You Cum Too Often, Cage Hurts, What’s With The Diapers and more

You Cum Too Much

Hey caged lion, you aren’t really into chastity. Just look at your orgasm log, you cum more than I do and I’m not locked up. I think you aren’t really into chastity.

–Once a week

Dear Once,

I’m sorry that you don’t get enough. Forced chastity isn’t necessarily abstinence. A lot of  people into forced chastity find them having very little sexual release. Others, like me at least for now, are getting frequent release. Forced chastity is about control. My cage effectively prevents me from getting off. Mrs. Lion, my keyholder, decides when and how I get release. Our agreement says nothing about how often I get to cum. We agreed that I will be locked into my cage 24/7 and that Mrs. Lion will decide when or if my cage comes of and for what purpose.

So far she has given me two sabbaticals from captivity, both to allow sores to heal. Each time she released me she also made me cum. In her words, “You may be a wild lion for now but you aren’t likely to want sex for a while.” She’s right. She blunted the edge of my desire. When she decided I was ready to return to captivity she locked me up again.

The point is that my penis is not under my control. Mrs. Lion owns it. It just happens to be attached to me. She and only she decides when she wants to take it out and play. It’s up to her to take care of her toy in any way she sees fit. I’m very happy that she owns it and that so far she has been quite interested in playing with it. Unlike you, I can’t decide to play with it myself. If I get horny I have to deal with it. I only cum at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. That’s why it’s called chastity.

It hurts to be in my cage
Dear Caged Lion,

I’ve just gotten into being caged. I bought a CB6000S and have been experimenting with different sized cock rings. One of them seems to be the correct fit. I can just get one finger between the ring and my body. The longest I’ve been able to wear it has been for a few hours. The skin under the ring gets very sore and red. I just can’t keep it on.

Chafed

Dear Chafed,

This soreness is not unusual with a new device or just taking up chastity. As you go about your daily activity, your body flexes down there. The plastic ring on the CB6000 is pretty “grippy”; there is considerable friction between the ring and your body. As a result, your normal movements force the ring to overcome the friction and irritate you. Some people use lube under the ring. That will temporarily alleviate the friction. Others try larger rings. That sometimes helps, but of course reduces security. In my case, when I started out with a steel device, I had a 2″ ring. After an hour or two one of my balls would escape.  I moved down to a 1 7/8″ ring. That stopped the escape, but I could still get two fingers under it. Finally, I went to a 1 3/4″ ring. It was pretty uncomfortable for a few days. I got quite red and hurt. Mrs. Lion had to give me a 24 hour rest. Eventually, it stopped bothering me at all as my body learned to live with the cage.

I suggest you consider going from the plastic to stainless steel. There are inexpensive cages available from China that can provide a pretty good fit. Be sure to measure carefully. See our measurement page for instructions on how to find your size. You can find the best prices and assortment on dhgate.com. Expect to wait three to four weeks for your cage. If you are in a hurry, amazon.com and ebay both list devices. In the meantime, try going up a ring size or two on the CB6000. You might also try pulling your scrotum skin back toward your body so there is a lot of loose skin between the ring and your abdomen. Some find this helpful. Lube isn’t really going to work long term. Also, take off the device and give yourself some time to heal.  Good luck!

Must I wear diapers?

Dear Caged Lion,

I enjoy your blog, but there is something I don’t understand. What do diapers have to do with chastity? Are you saying that in addition to being caged I should also expect to wear diapers?

–Staying Dry

Dear Dry,

Diapers have nothing at all to do with chastity. Years ago Mrs. Lion and I were experimenting with topping and bottoming (she was/is the top). One idea I had was to make me wear a diaper. At the time I figured that being made to wear diapers was a very clear signal of my submission. I wasn’t interested in being an adult baby. That just isn’t my thing. There was definitely a feeling of helplessness when I had to sit in a wet or dirty diaper until Mrs. Lion allowed me to change. All in all, neither of us really enjoyed it and we soon dropped that form of play.

