By:
In: Power Exchange, Spanking

There was a comment on my post yesterday, suggesting I get Lion an ankle bracelet to show I own him. I’ve never really been fond of the phrase “own him” or any variation thereof. He’s not my slave. He’s mine and I’m his, but neither of us owns the other. Nevertheless, a long time ago, I suggested he wear a necklace with a lock or something. He said he doesn’t like wearing jewelry. He was leaning more toward wearing a collar, which he did a few times when we went out, but it was obviously very visible, and he couldn’t wear it to work. Hence, my necklace suggestion.

As I was answering the comment, it occurred to me that I don’t care if he likes wearing jewelry or not. Am I not trying to show my power? If I say he’s going to wear a necklace, he’ll wear a necklace. And he will. I just ordered it. It’s a six-sided necklace engraved with “Property of Your Lioness Don’t Forget I Love You!” across the faces. It will be here in a week or two. Done. All I have to do now is make him wear it.

Speaking of making him do things, I’m dragging out the spanking bench this afternoon. He didn’t get a proper spanking last time and he has annoyed me a few times since then. I might even make him sit on that nasty doormat. Coconut husks are very prickly, especially on freshly whomped buns. He might not complain about not feeling a spanking for long once he gets one enhanced with a doormat. Silly boy.

[Lion — Does this mean painted nails, panties, and the necklace? PS: She’s right. I don’t like the idea of wearing a necklace at all, but I love that she will make me wear it anyway. I also wonder if we are back to the old-fashioned, strict spankings.]

By:
In: Power Exchange, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment

Sometimes taking care of Lion gets to me. It’s usually a little thing that sends me off the rails. Obviously, it’s a combination of things and that last straw really does break the camel’s back.

Since I’ve gotten contacts, I’ve been using Lion’s mirror in the bathroom. I use the higher magnification side and I try to remember to flip it back over to Lion’s side when I’m done. This morning, I flipped it but I didn’t get it into the correct position. When Lion went to put his contacts in, the case fell off the mirror and he lost a lens. He said, “I would appreciate it if you could put it back flat when you’re done with it.” For some reason, this hit a nerve.

It’s trivial. What’s the big deal? Why can’t I just make sure the mirror is flat? Why can’t he just make sure the mirror is flat? Is the toilet seat up or down? Does the toilet paper roll go over or under? Who cares? It’s just a nit picky thing that pushes all the wrong buttons.

Again, I think it’s in addition to other nit picky things that aren’t worth mentioning at the time. There’s something in front of the coffee pot so he couldn’t put it together for tomorrow. Could he move the “something” out of the way? That’s happened a few times and when I look it’s been things he bought that have no home yet. A few times it’s been dishes. But the way he says it makes it sound like it’s my stuff. How dare I put something on a counter. The nerve!

No. This has nothing to do with sex. But it does have something to do with our power exchange. Lion is right that I hold onto things rather than make waves. But, in this case, I think I’m right too. There’s no reason to punish Lion for not setting up the coffee pot if he can’t get to it, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s a little thing. There’s no reason to punish him for asking that the mirror be left in a certain position, even if I think he should be able to move it. It’s also a little thing.

The problem, of course, is when the little things add up. Do I punish him because this one tiny thing, added to the list of other tiny things, pushed me over the edge? I say no. Lion will undoubtedly say yes. Whatever he did that annoyed me should be punished. Period. I’m still grappling with that. It’s been very difficult for me.

[Lion — I know this is tough for my lioness. I’m sorry]

By:
In: Bondage, Mrs Lion Comments, Power Exchange

Yesterday, I was undecided about locking Lion up when the cage arrived or waiting until after we played last night. Our Ring doorbell announced someone at the front door as I was writing my post. I told Lion when my post was ready for him to read then I went to retrieve the package from the porch. It was the cage. Lion hadn’t read my post yet. He was in a hurry to take pictures of the cage. Initially, I thought he was going to just take a picture of it, but then he wanted it on him to take the picture.

