Since I’ve been locked up, the decision about whether or not I can have an orgasm has been taken out of my hands, pun intended. Friday night Mrs. Lion gave me a “Good Lion” coupon (see photo, right). This coupon is very special. It gives me the ability to get the orgasm of my choice at any time between now and the end of the year. Best of all, unlike my anniversary love coupons, it doesn’t restart the clock on my wait. For example, I am eleven days into a twenty-one day wait. If I used an anniversary coupon tonight, my twenty-one days would start all over again tomorrow. Last Night’s Good Lion coupon would allow me to come and not change the scheduled orgasm date.
I have been very horny. Eleven days is a long time to me. Friday night, besides the coupon, Mrs. Lion put nasty, plastic clothespins on my balls while she played with me. The mix of pain and pleasure was amazing. According to the LionTracker, she used six plastic clothespins on my balls and edged me three times. I really wanted to come! I still do.
I mentioned that to Mrs. Lion and grumbled a bit. She laughed. She said,
You want to know why I’m laughing?
Because you have a coupon and can come if you want. So your grumbling is just silly.
It wasn’t what I had expected her to say. I expected, “Because you still have ten days to go!” Actually, that is what I would have rather heard. Some perverse part of me likes it when she is assertive and reminds me of my plight. I did like that she laughed.
But what about that coupon? It’s a sort of “get out of jail free” card for me. Something about using it feels wrong. Is that silly? I have no problem with the coupons that restart my time. That feels right in a power exchange. I have been given a couple of opportunities to come if I really want to, but at a price. I only have two, so I can’t always reset when I get tired of waiting. If I were my keyholder, I would have made the price higher. I would have allowed the orgasm and restarted the wait time plus one week. But that’s just me. I haven’t used either of those coupons.
I mentioned to Mrs. Lion that I would have preferred her taking some time off my wait rather than let me have a free orgasm. That puzzled her. Why would that reward be different? I wasn’t sure at the time, but after thinking about it, I realize that by reducing my wait, she still controls when I get release. The coupon lets me control it. I don’t want sexual control. I feel better about “buying” an unscheduled orgasm (by restarting the clock) than I do about just taking one. Yes, I know she gave me the coupon, so she is still controlling things. It’s irrational, but it’s how I feel.
We also had a brief Punishment discussion. We have both learned there are things I love to hate and things I just hate. Punishment spankings are very unpleasant and I hate then when I get them; something I love to hate. While I haven’t experienced it yet, extending my wait time or leaving me in my cage without play are things I really don’t want. So far, I haven’t had to experience those things. In fact, I have no idea what I would have to do to earn either.
It’s all two sides of the same coin. On the reward side, I really want that bonus orgasm. I’m extremely horny. But it feels wrong to me to redeem the coupon. I wish I could trade it for a day or two less wait. That’s a reward that feels better to me. On the other side of the coin, I like that Mrs. Lion punishes me sometimes. She isn’t very consistent yet, but she is well on her way. I don’t want to earn extra days, but I do want to feel what it is like to get a punishment I absolutely hate. And, of course, I don’t want to spend days locked in my cage with no attention. Poor Mrs. Lion. She has to figure me out and I can’t even do that!
I started this post early Saturday (9/20) morning. It’s close to noon now. After she woke up, I talked about this with Mrs. Lion. She read this post. She said she doesn’t understand at all. I asked if she would consider trading the orgasm for days off my wait. She didn’t answer. Meanwhile, that coupon was burning a hole in my pocket well not my pocket, I have to be naked at home. It was on the dresser. I could hear it calling to me. I was feeling those familiar twitches between my legs. I gave in!
I got up, grabbed the coupon and handed it to Mrs. Lion.
Now?, she asked.
No, anytime today you want.
That’s it. I caved. I updated my daily status to “9” I may explode if I don’t get to come today! and will deal with my conscience once I get release. Theoretically, I can select how I get to come. I can’t decide. Maybe I will leave it up to Mrs. Lion to decide. I’m sure she will tell you what happened in her post tomorrow.
For weeks I haven’t really been feeling well. Nothing specific. Just lack of sleep and achiness. Normal for me, but after a while it wears me down to the point that any activity is a chore. This week, without knowing how I was feeling and without being asked, Lion has taken care of dinner most nights. He’s an excellent cook, but I know he doesn’t like making dinner every night anymore than I do. So, to let him know his thoughtfulness was not unnoticed, I decided to reward him.