When I asked Mrs. Lion how she felt about locking me up, she agreed because she knew I wanted it. She knew that I really missed bottoming. In fact, she said that she was considering putting me in diapers again since she knows that makes me feel submissive. I didn’t comment. I really prefer using the toilet. Shortly after locking me up she told me that she wanted me to wear a diaper from after work Friday until I got dressed for work on Monday. She said that I only had to pee in my diaper. I could use the toilet to poop. That was a relief. Of course I agreed.

After a month of weekend diaper service, I can say that it still isn’t fun for me.  I don’t really like to pee myself. However, having to wear them does, in fact, make me feel more submissive to her. Last night after discarding a wet diaper, I forgot to put on a new one. That earned me some swats with a very painful paddle. This amazed me. It’s been years and years since Mrs. Lion disciplined me. My butt hurt but my heart soared. That was just what I needed.

The key reason the diapers are going along with my chastity is that she knows I want to be locked up. She also knows that I would rather not pee myself. Both the chastity and the diapers to me are expressions of her control, but the diapers are her idea, not mine. That by itself is enough to give me the sense of submission I so badly wanted.

So, no I am not advocating diaper wearing as part of your chastity. It’s part of mine because it works for us.

My husband wants me to lock him up

Dear Caged Lion,

Your blog is great. Your section for keyholders helped me understand just what my husband wants. I was surprised and a little upset when he told me that he wanted me to lock up his cock. I thought he didn’t want to have sex with me. Now that I know more we have been talking about locking his cock. I now understand what he wants, but I am not sure I can do everything he says he needs. He wants me to control him and tell him what to do. He says that if I don’t please him, I should keep him locked up longer and not orgasm until I think he is being good. I’m a busy woman and I don’t have the time to be his nanny. I want my husband to be the man of the house. I am fine with controlling his sex life, but I don’t want to be his mommy.

–Not his mommy

Dear Not,

It sounds like your husband wants more than forced chastity. This isn’t unusual. I have fantasies that go far beyond our current activities. I think that is natural. However, he needs to understand that he is turning control over to you. That means he shouldn’t expect to create the scenarios that you do with him. He wants you to take charge. So do so. Tell him that you are okay about locking him up and controlling when he gets to orgasm. Ask him if he understands that you, not he will decide what else you control. You may expect him to be sexually aggressive and work hard to keep you satisfied. You may tell him that you want him to do more around the house. However, you don’t want to punish him. He has to be in charge of his own life. You might also let him know that if he is a good boy and makes you very happy, you might reward him by taking him out of his cage for some fun.

The key is to clearly communicate what you want and what you are willing to do. Ask him if he still wants to be caged. If he says yes, then lock him up and do things your way.

If you would like to ask Caged Lion, just click on the Contact Us link.We love mail.

Mrs. Lion has resolved to put more effort into supporting our male chastity lifestyle. I got notice of this in a text message the other day. I have been very happy with her acceptance of my request to incorporate forced chastity into our lives. It hasn’t been easy for her, but she has been wonderful in her efforts to embrace this kink. Everyone who practices male orgasm control (chastity) has their own spin on how it should work. In most cases the objective is not simply to prevent the male from masturbating or having sex. It can also include making him really miss use of his cock. That is what I asked for when we had our chastity talk. Simply putting my penis in its little cage makes me long for release for a while. After three or four days I find myself getting a bit grumpy. After a week, my interest in release tends to lose immediacy. That’s where tease and deny comes in.

Tease and deny is exciting the male just to the edge of orgasm and stopping. The closer to orgasm the more profound the sense of loss. Sound cruel? It certainly did to Mrs. Lion. When we discussed this, she said that she really likes making me come. The idea of preventing me from ejaculating bothers her. She feels cruel. I get it. I’m not sure why I want this kind of torment, but I do. Last night, a couple of days after her declaration to “work harder” to do these things to me, she unlocked me and began stimulating me. It felt like a nice surprise hand job. Like most males, my arousal isn’t a nice, steady climb like a woman’s. Instead, I get hard and feel excited and then stay that way. A few seconds before I ejaculate my excitement rises very quickly, then I come. Effectively doing tease and deny with me requires interpreting my involuntary signals that I am just about to come. Even though Mrs. Lion reads me like a book, knowing the exact second before orgasm is not a sure thing. Want to see how it works? This page is a video of a very successful tease-and-deny session.