I was conflicted. I hadn’t decided if I wanted to lock him up right away or not. Why did he need it on right that second? As I’m sure you’ve guessed, it’s hard to stop a bulldozing Lion. I mean, I guess I could have told him to back the train up. He’s not in charge. Instead, I put the cage on him for the pictures. Afterward, he asked if I wanted it left on or not. Well, it’s kind of late for that decision. It’s already on. It might as well stay on. And, I thought, since he’s made the decision for me, maybe it should stay on until Sunday.

It turns out that I didn’t need to unlock him anyway. My tummy was in charge and it said run to the bathroom every so often. I’m never sure what pisses it off but it dictates activities for a while. We ate our standard noodles-for-upset-tummy dinner and I waited to see if all hell would break loose. Obviously, I didn’t want to be sucking Lion and suddenly need to make a run for it so we didn’t do anything. Lion snoozed a bit. I was feeling a little better but if the day had taught me anything, that could change at a moment’s notice.

Lion asked if I like the cage. Actually, he asked if I like him in the cage. Then he said I probably don’t even notice. That’s true, but I don’t notice the pinky finger on his left hand unless I happen to be looking at it. I don’t tend to notice his balls unless they’re hanging down when he bends over. I wonder how much he notices about me. I know it’s more difficult now that his vision has deteriorated, but did he ever really notice my boobs or butt on a somewhat regular basis? [Lion comments — I did and still do!] When we walk up to each other from behind we do tend to rub each other’s butts rather than draping an arm around each other. The cage is small, comparatively. I don’t notice it unless I notice it.

Realistically, I usually only notice it when I go to play with my weenie and find it’s locked away. Normally that annoys me. I want my weenie accessible when I want my weenie accessible. Dammit! It’s my weenie. Now I have to find the keys (which aren’t hidden because I don’t know what I did with the lockbox now and unlocking the things used to unlock my weenie is particularly annoying) and unlock him which ruins (for me) any kind of mood I was trying to run with. That’s what happens when I forget the cage is on. When I remember, it’s less annoying.

I understand Lion’s wanting to be caged. Well, as much as Lion understands it. It’s a bondage/power thing. I’m in charge and I’m stopping him from playing with himself. He doesn’t have permission to play with himself. The cage is the guard making sure no one tries to break in. Of course, it also keeps me out until I unlock him. Is it possible the cage really holds the power?

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Female led relationship with discipline, Femdom, Power Exchange, Punishment
lion spanked by heart paddle

Things are a little different around here. I’m not claiming that Mrs. Lion has morphed into lioness 4.0. It’s nothing that drastic. But there is a change that I sense. It’s subtle and I’m not sure that Mrs. Lion is even consciously aware of it. Let me explain. Most every night, Mrs. Lion will come over and snuggle with me and will tease me sexually. Until recently, she teased me until I reached the edge of orgasm several times. In the last few weeks, it’s been very difficult to get me to the edge. I can’t explain it, but it’s been very difficult. In the last week or so, she stopped trying. Essentially, she played with my penis, or should I say her weenie, for a while until she decided she was done.

She stopped worrying about whether or not I reached the edge. Her recent program of oral stimulation follows the same pattern. She gets me very excited and stops whenever she decides she’s done enough. The big change is that she doesn’t worry about my reaction.

At the same time, she’s been taking a more matter-of-fact view of discipline. Most recently, I forgot to do one of my chores: I didn’t get the coffeepot set up for the next morning. I also forgot to remind her that Saturday was a punishment day. In a very ordinary, routine way, after her shower on Sunday night, Mrs. Lion told me to get into position to be spanked. She got her paddle and proceeded. She stopped for a bit because there was some blood. It turned out it was just a couple of tiny spots, so she continued.

Before she started, she moved my punishment stool into a corner near the bedroom. After my spanking she told me to go sit on my stool facing the corner. She was kind this time because she removed the coir welcome mat from the stool. I just had to sit on rough, stair tread tape. She made me stay there for a very uncomfortable 10 minutes. When I got up she commented that my butt was very red. I could feel the heat.

