most spankers understand this, but the spankees almost never do. This is clearly illustrated in the comment we received.
Even if Mrs. Lion doesn’t get pleasure from spanking me, she enjoys seeing the positive effect it has on me. Let’s face it, spanking is work. In the context of domestic discipline, it isn’t fun. It’s punishment. Punishing someone is work, too. My point is that it doesn’t make sense to believe that letting someone spank you is a reward in itself. Getting someone to spank you is an enormous favor to you. Because Mrs. Lion loves me, and because it helps correct small behavioral issues, she spanks me. It isn’t her hobby or profession. Please don’t ask her to spank you. She won’t.
Still A Lot To Do
I have been trying to bank extra hours at work to make up for leaving early Friday to take Lion to a doctor’s appointment. When I get off work, there’s usually something that needs to be done, not including unpacking, and when I finally sit down, it’s time to get back up to make dinner. My coffee break is used for doing chores; today was starting the laundry. My lunch break is also used for chores. We get food deliveries and packages from Amazon on an almost daily basis that I have to bring in and open/put away. Is it any wonder I’m less interested in spanking Lion?
Yes, there will always be something that needs to be done. Always. My breaks and lunches have been spent on chores for months, long before we had to move. The chores have just multiplied with the move. First, it was packing. Now it’s unpacking. I have several boxes sitting around partially unpacked because something was needed. Lion’s mantra of “unpack it and put it right away” works if I know where that “away” is. Sometimes, it’s buried under other boxes. Sometimes, there never was an “away,” and that’s why the house was always a mess.
I’m not on the verge of punching a tree, but I’m heading in that direction. Lion has suggested that I used some of that frustration to spank him. Oh, he doesn’t really want that. I might hurt him for real. Do I have anger management issues? I think I just have a low threshold for frustration. Or maybe it’s actually high, and I have a lot of frustration. In either case, I won’t be whomping Lion in the heat of it.
That said, I do owe him some swats. He forgot to get his pills the other night. And, of course, tomorrow is punishment day. He’s been doing better getting his pills, and he also put on his necklace that he stopped wearing when his allergies were bothering him. Two wins for the Lion. Two wins for me, too, since I don’t have to swat him when he behaves.
I also have to work on the length between orgasms. It was unintentionally long last time. Between unpacking and one of us not feeling well, we could not get anything going. We did try once, a few days before his last orgasm. It was an experiment to see if he needed the Edex anymore. Spoiler alert: he does. But it was fun trying anyway.