What do you give a Lion who has everything? A Good Lion coupon good for one bonus orgasm, of course. Well I could have given him a day or two off his “sentence”. Or I could have let him be wild for a day. But I knew the bonus orgasm would be very enticing. Now he’ll have to decide if and when he wants to use it.
But is it just any old bonus orgasm coupon? No it is not. This one comes with the added bonus of not resetting the wait clock. A true bonus orgasm. And, because I’m such a nice person, Lion does not have to use it until December 31, 2014. As I told him, there’s no external pressure to use the coupon quickly. Only his own internal pressure.
It will be interesting to see if he stays the course and waits his full twenty-one days, or if he caves in and uses the coupon. He could always save it. Who knows how long I’ll make him wait in the future?
It occurs to me that to an outside observer, those of us practicing enforced chastity appear to be obsessed with our penises. If you go around the Internet and read the articles, blogs, and forums, it’s easy to get the impression that there are a lot of men and their keyholders spending vast amounts of time discussing penises that aren’t supposed to be used for sex. I alone have written well over 100,000 words on the subject of enforced chastity and my penis. We even have a LionTracker that tracks my sexual activities and feelings in the tiniest detail. Recording all this information takes time and energy, and means that at least as long as it takes to do and record all the stuff here, my penis is in the front of my mind.
On a more basic level it shouldn’t be surprising that I think about sex so much. Study after study revealed that males think about sex at least twice every waking minute. So its apparently normal to have a lot of interest in ones penis. But my interest is in giving up my penis and not having sex without Mrs. Lion providing it. Shouldn’t that make me less interested in thinking about it? Apparently not.
It’s true. I think about sex more now than I have in memory. My cage constantly reminds me that my penis is no longer under my control. Mrs. Lion keeps me in an almost continuous state of heat. I get non-orgasmic stimulation at least every other day. Things are pretty much rigged to keep me heavily involved with my penis 24/7.
If you read the Journal, you must have the impression that my life revolves around enforced chastity. It doesn’t. My priorities are far more mundane. First and foremost is Mrs. Lion. She means everything to me. Her happiness and well being are my top priorities. Then, of course, I have to work and provide the money we need to live. After that come the usual day-to-day needs of life. Then comes pleasure. My main pleasure nowadays is the sexual energy I am getting from enforced chastity and my other kinks. Sex has become my favorite hobby. I guess if butterfly collecting was on the top of my list, then that would be what you would read about here.
Is my obsession really my penis? I don’t think about it very much at all. It isn’t very distinguished; barely an inch and a half long, living in a cage that makes it hard to pee. No, not that interesting. Even when stimulated, it’s not that imposing. No, it isn’t my penis.
If I am obsessed, it is with sexual satisfaction. What was once something I could handle in a few minutes all by myself, is now subject to an externally imposed schedule, teasing without satisfaction, and long waits between orgasms. Yes, that’s the obsession. I do spend a lot of time thinking about my next teasing session, spanking, anal play, and of course orgasm.
I am playing a game where the prize is the sexual satisfaction I used to take for granted. I have lost the ability to get myself off. I can’t even get hard without Mrs. Lion. So yes, all this bottled up desire to come, the constant knowledge that I have given up control of my sexual satisfaction, and the sensations of wearing a cage day and night have indeed brought sex to the foreground of my life.
This heightened sexual consciousness is one of the best things about enforced male chastity. It adds an element of excitement to my days and nights. It’s big fun.
Yesterday I talked about the Lion Tracker. I mentioned that it shows what I do to Lion and how I feel about things, but it doesn’t show how Lion feels. I thought it would be interesting to know if he felt more or less horny as the days progressed and after play sessions. As I suspected, I only need to mention it and he springs into action.
Lion used a graphic that looks like an O so I’m calling it his O Meter. It is, after all, tracking his need for an orgasm. The scale ranges from “Barely thinking about sex” to “All I can think about is getting off!” I’m betting most of his data will be in the middle of the scale although by day twenty-one he may be all the way to the top.
I’m curious to see how the information from both charts mesh. When I tease him, will his horniness level increase? When I give him a ruined orgasm, will it increase or decrease? He’s been trying to figure it out. This may give him the concrete evidence he’s looking for. If nothing else it’s a fun tool to look at the ups and downs of his horniness over time.
Of course, it does reduce things to science and calculations, and that’s not what this experiment is about at all. These are our intimate details in graphic form. The best part about it is that we have to create those intimate details before we can report them.