My point is that she treats this is a routine part of her day. It gives me a sense that she has internalized her disciplinary role. Additionally, as you may have noticed in a recent post, she told me I was a bad boy. In an email yesterday, I referenced the fact that it hurt to sit down. She replied that was because I was a bad boy. I wrote back that I would try hard to be good.

I like this change. I don’t think Mrs. Lion perceives me differently. I just think that she’s more fully into her role. All of us play different roles in life. These roles aren’t fake the way actors create characters in a play. They are the way we relate to each other and to different situations. For example, in terms of my relationship with Mrs. Lion, she is my disciplining wife. That means wherever she chooses to impose rules, I must follow them. Failing to follow them results in punishment. At other times I am her husband and partner.

These roles exist in parallel. I can be offering my opinion and acting as Mrs. Lion’s partner and then, I say something that crosses a line. At that point Mrs. Lion’s disciplining wife role surfaces and she disciplines me. It’s not very complex at all. It just takes time, patience and a lot of love to make it work.

Mrs. Lion and I were talking about spanking on Sunday night. She had patted my bottom gently and commented that was probably harder than my first spanking from her. I asked her why she was so gentle that first time. She told me that she didn’t want to hurt me. It’s taken a lot of years for her to change her approach. Now, when she spanks me she wants to hurt me. She knows that it’s necessary for me to feel her displeasure. Her focus is on the technique to most effectively give me a sore bottom that will continue hurting for a day or two afterward.

It’s not that she likes to hurt me. She’s learned that she has to spank me with enough intensity to deter me from future infractions. A good example of this is my continuing problem with remembering Saturday punishment day. Normally, forgetting that I should remind her would get me one of those little funishments. However, I have forgotten at least three out of the last five weeks. She felt that a more meaningful punishment was called for. So, I got spanked.

That spanking made a real impression on me. I can tell you that I made a special point of reminding her that Monday was punishment day and first thing Monday morning I set up the coffee pot for Tuesday. I consider this very fair. After all, I’ve been asking Mrs. Lion to be completely consistent in terms of helping me improve my behavior. She has worked hard to do this. Shouldn’t I work equally hard to do the things she wishes? I think so. My penalty for failing is physically painful. Hers is probably more severe; she feels guilty for not doing what she knows I need.

We both have very positive incentives as well. She lets me know she’s pleased when I’m a good boy. I know she feels good when she sees how happy she makes me in her role as my disciplining wife.

The biggest change is that all of this used to be more artificial like a BDSM scene. It didn’t feel to me like it was a normal part of our lives. It was something that Mrs. Lion did because she knew I wanted it. Her role felt divided from her normal day-to-day behavior. Now, it doesn’t feel that way anymore. She’s my disciplining wife all the time as well as being my partner and lover. Just as sexual control has become a natural part of our lives, I think that our disciplinary relationship has reached that level as well.

I’m not claiming that we’ve arrived. Mrs. Lion still has to work on letting me know when I say things that annoy her. We still have to integrate administration of punishment more smoothly into our lives. Right now, it’s a sort of event that happens many hours after the offense. I think eventually we will reach the point when Mrs. Lion will just lead me into the bedroom after I say something or do something wrong, tell me to assume the position, and administer my punishment. I don’t know how far we are from that step. I think when she does that, we’ve reached lioness 4.0. I think that will be when she has completely integrated her role as disciplining wife into her day to day activities.

There are two steps before she reaches that point. The first is becoming aware of and reacting to things that annoy her. Up until now, she simply growls a little if she has any reaction at all. When she begins letting me know what I’ve been doing in a more disciplinary way, I believe that we will both experience another change. This change will be very positive for me. Just as I learned to keep assigned chores top of mind, I will become much more consciously aware of the way I speak to her. I think it will overflow into the way I speak to others as well. I will learn to be much more respectful and polite. I’m not going to like it in the beginning, but I believe it will make me a better person.