A couple of weeks ago she took me out to “stretch”. She stimulated me until I was very hard and then stopped. Later, I mentioned that I was pretty far from orgasm. I guess that encouraged her to push me harder. Last night she sure did. Unfortunately, just as she stopped I went over the edge. Without her touching I ejaculated. In chastity jargon that’s a “ruined orgasm”. Without direct stimulation during and after ejaculation, the orgasm is not as satisfying. Some keyholders use this form of somewhat disappointing masturbation to “milk” their males. That is, they use this method to get an ejaculation while minimizing male satisfaction. Sort of a maintenance squirt.

Mrs. Lion was surprised that I had managed to squirt. She decided to take advantage of my ruined orgasm and fed me the unexpected semen. I don’t like that flavor, but that wasn’t the point. It was a nice form of creative recycling and a very good expression of her control. I am so proud of her! Her new resolve has made a big difference in my life. I am very grateful that she loves me enough to go to this trouble for me.

Lion's second chastity cage

My second cage. This one is a much better fit. click here to see me modeling it on my penis.

Almost a month ago I discussed being caged with Mrs. Lion. After rolling her eyes, she said, “Well, if you want to.”

I had been studying various sites that sell lion cages. I had ordered a few for evaluation that had urethral tubes; these are hollow tubes that are inserted a couple of inches into the urethra. The idea appealed to me because one of the big problems I have always had with devices I tried was peeing. I could always pee sitting down, but I like the convenience of using a urinal. With the urethral tube, I reasoned, the flow would be directed out of the cage and make peeing standing up a real possibility. When the devices arrived, I had a bit of discomfort inserting the tubes, but it was minor and went away almost immediately.

The cages performed as advertised. I only wore each for a few hours. The idea of having that foreign body (the tube) in my urethra 24/7 worried me. While there was no danger of bladder infection; the tube is too short to get anywhere near the bladder, there was the real possibility of irritating or infecting my urethra. For that reason I decided that if I wanted to be caged full time I needed a model that didn’t include the urethral tube. I measured carefully and determined that I am two-inches-long when flaccid. That is smaller than average. Most of the devices I tried had cages at least three inches long. There was a lot of room between the tip of my penis and the end of the cage. This made peeing very messy and aesthetically wasn’t all that appealing.

I found an imported cage that claimed to be 1 1/2 inches long. This would be about right for me. It’s always better to have the cage between 1/4 and 1/2 inch shorter than your measurement. That assures your little mouth will always be against the end. It actually feels better as well as being a lot less messy in the bathroom. The cage, when it arrived was really only a bit over an inch long and about an inch in diameter. I could get in it without pain, but skin leaked out all over the place (If you would like to see how I looked in it, click here). I soon discovered that the skin escaping from the cage would be pinched by the lock as it moved. It worked and I got used to it, but it didn’t really fit. I knew this was temporary anyway. I ordered a Mature Metal Jail Bird cage, but they take six to eight weeks for manufacture. I figured I could endure the too-small cage that long.

It didn’t take long to realize that wearing the tiny cage would be very difficult for eight weeks, so, back to the Internet. I found another imported cage. Several companies offered the same cage. I could tell by examining the photos. Every offering specified a different cage length. They ranged from 2 inches to 3 1/2. After examining the photos, I decided the real length was probably closer to two inches. So I ordered one. It arrived yesterday.

The new cage is actually very close to two inches long measured along the bottom. Since I measured my cock along the bottom, it looked like this cage could really fit. The diameter was around 1 1/2 inches. I am a bit less than that. I followed good sanitation and boiled the cage for ten minutes. I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me into it. To my delight the new cage is a pretty good fit (click here to see me modeling it). The little mouth doesn’t always stay pressed between the bars, but it can’t recede more than a half inch or so. Most of the time it is right where it belongs. The spacing of the bars is very good so it doesn’t try to bite the cage (when it does that, pee sprays everywhere). The cock and ball ring is the same 1 3/4 inches I have been wearing. All in all, it is a good fit and I will be comfortable until the Jail Bird arrives.

While many fantasies center around uncomfortable cages, the reality is that I am locked in here all the time; at work, driving, at the theater, at home, and sleeping. An uncomfortable fit is very distracting and can ruin a night’s sleep. Another big fantasy item is “punishing” the penis if it tries to get hard. Pretty much every male gets at least one erection in his sleep. If it hurts to get hard,  you will be awakened several times a night. Mrs. Lion gave the new cage the tease test. She stimulated me until my little cock was pressing hard against the bars. No pain. It felt fine. I was frustrated, but not in pain. Enough teasing and I end up involuntarily teasing myself for hours, trying to get hard over and over with no stimulation. Cruel Mrs. Lion!

I love it.

It’s been a bit over three weeks now that I have been caged full time. Those first three weeks were a challenge physically and emotionally. Going in, I had no real idea how often, when alone, I like to do a little playing and enjoy my erection. That sort of activity is impossible through the bars of my cage. I have missed it. I didn’t realize how much until Mrs. Lion uncaged me for a little exercise last week. She told me that I needed to “stretch a bit.” She then proceeded to masturbate me. It felt so good! Just when I was ready to show her how much I liked it, she stopped. She said, “I just want you to stretch. No one said you could squirt too.”

I was surprised; more at the fact that I didn’t feel badly that she didn’t finish the job than at not getting to come. Later, after things calmed down and I was lying in my cage, I realized that I am really getting used to my new captivity. The other day she did an inspection and found a couple of red spots. She let me go “wild” for 24 hours. By the time we finished dinner the night after I was set free, I could feel a real longing for my cage. I wanted her to lock me up. After an hour or so I asked her to do it. She was kind enough to put my penis in its little cage.

I know that this is something I wanted. It wasn’t her idea at all. Even now I have no idea exactly why I am so drawn to forced chastity. There are so many possible explanations: I want her to initiate sex, being forced to wait is arousing, I need to feel the control, etc. The truth is that I just don’t know what draws me to this and why I am doing everything I can to assure that she wants it as much as I do.

It’s very difficult for Mrs. Lion. She genuinely loves to get me off. She doesn’t ever want to be cruel. I imagine that most women feel that way and it is a big reason why prolonged control like forced chastity just doesn’t work for them. Mrs. Lion is trying very hard to do this for me. It’s not exactly the same as having her do it to me, but it is definitely moving in a very good direction. I may never know why I want to surrender my sexual freedom with this steel cage; but I do.

Three weeks is also another milestone for me. The cage doesn’t hurt. Even though this temporary cage is too short and narrow for me, it has gone from being painful to wear to being so comfortable that much of the time I have no idea it is there. I am reminded when I need to pee. That is still a big challenge. Most of the time I just sit down to do it; no mess or aiming. However, that isn’t always easy. When I need to stand, there is a good chance it will go in an unexpected direction. Sometimes the little “mouth” gets behind a bar and a shower results; others, there is some pressure in the side of it and the stream goes down or far to one side. I have learned to visually check to make sure the opening is nicely centered. Even so, due to the angle of the cage, hitting my target isn’t a sure thing.

As I learn to enjoy my confinement, I am finding that sometimes when I a granted release it just doesn’t feel all that good. This was the case the other night. Mrs. Lion was doing a very nice job stimulating me, yet when the climax arrived it just wasn’t that good. It wasn’t her. Others report having this happen too. I think it is because confinement precludes the kind of stimulation we provide ourselves prior to the actual engagement with our partners. To me, at least, going from a “cold start” just doesn’t give my body the chance to make the mental and physical buildup it needs. Partly, this is due to age. Once you are on the north side of thirty, sexual responses start to change. I am well north of that line and I can see that my needs are different now. I am not sure how to change this. I don’t want to ask Mrs. Lion to make my orgasms any more complex than they already are. I want her to keep control. Maybe others who have gone through this will have some ideas.

I have been faithfully doing my kegel exercises each day on my commute. I can feel more strength, but so far it hasn’t affected my orgasms or the energy my semen has when I finally come. I was hoping that by strengthening those muscles, I could ejaculate with more force. Stay tuned. I will report as time goes by.